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Nov 10, 2019 09:25PM
Hi ladies- this thread sort of waned awhile ago but I pop in from time to time. With respect to dating, I want to just say the whole thing is bit scary after any kind of breast cancer surgery. I ended up with double lumpectomies, and so I just have a bit of scarring and some changes from that. But I really did not feel too comfortable sharing my body with anyone for a long time. It was a good five years after my surgery before that even happened, although I had dabbled with some dating prior to that.
I am not sure how old you are, but I am in my late 50s, and was 52 when I was diagnosed. One thing most of us middle aged types have at this point in life (men and women) is some kind of health issue and often many of us have scars and changes to our bodies as a result of medical care. The person I was with had had a major abdominal surgery and some changes to his body too, so we sort of came together on equal footing. I was nervous to tell him my story, and waited until I was sure I felt enough trust to share what had gone on. He was very kind about everything and although there was not enough commonality for us to be able to stay together for the longer term, I was glad I was with someone kind for that first time jumping back into the pool.
Some women on this thread in the past have been very honest with potential partners and let them know up front about their cancer. There was even a gal here for awhile that started dating someone while she was in the midst of treatment. So the way women handle this with dating runs the gamut. I just encourage you to do what feels right for you. Share early or wait to share, whatever feels best as part of your own healing process.
Good luck. Cancer or not, everyone deserves to have love in their lives.......
9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
11/14/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel
11/14/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel
11/14/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right
3/20/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)