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Nov 3, 2018 10:17AM
I am single. I am sure I have posted that before in my posts. I have never married. Never found the right one.
I am ok with that. Sure it gets lonely- go to appointments by myself and to be fighting this by myself. But as my mom used to say, " There is worse things than being lonely". Of course she said this to me way before my cancer diagnosis and she passed before I was diagnosed. But I understand her thought---what if I had a horrible marriage AND have cancer. Or what if my husband didn't want to go through this with me and wanted a divorce along with the cancer battle. I know some who post here with MBC are married and seem to have a good relationship and can rely on their husband for support, but so many marriages seem to be in turmoil. And some who post infer that they need to be strong for their mate and don't seem to be able to just break down and cry on their mate's shoulder. So is their mate really "there" for them.
I have always been independent, so I am used to doing things on my own.
But..... THIS IS WAY HARDER. My concern is when things get bad. What will I do then when I cannot continue to go to appointments or treatments by myself. Or when I cannot continue to maintain my house without someone to help. Or when the end comes...
I just keep on keeping on and try to place it in Gods hands. But it is hard.
Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now.
6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin)
11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib)
4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin)