Topic: In Favor of Feminism: Share Your Views

Forum: Bonded by Breast Cancer — For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 13, 2021 01:13PM - edited Jul 14, 2021 07:48AM by divinemrsm

Posted on: Jul 13, 2021 01:13PM - edited Jul 14, 2021 07:48AM by divinemrsm

divinemrsm wrote:

I'm starting this thread for those of us who support feminism and its beliefs, so we can exchange thoughts, ideas, inspiration, frustrations, personal stories, news stories, famous people stories, memes, book & video recommendations and other matters pertaining to women's equality.

Here's a general definition of feminism: the belief in full social, economic, and political equality and opportunities for all genders. It's about respecting diverse women's experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths, and striving to empower all women to realise their full rights.

[[****Edited to add: The above description is taken from several websites and aligns with my personal view of what feminism means to me. You may have other thoughts. What does feminism mean to you? Please feel free to discuss.]]

Only in the last ten years or so have my eyes been open to the patriarchal world we live in. Since then, I'm continually aware of the many women (including from this forum and also myself) who've been conditioned (by society, religion, family tradition, etc.) to prioritize others before themselves; to take on a "less than" persona, to minimize themselves and their contributions. As women, we need to recognize our value individually and collectively, advocate for ourselves and treat ourselves with the same care and loving-kindness with which we treat others.

Please honor the spirit of the thread. It's not for opposing views. The intention is for those of us with similar views on feminism to have a space to gather, share insights and find support. I feel I will have a lot to contribute. Will you join me?


found lump 12-22-10—ilc—er+/pr+/her2—stage iv bone mets—chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex—March 2019-ibrance/aromasin* —Sept 2019-verzenio* —March 2020-xeloda*
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Jul 23, 2021 10:12PM serenitystat wrote:

I went to parochial schools until I was about 13. Girls were required to wear skirts that were a certain distance from the knees. To check they made the girls kneel. Picture that. 🤬

As for the Olympics, some of their rules can be sexist and racist. For example, the approved swimming caps don't fit some swimmers with natural Black hair. One swimmer designed caps to fit, but couldn't get it approved for Olympic competition. Can't remember the nonsensical reason given, but the cap wouldn't give them a competitive advantage. Not everyone is willing to shave their hair (and those of us who lost hair definitely understand).

BCO leaked our private data. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ . . . . . "Do not overlook the little joys!" (Hesse, 1905) 🐶Dx.11/2015.IDC.L.IIIC.10/11nodes.++- ☕️12/2015.L.Mast 🛀2/2016.4AC.12Taxol.fasted 🖼9/2016.Rads.Nodes.ChestWall.15+4boosts 🥐10/2016.Tamox(2.5y) 🌲4/2019.Exemestane 🎭12/2019.Ibrance/Xgeva 🕊
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Jul 24, 2021 07:50AM - edited Jul 24, 2021 07:54AM by divinemrsm

Serenity, I attended a Catholic grade school for several years, too, and remember those skirt length guidelines. When I transferred to public school, dress code for girls still required us to wear skirts or dresses. Not until 1974 or 75 did the rules change and we were permitted to wear “pantsuits", no jeans, and then a year or so later, jeans were finally allowed.

According to this article from ABC (edited for length) there is improvement in women's Olympic sports on some levels:


*Tokyo is the most gender-equal Olympics in the games' history, organizers said.


At the first modern Olympic Games, held in 1896 in Athens, there wasn't a single female competitor. When the 2020 Games kick off in Tokyo this month, nearly half of the athletes competing will be women.

Tokyo marks a "turning point" for the elite international sporting competition as the most gender-equal Olympics in the games' history, organizers said, with women accounting for nearly 49% of the 11,090 athletes. That's up from 45% at the last games in 2016 in Rio, 23% at the 1984 Games in Los Angeles, 13.2% at the 1964 Games in Tokyo, and 2.2% at the 1900 Games in Paris -- the first to have female athletes.

The milestone comes as the 2020 Games have sparked a conversation around the needs of mothers in particular, regarding accommodations around pregnancy, breastfeeding and child care and as scandals involving the abuse and harassment of female athletes continue to plague sports globally.

The International Olympic Committee has been working toward achieving more gender equity in terms of athlete quotas and event programming. The IOC was "very deliberate" about working to increase the number of female athletes in 2020, said IOC Sports Director Kit McConnell.

"We got the overall number of athletes down from Rio to Tokyo, but even in getting the overall number down, we increased the number of women's athletes," he said.

For the first time, each team participating will have at least one female and one male athlete, and the 2020 Games will feature new events for women and more mixed-gender teams in an attempt at greater gender equity within sports.

Some events have been dropped for men and added for women in boxing, canoe slalom and rowing, and two more women's teams will compete in water polo in Tokyo than in Rio, for 10 women's teams and 12 men's teams total. In swimming, the 1,500-meter freestyle -- an event only men previously competed in at the Olympics -- has also been added for women.

The five sports debuting at Tokyo -- karate, skateboarding, speed climbing, surfing and three-on-three basketball – will all have women's events.

Tokyo Games will have double the number of mixed-gender events than in 2016, for 18 total, including in archery, shooting, judo, table tennis, track and field, triathlon, swimming and surfing.

Additionally, for the opening ceremony, all Olympic teams are encouraged to have one male and one female athlete carry their country's flag.


*Increased visibility for women's sports

When the games are broadcast, women's events will also have more visibility in the 2020 Games, with a more balanced schedule on the weekends -- including more women's team gold medal events (17) than men's (13) on the last weekend. "It's not just about having the athletes on the field of play, it's also finding the best positions in the schedule to promote those events as well," McConnell said.

The Olympics are a time when women's sports often receive their greatest visibility. "Generally speaking, the coverage of women's sports is very low, and I think the Olympics is often the exception to that," said Sarah Axelson, vice president of advocacy for the Women's Sports Foundation.

Having more women in the Olympics has a "ripple effect," with more investment and equality in other competitions. The Olympics can also create a pathway for professional athletes.

*More room for improvement

Other areas within the Olympics movement are working toward greater gender equality. For Tokyo, the Paralympic Games will have at least 40.5% female athletes, up from 38.6% at Rio in 2016.

Over the past decade, only 10% of accredited coaches at the Olympic Summer and Winter Games were women, according to the IOC. The organization has committed to working with international sports federations and national Olympic committees to have more female coaches.

"That area is a little bit harder for us to directly control," McConnell said, noting that the IOC can set athlete quotas, but the athletes ultimately choose their coaches. "But what we can do is put in place programs and create opportunities from the bottom up to ... develop women's coaches."

The IOC has also been working to improve the representation of women within the organization itself, where women currently make up 33.3% of the IOC executive board and 37.5% of IOC members.

found lump 12-22-10—ilc—er+/pr+/her2—stage iv bone mets—chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex—March 2019-ibrance/aromasin* —Sept 2019-verzenio* —March 2020-xeloda*
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Jul 24, 2021 10:44AM divinemrsm wrote:

A timely story related to our discussion on female musicians:

This weekend, on July 25, Ukrainian conductor Oksana Lyniv will conduct the premiere that opens the renowned Bayreuth Festival in Germany. She will be the first woman to head the international ensemble orchestra at the annual festival at which performances of operas by the 19th-century German composer Richard Wagner are presented.

"The fact that I am a woman does not make the Flying Dutchman score any easier or harder. The fact that I, a woman, can stand at the podium here is perhaps a symbol of our time."


Oksana Lyniv, first female conductor at the Bayreuth Festival: 'A symbol of our time' | DW | 25.06.2021


full article: https://www.dw.com/en/oksana-lyniv-first-female-co...


found lump 12-22-10—ilc—er+/pr+/her2—stage iv bone mets—chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex—March 2019-ibrance/aromasin* —Sept 2019-verzenio* —March 2020-xeloda*
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Jul 24, 2021 12:48PM - edited Jul 24, 2021 12:54PM by minustwo

We were not allowed to wear any kind of pants in public schools. Once a year we had "bermuda day" in high school, and you can believe they checked the lengths. I had "capris" for after school wear but never owned a pair of long pants.

When I went to college in the snow country, I had to walk 2 miles to class through huge snow drifts (because of course my parents didn't think girls needed cars either). We were expected to wear skirts AND nylons (and that's with girdles for those of you who remember). There were a few exceptions, like skiing or horseback riding or dancing in leotards & full tights. My second year I took the bus to Good Will and bought a pair of jeans and cowboy boots and wore them everywhere. Of course I was "shunned" by the "good girls". That was likely the start of my WTH attitude.

Edited w/more detail about girls & cars. Apparently if you had a car and drove it to church or class or wherever - you wouldn't be able to accept the offer of a ride home from that nice boy - that might lead to a date - that might lead to..... (well of course marriage was the only option)

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jul 24, 2021 02:27PM illimae wrote:

Minus, that’s so crazy to me. I wore jeans almost daily in school, walked alone or drove myself later in HS. My parents only suggested that I grow my nails (I was a nail bitter) and have longer hair (I preferred an ear length bob) to be prettier but I ignored all that.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External Local Metastases 5/23/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jul 24, 2021 03:38PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Like minustwo, I was required to wear dresses or skirts well into jr. high school. This was the NYC public school system (PS 97 in the Bronx)in the early 1960’s. When it was cold we were allowed to wear pants under our skirts/dresses to keep warm but we had to remove them once we got to school. Of course by the time I was in 7th grade I was a bit more concerned with fashion and preferred to have my thighs frozen solid as I walked almost a mile to school. Ah, the folly of youth!

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 24, 2021 04:20PM - edited Jul 24, 2021 04:20PM by trishyla

I specifically ran for eighth grade class president on the platform of changing the dress code to allow girls to wear pants and shorts (necessary in hot, hot hot So. Cal.). I threw in a "boys should be able to wear Bermuda shorts" so I could get their votes, too.

It worked. I was elected in a landslide. Did I know how to pander, or what? It took me half the school year and dozens of petitions, but it was finally changed.

For a tomboy like me, it was heaven to get to wear my cords, hang ten tees and my wallabies. Anyone who understands that last sentence is probably old. Like me. 😏

Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/6/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 9/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/4/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right); Reconstruction (Left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (Right): DIEP flap Chemotherapy 8/5/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Jul 24, 2021 04:31PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Clark’s wallabies 💗

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 24, 2021 04:48PM minustwo wrote:

Trishyla - or if not old, at least from California - LOL

I just read a series of reviews about a book that sounds interesting - Girlhood: Essays by Melissa Febos. She is an associate professor in the Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Iowa & it's the first I've heard of her, although she's published a memoir and a previous book of essays. Food for thought.

"These eight hard-hitting essays illuminate the experience of growing up female.... She writes of humiliation, unrequited love, self-hatred, sexual experimentation, drug taking, and violence against women. These are not always easy subjects to read about; nor are the simple to write about without resorting to propaganda or incoherent rage... But Febos takes a 'nuanced approach to the harms that we live with, both those perpetuated upon us and those we walk into with eyes wide open' " (NPR).

"In Girlhood, whether examining adolescent bullying and the etymological roots of the word 'slut' or exploring the evolution of consent against the backdrop of cuddle parties, Febos illuminates how women are conditioned to be complicit in our own exploitation." (Washington Post)

"Every once in awhile a book comes along that feels so definitive, so necessary, that not only do you want to tell everyone to read it now, but you also find yourself wanting to go back in time and tell your younger self that you will one day get to read something that will make your life make some sense." (Oprah Daily)

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jul 24, 2021 05:01PM voraciousreader wrote:

exbrn…ditto Brooklyn

Doctor told me regarding my prognosis that I WASN'T on the Titanic! Hmmm...Really?....Okay! 02/2010 Pure Mucinous Breast Cancer, Oncotype DX 15, Stage 1, Grade 1, 1.8 cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+ 90% /PR+ 70% HER2- (+1)

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