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Topic: Do I Tell?

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Jul 8, 2014 09:15PM - edited Jul 9, 2014 09:54AM by percy4

percy4 wrote:

This Post was deleted by percy4.
Dx 11-1-13 DCIS low grade ER+ PR+, Dx 12-13-13 DCIS low and intermediate grade, no necrosis; amended Dx 12-18-13, microinvasion, grade 1, 1mm, ER+, HER2 neg. Surgery 12/10/2013 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 2/9/2014 Breast
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Apr 12, 2016 04:08PM inkster wrote:

Even though this post is old and the original content deleted, I'm gonna reply. Cuz I'm like that. ;)

I joined Match.com and was asked by a couple guys to add my picture. Problem is, I look nothing like I did before treatment. I did manage to keep most of my breast, but I went from long, barely wavy hair to super short, super curly hair and glasses. So, I added one from my pre-cancer life (assuming I will look more like that someday), one during (I was looking especially cute in the hat), and one of me in my fun blue wig going to a 5K. All interest appears to have stopped. Total crickets. Now I'm torn: do I go back, remove all references/images of what I went through last year, wait a couple more months for my hair to grow out more, and then add a pic? Would I want to be with someone who is that freaked out by cancer anyway? For better or worse, it is a part of my past, present, and future (until they find a cure, that is).

Anyone else tried the online dating game? How did you handle this? Advice?

Age at Dx: 46; no genetic history of cancer; final chemo 9/9/15 Dx 5/12/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 6/7/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 7/5/2015 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/14/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/1/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 12, 2016 05:00PM LisaAlissa wrote:

Just use a current picture. No need to show before/after, etc. There are people who have very curly short hair when there is no cancer involved.

You're not asking for a full medical history from them for a first date. No reason you should present anything about your cancer on Match.com.

When your "look" changes, just update.

HTH,

LisaAlissa


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Apr 24, 2016 09:44AM grateful99 wrote:

I agree with AlisaLissa - post your most recent photos (one of head and shoulders and one of full body). I also think that two or three dates is too early to exchange health or any other intimate information - many people disappear after two or three dates, it's normal in online dating. Also, if you're concerned about getting physically involved with someone new, start with friendship or casual dating - we all need a social life.

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