Jun 21, 2019 09:36PM HikingLady wrote:
Fairydragonfly Thanks for sharing all the context and history. I am glad we have each other to support and listen and contextualize on this site, and this thread.
"Weakly positive ER" is also what I have--I think mine is 14% I would have thought that AI treatment wouldn't matter that much, but my MO was very clear that it has a hugely important part in my treatment plan. Basically, it's a tool, and we need all the tools we can get, I guess is his point.
I know that as I was learning more details about my DX, each additional fact was certainly more clarifying, AND more worrisome, so I truly empathize with your anxiety about all this. On the other hand, it made the path forward quite specific, and there was a reason for each TX choice. That gave me some (just a little, but some!) peace of mind. It helps me that my MO is compassionate and kind, so when he gives difficult news and information, he also throws in a good helping of Hope, which I am happy to hang onto!
I love it that my DH is not full of platitudes and knee-jerk reactions of false comfort. When I share my real fears and my real anxieties, he usually says, "Yes, of course. It's normal for you to feel that way. This is serious stuff. You have every right to be angry/scared/overwhelmed/derailed, etc." My husband has a long career as a hospice nurse and nurse manager. He knows cancer is terrifying, and he knows that my anxiety and terror are justified.
ON THE OTHER HAND, the glass is also half full. I appreciate the fact that even though my DX is serious, so is my TX plan. It's aggressive, and it has a really good shot at working. I'm going forward now, healed and mostly recovered, as the New Me, and walking that weird tightrope between Still Furious That This Happened and Extremely Grateful To Be Alive.