Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer — Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Jul 4, 2018 08:16PM ToughCookie101 wrote:

I'm done chemo! I'm glad I finished. Part of me wishes I had the full dose, but my MO wouldn't have let me continue at the full dose. He even cautioned me about doing round 3. I did what I could, and I am so thankful he worked with me to find a balance that didn't kill me, tried to not leave me with lasting damage, yet let me finish all rounds. As I've been told, the MO's job is to kill the cancer not the patient. :) This round still knocked me off my feet, and I am slowly recovering. Upwards and onwards!

Diagnosed at 33 after finding my lump myself. Dx 11/15/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/4/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/6/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/17/2018 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 4/1/2019 Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 4, 2018 09:38PM jazzygirl wrote:

ToughCookie- congrats on being done with chemo. Do you have any other treatment to complete or is this it? Feeling better after all this takes WAY LONGER than you may expect so be patient with yourself. You will have more good days than bad with time. The docs are really good about knowing how much you can tolerate and it sounds like yours was on top of it.

Hoping you are feeling a bit better every day going forward!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jul 11, 2018 05:31PM ToughCookie101 wrote:

Thanks Jazzy! My MO is great! I have 5-10 years of Tamoxifen, Zoladex (injection every three months) and Zometa (infusion every six months for three years) as my MO like some the results of the ABCSG12 which combine all these in premenopausal hormone positive breast cancer patient said.

Diagnosed at 33 after finding my lump myself. Dx 11/15/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/4/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/6/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/17/2018 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 4/1/2019 Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 11, 2018 05:43PM ToughCookie101 wrote:

I have a couple more surgeries too, including a prophylactic mastect

Diagnosed at 33 after finding my lump myself. Dx 11/15/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/4/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/6/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/17/2018 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 4/1/2019 Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 11, 2018 08:40PM jazzygirl wrote:

Tough Cookie- you keep going strong sister. When is your next surgery or maybe not planned yet?

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jul 25, 2018 05:47PM - edited Jul 25, 2018 05:50PM by jinx27

Funny dating story,

I usually tell guys about the whole cancer thing at the first or second date. Last month I told of my date about it after he parked in front of my home to drop me off. He couldnt stop looking at my top after that lol. So I said to myself you know what just show him.

I honestly dont know what came over me but I wanted to let him know I was still human with a few cuts and scars. So I showed him my breasts in a non sexual way. He was amazed. To bad we didnt work out lol He got a free show lol

Sending love to everyone here. We will find love!!

I had a double mx with reconstruction and I love my breasts, make sure you go over all of your surgery options. You want them to look their best.

Diagnosed at 27 y/o, synchronous bilateral breast cancer. L. Breast : IDC, R. Breast: DCIS. ER 98%, PR 100% Possible mutation. 5-10 yrs hormonal therapy 08/31/2016 Tamoxifen, 02/01/2017- 06/10/2021 AI + OS,Tamoxifen 08/10/2021 -current Dx 9/8/2015, DCIS/IDC, Both breasts, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/36 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/17/2015 Reconstruction (Left): Free TRAM flap; Reconstruction (Right): Free TRAM flap Chemotherapy 1/1/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 8/28/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 26, 2018 11:55AM - edited Jul 26, 2018 12:52PM by jazzygirl

Jinx- I think that is really great what you did. At some point, we have to put ourselves back out there and not be afraid to share our story or our bodies. Showing him your reconstruction was a brave thing to do, but also a positive move on your part for your healing/ability to move forward.

We all have that first person we do this with, knowing it may not be the person who sticks around for the longer term. I had one of those same experiences last year and sort of knew it probably would not go anywhere serious, yet I also knew what happened had purpose. If nothing else, it gets you through just telling (and showing) a potential partner all you have been through.

Proud of you sister!

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Surgery 11/15/2012 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/7/2013 Breast Radiation Therapy 2/25/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/21/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Aug 10, 2018 05:32PM juneping wrote:

Jinx....that's very brave of you. i think we have to be comfortable with what we have and went thru. if we don't accept ourselves, who will....

juneping.wordpress.com/ Dx 11/15/2013, DCIS Dx 11/15/2013, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/35 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 1, 2018 10:23PM Enerva wrote:

hi ladies

Just wanted to check in

All ok on my side still with no interest on finding love lol

How is everybody?


Surgery 3/25/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 12/24/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/27/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 12/13/2017, LCIS, 6cm+, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 12/21/2017 Zoladex (goserelin)
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Oct 6, 2018 12:07AM jinx27 wrote:

Im still here, trying to manage side effects and live my life. How are you?

Diagnosed at 27 y/o, synchronous bilateral breast cancer. L. Breast : IDC, R. Breast: DCIS. ER 98%, PR 100% Possible mutation. 5-10 yrs hormonal therapy 08/31/2016 Tamoxifen, 02/01/2017- 06/10/2021 AI + OS,Tamoxifen 08/10/2021 -current Dx 9/8/2015, DCIS/IDC, Both breasts, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/36 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/17/2015 Reconstruction (Left): Free TRAM flap; Reconstruction (Right): Free TRAM flap Chemotherapy 1/1/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 8/28/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)

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