Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer — Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Oct 12, 2014 06:30PM jazzygirl wrote:

BB- I am sorry you may have to move. Do you have family that can give you a space in there home to live until you get back on your feet? It is going to happen too.

Bdavis was here a month or so ago but not seen her since. 

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 12, 2014 07:00PM - edited Oct 12, 2014 07:01PM by melp27

jazzygirl my surgery is actually next Monday...are the expanders as hard as everyone says they are?? That's the bit im dreading..

haven't really been focusing much on relationship until recently before the dcis. I've still got some emotional issues to work out and old ways of thinking to cast away.

Dx 7/25/2011, ILC, Left, 6cm+, Grade 3, 20/24 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/14/2011 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/14/2012 Breast Dx 10/2/2014, DCIS, Right, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/19/2014 Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 6/28/2015 Reconstruction (left): Latissimus dorsi flap, Tissue expander placement Dx 9/2015, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 12, 2014 08:34PM - edited Oct 14, 2014 02:18PM by sandpiper1

This Post was deleted by sandpiper1.
'They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they're all the same' DCIS > than 7cm with extensive comedonecrosis. Dx 4/26/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 12, 2014 11:02PM - edited Oct 14, 2014 02:18PM by sandpiper1

This Post was deleted by sandpiper1.
'They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they're all the same' DCIS > than 7cm with extensive comedonecrosis. Dx 4/26/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 13, 2014 03:03AM grayeyes wrote:

I love hearing how everyone is doing.  Smile

Piper - The life changes you're making sound exciting.  :-)  I'm sure everything will work out.  I'm assuming the "HS guy" is someone who will be interviewing you (?).  If so, good luck with that interview.  I hope the job is exactly what you're looking for.

Melp27 - Welcome back.  :-)  Glad they're catching the BC early for you.  The tissue expanders are very firm, that's for sure.  The first MX, my lymph nodes were taken.  A tissue expander was put into place and filled completely.  It was very uncomfortable at first, but everything loosened up eventually.  The second MX, no lymph nodes were taken, and the feeling was completely different - for example, I had no discomfort at all with that TE.  I hope you'll have no discomfort, too.

Lili - I hope you're fully recovered soon!

Hi, Jazzy and JuneEnerva and Milky - I hope you're both doing well. 

I've been assuming that Bdavis found another boyfriend - maybe she's found "The One" now. 


 

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 13, 2014 02:23PM - edited Nov 2, 2014 08:51AM by sandpiper1

This Post was deleted by sandpiper1.
'They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they're all the same' DCIS > than 7cm with extensive comedonecrosis. Dx 4/26/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 13, 2014 03:04PM Enerva wrote:

hi, I am sorry I need to go back and tread pages I am behind, lots happening. I will post soon 

Just wanted to say I am thinking of all of you. 

Happy thanks giving!!! 

I am ok just crazy busy but promise I ll update soon after I read the post. ;)

Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 13, 2014 07:42PM juneping wrote:

sand - ooh...the date sounds like fun. who knows, and it's always fun to hang out with some old friends. unlike online dating, you know he's not a catfish...Nerdy

i was a little upset last night, sis called and told me my ex reached out to her and asked her how i've been doing. i was bit upset. and thought about all the stuff we went thru. i wanted to pick up the phone and call him to cuss him out, wanted to drop lots of F bombs on him. Devil

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 13, 2014 07:55PM - edited Oct 13, 2014 07:56PM by juneping

BB - we went thru a lot together. and i have put up with a lot of BS from him. though i do think he truly cares and wants to know but i do not want to have anything to do with him right now. he's just too f**ked up. 

i am not gonna lie, on the weekends, when i am not busy i think about him a lot.

how are you??

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 13, 2014 09:07PM grayeyes wrote:

Piper - Oh, I see now.  An old friend from high school?  That's great.  Enjoy the date!  :-)

Enerva - Looking forward to hearing about how things are going for you these days.

June - Good for you in being cautious with your ex.

BB, Jazzy, Milky (wherever you are), and EVERYONE - Have a good night.  :-)

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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