May 16, 2017 02:31PM Jazzygirl wrote:
BB- good to hear the lump is not of concern. I hope your check up on the remaining breast goes well with no findings. I am sending you much love around all you are going through right now.
Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.
Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM
I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.
I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.
I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?
Posts 8551 - 8580 (9,339 total)
May 16, 2017 02:31PM Jazzygirl wrote:
BB- good to hear the lump is not of concern. I hope your check up on the remaining breast goes well with no findings. I am sending you much love around all you are going through right now.
May 16, 2017 08:48PM Artista928 wrote:
BB- Glad the lump isn't a concern. Best wishes on the other one's check.
Got the call from the vet. Good news! My bff (best fuzzy friend) UA with culture results came back clean! No more abx for her. One of us done, one more to go! Last night's gauze change was depressing to find yellow again. A day later much less but still see a little yellow. I'm keeping the daily gauzes. While I certainly don't want the implant to come out I don't want to possibly hide a problem like if I go in on Mon and the gauze is clean when let's say it hasn't been most of this week.
Hope everyone is having a good week. Stuff never ends even when you think it is it seems, at least for me. It's nice to have a thread like this to vent about the bad and share good with each other. Great group of people in here.
May 21, 2017 01:32PM Jazzygirl wrote:
Hi ladies- hoping everyone is having a good Sunday. Beautiful day here today! I love the month of May, still cool here sometimes but warm and sunny days with little wind. The gardens are looking so happy!
My old BF from 30 years ago is now making plans to come to visit the area in early July. In continued e-mails with him, I can see he is really wanting to explore if there could be anything more for us in the future. Lots of comments about no pressure, and that I am the one to drive things here. Smart guy. I do think we have to find out and like that he is respecting my need to take things slow.
So this brings up the whole when you do tell someone your cancer story? I don't expect for us to get physical, but also tell myself I don't want a man in my life who cannot do the cancer thing. We all know the stories here about the way men act with this stuff. I am almost to my five years and doing well, but we know the possiblity of later reoccurrence.
And I remind myself to give him credit too, maybe he has had others close to him who have gone through it (or may have had it himself). None of us are young in this story. And if nothing else, this gives me some practice at sharing my story with someone I would think about more seriously.
I am scared and excited at the same time; cautiously optomistic.......
May 21, 2017 02:04PM BBINACT wrote:
Artsta, so how are you healing? Glad u and your critter are reunited.
Jazz, you have such an excellent prognosis I see no reason to bring it up unless you plan to get physical. If you guys are to be close friends you may want to share about what a difficult time you had several years back with some health issues but are doing great now. If he asked more say "I don't really want to go into it just now". Jazz, seriously, you had very early detection, excellent care, you are doing everything right and take excellent care of yourself. Aside from the physical and perhaps some emotional scars, you are healthy. I see no reason to mention the "C" before you are ready.
May 21, 2017 02:53PM Artista928 wrote:
Sounds like fun Jazzy, catching up. And that's what it should be after 30 years is catching up. Since it's been so long of both seeing him and 5 yrs NED the bc thing should flow better as you both go through your timeline of events, if you decide to spill. I don't see a rush on it though unless it's something you want to reveal to get it over with so to speak either to rule out a potential love interest off the bat or as part of sharing of the past 30 years which he should be doing as well.
I would just go with the flow. You'll know when the time is right. And it's almost like who doesn't/hasn't had bc with how prevalent it is. And men get it too. I never knew that until I came here! Everyone knows someone who's been there with bc. If you do reveal and he looks "off" you can always give him a bit of education about it. I'm amazed how many people still think it's an impending death sentence when in fact it's not- and with your stats you are in pretty good shape so to speak in the bc world. Bottom line, just enjoy catching up and have fun. How fun is this after 30 years. Let things flow naturally as you feel comfortable with. Good luck. Look forward to hearing how it goes! :)
May 21, 2017 02:57PM Artista928 wrote:
BB- Not healing fully apparently. :( This past week all but 1 gauze change has shown light yellow coloring/leak. Tomorrow I see the surg. I'll be honest with him about this past week should the gauze be clean on his check like it was last Mon for him. If he's talking taking it out I'm going to see if he's willing to try taking the implant out, washing the area and putting it back in. I forget who said their ps tried this with her little leak, so we'll see. I just have a feeling that almost 3 weeks of this that it's just not going to fully close or stay closed for good on it's own.
Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday. Weather is sunny and warm here in N. Cali which is nice after a streak of cooler weather last week. :)
May 21, 2017 03:10PM BBINACT wrote:
Artista, I have a flap and know nothing about implants but yes, my all means be honest with your surgeon about the discharge. I hate the thought of removing it and reinserting but like I said, I know nothing about implants.
So glad B&B Circus is closings! Good riddens!
May 21, 2017 03:33PM Artista928 wrote:
Agree about the B & B circus closing! I loathe how they treat animals!
May 21, 2017 03:40PM BBINACT wrote:
Artista, someone gave my husband free tickets when our kids were young. I refused to go and an argument ensued. he said I was selfish and it would be great fun for our kids. Ugh....I went and was so disgusted. I remember these sad elephants doing stupid tricks and this beautiful majestic tiger with a ballerina skirt dancing on his back feet. Next creepy husband wanted to do the rodeo but I put my foot down on that one! I loathe animal cruelty for ignorant fool's entertainment.
May 21, 2017 04:35PM Jazzygirl wrote:
Hi ladies- thank you for your input. It is my thought that it is not the right time during the initial visit to talk about the big C, we DO have a lot of catching up to do and did a bit on the phone a few weeks ago but you can imagine there is much to talk about with the amount of time that has passed. I do want to keep this visit light and fun and just not get too heavy.
BB- I like your comment about making some general comments about some health challenges a few years back and that I have been coming through those. You may remember I had the ruptured appendix at the same time as my diagnosis (oh what a year that was) and don't usually have a hard time talking about that part because it was what we call an acute event and it is over. Not like that will return but recovering from that surgery was far worse than anything else for me. The breast cancer stuff on top of it just made things that much harder. But I may not even go there either with that either......
I think of you often and hope things are going okay one day at a time. About the best we can hope for some days. You hanging in there friend?
Artista- my experiences during diagnosis and afterwards with the few people I told were a whole spectrum from people who showed up to ask what they could do, to people who freaked out and one long time friend who was really mean to me. You are very right that most everyone has known someone with cancer, especially breast cancer as it is so prevalent now. I had people tell me I was going to die, and others who quickly dismissed it after treatment telling me I was "done with it." Life has taught me not everyone does the cancer thing. People get scared by it, not everyone has empathy, etc. I am just mindful of the human condition in all this. Many people I know have no idea and they don't need to know, but a partner should know at some point.
Sorry to hear you are still working on healing and hoping the doctor visit goes well this week. Everything takes longer than expected. Also glad to hear your little girl is doing well
I have never been a circus person. I think I went once with my parents as a kid but don't remember liking it and never been since. All the big cats, elephants, etc. will retire now to sanctuaries. I too am glad it is ending.
I was supposed to see my endocrinologist this week but got a call yesterday she is away for a few weeks so I will try again in June. Looking forward to seeing how my A1C is doing, my glucose readings have been super good and lost a few more pounds but it's still a slow thing. Going for my blood work this week and will get the results of that on the portal in advance.
I saw my dermatologist this week and had a good check up there, and she did some liquid nitrogen on a couple resistant spots on my face that have never responded to the laser treatments. Pleased to say that worked and those spots are finally GONE!. My derm also told me she is retiring next month, but she is having her colleague whom I saw once before pick me up in her panel. I told myself to expect to see some of my providers begin to retire soon based on their ages, and so it has begun. My next bc check ups are in late July after my friend's visit.
Enerva and Simplicity- you out there? How about Lilly?
May 22, 2017 12:37PM Enerva wrote:
hi friends. Trying g to catch up .
Jazz I agree with bb. Also I think better not to bring any health issues yet. Unless he brings up the subject. If he does just talk about it high level and don't share the bc yet. See where his intention are going and then decide what to tell ?
I feel sad that I now hide bc but I realizethe fact that o look ok in the outside makes it easy to just leave my bc in the past and only my close friends or close relatives know. Silly but sometimes I wish my relatives did not know .
I am tire of the ? Ate u ok? Have you been to your checkup ? Bla bla bla gets me irritable lol
I have been thinking about my old age to come
Not a good thing .no even sure why . I guess the fact that my sleep is bad my hormones are out of balance my hot flashes are a night mare and my period is gone all of it have been making me feel wierd.
The plants are coming along really good. Looking forward to have a rose bloom soon :)
Bb I got a Canadian shield 49th edition rose plant which I am so excited to see bloom.
And my little golden shadow tree looks so good here is a pic
May 22, 2017 02:43PM Artista928 wrote:
Back from seeing ps.. I'm not infected. The fluid he sees doesn't show infection plus I have 0 symptoms of infection. It's just a little seepage from a small hole that has actually gotten smaller over the past week. I showed him the photos and he said some of it could be sweat. So he decided one last ditch effort try before the next step becomes removal of the implant for 6 months. He numbed the area and carved out the location better so he could do a nice stitch job. I'm to use neosporin and do a dressing change twice a day. He also scripted me Keflex abx prophylactically. He feels it's my radiated breast that's problematic as this thing would have closed if it was the other one. So I see him next Mon. He'll take stitches out in 2-3 weeks. It it didn't work then out it comes. So 3 weeks and I'll know for sure my outcome. He doesn't want to take it out because just opening me up can cause more issues so he's giving this last ditch before calling it.
Thanks for everyone's support and posts. Oh and I did bring up the hydrogen peroxide daily use. Can't remember who gave me the heads up, but thanks! Indeed it can kill good cells so I've stopped that. Soap and water alone it is!
May 22, 2017 02:59PM Enerva wrote:
wow Arista such sllow process ; ( but I am glad no need to epen it back up yet the body sometime needs time to heal yes try to just clean with non alcohol soap it should heal. So 3 more weeks should be enough for him to see if it needs to be open. Wish u heal soon.
Sending u all a big hug.
May 22, 2017 03:06PM BBINACT wrote:
Artista, I pulled on a stray nylon piece of stitch and it left a small hole that oozed for a couple months maybe even 3. It was in a tough spot, right on the hip and clothes would rub and re-open the tiny pin whole wound. I did not mention it before because I was not sure it was the same thing and also because you described it as yellow discharge where mine was clear. Anyway, glad the visit went well.
E, good to hear from you. Glad you are enjoying your terrace garden. What is in the corner of the pic. Is that a butterfly house?
May 22, 2017 03:38PM Jazzygirl wrote:
E- good to hear from you! Yes, I am parking the whole bc discussion now and appreciate your thoughts on this too. I was thinking I am taking my own advice which I have also given here before, wait until you are sure there is more reason to share those kinds of details with someone? Not always easy to talk about, nevermind receive a reaction around. I told myself this morning that given the large amount of time since we were together long ago, it is really like starting over in many respects. I know, you but I don't? I need to make this visit just a fun time for us both!
I get few questions about my bc anymore. Most everyone just thinks I am "done with that/over it". The only ones who get it are those who understand the process/follow ups/living with the what ifs? There is a woman on Hermits that has a great saying to share with people when they ask "check ups all good/no signs of reoccurrence" and then change the subject. You answer the question then move on. I dislike the lectures on what I should be doing to keep it from coming back too.......
Artista- wow that is good news about no infection! I had to use hydrogen peroxide during my internal rads treatments and around the tubes in my boobs. A crazy thing like you cannot imagine, but that was the highest risk around the treatment process. They had me cleaning around the holes with that for awhile. It really does help!
May 22, 2017 05:51PM Lily55 wrote:
I agree with BB Jazzy.......and I don´t think we should ever feel obliged to share this info, just to do it when its right. You are braver than me, I am tearful just thinking about the idea of going anywhere near a man......I long to be held in a lovely spoony hug but then i know I would just dissolve in a heap as the breast they took away was always held when I was spooned in my last relationship.....enjoy..
BB - how are you doing??
May 22, 2017 06:06PM BBINACT wrote:
Lily, I am not good at all but not up to sharing but thanks for asking. I did go to my PCP for an antidepressants and anxiety med. He put me on Zoloft and I will be going back on Wed for a follow up but so far so good. Lily, I feel exactly the same way. I want no man near me but long to be held. I bought a body pillow for the nights when I feel very lonely, anxious and afraid. It actually helps me feel comforted. I know you have a home with lots of animals but my remaining dog is not a cuddler, not that I haven't tried especially lately.
May 22, 2017 06:56PM Jazzygirl wrote:
Hi Lilly- thank you for your insights as well. The more I have thought about this, the more I realize what I would really like right now is to just go out and have some fun. Just the idea of some nice male companionship without the pressure to make it in to anything bigger or more right away. The guy coming to see me is not doing that, he made that clear to me the ball was in my court on that one. So I am going to try to "lighten up" and just find some enjoyable things to do with him while he is here and have a good visit.
There is also another guy here in town I have known for a long time who I think is also interested in me (a friend who knows him tell me he has been for awhile), but seems very shy when we are around one another. He is a good soul too, someone I have always liked and would go out with if he asked. I am going to be an an event on Wednesday where he will be doing a panel discussion and will see what is going on there. The same girlfriend tells me I may need to find a way to let him know I would be open to a date.
And honestly, I have not been looking for any of this to happen. I have slowed down a bit this year again with my work and as a result, other things have floated in. I am not necessarily wanting the complications that come with a relationship, been awhile since I have been in one. But tell myself not to rule out anything. Just enjoy some quality male companionship and the rest will sort out. Some of this is my own anxiety playing out......
BB- I like body pillows too. I hope the medications are helping some......
E- I think too about aging and what that will look like? I have a lot of single friends in the US who talk about buying a communal property where everyone can live and help one another. But you also need to have younger folks/help as you get older. I don't have any good answers on this either. You and I don't have children to help us as we age, but also don't feel many children help their parents these days like we did either? Seems different now....
Where is Simplicity?
May 22, 2017 08:39PM Enerva wrote:
Bb yes it is a butterfly house which I got from a garage sale years ago lol always thinking one day I would have a house with a garden?
Anyway is just on the corner of my rental city balcony lol
I hope the medication they gave you helps.
I am still having hot flashes and insomnia plus other related se from m pause hoping it goes away soon.
Hope somplicity is ok
Jazz I wish you the best luck
I must say sometimes I wish i had a companion to just hang out. But I have no desires for more anymore. Maybe it is the hormones that I have no balance so I can remember last time I missed been with a man. Is as if I am done with all of that.
May 22, 2017 08:50PM Artista928 wrote:
It certainly feels weird with a bit of pain to top it off. My suture is under the breast, not across the middle like some ps's do so I have to be wary of twisting, bending too much, deep breathing and stretching or ouch.
BB- Sorry to hear it's hard for you. Being on anti-depressant is a great idea. I've been on meds for major depression and anxiety for years. If zoloft doesn't work there are others. Just make sure it doesn't interfere with Femara/Letrozole. Pcps aren't psychiatrists and may not know what may interfere with what. Let your MO know you are on it to make sure zoloft is ok.
May 22, 2017 09:15PM - edited May 22, 2017 09:16PM by Enerva
I looked In the internet and there are a bunch of so call natural suplement to help with m pause symptoms so tmw I ll go to the health store to look around I am sick of the hot flashes I feel like I am on chemo all over agan.
Bb I hope you feel better soon. Arista my scars are also under my breasts and yes I know what you mean I still have a kiloide on one side which gets irritable with my bra. Even though my healed years ago it still get red sometimes.
Good night girls hope all sweet dreams I ll take a sleeping pill cuz I can't sleep other wise
May 22, 2017 11:55PM Enerva wrote:
I just took the pill hopefully I ll sleep
Almost mid night here.
And eyes open
May 23, 2017 10:17AM Jazzygirl wrote:
Good morning friends!
E- insomnia is the curse of women without estrogen, but think it plagues many in midlife (meaning men too). Plus you are not technically there yet, but may be there soon. Try melatonin, it really helps with sleep. I try to check with my MO on any suppliments I take to be sure they don't have any contradictions with anything else I am taking to reduce my estrogen. That being said, I know you are not doing those drugs so maybe less of an issue. Mine was okay with melatonin. I hope you got to sleep.
And what you shared about companionship is really what I would like at this point too- girls just wanna have fun.....
Artista- I hope you continue on your path to healing. I have had bouts of anxiety through out my life, often triggered by certain events. It is good to recognize it and think so many women have it.
BB- sending you much love today and wishing easier times for you and the family. Hugs for your mom too!
Hearing more today about the terrible tragedy at the concert in England. You go to a concert for fun, but come away injured, murdered, or completely terrified. I will say I have become more selective about going to large group events, because I feel it can be a magnet for violence of any sort.
May 23, 2017 05:43PM Enerva wrote:
I bought 2 things
Lady from the health store recommend for me to try those which are natural and supposed to help. She seemed very knowledgeable so I bought and now I will see I honestly don't know what is going on with my body anymore. That lady told me stress can play a huge deal with my hormones? And I don't know what to believe anymore . I just need the sleeping under control
Been a leo born in august sleep for me is just the most important part of my day lol so I ll let you all know if I find any change taking this 2 natural medicines.
May 23, 2017 06:16PM BBINACT wrote:
Enerva, just be careful. I could not afford a naturopath so I did tons of research on cancer supplements which I ran my MO and she quickly looked at the list and said "No problem". Came to find out that some of them increased estrogen levels and one was actually associated with BC. Also she approved lifetime steroid injections to my back. I came to find out that being osteopenic and at high risk for osteoporosis because of the ALs, the steroids were a known common SE plus they can interfere with hormone levels. Also my dermatologist put me on a med for post menopausal acne that she and my former MO approved, but in doing my own research I found that it interferes with antigens and a hormone + woman should never be on anything that interferes with hormones and it was very dangerous. I called it to her attention with the scientific studies and she said "hummm...guess you should discontinue". You think after almost 2 years?!?? Glad I looked it up. :(
E, docs know nothing and I suspect an herbal sales clerk knows less. We are unique or "special" and so what applied to most does not apply to us.
May 23, 2017 06:56PM Jazzygirl wrote:
E- I agree with BB, just be sure you know what you are taking and what impacts it can have. If you were ER positive with your cancer, there are things that can be estrogen behaving. I used to take tons of stuff and now just down to a few things for bone health and joint issues.
What helps me the most with better sleep is exercise. Also, no caffeine after 4 p.m. Since you are in school at night, my guess is you could be drinking coffee or related to get through the long day. Watch that too.
Good news on this end is my weight is continuing to drop slowly and blood sugar has been good. Got my blood draw today for my A1C and some other things and will see my endocrionologist in a few weeks. I should see the results on the portal by end of the week.
I also did my personal best today in the pool and swam 70 laps for the first time in 6 years, and before bc came around. This feels huge for me and has been another milestone with showing me how far I have come. Going back to the big pool has been so good for me these past few months.
May 23, 2017 06:59PM Artista928 wrote:
I agree. Unless you are 100% certain supps "natural" or not don't interfere with meds and keeping your estrogen level at minimum, I wouldn't take any of them. Plus they can come with their own se's. I know lots of people who pop "natural" supps and herb capsules think therefore it is natural and can cause no harm. We should all be careful about any supp. We certainly don't want to possibly interfere with remaining cancer free.
May 23, 2017 07:37PM BBINACT wrote:
Yeah E, I spent so much time and money on this stuff and of course I bought in bulk to save money only to throw it all out. Do some homework. Like Artista, now I only take a few vitamins cause I don't eat well. I take C, D3, a multi, (and B complex, B12 and magnesium for neuopathy).
May 23, 2017 08:56PM Enerva wrote:
ok I promise I ll look into it but I am frustrated with feeling sick. Specially at night I love coffee but I only have one in the morning . I make sure no coffee after noon . I will see more about this suplement and see if I feel better after a week if not I will no take it . My strogen is supper low and ya I needed it that way but I must find a balance. I feel really sick these days
May 23, 2017 09:56PM Enerva wrote:
ok sounds good so far what I read about this one