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Topic: Narcissistic Mother

Forum: Second or Third Breast Cancer — For those confronting a new primary diagnosis or undergoing treatment.

Posted on: Mar 10, 2019 09:45PM - edited Mar 10, 2019 09:59PM by Rosanne7

Rosanne7 wrote:

I have completed right mastectomy (Feburary 2019) so both natural breasts are gone. This is my second breast cancer recurrence & third new BC onset (combination new primary/opposite breast & recurrence @ prior mastectomy scar site).

Unfortunately, I am unable to cut off contact w/ a narcissistic mother; although managing to limit contact. Now blocking texts ("screaming" at one's daughter via text post-cancer diagnosis is not helpful, or normal.) However, I'm feeling demoralized after speaking w/ her by phone this weekend.... I don't understand why narcissistic women (like my Mom or med onc) -- are able to make me feel worthless, at least for a week or so!?! It's disruptive when there are time-sensitive"treatment windows" for surgery, chemo, etc. --

God, help me find Strength & wisdom to deal w/ upcoming Dr. consults -- medical oncology, radiation oncology. etc.

Unfortunately, the med onc I'm assigned to lies a lot (both verbally & in my medical record) to make herself look good. So I'll need to seek a second opinion... might anyone recommend a good medical oncologist in Manhattan for breast cancer?

I was dx'd w/ co-morbid heart disease (cardiomyopathy) concurrent w/ 1st round breast cancer -- so I'll need someone caring enough to consider overall health & well-being.... not just another robot who automatically prescribes toxic protocol without any actual thought or research.....

Thanks for listening, all !!!

Dx 5/2007, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2007, LCIS, Left, HER2- Dx 8/2011, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+, HER2- Dx 12/2018, Left, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Saline implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Mar 11, 2019 01:54PM KBeee wrote:

I am sorry you are dealing with so much. Any of the large medical centers would probably be a good place to start. Hoping you get a new plan in place soon.

Karen. Dx 8/5/2013, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 8/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 9/19/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 12/11/2013 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 1/22/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 1/28/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Dx 2/2/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/24/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 2/25/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 3, 0/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Chemotherapy 3/30/2015 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/24/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
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Mar 11, 2019 05:02PM YoungTurkNYC wrote:

Rosanne7,

So sorry about your situation with a narcissistic mother. You need to only take care of yourself at this time. It is perfectly acceptable to ignore your mother.

Dx 10/14/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes Dx 10/14/2012, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 10/14/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Surgery 10/25/2012 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/10/2012 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/29/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 7/9/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 7/16/2013 Femara (letrozole)
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Mar 11, 2019 05:37PM Rosanne7 wrote:

Thank you, YoungTurkNY for your kind words !

There's a saying that w/ some people "No good deed goes unpunished." Giving myself "permission" to not caretake my Mom (socially/emotionally) during Easter season will be a good starting gift to myself...

Rosanne7

Dx 5/2007, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2007, LCIS, Left, HER2- Dx 8/2011, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+, HER2- Dx 12/2018, Left, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Saline implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Mar 11, 2019 05:44PM Rosanne7 wrote:

Thanks KBeee,

  • I'm working w/ big hospital & reputable breast center. My oncology surgeon referred me to alternative med onc re. 2nd opinion; however, she's in private practice & doesn't take my insurance. So, the search continues...
  • Psalm 84: 11-12
Dx 5/2007, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2007, LCIS, Left, HER2- Dx 8/2011, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+, HER2- Dx 12/2018, Left, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Saline implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Mar 11, 2019 06:03PM santabarbarian wrote:

Did you give her up for Lent?

(couldn't resist)

pCR after neoadjuvant chemo Dx 7/13/2018, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 8/13/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/27/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/11/2019 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Mar 11, 2019 06:50PM Rosanne7 wrote:

Lol.... good one, Santabarbarian !!!

Dx 5/2007, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2007, LCIS, Left, HER2- Dx 8/2011, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+, HER2- Dx 12/2018, Left, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Saline implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery Lumpectomy: Left

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