Aug 13, 2018 08:27AM I_Spy wrote:
I know a lot of members who've had recurrences are going to jump in here and let you know what to expect and share experiences with you. I'm currently trying to figure out if I even have a recurrence, so I understand the fear and worry that you're talking about.
You have every right to feel how you're feeling. It's scary, and we face our mortality more than most people. Realistically, everyone is going to die of something, but other people don't have to think about it all the time, right? Quality of life is very important, and I'm not going to lie: I've had thoughts about what I would be willing to put up with as far as side effects from treatment, and what I wouldn't be willing to put up with. So I'm with you.
In Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, she said something that helped me a lot. I will paraphrase here, but she basically said that her patients always want to know when things will get back to the way they were before, when things will go back to normal. And she tells them: things will never be like they were before. It doesn't mean they can't be good; it just means they won't be like they were before. Cancer changes your life. Once I realized that, it was easier to roll with the changes.
And the other thing is that this is just the price of being alive. It sounds like up until now you've continued to have a decent quality of life. Well, that's because you found your cancer and you went through treatment and you got to the other side of it. So you're alive. Now the cancer has come back, and there's nothing to say that you can't get through it again: have the treatment, get to the other side, and have a good quality of life. Staying on top of our health, whether it is finding and treating bc, or diabetes, or heart conditions, is just part of constant willingness to fight against death and staying alive so we can relish the good parts of life.
I had a BMX and it was certainly no walk in the park, but you can handle that or a Uni, whatever you decide. There are a million posts on here about what to bring to the hospital, how to set up your house so you can recover well, etc. etc. I live alone and my brother came for a few days but then I was on my own. I too am independent and I kept my independence. You can do it.
And we'll all be here when you need to talk. :)