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Topic: CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

Forum: Bonded by Breast Cancer —

For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 18, 2015 05:14PM - edited Feb 20, 2016 09:31PM by SlowDeepBreaths

SlowDeepBreaths wrote:

I'm hoping there isn't another thread like this. I did a search and saw one for stage 4, but nothing for everyone else. My very special friend on BCO (Tomboy), and I have talked about a Crazy Town thread for awhile now. I know she will be happy I finally took the bull by the horns!!

I wrote a little story about visiting Crazy Town last year on my blog, and I received some lovely emails from women all over the world talking about how terrifying those feelings can become. I thought I would share that story with my BCO sisters. I know many of you can relate to the craziness of worrying about recurrence or progression. I think my experience epitomizes the crazy place our minds can go. I've found when I can laugh at myself, I always feel better.

"My master bath has its own little room for the toilet. The sink, shower and tub are all in the same room. At night when I have to use the bathroom, I always turn on the closet light which is right next to my sink. This way I don't have to turn on all the lights above the sink. They are very bright and there are a lot of them. I do this so the brightness doesn't wake up my DH. Being the OCD person I am, I always wash my hands after using the restroom – even in the middle of the night.

One night last week, I was doing my usual ritual and I caught a glimpse of a big blackish/brown mark on the upper left side of my chest.This thing was huge. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest when I caught a glimpse of it. I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about - that feeling of dread.I ran my fingers over it and it felt raised. I couldn't imagine what it could be – it was SO big. I thought, "Oh great, here we go again, now I've got skin cancer." Then I decided to risk waking DH up by turning on the millions of lights above the sink. Then I got a closer look. UNBELIEVABLE!!……it was a piece of chocolate from a cookie I had eaten earlier!!!!! Apparently it had melted into my chest and I went to bed that way. Can you imagine?? Now if that doesn't give you a good laugh, I don't know what will. CRAZY TOWN!!!"

I have many stories since diagnosis. I call it going to Crazy Town. Some of them are funny, others not so much. I usually go there in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping, and my mind wanders. There are no trains, planes or busses out of Crazy Town in the middle of the night. I also go there at times when I'm waiting on test results. I hope we can all share our Crazy Town stories. Talking about it has helped me to stay on the outskirts of the town. I've been really good about not visiting lately, but this week it's been a real challenge.

If you have tests coming up, or you just have a day where you're worried more than usual, or if you just want to hang out and chat, please stop in to visit. It is my hope we can have some fun here and get each other through on difficult days with humor, kindness and hugs!!

Much love to all,

Beppy ツ

P.S. If you've just been diagnosed, I strongly suggest starting a blog. Whether it be just for yourself, or you'd like to share it with others. It's been a good outlet to get my feelings out as well as a wonderful timeline to refer back to when needed.



Great info about breast cancer and PTSD:

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/cancer-treatment-leaves-survivors-with-ptsd-scars-031215#3


Dx 4/2016, TN mets to lung. VATS left upper lobe wedge resection. "Fall seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH)
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Oct 9, 2020 05:08AM rainnyc wrote:

I'm so, so sorry to hear about Iris. She was such a steady presence, never asking for pity as it was clear her disease was getting worse.

Good luck to all going for scans. And stay well and safe!

Dx 4/2015, IDC, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 5/12/2015 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 5/12/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 9/22/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2015 Lymph nodes, Chest wall Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Nov 17, 2020 07:47AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Anxiously awaiting the phone to ring with a call I have been expecting since Friday. My eldest nephew’s first child is due to be born today. First time I will be called Great Auntie!



If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Nov 17, 2020 08:46PM ChiSandy wrote:

That's the GOOD kind of "Crazy Town, M0mmy!!! Mazel tov!

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 18, 2020 02:30AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Sandy! My Great Nephew made his entry to the world around noon my time. His dad sent me pictures since they live halfway across the country.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Nov 18, 2020 04:43PM ChiSandy wrote:

Oh, how adorable! Mazel Tov!

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 19, 2020 02:06AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks again! I was so happy I cried happy tears!


If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Nov 23, 2020 07:48PM octogirl wrote:

Congratulations, Great Auntie! Awesome!

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 24, 2020 11:24AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks!


If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Nov 24, 2020 02:22PM ChiSandy wrote:

And happy T-Day birthday (perfect excuse to "gobble" to your heart's delight).

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 24, 2020 08:42PM Lucy55 wrote:

Mommy ..great news ! He's beautiful 💕

Surgery 8/26/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/14/2014 Surgery
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Nov 25, 2020 03:32AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks all!

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Nov 25, 2020 01:47PM octogirl wrote:

Happy Thanksgiving to all the Crazies!

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 25, 2020 06:28PM CeliaC wrote:

Mommy - Congrats on becoming a Great Auntie!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!


Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 27, 2020 08:33AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Celia!


If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 6, 2021 08:32AM LB13 wrote:

Hi all,

I need to take a little trip to the crazy town waiting room..... I know MANY of you have been there for this reason - just need to vent and have someone snap me back to reality..... On Jan 20th, I get my first mammogram since having BC. I AM PETRIFIED. Not of the pain or uncomfortableness of the test - but of the dreaded unknown. Trying very hard to be positive and remind myself that blood work has all been good (every 3 months) since my diagnosis last January - finished radiation in June - taking Tamoxifen etc...... BUT I AM PETRIFIED. Up half the night with the crazy town thoughts... Help!!

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 6, 2021 08:46AM bcincolorado wrote:

LB13 hang in there. Been there and still there. Did mx on one side and get mamo on non cancer side. Where I go it is a breast center affiliated with my hospital and because of my history they do read it while I am there and I usually know if I am ok before I leave. Last year I did have to get a second 3D scan for more pictures and then they wanted an ultrasound which then made me scared and I was kind of scared but it was a cyst they are watching for now. Hang in there. You can always ask if they can review while you are there for your own piece of mind and let you know.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/6/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/14/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/29/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 6, 2021 09:02AM LB13 wrote:

Thank you bcincolorado - yes - they read while I am there. Actually - I have my one year follow up with my surgeon immediately following the mammogram. So, I will know right away - which is good.

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 6, 2021 04:35PM CeliaC wrote:

LB13 - I think many of us experience the same trepidation annually. Will be hoping for a good outcome for you. My annual mammo & breast surgeon follow up immediately after is coming up on Jan 29th. They also read while there, so results are known right away, even before the breast surgeon appointment. My experience was that the 1st mammo was no more or less painful than prior ones. Calming thoughts coming your way!


Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 7, 2021 06:42AM LB13 wrote:

Thank you CeliaC and best wishes to you for a clear report as well! It is good to 'hold hands' with those that know this journey and the associated fears. Trying to breathe deeply and think positively :)

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 7, 2021 09:43AM - edited Jan 7, 2021 09:44AM by M0mmyof2

Although they never do mammos on me because of the implants (surgeon does ultrasounds and relies on CT Scan results), I do understand the being worried part. I hope that anyone facing scans or any tests get good results.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 7, 2021 04:58PM octogirl wrote:

I had a bit of a Crazy Town time with my last mammo (about a month or two ago) because they did it, and instead of just saying, 'all is good, go home'...the nurse came in and said the radiologist wanted to do an ultrasound also.....waiting for the ultrasound and having it done really triggered some bad memories for me, but then the radiologist came it and assured me that it is routine for her: she hadn't seen anything on the mammo but likes to do ultrasound with anyone who has had bc with thick tissue. And it was all clear!

So, wishing the best of results to you LB and Celia and do keep us posted. In your pocket!

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 9, 2021 04:55PM - edited Jan 9, 2021 04:55PM by ChiSandy

LB, the scanxiety on the first "cancerversary" is always the worst. You'll do fine, especially considering your diagnosis & treatment. Recently, they put me back on an "annual routine bilateral screening" mammo schedule, so I don't get the news on-site (especially this last time, due to hospitals wanting to minimize time in the facility during the pandemic). But the "all clear, see you next year" letter was in my patient portal the next morning.

Celia, fingers crossed for you too.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 12, 2021 01:09PM LB13 wrote:

Thank you ChiSandy - I am not sure I will be able to fully breathe until that test is over. My test/appt is the 20th - hubby's birthday is the 21st and mine is the 25th. I am sure hoping we have lots to celebrate this year. I keep telling myself it will all be fine. I keep praying. Then my mind goes over the cliff with worry...... uggghhhhh.

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 12, 2021 08:02PM Beaverntx wrote:

So I am back in crazytown. Had a dexa scan a few weeks ago and have not received a report . Called today and was told I have to see my PCP for results and that the office has required a visit for a long time. I have never previously experienced this requirement and they made an appointment for this Thursday. You know where my mind is going...

Diagnosed at age 77-- Oncotype 17, dealing with this bump in the road of life!!🎆 Dx 1/24/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/30/2018, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0 Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/11/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Surgery 6/15/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 12, 2021 08:58PM MinusTwo wrote:

Hey Beav - sorry you're dumped back here. Hope the results are easily fixed. I'm up for my 10th Prolia shot and so far, no problems and my bones are building "greatly".

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jan 14, 2021 10:00AM Beaverntx wrote:

OK, it truly is their policy to see patients to discuss dexa scan results that I somehow missed out on with my previous three scans with this practice. Results indicated slight improvement although I am still determined to have osteopenia. Big sigh of relief!

Diagnosed at age 77-- Oncotype 17, dealing with this bump in the road of life!!🎆 Dx 1/24/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/30/2018, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0 Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/11/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Surgery 6/15/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 16, 2021 04:43PM CeliaC wrote:

Beaverntx - Glad to hear your good dexa scan results, at last. I had my dexa scan on 12/21/20 & figured something would post in My Chart. Diagnostic Mammo & Breast Surgeon follow up on 1/29, which is where I will hear the results. Will be interesting to see what the workouts I have been doing since Feb 2020 have yielded.

Hopeful for a big sigh of relief as well.


Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 18, 2021 06:24PM ChiSandy wrote:

DEXA reports don't post to patient portals--but after my most recent one last Feb. my MO messaged me that I'd improved a little. The reports include images and take up multiple pages.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 18, 2021 06:56PM MinusTwo wrote:

Actually my DEXA reports DO post to "my chart". Guess it depends on the facility.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jan 20, 2021 05:52AM LB13 wrote:

Today is the day - major scanxiety...... one year out. First mammo since diagnosis at 1:15 today. Just asking for you all to jump in my pocket with me. <3


Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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