Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Nov 19, 2018 06:02PM Enerva wrote:

ah it was thanks giving for all of you .

I forgot, hope you all had a good Turkey dinner?

Canada thanks giving was in October a d I did not celebrate in the sense I did not go to anybody's place where there could be Turkey

I think I only did the thanks giving celebration once at Julie's place years ago when her and her man first got the house together .

Yes I agree I am ok alone. Last thing i need is drama. If I feel like any I just reach my siblings and they can share some drama. My poor country Vzla is ech day worse.

I just can't believe December is almost here I cant help it feeling down this coming month I just hope I ll get busy with my craft so the days go by fast.

Have a great week ladies

Keep positive 2019 will be a better year

Nov 25, 2018 12:42PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hope you had a good holiday greyeyes. I am working thru a tough head cold but did make it to dinner with my friends on Thursday

I am behind on everything right now 😖

Dec 12, 2018 10:21PM ToughCookie101 wrote:

I haven't been on here in too long! How is everyone doing? I am more than a year out of DX (at the age of 33) and just had my second mastectomy with expander placement a week ago. Got the last drain out today. Yessss! I can't wait to have my final implants in and have this crap over. But life is good. :)

Dec 22, 2018 06:21PM grayeyes wrote:

Enerva - Hugs to you, too.  Thanks for checking in.  Hoping for a healthy new year for you, your family, and everyone here.

TCookie - Good luck with everything.  Yes, it's a relief after the final surgery.

Hoping all of you here enjoy the holidays.

Dec 27, 2018 01:06AM grayeyes wrote:

Same to you, Jazzy.  :-)

Aug 13, 2019 07:11PM - edited Aug 13, 2019 07:12PM by Anotherone

yes I dated a little bit. I did not play the cancer card at all - after all why you are on a dating site if you can not date. Mostly I used it as a chatroom though - there were no local people I would be interested in so I was talking to guys who lived miles away. Had an encounter with one of them - with a bald head under a wig and no boob. Was not the most exciting sexual experience of my life, was a bit of a disaster so I thought I better stop dating until I look more normal.

Mind , a disaster was not because I had cancer- I had quite a few of them after as well when I looked and felt normal. It was part of a learning experience about sex and dating. But that first disaster upset me at the time.

If one just dates normally I do not see how dating with cancer is much different from dating while having a young child or dating while changing jobs or whatever other particular circumstances of one are.

Sep 21, 2019 01:13PM Artista928 wrote:

Oh no, sad to hear. Rip :(

Oct 4, 2019 03:22PM Askmissa wrote:

I would see if a Nipple Sparing Mastectomy with Prepectoral Implants is an option for you. I just look like I got a breast augmentation. Very nice outcome. Try going to a university hospital in your state as they have the latest and greatest treatments with the best aesthetic outcomes

Nov 10, 2019 10:25PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hi ladies- this thread sort of waned awhile ago but I pop in from time to time. With respect to dating, I want to just say the whole thing is bit scary after any kind of breast cancer surgery. I ended up with double lumpectomies, and so I just have a bit of scarring and some changes from that. But I really did not feel too comfortable sharing my body with anyone for a long time. It was a good five years after my surgery before that even happened, although I had dabbled with some dating prior to that.

I am not sure how old you are, but I am in my late 50s, and was 52 when I was diagnosed. One thing most of us middle aged types have at this point in life (men and women) is some kind of health issue and often many of us have scars and changes to our bodies as a result of medical care. The person I was with had had a major abdominal surgery and some changes to his body too, so we sort of came together on equal footing. I was nervous to tell him my story, and waited until I was sure I felt enough trust to share what had gone on. He was very kind about everything and although there was not enough commonality for us to be able to stay together for the longer term, I was glad I was with someone kind for that first time jumping back into the pool.

Some women on this thread in the past have been very honest with potential partners and let them know up front about their cancer. There was even a gal here for awhile that started dating someone while she was in the midst of treatment. So the way women handle this with dating runs the gamut. I just encourage you to do what feels right for you. Share early or wait to share, whatever feels best as part of your own healing process.

Good luck. Cancer or not, everyone deserves to have love in their lives.......

Jan 29, 2020 07:05AM Simplicity wrote:

OMG! So nice to see familiar names! I cannot believe all of you are still here! Hey everyone! Been a hot minute. I had to log in to get some information because I am awful at remembering dates.

I hope all are as well as can be. I wish I had time to catch up on every ones life.

Things for me have been upsy downsy, too much life going on since C. One thing after another it seems. And I am in the middle of something HUGE-hence the gathering of dates.

I think of all of you often <3

Feb 16, 2021 08:41PM - edited Feb 16, 2021 09:00PM by Gilliber

Mar 6, 2021 08:52PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Gilliber, don't assume that the cancer/mx had anything to do with his feeling for you. Most if not all women (without C), or men for that matter, have gone through the "just wanna be friends" thing. I have not dated in years, decided I wanted to stay single, but after my BC I did some dating and that was not my experience in fact I was the one doing the rejection.

It is unfortunate this site is not more active so others could chime in and share their experiences.

Mar 20, 2021 01:10PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Simplicity, I was sorry to hear that your relationship with that fella fell apart. As I recall you were having issues with his children accepting you and sharing their father's time and affection. I had thought that would resolve in time. Well for what it is worth he got you through some very tough times. Mine broke up with me via text as I lie in hospital after having my breast lopped off. Ugh...what a guy.

Yes, this forum got me through some dark days. I still email Jazz and don't know if you heard but Enerva passed away. I still think of that sweet girl daily and she remains an inspiration to me.

My last date was over 4 years ago. I had been dating around and was fine as long as I was not interested in a relationship but this one man I really liked. I enjoyed his company immensely, he was sooooo funny and just my type but the closer we got the more scared I became. Apparently i wasn't ready plus there was a lot going on in my life. We left the relationship open ended and when I was ready I would let him know. We texted now and then, I liked to know he was still out there and interested, and I told him once I moved and got all settled in I wanted to have him over for a nice dinner. Guess I waited too long because 6 months later he no longer texted me back. 🤷 Since, I have had absolutely no interest in dating though I do miss male companionship, meaning friendship, but that never works.

So I am going on 8 years since dx and surgery. I am grateful but not the same person I was and not in a good way. I look and feel 1000 years old but blessed to be alive and well. I have become The Crazy Cat Lady. I have adopted one and fostered many. It gives me purpose. 😹

Mar 30, 2021 12:10PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Hello Simplicity. Dragonboating, hah, I joined a BC team. It was suppose to be fun and chill but it wasn't and they would get yelling at me. ☹️ I was paddling as fast as I could but apparently not good enough.Talk about competitive, yikes. Yeah, that little hobby and bonding time with my "sisters" did not play out.

Well for what it is worth, your ex is destined to be alone so no need to log onto FB to periodically check his status.

As for me I am alone but never was lonely until very recently. I guess winter and Covid has taken it's toll and being a recluse shut in has gotten very old. I have never been so anxious for Spring. I just got my first vaccine on Sunday. Yay! but what an ordeal getting an appointment and thereafter was. Not sure I will go back, it was a 4 hour ordeal and hundreds of us were herded like cattle through multiple mile long lines by National Guard personnel. It was all very strange and so much for social distancing. It was seriously bizarre.

Congrats on a grand child and how nice they are staying with you. Ahhhhh...I would love that! My son was dating a nice girl with a young baby. I became very attached to the girl but especially the child. It broke my heart when the relationship fell apart and my poor son was broken. Double whammy. He not only lost the girl but it was the child that was especially hard for him to say good bye to. Well I never wanted to be a Gma but I must admit I fell into the role nicely. I think I would be a good one. Maybe someday.