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Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Nov 19, 2018 06:02PM Enerva wrote:

ah it was thanks giving for all of you .

I forgot, hope you all had a good Turkey dinner?

Canada thanks giving was in October a d I did not celebrate in the sense I did not go to anybody's place where there could be Turkey ThumbsDown

I think I only did the thanks giving celebration once at Julie's place years ago when her and her man first got the house together .

Yes I agree I am ok alone. Last thing i need is drama. If I feel like any I just reach my siblings and they can share some drama. My poor country Vzla is ech day worse.

I just can't believe December is almost here SickTired I cant help it feeling down this coming month I just hope I ll get busy with my craft so the days go by fast.

Have a great week ladies

Keep positive 2019 will be a better year


Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Nov 25, 2018 06:04AM grayeyes wrote:

Hope all of you enjoyed your Thanksgivings, whether you visited friends or simply enjoyed a restful day off.

Enerva - Sorry to hear that your family is still having drama in Venezuela.   It's a beautiful country.  I hope the troubles there are resolved one day soon.

This time of year always makes me feel sad, too.  The days are too short and the nights long, but I'm trying to stay positive here, too, about 2019.

Have a good week!


2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 25, 2018 12:42PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hope you had a good holiday greyeyes. I am working thru a tough head cold but did make it to dinner with my friends on Thursday

I am behind on everything right now 😖

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 26, 2018 05:56AM grayeyes wrote:

Sorry to hear about the head cold, Jazzy.  Hope you feel better soon!  

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 12, 2018 10:21PM ToughCookie101 wrote:

I haven't been on here in too long! How is everyone doing? I am more than a year out of DX (at the age of 33) and just had my second mastectomy with expander placement a week ago. Got the last drain out today. Yessss! I can't wait to have my final implants in and have this crap over. But life is good. :)

Diagnosed at 33 after finding my lump myself. Had dose reductions to rounds 3 and 4 of TC due to ending up febrile neutropenic twice and developing mild neuropathy. After post-op complications I’m back on track for recon. Dx 11/15/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/4/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/6/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Dec 15, 2018 01:14PM Enerva wrote:

hi sorry I haven't been here in a while

Hope all doing well and ready for another year near by.

TCookie hope you are feeling well now a d that the healing part is over for your expander to do its job. Also hope you get the implant soon.

Greyeyes thanks for the words yes Vzla is going through hard times specially now at Christmas but keeping positive that the country will see a light at the end of the tunnel.


Jazz I love all the pictures you share at the garden tread, thanks for sharing

Sending you all a big hug

Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Dec 22, 2018 06:21PM grayeyes wrote:

Enerva - Hugs to you, too.  Thanks for checking in.  Hoping for a healthy new year for you, your family, and everyone here.

TCookie - Good luck with everything.  Yes, it's a relief after the final surgery.

Hoping all of you here enjoy the holidays.

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 22, 2018 07:52PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Blessings to everyone here this holiday season. Best wishes in the new year!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Dec 27, 2018 01:06AM grayeyes wrote:

Same to you, Jazzy.  :-)

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 8, 2019 03:37PM palmetto wrote:

Bump... I'm single, 41, 2 older sons (15 & 20), and am curious about dating with my dx. I was diagnosed in April and have started treatment. Prior to that, I had been pretty active on internet dating sites, and now, I'm not sure how to proceed. I'm very upfront with my diagnosis... it's a helpful tool to use when I want to let a guy down: "Sorry, I'm not dating now, I have cancer!" On the other side, there are some men who don't at all seem phased by my dx. And honestly, these are the guys I have to wonder about. If you are hounding a girl (that you haven't even met yet!) with cancer to go out with you, what does that say about you? Or the dating pool of the town I'm in? Have any of y'all been on the dating scene while undergoing treatment?

Dx 3/27/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 4/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/16/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 10/28/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Aug 13, 2019 07:11PM - edited Aug 13, 2019 07:12PM by Anotherone

yes I dated a little bit. I did not play the cancer card at all - after all why you are on a dating site if you can not date. Mostly I used it as a chatroom though - there were no local people I would be interested in so I was talking to guys who lived miles away. Had an encounter with one of them - with a bald head under a wig and no boob. Was not the most exciting sexual experience of my life, was a bit of a disaster so I thought I better stop dating until I look more normal.

Mind , a disaster was not because I had cancer- I had quite a few of them after as well when I looked and felt normal. It was part of a learning experience about sex and dating. But that first disaster upset me at the time.

If one just dates normally I do not see how dating with cancer is much different from dating while having a young child or dating while changing jobs or whatever other particular circumstances of one are.


Primary in 2006, metastasis 2019. Sorry can lot log in diagnosis and treatment info properly - it gets jumbled. Dx 10/10/2006, IDC, Left, Stage IIIC, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/1/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs Chemotherapy 9/17/2019 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Radiation Therapy External: Chest wall Surgery Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement
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Sep 21, 2019 12:55PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hi there - been away for awhile but wanted to share that Enerva lost her battle last week on 9/11.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Sep 21, 2019 01:13PM Artista928 wrote:

Oh no, sad to hear. Rip :(

Dx'd at 50. Doing it all, all by myself. Stopped Letrozole after 5 weeks. Debilitating se's. Back on Tamox now. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (DUAL) Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/2/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/9/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 2/14/2017 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 3/26/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 9/1/2017 Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant
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Oct 4, 2019 02:42PM TammyKh wrote:

Hi pink sisters.

I'm just curious that how you guys deal with sex while dating or in a relationship?

Dx 10/24/2018, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/10/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2019 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Oct 4, 2019 03:22PM Askmissa wrote:

I would see if a Nipple Sparing Mastectomy with Prepectoral Implants is an option for you. I just look like I got a breast augmentation. Very nice outcome. Try going to a university hospital in your state as they have the latest and greatest treatments with the best aesthetic outcomes

Dx 6/17/2019, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 8/18/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Oct 8, 2019 12:27PM palmetto wrote:

Tammykh, that is what I want to know, too. I've been on dating sites throughout my treatment, but basically just use it as chat space, as I've either been too tired or too uninterested in going out with anyone. Part of that, I know, stems from the fact that I'm scared about how I'll look/ feel after my double mastectomy. I'll be smaller, with even more scars (I already had a keloid beauty down my side from a bus wreck). I've always been comfortable in my skin, so this self-conscious thing is new to me, and I don't like it. I feel like that is going to interfere with my sex life more than anything.

Dx 3/27/2019, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 4/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/16/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 10/28/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Nov 10, 2019 10:25PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hi ladies- this thread sort of waned awhile ago but I pop in from time to time. With respect to dating, I want to just say the whole thing is bit scary after any kind of breast cancer surgery. I ended up with double lumpectomies, and so I just have a bit of scarring and some changes from that. But I really did not feel too comfortable sharing my body with anyone for a long time. It was a good five years after my surgery before that even happened, although I had dabbled with some dating prior to that.

I am not sure how old you are, but I am in my late 50s, and was 52 when I was diagnosed. One thing most of us middle aged types have at this point in life (men and women) is some kind of health issue and often many of us have scars and changes to our bodies as a result of medical care. The person I was with had had a major abdominal surgery and some changes to his body too, so we sort of came together on equal footing. I was nervous to tell him my story, and waited until I was sure I felt enough trust to share what had gone on. He was very kind about everything and although there was not enough commonality for us to be able to stay together for the longer term, I was glad I was with someone kind for that first time jumping back into the pool.

Some women on this thread in the past have been very honest with potential partners and let them know up front about their cancer. There was even a gal here for awhile that started dating someone while she was in the midst of treatment. So the way women handle this with dating runs the gamut. I just encourage you to do what feels right for you. Share early or wait to share, whatever feels best as part of your own healing process.

Good luck. Cancer or not, everyone deserves to have love in their lives.......

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Dec 7, 2019 11:19PM milkyway2 wrote:

hi

I am looking for anybody from Toronto or GTA to meet for tea or coffee.

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