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All TopicsForum: Singles With Breast Cancer → Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Posts 7141 - 7170 (7,170 total)

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Dec 8, 2017 10:16AM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, so surprised that a medical issue is not taken into consideration.

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Dec 8, 2017 06:00PM Jazzygirl wrote:

E- my sister and her partner are okay. They had a close call on the freeway with two fires that erupted on Tuesday in the LA area. They were heading north on a trip to San Fran and the fires came down along the 405.

I don't know if any of you saw this video that has been on the news or FB but this what people were dealing with early this week including my sister. The fires are moving an acre a second so if it comes across the freeway, there is no chance of outrunning it. They were terrified. But they got turned around, home and are glad to be so. There are five or six more fires as of today, four around the LA area, and one in San Diego. The fires in CA this year are horrific. I am glad they are safe, I was terrified when they called me and told me what was happening.



Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 8, 2017 06:15PM Enerva wrote:

ah well school finally gave in and said I can do the test on Jan 13th so I took that

I will have some xtra time to study lol

I finish the day and I am so exhausted so glad all ll ve over soon.

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 10, 2017 01:21PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Good morning friends- I did a bucket list thing yesterday for the holiday season to visit some of the ruins up in the mountains where they do this magical lighting. I went to a lovely concert at a church before hand as well.

These missions were common here in the 1500s when the Spanish conquistadors came up from Mexico as they were in the new world looking for gold. They established these missions to convert the Native Amercians to Catholism (many here embrace both their native traditions as well as the catholic church today).

At dusk, the luminaries that are basically paper bags with sand on the bottom and little tea lights light up around the ruins.

I hope you enjoy these photos!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 10, 2017 02:08PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Thanks for sharing your latest adventure. Fun! Reminds me of ruins I have seen in the past which I have long forgotten.

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Dec 10, 2017 06:00PM juneping wrote:

omg, the fire was crazy. So many fires in CA this year. What’s going on??!

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 10, 2017 06:11PM Jazzygirl wrote:

June- the west has been very dry this fall. We have had no moisture now in two months in my city, although parts of NM are getting some snow now. Same for CA, very dry. We came out of a drought, only to go back in to one. CA has these very high winds and that is when things get bad out there. Jerry Brown (CA gov) says this will be the new normal for CA, fire fighting to through the Xmas holidays. Very sad.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 10, 2017 07:00PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

At least the loss of life is minimal. To date I have only heard of one fatality and that from a car accident trying to flee. Think of the loss of the wildlife though. As you may know I am a bleeding heart for animals. Yes, this time of year tragedies seem all the more crueler.

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Dec 11, 2017 12:25PM Enerva wrote:

omg j just lost my post :(

So just wanted to say me too I feel terrible about the wild animas in those fires ....

Also 2 more days for my surgery .feel like a nightmare which ll finaly end soon.

I am nervous and ancious. Just want to have it done. I went to the library testerday and Saturday .still disappointed I can no do the exam today but I guess I ll have more chance to study.

Also not broken I wanted to show u something I am making now.

Found these ideas in pinterest

And then I had 3 dish holders no sure what you call those were u place hot dishes in our tables?

Anyway I decided to paint owls on it and looks cute do far.

Here are the ones from pinterest which are made with wood and stones to decorate walls.



I ll post now mine separate cuz don't want to lose thus post again

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 11, 2017 12:34PM Enerva wrote:

here the ones I am making SillyHeart







Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 11, 2017 01:23PM Jazzygirl wrote:

E- best wishes for your surgery this week. We will be in your pocket Heart

I love your crafty ways. My mother was so good at things like that, but not me. The owls are lovely!


Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 11, 2017 02:11PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, yes, best of luck with the surgery. And you will have help for after care?

I use to be so artsy and crafty but not now. I just pulled an old vintage snow shovel out of someone's trash and thought I would make a fabric bow, add some greens and hang my vintage ice skates that are packed somewhere, for outside my front door and then thought "Nah" and just threw it back in my trash. As for me I am suffocating with years of accumulation but you are in a different place and your projects are darling and so glad you are enjoying. I love to see you doing fun stuff.

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Dec 11, 2017 05:26PM Enerva wrote:

hI girls my friend margarita will pick me up cuz the hospital won't let me go home alone. But tomw I plan to make 2 different soups and buy Fruits yogurt and things I may feel like eating all I need is my pain killers hoping I can get those the day of the surgery and then my bed I don't really need anyone after my surgery I can manage alone if I have food to warm up and fruits I ll be ok.

Notbroken I love crafts but I am like you I have no space and I always give away what ever I make :(

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 11, 2017 05:53PM - edited Dec 11, 2017 05:54PM by NotBrokenJustBent

E, I will send you some picks of my art. I had fun and at one point I was in several galleries and did amazing well in a competitive market. Ugh...a friend was here today and she was a huge fan and encouraged me to make the spare bedroom into a studio. That is not my heart anymore and my art was simple and pure. I would be afraid of what might spur out. I will send and I am sure you will get me, or who I was.

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Dec 12, 2017 11:19AM Enerva wrote:

not broken you should do a little art. I use it to help me when I am felling down . Or stress which is very often. Right now I am getting ready to go downtown for my pre op appointment. After that I ll come home and get the car to go grocery shopping

I need to buy water and fruit and vegetable to have for after surgery.

Snow is on the ground now and I feel not so great about it. My appointment is at 2:30pm and only after 12 I ll be able to call and have the time of the surgery. I watch a few videos last night on people who had it done and I am getting ancious better to just wait until and take it 1 day at the time.

I am still disappointed at not been able to do my exam tomw I fear by Jan 13 my memory will be gone of all I have study. No easy to review when sick but I ll try

Sending you hugs I ll post later from the hospital.

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 12, 2017 01:23PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, I am thinking of you. Just think how good this will feel to have this behind you.

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Dec 12, 2017 06:46PM Jazzygirl wrote:

E- I hope the pre-op apt went well today and you have enough food for your settling in tomorrow after the procedure.

We will be in your pocket and as Bent says, this will be good to have behind you.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 13, 2017 09:13AM juneping wrote:

E - thinking of you. GL!!

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 13, 2017 12:44PM - edited Dec 13, 2017 09:21PM by Enerva

This Post was deleted by Enerva.
Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 13, 2017 02:02PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Oh E,.....I have no words but I just feel sick. I can't even begin to comprehend what you are going thru. Post when you are up to it. I am very worried about you.

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Dec 13, 2017 03:05PM juneping wrote:

E...i am so sorry to hear this. did they remove the mass? or they just opened and closed and did nothing else??

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 13, 2017 06:06PM - edited Dec 13, 2017 09:20PM by Enerva

This Post was deleted by Enerva.
Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 13, 2017 07:38PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, you have so little information and as we know that makes everything worse. I just hope you can get in ASAP to get your scans and doctor appointments so you can get your answers and a plan. The shock of it all and the lack of info must be unbearable just now. :(

Any chance this friend of yours can make it to any of the doctor appointments? I hate you going it alone again. :(

Hope you can get some sleep. Don't hesitate to get some anxiety meds if needed.

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Dec 13, 2017 08:19PM - edited Dec 13, 2017 09:18PM by Enerva

This Post was deleted by Enerva.
Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 13, 2017 09:08PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Get your rest.

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Dec 13, 2017 09:24PM - edited Dec 14, 2017 12:14PM by Enerva

This Post was deleted by Enerva.
Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Dec 13, 2017 09:31PM NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

E, I will send you my email. I don't have yours anymore and mine has changed.

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Dec 14, 2017 12:13PM Enerva wrote:

hi friends I sent you both an email.

June please pm your email so I can update you.

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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6 hours ago Enerva wrote:

hi friends

Well is just another day. I did some painting and wanted to show you all. I think I ll give them as xmast gift to some folks who have a vegetable garden and always give me lots


Jazz thanks for finding the other tread.

Lots of information there.

I will keep you all in my thoughts this coming days

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/21/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/31/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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2 hours ago NotBrokenJustBent wrote:

Love you E.

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