Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer — Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Oct 13, 2014 11:12PM Enerva wrote:

ok, I read a few pages,  welcome to the new ladies. ;)

First I have to tell life my hair is also getting thin and it worries me, I will start taking iron since I know my iron is low.very low and since I am no taking tamoxifen or any other drug I think it must be iron doing the hair loss. 

Ok so work was brutal, it took 3 days to get access setup to the different systems and also I felt the tension from the people staring and a few noisy people asked me a few questions and I just said, yes I was away sick but I am fine now, it's all good and in the past.I left it at that and changed the subject. I did not enjoy been back that is the truth.

My other job is so nice, people are so friendly and easy, even though I am not making money there I feel I wish it was my full time job.

So for now I work 3 days a week then next week it ll be 4 days and in Nov back to full time. I still play the lotto hoping for a way out of the hell job. 

With respect to my sis the biopsy confirm cancer in the new tumor so she ll have to do chemo then surgery no idea why are they using chemo again and not taking the tumor out fast. :(

I also went on a date with the guy I met and had a great time but I made it clear I am too busy know and I rather not start seen someone yet. So not sure I ll see him again. I just feel like I don't really want any man in my life right now.

Well that about all I have been working 3 days downtown and 2 days at my new job. :(

Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 14, 2014 01:08AM - edited Oct 14, 2014 01:12AM by milkyway2

hi ladies had busy time socializing .last week end i had religious celebration.I went to cinema with my friends life will gonna be slow n dull in winters .mid term is next week need to study .oh yes i took one painting class it work like therapy for me.

Enerva i m glad you are back to normal eat well and rest you just had surgery .i think its ok to have a man in life atleast something s better than nothing it will help to feel good about your self .

Lifes wonder.jazzygirl.thankx for remembering me.

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Oct 14, 2014 01:09AM milkyway2 wrote:

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Oct 14, 2014 01:09AM milkyway2 wrote:

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Oct 14, 2014 03:57AM - edited Nov 2, 2014 08:53AM by sandpiper1

This Post was deleted by sandpiper1.
'They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they're all the same' DCIS > than 7cm with extensive comedonecrosis. Dx 4/26/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 14, 2014 08:46AM jazzygirl wrote:

Hi ladies- just a quick pop in to say hi as I get ready for another busy day at work.

Enerva- I am so sorry to hear they found another bc tumor with your sisters tests. Maybe they need to shrink the tumor first before they remove it? That is the way they treated my sister's cancer.

I am also sorry the people at work are so icky too. I think you handled your response perfectly. I work in a culture at my client site that is very nosy and people are always digging for information about what I am up to? I am keeping more tight lipped than ever these days. I hope the other works blooms into something more full time so you can move away from this one you are doing for the cash. Just remember you are doing the old one for some income as you follow your dream to the new one. 

June- how uncomfortable for you sister to be contacted by your ex for info on how you are doing. Do you know what she said to him? I am sure you still think about him too, I bet there were good times even though it may not have ended so well. I really hate being triangulated for info about other people too. If you really want to know how someone is, pick up the phone and call them. 

Milky- glad you are doing well and thank you for sharing your lovely pics. Good luck with the exams!

June- you have lots going on! I hope the document you are working on gets finished up well, and that there is good feedback from your efforts. I am also curious to know where you may relocate as you decide you are ready to start a new chapter. Your son sounds like he is being a challenge and maybe he just needs to go out into the world and find out what his behaviors get him there? I am also glad you spent some time with the family that lost 3 of their children. I think you and they both need that connection.

I am pushing hard to get some things done on this new contract before I head up to the bay area for a professional conference next week. Looking forward to that community and going to be networking for some better work opps in 2015.

Wishing everyone a good Tuesday!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 14, 2014 10:26AM - edited Oct 14, 2014 10:27AM by grayeyes

Enerva & Milky - Thanks for checking in.  :-) 

Enerva - Good for you in being straightforward with your date.  He probably appreciated it, too. 

And maybe your theory is right.  I've always had a problem with low iron levels myself.  I've noticed there are over-the-counter vitamins that support healthy hair growth.  Maybe they're worth a try.

So sorry to hear your sister is still going through this mess.  I hope the chemo works to shrink this new tumor.  She's been through so much already.

Milky - Love the paintings.  It sounds like you've been having fun getting together with friends.  That's great to hear.  :-)

Piper - Good luck with the new job prospect and the date.  :-)

Jazzy - You enjoy your Tuesday, too.  Good luck with everything!

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 14, 2014 02:33PM - edited Nov 2, 2014 08:54AM by sandpiper1

This Post was deleted by sandpiper1.
'They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they're all the same' DCIS > than 7cm with extensive comedonecrosis. Dx 4/26/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 14, 2014 08:20PM juneping wrote:

Hi everyone!! hope everyone is doing well.

jazzy - i don't know what she told him, i just said i don't want to know anything about him.

E - i am so sorry. how is she handling?

BB - how are you doing?

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 14, 2014 10:42PM jazzygirl wrote:

Hi hermit- rough day at work but I got through it. The honeymoon is over. Some of the people I cannot stand reared their ugly heads today. Fortunately I am off and switching gears and doing some entrepreneurial consulting tomorrow as well as personal training, my class, etc. 

June- wise move. I never want to know anything about my ex's even when I run into them and they feel a need to purge themselves of all their goings on, including their women. Save it for someone who cares......

Piper- sent you a PM!

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)

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