Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer — Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Jun 12, 2022 10:02PM notbrokenjustbent wrote:

Funny, I took a taxi once and when I called him for pick up, he came and asked for me by name and said he was my friend. It worked fine but now the facility insists on making the calls directly so they would know it was a taxi business.

I tried the nurses aid or paid companion deal but they were looking for a regular job with a set schedule and not a one time deal. It is a huge problem and I am surprised there are no options.

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Jun 13, 2022 11:34AM serendipity09 wrote:

Notjustbroken - I feel the same way you do, except mine is more blah.

I just finished, about 10 minutes ago, having the same conversation about being single and BC; I have an appointment today to see the MO. My feet are so bad that I really shouldn't be driving, but I have no choice. Uber would cost too much to get nowhere I need to go. I also know better to leave early enough that if I need to pull over, to do so. I was diagnosed, two years ago, my son's first year of college and right when the pandemic started. He has been by my side through chemo, BMX, Xeloda, exchange surgery, reoccurrence, radiation and Xeloda again ( in my last week YAY). I have a huge surgery again in August and hired a retired nurse. I know my son will do anything for me, but he needs to be able to live his life and not always be burdened by my stuff. I don't like asking friends as they too have jobs and/or children and other responsibilities. I choose to be single, but it's times like this that it would be nice to have a SO to count on (of course not just for illness related issues).

None of this is easy. I hope it all works out for you. Hugs

Chemotherapy 4/1/2020 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 9/17/2020 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right); Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander; Reconstruction (Right): Tissue Expander Chemotherapy 11/3/2020 Xeloda (capecitabine) Surgery 7/9/2021 Reconstruction (Left); Reconstruction (Right) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Carboplatin (Paraplatin) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Jun 14, 2022 02:41PM kamboka wrote:

Too bad about the nursing service. I was able to hire a companion for a few hours. Once, we meet at the place and the other time, the person drove me home.

Dx 1/4/2019, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, FISHISHCISH Chemotherapy 3/15/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Dx 7/9/2019, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 3 Surgery 7/9/2019 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Surgery 7/23/2019 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 10/2/2019 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 11/22/2019 Arimidex (anastrozole), Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 19, 2022 03:13PM notbrokenjustbent wrote:

I have talked to insurance companies and hospital social workers and clinic facilities. Everyone acknowledges that it is a problem yet nothing is done. What a great business that would be, to buy a van and shuttle people around? Surprised hospitals don't offer other than medical transport requiring high level of care. I DO know some of the cosmetic plastic surgeons offer transport to area hotel/motels for out of state patients.

I need an operation on my ankle. I need to be in a wheelchair for 4 weeks and thereafter have to wear a cast for 4 more, so no driving. I told the doctor that an operation is not possible so we are trying PT. I was warned it won't fix the tear but perhaps I can get some measure of improvement by building up the other muscles to compensate. I worry much about getting old and sick and all by myself. I don't know what I would have done for my BC operation as I need a far amount of care for at least a couple weeks.

So when I broke my ankle I had no way to get to the hospital or urgent care so I waited almost three weeks til I went to doctor. Someone said I should have called 911? I was worried if it was just a sprain or whatever, my insurance would be charged and not covered as non essential. Anyone know?

Yes, it's a huge issue for me.


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