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All TopicsForum: IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) → Topic: Stupid comments ....

Topic: Stupid comments ....

Forum: IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) — Just diagnosed, in treatment, or finished treatment for IDC.

Posted on: Feb 15, 2015 06:34PM

RaiderGirl wrote:

I will soon go for more surgery on Feb 27th, admitting diagnosis " undefined probable malignancy left breast"

Once again I had to bear stupid comments as in the first time I was diagnosed.

Stupid comment 1 " Oh we all have cancer cells and have concerns "

I wanted to say 'Ok you take my daily cancer concerns and I'll take yours"

Stupid comment #2 " Why don't you just get mastectomies and be done with it? After all they'll replace them with brand new breasts"

Please share yours. I'd like to believe that these types of comments are not just in my world.

BC is an ugly , painful, scary disease and it can't be made better by wearing a cute little pink T-shirt. When I see a sea of pink in a BC walk I get even madder. Look how many have been hurt by BC and still no closer to a cure than a decade ago. Dx 6/26/2014, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 8/25/2014 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/7/2014 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 13, 2017 03:05PM solfeo wrote:

I got an excellent response from the BS!

The difference in the recurrence risk she quoted of 1% vs. 9% according to MO and Oncotype is that she was referring to local recurrence, and 9% is the distant recurrence risk. It never would have occurred to me that local recurrence was less likely than distant since that's where the cancer lived. Not exactly comforting but clear.

Regarding the cysts, she said yes they are cysts, but not the same kind as the ones I used to get in my breast tissue. She said these often form after mastectomy in women with very large breasts. I'm not sure she can know that with certainty, but she agreed to investigate any future lumps that concern me, and that is enough for me.

All of this could have been resolved before I left her office if she had just let me finish a sentence. Hopefully she learned something since I pointed out that is what she had done. She was apologetic and my confidence level is up as a result.
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/16/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 13, 2017 03:17PM Larkspur wrote:

HoneyBadger: hell, no, you're not wrong to feel annoyed! Your so-called friend who believes in demons and curses sounds like a superstitious headcase.

Dx 1/5/2015, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2/10/2015, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/10/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/13/2015 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/10/2015 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy
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Nov 13, 2017 03:35PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Larkspur, haha thank you! They used to be sane. The Bible quote was fine- the curse part, etc....was not. Especially because the issues I'm dealing with are documented as known risks with chemo I got. Maybe I will call my doctors and see if they can do an exorcism instead of medications. 😀

Solfeo glad you got clarification. Good job advocating for yourself. Maybe she will learn something.

Not sure about you all but cancer has removed my filter and tolarnce level of crap. That isn't really a good thing for me. I will work on it. There is a balance I suppose

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Nov 13, 2017 06:08PM Lula73 wrote:

honeybadger-if your friend offers to take you to her church service, I’d recommend passing on the invitation...

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/3/2018 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 13, 2017 06:12PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Lula

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Nov 13, 2017 06:17PM Tappermom383 wrote:

Pink - so sorry to hear you’ve experienced the “disappearing friends” syndrome. And that “friend” who spread YOUR news - why do people do this? Hope you get your results soon so you can move forward.

Feel free to rant away here!

MJ

Diagnosed at 70 after four excisional biopsies over the course of 47 years. MammaPrint came back Low Risk. DexaScan: osteopenia. Cancer removed was 1.8 cm. Dx 3/23/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/31/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 5/22/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/17/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 13, 2017 09:12PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Honey badger, Thanks :) and so glad you got the "Pox on her" If what I was saying was that we don't get cancer b/c of demons or things we have done there is no evil to it's cause. And then I say a curse on her. It was weird and I couldn't resist. And it was fun. And I miss RaiderGirl too. She only lives about an hour and half north of me. She went back to work life and dropped out.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 09:19PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Scared67. when I said do we have a thread that can help you get through a divorce. I realized a thread I just did to bring forward Bon's bag has everything you need to gather for a divorce. Maybe not everything. But a whole lot of things.

In gathering the info you can tell hubby it's your prepare for a disaster bag. Everything you both need to do a bug out in a disaster. like Harvey and Irma. Just make sure he doesn't get control of any of your info.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/859838?page=1#idx_11


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 09:27PM - edited Nov 13, 2017 09:27PM by sas-schatzi

Solfeo so glad you got a decent reponse from the doc. Yes, if she had just listened................

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 09:28PM Peregrinelady wrote:

You didn't ask her how to break the curse??? Darn, we could all be cured!!! Yes, you should be annoyed. I am, for your sake, that this person reacted this way.
Dx 4/24/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/1/2015 Liquid tamoxifen (Soltamox) Surgery 4/17/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 13, 2017 09:32PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Pink, glad you made her leave. The vanishing friends is a trouble. Then after DH died a few more vanished. I didn't have a big circle. Sucks. I have to find an old thread that may give you some laughs.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 09:43PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Pink, this thread "OMG They Found A Cure For Stupid" is still an active thread. But it's basically a social thread now.

In the first 100 pages it was a hoot. It rivaled Saturday night Live" from the 70's' After + 100 it changed to a different thread b/c the old timers were gone.

Around page 42 a gal posted that "We would all go to hell for making fun of breast cancer. That we were nothing, but a bunch of clacking hens". Well, then the fun got even better.

We wore tin hats. My son came home and said "Mom what's going on, is there anything I need to worry about?" Hahahaha no we are just having fun.

Then one of the gals saw our stuff appearing on social media. There was a flapping of wings and changes in names and avatars. It was very funny. Here's the thread link. I suggest afew pages at a time.

community.breastcancer.org/for...
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 10:46PM Jumpship wrote:

Honey-I believe in the Bible but I am shocked and angered by that post. We get cancer and God doesn't like us? If we don't get cancer that means we are 'blessed' ? My 'Christian' friends in general were the least helpful. Made me feel like I was contagious and condemned. Funny-I don't remember getting that message from the Big Guy. Now I'm hoping for karma

Negative for 16 of 17 gene markers. Positive for NBN-marker of unknown significance. Dx 7/2/2014, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 9/29/2014 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 11/20/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 11/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Nov 13, 2017 11:54PM - edited Nov 13, 2017 11:58PM by Sara536

This Post was deleted by Sara536.
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Nov 14, 2017 01:24AM runor wrote:

HoneyB - I think you're a saint if that comment only annoyed you! It would have made me blow a blood vein!

However, I ABSOLUTELY agree that all breast cancer is caused by demons. It's the truth! Take a pic of your boob and email it to her and ask if she can identify which demon in particular is causing you all that grief and maybe a little 'laying on of hands' might be helpful?

If demons and idiots are kissing cousins, suggest that your friend spritzes a little holy water on herself and see if her head spins around. If it does I hope it's on straight when it's done. Wow. That was ignorant, I don't care what your religious bleifs are. That was a cruel shot.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 14, 2017 09:18AM lala1 wrote:

HoneyBadger---I keep telling people that breast cancer treatment broke my "give-a-shi**er" and I have NO plans to get it fixed! I'm totally ok with the fact that I now tend to tell people exactly what I think (as long as I don't think it'll hurt someone I love in the process). I used to be that person that always tried to please everyone all the time. Not anymore. I take care of myself first and have never felt stronger or happier. I'm a pretty optimistic person and always look for the silver lining in things. Well, I've found my BC silver lining.

Mentor smooth round high profile memory gel implants 600cc (Left); Allergan 10 Moderate Profile 120cc (Right) ; Oncotype 15 Dx 11/27/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/13/2012 Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2013 Surgery 3/26/2013 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Surgery 6/25/2014 Reconstruction (left): Nipple reconstruction Surgery 1/20/2015 Prophylactic ovary removal
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Nov 14, 2017 09:32AM Peregrinelady wrote:

Lala, I am there, too. It is funny to see the look on people's faces when they realize that I am a little more outspoken than I used to be. Sometimes I just want to say, "I have been through a cancer diagnosis. Don't mess with me."
Dx 4/24/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/1/2015 Liquid tamoxifen (Soltamox) Surgery 4/17/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 14, 2017 12:25PM solfeo wrote:

All of the little stuff that used to bother me pre-cancer (and there was a lot!) doesn't seem so important anymore. I care a lot less about what people think of me as well, but the situation with the BS showed me there is still room for improvement.

If I had complained about her interruptions and dismissiveness two years ago things could have been very different all along. I was too worried about her not liking me, and having no other options.
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/16/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 14, 2017 09:26PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Pink, what Sassy says is true. That thread is hilllarious. You have to have a bit of a dry and twisted sense of humor. It is a coping mechanism for a lot of us, after all. I'm grateful I still have a sense of humor. Maybe the page 42 poster doesn't have one. I started reading that thread while I was doing chemo and even as a newbie, I was amused and, in a weird way, it gave me emotional armor to prepare myself for some of the very weird comments people make. I do think most mean well. Some seem to be making a dig.

Sassy I had no idea that happened or I forgot. Maybe I didn't get that far. That makes more sense on the avatar and name changes. That would be great if you could see or get in touch with RaiderGirl again. She may have needed to take a break for a while, like you did. I would have paid money to see your son's face with the tin hats story.

Perigrin, thank you!

Jumpship, yeah, the implying you are "blessed" when you do not have cancer or do not have health issues is what made me boil.

Lala1, sounds like you have reached a good place with a healthy attitude. I would consider myself optimistic most times as, as well. I enjoy a pity party on occasion. This evening was one of them. I suppose, like you and Perigren have described, I have developed quite a bit of candor.

Solfeo, it is funny to think of the little things that got under my skin before. I was really good about not letting things bug me during treatment. Afterwards, I was a bit cranky and no one else may have noticed things bothering me (fat chance) but they were BOTHERING me! Now I know it was the demon attached to me. (sarcasm)

Runor, I know several people have already told you but, girl, you have a way with words! You need to write a book. I will give you a passive-aggressive tool I use to not pop a vein...when I respond with "interesting," I really mean "WTF??" It gives me time to take a breath and decide whether I want to verbally rip out a jugular or if I want to try to show some grace.

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. I appreciate the comments. Nice to have a place where people get it.


.

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Nov 15, 2017 12:21PM solfeo wrote:

I had a good laugh at this: "If demons and idiots are kissing cousins, suggest that your friend spritzes a little holy water on herself and see if her head spins around. If it does I hope it's on straight when it's done."

I need to start carrying around a bottle of holy water with me everywhere I go. I want to be an idiot hunter!
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/16/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 15, 2017 01:49PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Me, too! Runor comes up with some good ones!

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Nov 15, 2017 04:10PM sas-schatzi wrote:

LMAO Solfeo

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 15, 2017 05:13PM EastcoastTS wrote:

I find this thread very humorous (in a sad way), too. And don't we need to laugh about all this with people who, yes, get it!!!

I actually went back and read a bunch of older posts. Some zingers in there. One I recall: someone who said their mom said they got BC because they were a vegetarian! I mean, who says that???

Dx@ 49. Oncotype: 14, BRCA 1/2- Dx 1/4/2017, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/27/2017 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 9/7/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 15, 2017 05:26PM Meowmmy65 wrote:

Skimming through these comments, and surprise but not surprised by how stupid people are.

Newly diagnosed and trying to wrap my head around it (I was already told I was a good candidate for a lumpectomy) and an idiot man at work jumped in with "Just get them both cut off - you don't need them!" I really wanted to say, let's just cut off your penis. You don't need that either... but I restrained myself.

So rude, insensitive - and uninformed!

Dx 8/31/2017, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 11/1/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 11/10/2017 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 12/6/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 12/6/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 2/28/2018 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Radiation Therapy 6/11/2018 Breast
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Nov 15, 2017 05:32PM Meowmmy65 wrote:

sas-schatzi - life is too short to take ourselves seriously. I will enjoy reading the craziness!

Dx 8/31/2017, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 11/1/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 11/10/2017 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 12/6/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 12/6/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 2/28/2018 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Radiation Therapy 6/11/2018 Breast
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Nov 15, 2017 08:18PM - edited Nov 15, 2017 08:20PM by sas-schatzi

Meowmmy, In defense of the man that said that, if you ever have an opportunity to explore why he said that, my guess is he had someone close die of BC and methinks it was horrible. It was a outrageous statement, but he may have been trying to be protective. Then again maybe an ass.

I was going for a prophy BMX when I was dx'd. The doc was on the phone scheduling and he yelled back in the room and said "Are you sure you want both?" I said " Yes, they are time bombs, off with them both" . I remember feeling like the Queen in Alice in Wonderland saying "Off with their heads".

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 16, 2017 11:28AM solfeo wrote:

The one thing my cancer doctors did understand is why I chose to cut off a "healthy" breast. I had so many benign problems my entire life. First breast surgery at age 12 before I even had breasts to speak of. Too many diagnostic procedures and biopsies since then to count. They would never say so but I'm pretty sure the cumulative radiation over a lifetime was a major contributor, if not direct cause, of my BC, because it happened in the most problematic breast.

I didn't think I could live with the anxiety of frequent biopsies after cancer. Then big surprise! I'm still having the damn benign lumps after BMX! That's something I would have liked to know was possible before I had such drastic surgery, but I don't guess it would have changed my mind. I don't have to have diagnostic mammograms anymore, and so far the lumps have been easily identifiable as cysts in US because there is nothing obstructing the view.

The stupid comment part of this story, is that new non-cancer doctors always show their disapproval until I explain the reason why, and I don't think I should have to defend my choice at all. So what if there was no other reason than to remove the ticking time bombs and ease my mind? It's not up to anyone else to decide if it was the best choice for me.
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/16/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 16, 2017 06:34PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Here,here solfeo

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 18, 2017 11:05AM VLH wrote:

Honey Badger, I'm truly dumbstruck that someone thinks that would be helpful. Shocked

Lyn

Dx 5/20/2016, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 7/14/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 7/18/2016, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes Surgery 7/25/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Chemotherapy 10/10/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 9/5/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 18, 2017 02:30PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Thanks, VLH. If I think about, it still ticks me off. I need to completely let it go

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