We are 219,608 members in 81 forums discussing 155,380 topics.

Help with Abbreviations

Topic: Dating After Recostruction (and CANCER!)

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Sep 28, 2009 01:28PM

elizzim wrote:

Hi friends,

I thought I would start a new topic, since I know there MUST be others like me out there?! I was diagnosed last December (2008), and 2009 was spent in treatment thus far: bilateral MX w/ TE's, chemo, and then exchange to Allergan 410's (Gummies). Facing cancer did one great thing for me: it taught me that I do, really want to experience love again in my life.

I'm a very young 47, single (divorced with 2 beautiful daughters), and faced with the prospect of dating as a completely different, less confident person than I was before I last dated, before BC. It's funny - I managed to stay pretty positive and hopeful through treatment. But ironically, now that it's mostly over (except for tamoxifen for 5 yrs) I feel a kind of sadness - even depression setting in. The fear about my future, the loss of my breasts, the uncertainty about how a man might react to my new breasts - all of this makes me doubt myself and my chance of finding love, even though I've always been a pretty confident woman in that department. I feel as though I shouldn't even put myself out there (with the short hair, reconstuction, etc.), that it would be a miracle to find someone who could feel about me the way men have felt about me in the past.

I know, intellectually, that good men are out there, that love happens to people in the thick of treatment, that I am more than my "looks". But on a gut level, it feels like the wind has been taken out of my sails.

Can anyone relate to this? Where did you begin to search, for those of you that are taking care of children, and don't get out there much? 

Liz Dx 12/9/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Page 1 of 9 (268 results)

Posts 1 - 30 (268 total)

Log in to post a reply

Oct 8, 2009 12:49PM FitChik wrote:

Liz...Please consider that the way you feel now isn't necessarily how you'll feel in six months or a year. You're really still in the thick of it all and it takes quite a bit of time to get acquainted with your new self, to trust your body again, and to know who it is you now are that wants to connect to others, including men. If, in the meantime, you just want to see what's out there, online dating, if not taken too seriously, can be alot of fun. Why don't you create a profile on www.plentyoffish.com and see what comes of it? As the title implies, there ARE plenty of fish. Some are downright psychotic, while others are just fun & funny good ole boys. I say check it out and enjoy!

~Marin

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." ~Nora Ephron
Log in to post a reply

Oct 10, 2009 08:07PM elizzim wrote:

Thanks, Marin. I just found your post and was so happy! I had begun to think that I was alone out here with these issues. I'll check out the site. I just feel so much less whole than I did when I played around online BEFORE cancer. 

Liz Dx 12/9/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Nov 4, 2009 07:32AM nancy258 wrote:

No Liz, I'm with you.  Very nervous about dating and how men will react.  But I just decided I'm going to jump in and try it.  I have surgery scheduled to fix my lumpectomy defect with a bilateral lift at the same time later this month.  In the meantime I've been checking out the possibilities on match.com.  Haven't contacted anyone yet, but I'm making a list of guys that interest me, and as soon as get through the surgery watch out!  I figure the kind of guy I'm looking for will not mind.  If he does, then he's not what I want!  Good luck!

radiation Sept/Oct 2008 Dx 6/18/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Nov 29, 2009 12:31PM jdash wrote:

hi everyone  i havent been on in awhile  i got consumed with work and finding another job after being laid off  ... but i am back and missed everyone  HI Marin XO

i met a great man after i finished my chemo  and reconstruction  he didnt care about any of it and we had a great 2 years together   i began to feel that something was missing and i ended the relationship 5 months ago  i started to do the online dating again and have gone out but not met anyone i felt interested in   ... and have not been intimate with anyone since the breakup   I guess as much as I wish i could say it dosent matter  I still find myself not as confident as i did before bc   BUt i know there are guys out there for us and I am going to find myself another one

keep the faith  it will happen for you

julia

Lean on me when you are not strong- And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on- For it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on... Bill Withers "Lean On Me". Dx 4/22/2006, IDC, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Nov 30, 2009 10:15AM kriserts wrote:

Hi Julia, thanks for your post! Can you answer a couple specific questions?

When you met your old BF, how long was it before you told him about the resonstruction?

How did you bring it up?

Did he have to sit with it for a bit, or was he ok with it right away?

 The reason I'm asking is I recently met someone and was grappling with those questions. It's a weird topic, because if you bring it up, it's like "okay, sex is on the table," and I wasn't sure that it was. But if you don't bring it up, and the relationship progresses, than it seems you could be setting yourself up for a hard fall later. 

In my case I didn't say anything and I'm glad I didn't, because I realized fairly quickly I wasn't that into the guy and the issue was a non-issue. But I'm still nervous about what happens when I meet someone I like a bit more.

 Kristi

Log in to post a reply

Dec 6, 2009 08:09PM jdash wrote:

wow kristi  i really am trying to remember when i brought it up- first date said nothing,  on the advice from a close guy friend on the 2nd date i said nothing... then 3rd date realized we knew alot of the same people- went to his friends birthday party and I walked in and of course someone i knew screamed so loud that she barely recognized me without my wig on !  ugh i couldnt believe it! i thought oh my god everyone just heard that including my date.. so the next morning i sat him down and told him everything and it turned out he never heard my friend say that about my hair... i dont know if i mentioned the reconstruction though - but he was but you are fine now right? and i said yes  and he said that was all that mattered   i couldnt believe it!   i think each time it will be different - i think you did the right thing to wait  and i guess i will wait till i feel comfortable when the situation comes up again   anything else you want to ask me please feel free

julia

Lean on me when you are not strong- And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on- For it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on... Bill Withers "Lean On Me". Dx 4/22/2006, IDC, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Dec 6, 2009 08:39PM Marybe wrote:

      It has been quite awhile since I had my reconstruction..20 years next Nov. ..I did not go through with the entire process, decided I did not want any more surgery and did not need the nipple, but wanted my clothes to look normal.  I was single at the time and was going with someone, but he of course knew what was going on and was fine with it.  We however broke up and then I dated for many years, many different guys.  I for some reason felt compelled to tell them before we ever got to the intimate stage by saying something like Ummm, there is something I have to tell you about myself.....or I am not exactly normal.  But you know it never made a bit of difference to any of them or if it did they sure never let me know. I think they were sort of relieved when I told them, I had had a mastectomy and my breast was reconstucted....like they were expecting me to say I was an ax murderer or had a split personality or something.  I was only "not normal" to myself. None of my relationships ever lasted less than three years and it was always me who broke them off and it had nothing to do with my cancer or reconstruction. If you meet a guy who is worth anything at all it is not going to make a bit of difference to them.  They are going to like and if it goes further love you for the person you are, not your boobs.  I will admit I was very worried at first, felt like I was damaged and my dating years were over, but once you yourself get used to your new self, it won't seem like such an issue. 

Marybe Be you own advocate and keep on your toes. I went from no stage (1990) to Stage lV while under an onco's supervision. Dx 4/1998, IDC, Stage IV, 0/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+
Log in to post a reply

Dec 7, 2009 04:34AM kriserts wrote:

Thanks for your stories! I think there are a lot of generalites surrounding this topic (like, doctors just wave their hands and say 'oh, the right guy will love you anyway') so it's really helpful to hear specifics from women who've actually faced this. Marybe, the comment about the axe murderer/split personality cracked me up--I guess there ARE worse things to find out about someone. : )
Log in to post a reply

Dec 16, 2009 04:39PM ck2day wrote:

I am so glad you posted this question.  I had been frantically searching for some advice and support on this issue since my mastectomy 3 years ago.  I couldn't find any advice for younger single girls who've lost a breast and wanted to begin dating again, and I felt so alone.  I knew I couldn't be the only one facing this dilemma but had so many questions.  What I really wanted to know was how men thought, felt, and reacted to a woman with f...ed up boobs?  What were some of the best and (more importantly), worst experiences women like me have experienced so I could be prepared to handle the worst.  I realize, of course, that a truly good man would not let imperfect breasts keep him from being in love with someone, but might it not keep him from FALLING in love with someone?  Might they try to ACT like it doesn't matter to them while keeping their heart from truly falling?  Most guys don't want to think of themselves as shallow, but if they had the choice they would prefer to fall in love with a woman with breasts they are able to enjoy?  I know how much pleasure I got out of my breasts, so if I had a choice I'm not sure how I would choose.  Might it make them FALL OUT of love if once the relationship becomes intimate they are unable to... ?  

I put myself out there, dated for about 6 months, then fell in love.  I don't know the answer to the above questions because he did fall in love with me, said it didn't bother him that my breasts were messed up, and he definately saw himself as a "good guy," but I could tell the sex became a challenge for him soon after we became intimate and he eventually dumped me. 

I don't know if that was the reason, part of the reason, or what;  I guess I'll never know.  

Log in to post a reply

Dec 19, 2009 01:38AM - edited Dec 19, 2009 01:40AM by Paula7

I do not have cancer. I have "LCIS", which is "lobular carcinoma in situ" or lobular neoplasia. It's considered more  a HIGH risk factor, It often is bilateral, multi-focal. It puts one at such a higher risk, constant state of anxiety that some women opt for PBM, prophylactic double mastectomy. I don't want to do that prophylactically. However, they do want to do an excisional biopsy on me to make sure I don't have cancer because 14% of people discoved to have LCIS on core-needle biopsy turn out to have cancer when they go in there for an excisional. First surgeon said he'd do a lumpectomy and take out and approach it just the same as if I had cancer! I have small breasts and I am single. I am worried about ending up with misshapened breasts and needing reconstruction for lumpectomy because this happens sometimes (insurance would not pay for reeconstruction for lumpectomy, just a mastectomy). And then I read that some small breasted women might want to consider mastectomy instead of lumpectomy because reconstruction can go better with better cosmetic effects  with Mx!! So, all of a sudden even without any known cancer I'm facing all this. So, I probably will just not let them do a lumpectomy on me. But I am curious the effect lumpectomies have had on single women out there, the cosmetic results, hwo they feel, how long if ever it takes for breasts to "normalize" if you're small breasted. B/c I am single I do very much care and worry about my appearance and how this would effect my self-esteem. I worry about taking Mx route too though bc of how it'd effect men and their reaction to be sexual if beautiful new boobs can't very well feel their touch or respond sexually to their touch. I'd think that'd be quite a deterrent--not that they couldn't overcome it but them just knowing they'd like to touch you but can't turn you on--how do you deal with telling them that part or how do THEY deal with that part? I don't know how that works for women, their sex lives in terms of their boobs and role that plays after Mx. I guess after lumpectomy for large breasted women that look fine other than a bit of a scar, it would not be a big deal? Anyway, these are my concerns, great enuf from stopping me from getting a lumpectomy on 86% chance I'm fine, cancer free at this point, and don't need one. Course there's that other 14% chance i have cancer, which isn't insignitifant but I do care about appearance and sex and dating and how it would effect my self-esteem no matter how much I told myself to feel differently. It's a hard topic. I appreciate everyone on line being so open about it because i do think it's so important, such an intimate but so important area that support is very much needed here too. I often think with others playing it down that that's cuz their married and they dont' need to worry as much if happily married, but being sincle makes it different, and harder.---paula--PS: don't want to give impression I"m going to do NOTHINg though. I will closely monitor get frequent screenings, get thermograms done and really do aggressive preventative medicine plan to improve breast health.

Log in to post a reply

Dec 19, 2009 01:45AM Paula7 wrote:

Postscript: Seeing everyone's photos on here, you all look beautiful, so I can see appearance being important (in a positive healthy way, bc you do all look great) and I can see a lot men seeing you all and NOT having a problem. Sandy, I really appreciate your openness and honestly and opening up this sensitive subject giving everyone a forum to discuss with what has to be a big deal for a lot of us. I know it is/would be for me and it scares me, and if I have to do it, I want to find a way to cope and deal and be okay with it somehow. So, thank you for being brave enuf to bring it up.--Paula

Log in to post a reply

Dec 23, 2009 11:35AM - edited Oct 21, 2010 05:36PM by Bigapple09

This Post was deleted by Bigapple09.
Dx 11/2002, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Dec 23, 2009 03:21PM imnyc wrote:

I know...it's almost like a spell : )  Now that I only have one breast, I have determined not to date anyone for the next 3 years... I don't really want to rush my recovery... but that makes city life a lot harder ... I don't even want to watch the SATC sequel because I know I won't be part of the scene for many years LOL  I have experienced the 'disppearing act' too often as soon as the guys know that they can't get intimate with you (and I never got to the point to tell them about my breast surgeries!).

Log in to post a reply

Dec 23, 2009 03:35PM cookiegal wrote:

Keep this in mind, men are simple.

Really. If you are healthy now, some of them don't much care about the deets.

If one boob has sensation and the other doesn't I would let them know. But it can be simple like wear a bra and pull it down on the good side. In many cases they will have fun with the one boob and never even get to the other, if your are "going all the way".

If it is more of a fling, and not a relationship you might even get away with saying play with this one, the other is under the weather.

Obviously in a committed relationship cancer is a big part of your life story. But if you are just looking to "get back on the horse" you may want to keep it simple.

You deserve a cookie!
Log in to post a reply

Dec 23, 2009 04:50PM Bigapple09 wrote:

You're one smart cookie    Wink 

Dx 11/2002, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2009 03:24PM musiclovermom wrote:

LOL This is just what I needed...

I just today got a e mail from a guy for on line dating!

I am still in the reconstruction phase and have been determined to not date until I get my real implants and nipples w/ tattoos. The new year approaching makes me want to have a date this week, but I really don't want to have to hug someone with TE's - it's painful for me & probably him too?

I would love a kiss for the new year but I guess that will have to wait another 12 months... big sigh!

Now throw sex into the mix??? Yikes I will probably be a virgin again by the time I ever get to that!

I am so glad I found this thread - I will add it to my favorites!

Keep asking the questions because I have no idea what to ask!

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Dec 31, 2009 08:25PM Marybe wrote:

  I said this in my earlier post and I will say it again, it really won't make any difference to the guy if he cares for you unless he is just an ignorant shallow person and would you even want someone like that?  It's like that saying Clothes make the man....they really don't....they make you look twice at him, but it's what's inside that counts.  The same goes for breasts....boobs don't make the woman.  I went with quite a few men after my mastectomy and before I got married two years ago and the fact that I had an implant on one side and did not get any sensation out of it, did not make one bit of difference to any of them.  Losing your breast does not have to be the end of dating or a fulfilling sex life.

Marybe Be you own advocate and keep on your toes. I went from no stage (1990) to Stage lV while under an onco's supervision. Dx 4/1998, IDC, Stage IV, 0/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 08:00AM musiclovermom wrote:

right now I have 2 TE's and no potential dates!

I would like to think I would feel confident enough to meet someone, but I have not been out!

Where will I ever meet someone?

I have no clue where to start? Possibly ask my PS if he knows any one? Maybe he will have a cute friend who wants to see his work?

LOL

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 08:33AM Mai605 wrote:

This is such an awesome thread!  Kimberly you are too funny!  I've been doing the online dating thing for awhile, so my pic is the same one I've had on there from a year ago.  I haven't met really anyone I'm even interested it, and of course, woke up this morning and voila.... an email from a really nice looking guy, and more importantly, I really liked his profile!

Here's my issue I'd love to get your thoughts on this.... I know men hate when they see your pic and "it doesn't look like you"..... We all have issues with this right?  Well, my pic here is one from last November, right before my dx... since then I've lost my hair, it's coming back but reeeeeeeeeally short, and have gained about 10 lbs or so (maybe a bit more since the holidays :).  I know it's not a recent pic, but I hate how I look and don't even have a recent pic of myself.  I just had my exchange but am in pain and having complications with capsulary contracture, so on top of having short hair, being overweight my foobs are totally lopsided.

I really agree with you Marybe if a guy likes you none of this stuff will matter.  Most people say I look the same (with a wig), I'm NOT looking for compliments here, just wondering if you think guys are really THAT picky ... do you really think a guy is going to look at me and think, "Hmmmmmmmm, CLEARLY she's gained about, oh, ten pounds"???  I guess it depends on the guy, but I don't want to be guilty of misrepresenting myself.

Diane Dx 4/8/2009, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 1/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 08:55AM musiclovermom wrote:

I have that too but kind of in reverse...

I have lost 40 lbs since I got this cancer crap last july...

TOO much stress and tamoxifen helps with weight loss.

I don't have any good picts to post and no one to take picts of me as I am keeping the dating thing quiet in real life.

every guy wants to see a pict of me! then nothing - not very good for my ego! they see me and pass?

I almost feel like by the time I get my implants and nipples done, I might be worthy of a good picture? possibly even slimmer?

for now I have been chatting on line with a guy from the Bronx who is working in the UK. He is safe enough because he is far away, but all I sent him was my pict from here... not a very clear pict.

Looks attract, but if there is no personality there is nothing. I hope there are men who will get to know the personality first.

Good Personality = fat chick? at least the last time I dated (in 1984) that was what it meant.

YIKES this is so scary!

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 09:05AM cookiegal wrote:

Mai...you are so super pretty.

I lived in MN for 6 years and every time I see that picture I think you look like you should anchor on KARE 11.

You deserve a cookie!
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 09:14AM Mai605 wrote:

No bc definitely does NOTHING for your self esteem Frown.  I had issues before bc in that department, and now, holy moly.  Well good for you that you lost weight, although this sure is a sh&tty way to do that! 

I'm taking tamox and have already lost 10 but have at least 10 to go (yo-yo for me, was about 10 overweight before all this started, gained 15).  I have days where I try to decide which one is better or worse, being overweight, lopsided, or short, short, short hair.... today, it's kind of an toss-up between all three  Surprised

You have a very sweet personality Kim, that really does come through on here, and the right guy will see past all this crap, I really believe that, for all of us.

Diane Dx 4/8/2009, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 1/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 09:44AM musiclovermom wrote:

OMG thank you so much!

I just do not know where to start looking?

I was married for 24 years and now I have no boobs (yet) and not a clue how to meet men!

My children are all out of the house - empty nest!

I am getting new everything this year!

a new house, new boobs, I want a new job & a new man!!!

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 10:57AM thepinkbirdie wrote:

I'd like to add a few things here.

Please do not ever misrepresent yourself in any way (this is not directed at anyone specific here, just in general - Mai605, I don't think 10 pounds is misrepresenting).

Think of it this way... How would you feel if you met a guy online who you thought was physically attractive then met him in person and found that his picture was 20 years old?  Or if he misrepresented himself in any way?

You can continually change your profile picture(s) as things with you change.  You can also update your profile as well.  If you've gone through chemo, lost hair and now it's growing back, maybe you could post photos of the process... i.e. before chemo, during chemo, after chemo and current.

I think if anyone wanted to weed out someone who is not serious, a good way might be to casually mention something like, "oh yeah, that happened to me when I was going through chemo" and then let that conversation evolve.  If it were me, I would try to bring it up as soon as possible.  After all, if the guy can't handle it now, he surely wont be able to handle it after marriage... and marriage is for better or worse and in sickness and in health.

It hurts to get rejected for whatever reason.  But guys get rejected all the time.  Imagine how hard it is for them to ask a girl out and she declines.  It's really no different between the sexes. 

Keep in mind, we are all flawed... and I don't mean "we" as in those of us with breast cancer.  Every guy you meet and go out with is flawed as well.  We, as in everyone in the world, is imperfect and flawed.

How boring it would be if everyone and everything were perfect. 

thepinkbirdie.blogspot.com Dx 6/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 11:14AM musiclovermom wrote:

I don't know how to respond to that one...

I would like to think a man would be somewhat interested in me before I blurt out I had breast cancer. Unless it comes up in conversation somehow, who do you tell and when?

It's not like I am trying to hide anything, just some things aren't meant to be told unless it comes to intmacy? Just meeting someone new - when would it be brought up? Unless I had an appointment and they asked why or where? How does the subject of fake boobs come up?

It's not like I have any prospects in true life right now - but maybe this summer I will? I hope!

I am so open about everything in my life I am sure I will tell right away to avoid rejection later on... 

Might be a good way to weed out the shallow men?

Anyone else have insight?

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 11:50AM Mai605 wrote:

Marie I said I don't ever try to misrepresent myself...

I also noticed in your bio that you're stage 1... I really hate to assume so I'll just ask, did you lose your hair to chemo?  My mouth fell open at the suggestion of posting chemo pics without hair on a dating profile.  Like Kim said, yes we want to be open and honest and upfront about our journey, but there has to be timing.  Throwing it all out there in a profile on a dating site...I'll just shut up now.

I get the whole trying to weed out guys who are not serious.  I also understand that men do not want to date a woman or get involved with a woman if they know they are sick, they want to hear we're better and everything will be fine.  Not quite sure what posting pics of being bald, swollen, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, no color in your skin could possibly accomplish.

Diane Dx 4/8/2009, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 1/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 12:02PM - edited Jan 1, 2010 12:10PM by musiclovermom

THANK YOU!

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE NO MAN WANTS TO DATE A DEFECTIVE WOMAN?

or should I say no man wants to get involed if he knows of it before he gets to know her?

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 12:08PM thepinkbirdie wrote:

Mai605 - I didn't say that you were or ever tried to misrepresent yourself.  I only put that in there because since I used the word "misrepresent", I didn't want you to think it was directed at you.

Yes, I did lose my hair to chemo and I plan to keep it shaved down for a few months even though it has started to grow back.  My profile picture on Facebook is a picture of me "bald" and I would use the same picture on a dating site.  And sometimes I go out in public with my bald head and only one boob.

thepinkbirdie.blogspot.com Dx 6/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 12:13PM musiclovermom wrote:

I certainly did not take your post personally.

It is just something to think about and start conversations.

Thanks for you point of view - everything is helpful!

Very often I find myself thinking "I never thought of it that way" 

Kimberly

Dx 7/21/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2010 12:16PM Mai605 wrote:

Marie - I applaud you for your confidence, this is a bit of a touchy topic with me and I am learning to live with my shortcomings every day, and still feel like the confident person I was before this.  I do believe that there are good men out there who will accept us as we are.  I still strongly believe though that in the beginning men are visual, especially on dating sites... they are (heck we all are) ultimately attracted to a pic first, before anything.  Most importantly, men also want and will be attracted to the woman who is confident and comfortable with themselves... 

Diane Dx 4/8/2009, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 1/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Page 1 of 9 (268 results)