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All TopicsForum: IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) → Topic: Stupid comments ....

Topic: Stupid comments ....

Forum: IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) — Just diagnosed, in treatment, or finished treatment for IDC.

Posted on: Feb 15, 2015 05:34PM

RaiderGirl wrote:

I will soon go for more surgery on Feb 27th, admitting diagnosis " undefined probable malignancy left breast"

Once again I had to bear stupid comments as in the first time I was diagnosed.

Stupid comment 1 " Oh we all have cancer cells and have concerns "

I wanted to say 'Ok you take my daily cancer concerns and I'll take yours"

Stupid comment #2 " Why don't you just get mastectomies and be done with it? After all they'll replace them with brand new breasts"

Please share yours. I'd like to believe that these types of comments are not just in my world.

BC is an ugly , painful, scary disease and it can't be made better by wearing a cute little pink T-shirt. When I see a sea of pink in a BC walk I get even madder. Look how many have been hurt by BC and still no closer to a cure than a decade ago. Dx 6/26/2014, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 8/26/2014 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/7/2014 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 13, 2017 11:18AM tlfrank wrote:

HoneyBadger47 - You're certainly not wrong for being annoyed. I wouldn't have even been able to generate a response to that. You handled it perfectly.

Surgery 10/2/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 10/9/2017, DCIS, Left, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+ Radiation Therapy 11/12/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 13, 2017 11:21AM sas-schatzi wrote:

Solfeo, I agree


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 11:27AM sas-schatzi wrote:

Solfeo, honeybadger obviously believes what's she saying, but it's awful. Over the years I've met this type in nursing patients They are so hurtful to try and make folks believe it's demons and their fault. A POX on her Hahahah.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 11:34AM - edited Nov 13, 2017 04:18PM by Pink24

I'm glad to have found this thread it's strangely sad yet uplifting yet relatable. I don't have IDC... don't know what I have yet as awaiting results this week.

I've hardly told anyone re my biopsy, scans and surgery (had all ducts removed and some surrounding tissue)I've told my siblings who haven't been supportive... one keeps telling me to eat properly and cut out sugar and sending me cancer prevention YouTube vids, the other keeps discussing it with her in laws instead of me and keeps 'my friend who had BC said...' and the other doesn't even bother texting. The few friends i told vanished on me. I told one 'best friend' and told her to keep it to herself... that night i got messages from a friend saying 'stay stong' 'everything will be ok' 'you can do this' when I asked 'best friend' why did I get this from our friend she said she felt she needed to tell them and not keep it from them hence why told a few of our close friends. I'm so p'd off that they're using this as gossip. I told them how I felt and that it's no one's place to tell people but mine and that i dont want people knowing until I know and get my head around things! They're all annoyed at me now... the cheek! Just glad that I have my Mum who is the best support. It's hard tosee people you have done so much for just vanish. The 'best' friend who told others came to see me once and said jeez one breast is so much smaller now good luck hiding it! Made her leave. People are annoying!

RAnt over sorry

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Nov 13, 2017 12:13PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Tlfrank, thank you. Probably good it was a text so they did not see the confused look on my face.

Solfeo and Sassy thank you, as well.

Sassy, you may not realize it but you made my day with "a POX on her" I used to look at this thread and would laugh every time it was said. I

Knew I missed it but didn't put together it was you! Welcome back. Glad you are back and thank you for all that you do on this site! I have found many of your threads helpful and a great reference.

RaiderGirl, who started this thread has some fabulous comebacks.



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Nov 13, 2017 12:26PM solfeo wrote:

Demons? I don't think I've ever heard that one before. I would reply, "Thank you for saying no more." haha

You are not wrong. That is very annoying.

Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/17/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 13, 2017 02:05PM solfeo wrote:

I got an excellent response from the BS!

The difference in the recurrence risk she quoted of 1% vs. 9% according to MO and Oncotype is that she was referring to local recurrence, and 9% is the distant recurrence risk. It never would have occurred to me that local recurrence was less likely than distant since that's where the cancer lived. Not exactly comforting but clear.

Regarding the cysts, she said yes they are cysts, but not the same kind as the ones I used to get in my breast tissue. She said these often form after mastectomy in women with very large breasts. I'm not sure she can know that with certainty, but she agreed to investigate any future lumps that concern me, and that is enough for me.

All of this could have been resolved before I left her office if she had just let me finish a sentence. Hopefully she learned something since I pointed out that is what she had done. She was apologetic and my confidence level is up as a result.
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/17/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 13, 2017 02:17PM Larkspur wrote:

HoneyBadger: hell, no, you're not wrong to feel annoyed! Your so-called friend who believes in demons and curses sounds like a superstitious headcase.

Dx 1/5/2015, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2/10/2015, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/11/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/13/2015 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/11/2015 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy
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Nov 13, 2017 02:35PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Larkspur, haha thank you! They used to be sane. The Bible quote was fine- the curse part, etc....was not. Especially because the issues I'm dealing with are documented as known risks with chemo I got. Maybe I will call my doctors and see if they can do an exorcism instead of medications. 😀

Solfeo glad you got clarification. Good job advocating for yourself. Maybe she will learn something.

Not sure about you all but cancer has removed my filter and tolarnce level of crap. That isn't really a good thing for me. I will work on it. There is a balance I suppose

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Nov 13, 2017 05:08PM Lula73 wrote:

honeybadger-if your friend offers to take you to her church service, I’d recommend passing on the invitation...

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/4/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 13, 2017 05:12PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Lula

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Nov 13, 2017 05:17PM Tappermom383 wrote:

Pink - so sorry to hear you’ve experienced the “disappearing friends” syndrome. And that “friend” who spread YOUR news - why do people do this? Hope you get your results soon so you can move forward.

Feel free to rant away here!

MJ

Diagnosed at 70 after four excisional biopsies over the course of 47 years. MammaPrint came back Low Risk. DexaScan: osteopenia. Cancer removed was 1.8 cm. Dx 3/23/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/31/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 5/22/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/17/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 13, 2017 08:12PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Honey badger, Thanks :) and so glad you got the "Pox on her" If what I was saying was that we don't get cancer b/c of demons or things we have done there is no evil to it's cause. And then I say a curse on her. It was weird and I couldn't resist. And it was fun. And I miss RaiderGirl too. She only lives about an hour and half north of me. She went back to work life and dropped out.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 08:19PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Scared67. when I said do we have a thread that can help you get through a divorce. I realized a thread I just did to bring forward Bon's bag has everything you need to gather for a divorce. Maybe not everything. But a whole lot of things.

In gathering the info you can tell hubby it's your prepare for a disaster bag. Everything you both need to do a bug out in a disaster. like Harvey and Irma. Just make sure he doesn't get control of any of your info.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/859838?page=1#idx_11


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 08:27PM - edited Nov 13, 2017 08:27PM by sas-schatzi

Solfeo so glad you got a decent reponse from the doc. Yes, if she had just listened................

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 08:28PM Peregrinelady wrote:

You didn't ask her how to break the curse??? Darn, we could all be cured!!! Yes, you should be annoyed. I am, for your sake, that this person reacted this way.
Dx 4/24/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/1/2015 Liquid tamoxifen (Soltamox) Surgery 4/18/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 13, 2017 08:32PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Pink, glad you made her leave. The vanishing friends is a trouble. Then after DH died a few more vanished. I didn't have a big circle. Sucks. I have to find an old thread that may give you some laughs.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 08:43PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Pink, this thread "OMG They Found A Cure For Stupid" is still an active thread. But it's basically a social thread now.

In the first 100 pages it was a hoot. It rivaled Saturday night Live" from the 70's' After + 100 it changed to a different thread b/c the old timers were gone.

Around page 42 a gal posted that "We would all go to hell for making fun of breast cancer. That we were nothing, but a bunch of clacking hens". Well, then the fun got even better.

We wore tin hats. My son came home and said "Mom what's going on, is there anything I need to worry about?" Hahahaha no we are just having fun.

Then one of the gals saw our stuff appearing on social media. There was a flapping of wings and changes in names and avatars. It was very funny. Here's the thread link. I suggest afew pages at a time.

community.breastcancer.org/for...
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 13, 2017 09:46PM Jumpship wrote:

Honey-I believe in the Bible but I am shocked and angered by that post. We get cancer and God doesn't like us? If we don't get cancer that means we are 'blessed' ? My 'Christian' friends in general were the least helpful. Made me feel like I was contagious and condemned. Funny-I don't remember getting that message from the Big Guy. Now I'm hoping for karma

Negative for 16 of 17 gene markers. Positive for NBN-marker of unknown significance. Dx 7/2/2014, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 9/29/2014 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 11/20/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 11/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Nov 13, 2017 10:54PM - edited Nov 13, 2017 10:58PM by Sara536

This Post was deleted by Sara536.
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Nov 14, 2017 12:24AM runor wrote:

HoneyB - I think you're a saint if that comment only annoyed you! It would have made me blow a blood vein!

However, I ABSOLUTELY agree that all breast cancer is caused by demons. It's the truth! Take a pic of your boob and email it to her and ask if she can identify which demon in particular is causing you all that grief and maybe a little 'laying on of hands' might be helpful?

If demons and idiots are kissing cousins, suggest that your friend spritzes a little holy water on herself and see if her head spins around. If it does I hope it's on straight when it's done. Wow. That was ignorant, I don't care what your religious bleifs are. That was a cruel shot.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 14, 2017 08:18AM lala1 wrote:

HoneyBadger---I keep telling people that breast cancer treatment broke my "give-a-shi**er" and I have NO plans to get it fixed! I'm totally ok with the fact that I now tend to tell people exactly what I think (as long as I don't think it'll hurt someone I love in the process). I used to be that person that always tried to please everyone all the time. Not anymore. I take care of myself first and have never felt stronger or happier. I'm a pretty optimistic person and always look for the silver lining in things. Well, I've found my BC silver lining.

Mentor smooth round high profile memory gel implants 600cc (Left); Allergan 10 Moderate Profile 120cc (Right) ; Oncotype 15 Dx 11/27/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/13/2012 Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2013 Surgery 3/26/2013 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Surgery 6/25/2014 Reconstruction (left): Nipple reconstruction Surgery 1/20/2015 Prophylactic ovary removal
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Nov 14, 2017 08:32AM Peregrinelady wrote:

Lala, I am there, too. It is funny to see the look on people's faces when they realize that I am a little more outspoken than I used to be. Sometimes I just want to say, "I have been through a cancer diagnosis. Don't mess with me."
Dx 4/24/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/1/2015 Liquid tamoxifen (Soltamox) Surgery 4/18/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 14, 2017 11:25AM solfeo wrote:

All of the little stuff that used to bother me pre-cancer (and there was a lot!) doesn't seem so important anymore. I care a lot less about what people think of me as well, but the situation with the BS showed me there is still room for improvement.

If I had complained about her interruptions and dismissiveness two years ago things could have been very different all along. I was too worried about her not liking me, and having no other options.
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/17/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 14, 2017 08:26PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Pink, what Sassy says is true. That thread is hilllarious. You have to have a bit of a dry and twisted sense of humor. It is a coping mechanism for a lot of us, after all. I'm grateful I still have a sense of humor. Maybe the page 42 poster doesn't have one. I started reading that thread while I was doing chemo and even as a newbie, I was amused and, in a weird way, it gave me emotional armor to prepare myself for some of the very weird comments people make. I do think most mean well. Some seem to be making a dig.

Sassy I had no idea that happened or I forgot. Maybe I didn't get that far. That makes more sense on the avatar and name changes. That would be great if you could see or get in touch with RaiderGirl again. She may have needed to take a break for a while, like you did. I would have paid money to see your son's face with the tin hats story.

Perigrin, thank you!

Jumpship, yeah, the implying you are "blessed" when you do not have cancer or do not have health issues is what made me boil.

Lala1, sounds like you have reached a good place with a healthy attitude. I would consider myself optimistic most times as, as well. I enjoy a pity party on occasion. This evening was one of them. I suppose, like you and Perigren have described, I have developed quite a bit of candor.

Solfeo, it is funny to think of the little things that got under my skin before. I was really good about not letting things bug me during treatment. Afterwards, I was a bit cranky and no one else may have noticed things bothering me (fat chance) but they were BOTHERING me! Now I know it was the demon attached to me. (sarcasm)

Runor, I know several people have already told you but, girl, you have a way with words! You need to write a book. I will give you a passive-aggressive tool I use to not pop a vein...when I respond with "interesting," I really mean "WTF??" It gives me time to take a breath and decide whether I want to verbally rip out a jugular or if I want to try to show some grace.

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. I appreciate the comments. Nice to have a place where people get it.


.

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Nov 15, 2017 11:21AM solfeo wrote:

I had a good laugh at this: "If demons and idiots are kissing cousins, suggest that your friend spritzes a little holy water on herself and see if her head spins around. If it does I hope it's on straight when it's done."

I need to start carrying around a bottle of holy water with me everywhere I go. I want to be an idiot hunter!
Oncotype 13 Dx 7/31/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/7/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 11/17/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 15, 2017 12:49PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Me, too! Runor comes up with some good ones!

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Nov 15, 2017 03:10PM sas-schatzi wrote:

LMAO Solfeo

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 15, 2017 04:13PM EastcoastTS wrote:

I find this thread very humorous (in a sad way), too. And don't we need to laugh about all this with people who, yes, get it!!!

I actually went back and read a bunch of older posts. Some zingers in there. One I recall: someone who said their mom said they got BC because they were a vegetarian! I mean, who says that???

Dx@ 49. Oncotype: 14, BRCA 1/2- Dx 1/4/2017, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/27/2017 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 9/7/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 15, 2017 04:26PM Meowmmy65 wrote:

Skimming through these comments, and surprise but not surprised by how stupid people are.

Newly diagnosed and trying to wrap my head around it (I was already told I was a good candidate for a lumpectomy) and an idiot man at work jumped in with "Just get them both cut off - you don't need them!" I really wanted to say, let's just cut off your penis. You don't need that either... but I restrained myself.

So rude, insensitive - and uninformed!

Dx 8/31/2017, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 11/2/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 11/10/2017 Lumpectomy: Right Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)

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