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Topic: CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

Forum: Bonded by Breast Cancer —

For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 18, 2015 05:14PM - edited Feb 20, 2016 09:31PM by SlowDeepBreaths

SlowDeepBreaths wrote:

I'm hoping there isn't another thread like this. I did a search and saw one for stage 4, but nothing for everyone else. My very special friend on BCO (Tomboy), and I have talked about a Crazy Town thread for awhile now. I know she will be happy I finally took the bull by the horns!!

I wrote a little story about visiting Crazy Town last year on my blog, and I received some lovely emails from women all over the world talking about how terrifying those feelings can become. I thought I would share that story with my BCO sisters. I know many of you can relate to the craziness of worrying about recurrence or progression. I think my experience epitomizes the crazy place our minds can go. I've found when I can laugh at myself, I always feel better.

"My master bath has its own little room for the toilet. The sink, shower and tub are all in the same room. At night when I have to use the bathroom, I always turn on the closet light which is right next to my sink. This way I don't have to turn on all the lights above the sink. They are very bright and there are a lot of them. I do this so the brightness doesn't wake up my DH. Being the OCD person I am, I always wash my hands after using the restroom – even in the middle of the night.

One night last week, I was doing my usual ritual and I caught a glimpse of a big blackish/brown mark on the upper left side of my chest.This thing was huge. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest when I caught a glimpse of it. I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about - that feeling of dread.I ran my fingers over it and it felt raised. I couldn't imagine what it could be – it was SO big. I thought, "Oh great, here we go again, now I've got skin cancer." Then I decided to risk waking DH up by turning on the millions of lights above the sink. Then I got a closer look. UNBELIEVABLE!!……it was a piece of chocolate from a cookie I had eaten earlier!!!!! Apparently it had melted into my chest and I went to bed that way. Can you imagine?? Now if that doesn't give you a good laugh, I don't know what will. CRAZY TOWN!!!"

I have many stories since diagnosis. I call it going to Crazy Town. Some of them are funny, others not so much. I usually go there in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping, and my mind wanders. There are no trains, planes or busses out of Crazy Town in the middle of the night. I also go there at times when I'm waiting on test results. I hope we can all share our Crazy Town stories. Talking about it has helped me to stay on the outskirts of the town. I've been really good about not visiting lately, but this week it's been a real challenge.

If you have tests coming up, or you just have a day where you're worried more than usual, or if you just want to hang out and chat, please stop in to visit. It is my hope we can have some fun here and get each other through on difficult days with humor, kindness and hugs!!

Much love to all,

Beppy ツ

P.S. If you've just been diagnosed, I strongly suggest starting a blog. Whether it be just for yourself, or you'd like to share it with others. It's been a good outlet to get my feelings out as well as a wonderful timeline to refer back to when needed.



Great info about breast cancer and PTSD:

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/cancer-treatment-leaves-survivors-with-ptsd-scars-031215#3


Dx 4/2016, TN mets to lung. VATS left upper lobe wedge resection. "Fall seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Dx 7/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH)
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Jan 20, 2021 09:32AM Lucy55 wrote:

LB13 ... definately in your pocket !!!

Surgery 8/26/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/14/2014 Surgery
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Jan 20, 2021 09:36AM Beaverntx wrote:

Joining others in your pocket, LB.

Diagnosed at age 77-- Oncotype 17, dealing with this bump in the road of life!!🎆 Dx 1/24/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/30/2018, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0 Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/11/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Surgery 6/15/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 20, 2021 11:28AM octogirl wrote:

In your pocket, LB!! Keep us posted. Sending virtual hugs.

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 20, 2021 12:29PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

LB, I’m joining everyone else in your pocket

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 20, 2021 02:27PM ChiSandy wrote:

In your pocket, LB!

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 21, 2021 08:32AM LB13 wrote:

Thank you all for the support—I definitely felt the love. I am so grateful to report my first post-cancer mammo was clear! A little sigh of relief for a minute. So thankful for all of you

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 21, 2021 10:24AM Lucy55 wrote:

LB13...Yay for great news !! 🌞

Surgery 8/26/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/14/2014 Surgery
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Jan 21, 2021 11:45AM Beaverntx wrote:

LB, time to celebrate the good news!

Diagnosed at age 77-- Oncotype 17, dealing with this bump in the road of life!!🎆 Dx 1/24/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/30/2018, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0 Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/11/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Surgery 6/15/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 21, 2021 01:19PM JAN69 wrote:

Hello, I wanted to come on here and wave "hi" to the Crazies. I was dx 10 years ago and have been doing just fine, thank you. Then, my pcp wanted me to have a PT/Ct scan and now I'm circling Crazy Town Civic Center. Scan shows 3 spots of mild interest and first biopsy on original tumor needs to be checked out with surgeon. Still have to have the lung doctors tell me what they think that little spot might be. All of these appointments have been office visits which scares me on top of the fear of whatever may be lurking beneath the surface. I've had my first Covid vaccine, but 2nd is still a couple of weeks away.

I think of Beppie nearly every day. She gave me a lovely coffee mug when we met and I have my morning coffee in that mug. Does anyone have contact with her husband? Or know if her daughter has made her a grandmother?

Sending greetings to all of you. I hope you are all staying safe and living life to the fullest. Jan

Dx 1/2011, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 6/12 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jan 22, 2021 12:47PM Lucy55 wrote:

Hi Jan..

Hoping all goes well with your Dr appointments ..! I know how stressful it all it 😒

I think of Beepy often too ..every time I come on here ..and many other times too..We had planned to travel , and stay with her and hubby a few days the following year ...

Our covid vaccines start here in Australia next month ..I'll be getting mine as soon as I can !

Take care


Surgery 8/26/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/14/2014 Surgery
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Jan 22, 2021 02:11PM octogirl wrote:

Jan, so good to hear from you! but so sorry to hear you are in Crazytown! Heck, I think this pandemic puts us all there, so pull up a chair. We are all in your pockets for the followup...please keep us posted. I think of Beppy often too. Wish I had contact info for her hubby. I did meet him once, seemed like such a nice person.

LB, hip, hip, hooray for good news!!



Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 22, 2021 02:49PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Great news LB

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 23, 2021 01:27PM ChiSandy wrote:

LB, congrats on the clean mammo.

Jan, one step at a time--those spots may be nothing. I had a spot on my lung in July, per the chest/ab/pelvic CT I took before my eye radiation. Repeat scan in Oct. showed that it shrank. My onc team is certain it's scarring, most likely from the paroxysmal coughing I had in Dec. 2019 (pertussis was the working dx). Inflammation also "lights up" a PET scan. About 17 yrs ago I had some R hip pain, with some sort of soft tissue intermittently "catching." X-ray showed a chunk of my R iliac crest (pelvic bone) had broken off. Orthopedist was concerned, as I was too young for osteoporosis and didn't recall any serious injuries. He ordered a PET scan to rule out bone cancer. The scan showed a large area that "lit up" consistent with inflammation. He then remembered that his ex-partner had--back in late 1996--harvested bone from my iliac crest to mix with epoxy to repair my leg shattered by its, uh, "unintentional encounter" with a car bumper. He dug a little too deep, but better to harvest too much bone than too little. I had the option of getting the broken-off chunk removed laparoscopically or letting my body resorb it. I chose the latter, which turned out to be fine.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 25, 2021 07:40AM LB13 wrote:

Thanks all - and Jan - in your pocket - praying for good news for you! :)

Dx 1/28/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/27/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2020 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 25, 2021 04:00PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Feel like I have been punched in the gut. I just found out that I lost a dear friend earlier this month.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 25, 2021 05:35PM CeliaC wrote:

LB - Congrats on the good mammo results!

On the 29th, will be getting mine and hoping for good results!

Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 25, 2021 05:36PM octogirl wrote:

I am so sorry to hear that Mommy!

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 26, 2021 01:56AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Octo.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 26, 2021 12:24PM ChiSandy wrote:

So sorry, M0mmy. May your friend's memory be for a blessing. It's always more shocking when the news is delayed.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 26, 2021 01:56PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Sandy. It was a complete shock to see her obituary. We’d been friends since ‘01 when we met on a fan forum for a show we liked

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 29, 2021 02:30PM rainnyc wrote:

Hi Crazytown inhabitants,

I don't stop by much anymore, and I see this thread is quiet. What might bring me here? Why of course, a PET scan! It happened Monday of this week, and I heard from the oncologist on Wednesday that all is fine. Now in recovery from several nights of insomnia, circling the Crazy drain. Count me as another one who has a lung spot that MO feels is dead tissue; it's been there for a couple of years and hasn't changed through several rounds of PET/MRI scans.

So sorry about your friend, Mommy. This has been a hard year, with so much death and bad news for so many. May her memory be a blessing.

Count me as another who thinks of our lovely Beppy from time to time. I felt so fortunate that she included me on her whirlwind tour of NY city about six months before she died.

Octo (or anyone else), I do have her home address, if you want to try and get in touch with Bud, assuming he hasn't moved away.

Have a fine weekend, all! It's cold here, so I'm thinking soup....

Dx 4/2015, IDC, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 5/12/2015 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 5/12/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 9/22/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2015 Lymph nodes, Chest wall Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Jan 29, 2021 02:33PM CeliaC wrote:

Mommy - Adding my somewhat belated condolences to you on the loss of your friend.

Had mammo & breast surgeon visit today. Mammo all clear (4 yrs NED)! Got Dexa results - low density, but not enough to warrant Prolia or similar. Will see how things go with the MO - 2 wks from today. Hoping to confirm 5 yrs only for the Arimidex.

Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 30, 2021 02:16AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Celia. My late friend had been having health issues starting in early Fall of last year. I think her body was just worn out from that.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 30, 2021 06:47PM octogirl wrote:

rain, good to hear from you and yeah for good scan results!

I'd love Bud's address, if you could send it to me in a PM...or just put your email in a PM and I will email you....

I may not have mentioned this on this thread, but my son is now living his dream; living in Manhattan. So rain, as soon as Covid permits, I am heading to the Big Apple. Maybe as soon as this spring or summer if all goes well. Would love to meet up while I am there, and I definitely hope to have my vaccine by then.

Lucy, speaking of visits, I just read that Oz is talking about keeping its border shut for all of 2021. I sure hope not!

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 31, 2021 05:01AM rainnyc wrote:

Octo, that's great news that you're coming east at some point! I'll send a DM with relevant info.

If anyone else wants Bud's address (assuming he hasn't moved), let me know.

Gloriously cold here. Snow's a coming!

Dx 4/2015, IDC, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 5/12/2015 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 5/12/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 9/22/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2015 Lymph nodes, Chest wall Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Jan 31, 2021 08:06AM M0mmyof2 wrote:

It sure is Rain! I’m east of you and all prepared!

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 31, 2021 11:05AM - edited Jan 31, 2021 11:08AM by Lucy55

Rain ..so good to hear all went well with your scan !!

Mommy ..sorry your lost your friend ..

Octo...Our government is saying that our boarders will be shut for 2021...At this stage even returning Australians have to go into self paid hotel quarantine for 2 weeks before going home They are very strict ..Brisbane had a single case a few weeks ago ( other than overseas returns who were in quarantine ) and we all had to go into lockdown , and other states shut their boarders to us ..then yesterday Western Australia got their first community case in months and Perth is now in lockdown .

In most cases it is leaked out by people who work at the quarantine hotels.

The vaccines start here later in Feb..and they are hoping to have everyone done in a few months ...everyone whose wiling to be done that is ...We are both getting ours as soon as we can ..We know quite a few people who aren't going to have it though , which I quess will slow the opening of our boarders as well...




Surgery 8/26/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/14/2014 Surgery
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Jan 31, 2021 01:46PM M0mmyof2 wrote:

Thanks Lucy

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jan 31, 2021 03:14PM rainnyc wrote:

Mommyof2, where in Connecticut do you live?

Storm prep: tomato soup made, cookies almost done, chicken ready to roast!

Lucy, that is so interesting that your government is planning on just a few months to get everyone vaccinated. Here, it's a bit like Hunger Games getting a vaccination appointment. I'm not eligible yet and won't be for a while. My husband is, and fortunately we were able to get him an appointment--assuming it's not cancelled due to weather.

Always something....

Dx 4/2015, IDC, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 5/12/2015 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 5/12/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 9/22/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2015 Lymph nodes, Chest wall Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Jan 31, 2021 11:34PM ChiSandy wrote:

Vaccine appt. process here is like a cross between Hunger Games and trying to buy Springsteen tickets online as soon as they go on sale. (Pretty much also what happened with the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit, which sold out all of Feb. & March in less than 2 hrs.). Just got off the phone with my singing partner up in Madison, WI; vaccines are even scarcer up there. I have to start practicing for the virtual concert I'm doing (from my living room) March 5 for the coffeehouse he books. The guy who did a concert last week parodied one of my songs! If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, being parodied is a true sign I've "arrived" (at least in the IL/WI folk community). He's not Weird Al, but close enough for folk music.

A mutual friend found a program that almost completely eliminates the delay & echo of doing live duets over Zoom, so maybe we can do concerts again as a duo, rather than swapping songs. Stay tuned...

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)

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