Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer — Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Oct 22, 2014 08:26AM jazzygirl wrote:

Enerva- have a good day at work. The weekend is coming. Do you have another open house this weekend?

Milky- there are a lot of women I know that follow that philosophy of having a relationship with someone without marriage, living together, financial entanglement. If I meet someone, that is exactly what I will do. But for women who have been married and women who want to be married, that is possible. Cancer or no cancer, there are a lot of toads out there.

I am glad you are feeling better and past the headache. Whew!

Time to head down for coffee and pack up so I can check out before the conference begins. Long day ahead and traveling until midnight tonight. I plan to sleep on the plane.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/6/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/24/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 22, 2014 08:33AM Enerva wrote:

good luck jazz. ;) 

Milky that's how it was with me and shawn till my heart got attached to him and he still wants the no commitment love lol

That's why I say if I ever want to go back to that I just call him lol

Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 22, 2014 11:21AM milkyway2 wrote:

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Oct 22, 2014 12:31PM - edited Oct 22, 2014 12:34PM by milkyway2

Bosumblues do you think there is no age to fall in love .you can fall at any age any time.

i feel we crave for love more after bc we need someone to heal the soul.we need someone to ask How are you and what do you want.after taking care of myself all alone .i really want to hear that .

at this point if partner rejects you its a horrible situation but as they say you are much stronger than you think we pick our broken pieces and its ok to cry in washroom or driving .but life is moving on .inner peace is missing.but most important thing is staying healthy to survive drive and do our normal routine work i dont do job but i can imagine its very hard to do 9 to 5 jobs with aches n pains you are all so brave n strong ladies .

Enerva.jazzygirl.bosumblue.juneping everybody stay blessed.Everything will gonna be fine .

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Oct 22, 2014 05:34PM Enerva wrote:

bb I just got to the train now, my shoulders hurt so much N my rad side is so tight N sore, I feel like stress is right on my upper back :( 

Bb, I am glad about the brava I am not supportive on the face job at this time. I feel getting your reconstruction done ll lift your soul. I myself have to tell you I got lots of ripples again on my non rad breast but still I am much happier with the overall results. I feel when I sleep 8 or 9 hours which is almost never I get up with a nice clear face then the lack of sleep and stress creates wrinkles,  in my eyes it makes me sad cuz i know I would never get a face lift that is something I don't plan on doing. I am happy you ll get brava, having your body back ll do the trick ;) 

Hope you are all ok

Sis start chemotherapy pills tmw morning :( so worry about the pain she has and now chemo pills who knows what's next 

I am on the train and my moral is so down I had a useless day at the dump lol

Ok ll post later after I get to relax a little

Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 22, 2014 08:52PM grayeyes wrote:

I fell behind on the conversation here, as usual.  :-(

Enerva - The Xeloda is supposed to be easier on the body than the other methods of chemo.  At least, that's what I'd read years ago when my father had cancer.  Also, immunotherapy was around back then, too, several years ago.  I begged for that treatment, too, for my father.  At the time, it was a new treatment, and the doctors weren't sure about it.

Milky - I hope the headache has gone away.  There seem to be viruses spreading lately that cause headaches.  I was having a strange headache all week, and immediately I thought of cancer, too.  Then other people without BC started telling me about their headaches. 

Enerva - After fat grafting, my irradiated side looked great until the fat settled in/absorbed a bit.  And I have some rippling, too.  I guess that's typical.

I was happy to hear about Piper's date.  Sorry to hear of everyone's troubles at work, though. 

E - You're right to be up front and let guys know exactly what you're looking for.  Good luck to your sister tomorrow.

BB - It's funny how things work out sometimes.  Sounds like things are turning around in your favor now.

 

2011: Left MX w/TE (Ki67: 60%) AC x 4, Taxol x 12, Radiation, Tamoxifen, BRCA2+ Dec. 2012: Right prophylactic MX w/TE, ooph; June 2013: Final exchange; Nov. 2013: Fat grafting; 2014: Arimidex; 2015: Femara REST IN PEACE, MELANIE Dx 11/23/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 22, 2014 11:18PM milkyway2 wrote:

bosumblues good advice thanks for sharing your experiences dont worry feel free to vent anytime.

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Oct 23, 2014 07:30PM jazzygirl wrote:

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/6/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/24/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 23, 2014 08:19PM - edited Oct 23, 2014 08:20PM by juneping

haha...jazzy, thanks for the laughs...

just went to shake shack to have a burger. yum.....work was so stressful.

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 23, 2014 10:09PM jazzygirl wrote:

June- yes, me too today. Got home late last night from my conference, not enough sleep, and in for a high demand day today. Tried to keep my good energy mojo with me from the conference today just the same. I am tired and going to bed early. 

Shake shack sounded yummy!

Milky- like that letter to self. Dear self, you are awesome, love me.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/14/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/6/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/24/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)

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