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Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Apr 29, 2018 11:04AM Enerva wrote:

Oh girl if mom was alive I would love to stay with her . But staying at stranger house is a hole different situation which i don't enjoy.

I will speak to my super after my niece is gone she lives on may 15th I don't want him talking to me about it in front of her. Plus don't want to tell him much ether. I will figure out a way.

Remember when Arista stayed at her friend ?

That could be my situation and nah thanks I rather be alone and order take out if I must. Lol


Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Apr 29, 2018 11:30AM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

I understand how you may be more comfortable in your own surroundings. Any chance someone can stay with you there? Well at least have someone come and help out and available for anything you may need. Just tell your apartment that you will be having an operation or a procedure. No need to say anything more than that.

E, why do you not want niece to know about the operation? I did not like to tell my mother when bad things were happening in my world and she would tell me that when I did not tell her things she ends up worrying all the time instead of just when stuff was happening. My kids have tried to shelter me from things and now I feel the same way. I want to know these things and if I feel like they are keeping me I the dark I just worry more than need be and all the time. This operation is a good thing. Why do you feel the need to be so secretive? She does know about your DX, no?

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Apr 29, 2018 12:57PM Jazzygirl wrote:

E- I agree that you should let the super know you will be having a procedure and ask if they can get it done before you go in for your surgery. You won't want them in there banging around when you are recovering.

If you will do your recovery at home, ask for visiting nurses or home health type support. I recouped from my TAH and bc surgery at home without anyone here, but the nurses made sure I was okay.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Apr 29, 2018 11:38PM Enerva wrote:

Oh yes I will defenatly ask the supper tomorrow

I wish it's done this coming weeks.

Nobroken I don't want my family to know about my surgery. I sometimes regreat telling them about my condition. Long history short they just have enough with my sister and they worry a lot now. I am ok alone I have been in this country alone for more years than what I live back home which is so crazy I realiazed I have been independent for a long time and some how got use it and I hate my relatives asking me how I feel every single day lol

Is so hard to move on but it is what it is I guess

Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Apr 30, 2018 09:39AM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, you know best but with any kind of procedure I ALWAYS have a plan and someone knows what is going on, who to call in an emergency and who is responsible for making decisions on my behalf. If I don't want anyone to worry I down play a situation but still they have some information. In the past when someone would ask a question, even if it made me uncomfortable and was extremely personal, I would answer. Today I just say "I don't want to talk about it but everything is good". I find that everyone respects that and push no further.

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Apr 30, 2018 10:14AM juneping wrote:

oh your niece is coming tomorrow...YAY...i am glad to hear the apt is moving along....

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 3, 2018 10:41PM Jazzygirl wrote:

I had to share this with you. The Gathering of Nations was here last weekend where Native Americans come from all over the country to dance. This is one of the most outstanding costumes I have ever seen (and I have seen a lot of them living out here for 20 plus years). Not sure what tribe though.....

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 4, 2018 09:50AM juneping wrote:

i like the fact that he integrated his shoes w his custom and face paint....

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 4, 2018 11:39AM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

I am fascinated with native American's heritage and their cultures. I know little but would love to know more. When I was a very young girl my parents took me to a state park called Jenny Jump. The story as I recall is that her family was scalped and then then young Jenny was chased and ended up jumping from the mountain top to get away. That was the source of many nightmares as a young kid and I was terrified. Today I know much more about the history of our country and they have my utmost respect and admiration. In this part of the country there are a few festivals and Pow Wows but they are not common nor very local but someday I would love to go for the festivities. For a time I was collecting artifacts and antique baskets. They are true works of art. I suspect they have some value today and perhaps I should sell them to raise some cash.

Thanks for sharing the photo Jazz.

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May 4, 2018 12:09PM Jazzygirl wrote:

This photo was taken by me with this hot air balloon that floated over my patio this morning during an early yoga practice. I am lucky to live here!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 7, 2018 05:34PM juneping wrote:

jazzy - how often do you exercise?? it sounds quite frequent to me....my integrative doctor told me to do daily but i have been quite lazy lately.

how do you keep it up?? sometimes i wonder if i lived in a house would help...being so close to the nature...??

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 7, 2018 06:29PM Jazzygirl wrote:

June- I try to exercise with something every day. Walking, swimming, biking, & yoga. I usually have one day a week where I just take a break (my body usually tells me when to rest). Having good places to exercise does help (we have good weather here and it allows you to be outdoors year round). I have a pool that keeps me swimming 2-3 times a week. I do yoga on my patio in the better weather months. It helps with everything (sleep, energy, mood, etc.)

I also do a lot of yard work and with gardening this time of the year. It is quite a work out!

I think living in a city, you can be more limited. Do you belong to a gym? Have you tried yoga?

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 7, 2018 09:35PM - edited May 7, 2018 10:22PM by juneping

i work out from home, i do mostly rebounding. and i like to do it first thing in the morning so i take a long time to get ready to go to work. and if i get up too late...then i'd skip the exercise....

i love swimming....but its just too much work to make it to the pool....

and yoga cause me the lymphedema...i had 35 nodes removed. i also tried the aerobic and my right heel hurt from it.....i tried a couple of different exercises...so far rebounding is the way to go.

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 8, 2018 11:46AM Jazzygirl wrote:

June- I just learned recently about the rebounding thing from a friend who also has L. She really likes it too. No wonder you have a problem with the L, given the amount of nodes removed friend. Sound like yoga is out for you now too.

There were a lot of things I could not do after cancer for any number of reasons. I found swimming to be one of the best things because I could actually do a longer work out without pain. I had a lot of problems with my feet on the AIs, so longer walks, hikes, working on elliptical at the gym, etc. were all out. Short walks, yoga and swimming all worked for a long time. Exercise helped with my joint stiffness on the meds too.

I started biking again last after I changed the type of bike I ride, so I had something more stable. I was worried about falling off my regular trail bike (osteopenic bones) and got something more stable where I can put my feet right down when I stop. I call it my "old lady bike" (photo below), but love it and ride more often now.

What is best about swimming for me is being able to do longer work outs for fitness and calorie burning. I dropped 20 of my 30 lbs I have lost to date going back to the Olympic pool last year. Swimming allows me to build overall strength, plus I lost a lot of weight ramping up on my swimming last year. I have fallen off lately (some asthma issues that are now better), but working to get back to 3 days a week and started swimming early morning again as of today. We have a great city pool near me that is really cost effective and that gives me 3 different options for swimming each day (early morning, noon time and evening).

It does take time on each side to get ready to get in and out of the pool though. I reduce my time going in by putting my suit on under my clothes, so I am in the water quickly, and then just have to dress after. I swim 60-80 laps when I do work out (which is around a mile-ish at 70). I am thinking of competing in the summer senior Olympics this year, but will have to reg by this month and begin training for it (late July).

I think the important thing about exercise I have always found is that you have to find what works and keep it in your schedule to do regularly. I just find my overall health is better with exercise, my strength and mobility are better too. I sleep better at night as well.

Hope this helps!



Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 8, 2018 10:10PM juneping wrote:

jazzy, i love the feeling after exercise...but just been having a hard time getting to do it. i think when i am a bit depressed, i tend not feeling like to do it. i just need to get myself up early enough to go thru the routine.

i love that bike's color, so summery....i was going to get one so i could do my weekend shopping with it. but my building doesn't have a bike space for me...and my place is too small to store one in....


juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 9, 2018 06:44AM Jazzygirl wrote:

June- thanks for the compliments on the bike. I used to do a bit more hard core mountain biking here and had this really beautiful high end bike (a Gary Fisher) I got around 2000 that was in mint condition and traded it in towards this one. It was hard to let go of the other bike because I really loved it, and perhaps because I was letting go of something I really enjoyed for awhile too (mountain biking). I am hoping to take my first ride tonight!

Temps here are getting hot already, and hit the low 90s yesterday. The past week was just perfect weather but now seeing the move up, not looking forward to the summer here. We have been 40 days plus without significant rain and are worried.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 13, 2018 03:17PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there on the thread, active or just stopping by......

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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18 hours ago Enerva wrote:

hi friends

Jazz I saw the flower in the gardening tread how beautiful thanks for sharing

I made two little dogs for a lady who asked me for specific ones lol see pictures below

No sure the are great but they are similar to what she showed me in a picture lol


2 more days and I ll be on the table again.

I am a bit nervous. I think is cuz I already regret having my ovaries out. Hope one day I ll be ok with my decision but as of right now I wish I didn't have to.SickTired

Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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16 hours ago Jazzygirl wrote:

E- just keep breathing. I had my ovaries out and am doing fine. It just all helps to keep the estrogen down, which unfortunately, creates problems for us with the bc stuff. Just expect you might feel something after they come out though as it can be a bit of a shock to your system with the drop in hormones. I was sobbing in the hospital, and the week I got home but won't say that was probably not from a whole lot of things.

Here is today's bloom!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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14 hours ago Enerva wrote:

jazz thanks for sharing

I am so nervous about this surgery but I know I am in good hands plus I got the power of attorney done so if anything goes wrong they ll know what to do.

I named my friend enzo in charge of any crazy decition lol

My family in vzla won't know anything

I am done sharing my situation. I ll email you girls as soon as I can on Wednesday

Today is a holiday here so all is close. Tomorrow I'll get some things done like I ll pick up the cd from my Bonne scan at the hospital also ll pass by school to request my certificate which I ll receive this October.

Also I ll make soups and some food to have fir the week ahead

Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)

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