Topic: In Favor of Feminism: Share Your Views

Forum: Bonded by Breast Cancer — For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.

Posted on: Jul 13, 2021 12:13PM - edited Jul 14, 2021 06:48AM by divinemrsm

Posted on: Jul 13, 2021 12:13PM - edited Jul 14, 2021 06:48AM by divinemrsm

divinemrsm wrote:

I'm starting this thread for those of us who support feminism and its beliefs, so we can exchange thoughts, ideas, inspiration, frustrations, personal stories, news stories, famous people stories, memes, book & video recommendations and other matters pertaining to women's equality.

Here's a general definition of feminism: the belief in full social, economic, and political equality and opportunities for all genders. It's about respecting diverse women's experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths, and striving to empower all women to realise their full rights.

[[****Edited to add: The above description is taken from several websites and aligns with my personal view of what feminism means to me. You may have other thoughts. What does feminism mean to you? Please feel free to discuss.]]

Only in the last ten years or so have my eyes been open to the patriarchal world we live in. Since then, I'm continually aware of the many women (including from this forum and also myself) who've been conditioned (by society, religion, family tradition, etc.) to prioritize others before themselves; to take on a "less than" persona, to minimize themselves and their contributions. As women, we need to recognize our value individually and collectively, advocate for ourselves and treat ourselves with the same care and loving-kindness with which we treat others.

Please honor the spirit of the thread. It's not for opposing views. The intention is for those of us with similar views on feminism to have a space to gather, share insights and find support. I feel I will have a lot to contribute. Will you join me?


found lump 12-22-10—ilc—er+/pr+/her2—stage iv bone mets—chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex—March 2019-ibrance/aromasin* —Sept 2019-verzenio* —March 2020-xeloda*
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Jul 14, 2021 11:01AM typhoon wrote:

Illimae - I don't believe that gender by itself was the motivating factor for Biden's decision to focus on getting a female running mate. VPs have traditionally been selected for their potential to bring votes, additional to those the presidential candidate might count on receiving, to the ticket. In the past decade or so, women have proven to be a powerful demographic, almost a bloc, amongst voters. I think Biden's decision to limit his VP search to a woman, and then to select a woman of color, was fundamentally political: to get the votes of as many women as possible, and to raise enthusiasm and (importantly) turn out amongst women of color, especially in the southern states. It really isn't any different from Kennedy's choice of Johnson (to get southern votes), Carter's choice of Mondale (to get the traditional rust belt and northern votes), Reagan's choice of Bush (to get the Bush voting bloc), or Trump's choice of Pence (to get the hardline right-wing Christian and Evangelical voting bloc). The idea of diversifying the presidential ticket was probably personally important to Biden, but he wouldn't have chosen a woman of any race if he and his campaign weren't confident that she could deliver new and additional votes to the ticket - and ultimately, that ability is the primary qualification to be VP.

Dx 10/23/2020, IDC, Both breasts, <1, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-, IHC Surgery 12/1/2020 Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel; Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing; Mastectomy (Right): Nipple Sparing Surgery 12/9/2020 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right); Reconstruction (Left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (Right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 1/1/2021 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 1/14/2021 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jul 14, 2021 11:03AM minustwo wrote:

Mae - so glad you posted to the wrong thread or I wouldn't have found this one.

I may be the oldest person here and will enjoy reading - and posting in the future.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Jul 14, 2021 11:21AM exbrnxgrl wrote:

“Given the millennia of patriarchy, it's too much to expect things to change in a generation or two. We are still in the shock and adjustment phase. I prefer gradual and lasting changes over radicalism, the latter never ends well.“

Erento,

I am in total agreement with your statement. Yes, we all want change to happen quickly but with some exceptions, societal changes are gradual. This doesn’t mean we should try to stop promoting change but this is definitely a marathon, not a sprint.

Khodafez (Farsi/Dari gap (kharf) mezonam),

Caryn aka Karim

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 14, 2021 12:11PM erento wrote:

Salam Caryn! Had to idea Caryn/Karen originated from the word karim, which has its roots in Arabic I believe.

Survived an unexplained sudden cardiac arrest b/w surgery and chemo (while attending a chemo info session at the hospital). Code blue, CPR, induced coma, ICU, ICD. Escaped alive with heart and brain unscathed! Dx 12/8/2014, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 6/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/12/2015 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 3/20/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/23/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin) Radiation Therapy 8/4/2015 Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jul 14, 2021 12:42PM moth wrote:

I wanted to recommend a recent book

Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez.

"Imagine a world where...

· Your phone is too big for your hand

· Your doctor prescribes a drug that is wrong for your body

· In a car accident you are 47% more likely to be injured.

If any of that sounds familiar, chances are you're a woman." more here https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/111/1113605/invisi...

This book is not a radfem book; I think everyone would enjoy it - though it will leave you frustrated and possibly angry


My other reading is more along Sheila Jeffreys books,. Beauty and Misogyny/: Harmful Cultural Practices in the West is a good start I think. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1848724489/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_RCG666MGGVQB1RBYFXGQ


Andrea Dworkin was arguably the most distinctive voice of radical feminism. Any of her books will change your perspective but it's not for everyone. Well who is? I find Dworkin thought provoking but don't agree with her on many things. Here's a good article about Dworkin which I think gives a good idea of what she was about https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/apr/...


I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External Local Metastases 3/3/2021 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 1/1/2022 Trodelvy (sacituzumab govitecan-hziy) Chemotherapy 6/1/2022 Other
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Jul 14, 2021 01:14PM chicagoan wrote:

Interesting to see the spectrum of feminism represented here. Prior to second wave feminism, there was great secrecy and shame attached to breast cancer. I'm glad to be living in this time.

Dx 9/21/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/26/2016 Hormonal Therapy 10/5/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 10/26/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jul 14, 2021 02:55PM olma61 wrote:

I hesitate to call myself a feminist, particularly when I think about some of the positions that travel under that label currently.

HOWEVER - I am old enough to remember when it was called “women’s liberation” and I certainly am grateful for many of the changes those women accomplished.

Imagine not being able to do banking and establish credit in your own name? To be discouraged from pursuing certain careers? I can remember seeing “ Help wanted - MALE and Help Wanted - FEMALE “ in the classified ad section. Was not that long ago, although it was before some of today’s adults were even born.

I took several women’s studies classes in college (not my major, electives) some valuable take aways were -

— learning to be assertive, a big issue that I think many if not most women still struggle with. I could write a whole post just on this. The feminist movement has helped women tremendously to be their own advocates and to not put up passively with abuse, harassment, being assigned the grunt work in the office, etc, etc

— understanding and appreciating my own reproductive anatomy and sexual function.

— that women could organize to bring about needed reforms in law and society. As Chicagoan mentioned, elimination of the shame and stigma around breast cancer, and advocating for better screening, research and treatment is in a large part due to the second wave feminist movement. Today, we feel we have too much “awareness” and yes, it seems to have turned into an industry. But back then, “awareness” and talking openly was a needed step toward improving outcomes.

— eliminating rigid gender roles. A woman who enjoys putting furniture together and doing auto repair and maintenance can also enjoy wearing makeup and high heels...OR NOT! All those things are “woman things” if a woman does them. Boys can play with dolls, girls can play with trucks, etc etc. Funnily enough, I had an aunt who was the “do renovations, fix the car, then get dolled up and go dancing” prototype. I doubt she had any more than a superficial awareness of “women’s lib”. That was just her natural state.

So, I’m not sure that I’m a feminist but I am an independent woman who wants and grants to others the freedom to be who they are. I appreciate many of the accomplishments of those women who came before us.

And briefly, I’ll say that in the political arena and other positions of power - I agree with those who said they prefer candidates being picked for their qualifications rather than gender or other identity markers. I’d prefer a man who is really brilliant, with positions I agree with,over a mediocre woman who is chosen just to score points or fill a quota.

10/30/2017 Xgeva for bone mets 5/31/2018 Taxol finished! "If one just keeps on walking, everything will be all right” - Kierkegaard Dx 8/3/2017, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2+, IHC Targeted Therapy 10/28/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy 10/28/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 10/29/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 5/14/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/29/2019 External Local Metastases 5/29/2019 Radiation therapy: Bone
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Jul 14, 2021 03:00PM flashlight wrote:

MaineJen, " And the ways many people talk on tv and in social media and just out there about our VP, it's all so grotesquely racist and misogynist" So if she was a man it would be okay to say he wasn't doing a great job? I think people are just really disappointed in this huge opportunity she has been given and she isn't doing a great job. That doesn't make me a racist or a woman hater. It is only an opinion.

I agree with ErenTo and basically it is what Illimae was saying. Yes, typhoon you are right! Unfortunately.

Dx 11/15/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes Radiation Therapy Whole breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Jul 14, 2021 03:13PM edj3 wrote:

Moth, the more I read your posts the more I admire you. Full stop.

Tried the tamoxifen, no thanks. Dx 4/9/2019, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Dx 5/6/2019, LCIS, Left, <1cm, 0/1 nodes Surgery 5/6/2019 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 6/2/2019 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 9/23/2019 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jul 14, 2021 03:18PM moth wrote:

edj3 - awww, thank you! fist bump & hugs at you!

I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External Local Metastases 3/3/2021 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 1/1/2022 Trodelvy (sacituzumab govitecan-hziy) Chemotherapy 6/1/2022 Other

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