Join Us

We are 224,318 members in 83 forums discussing 163,493 topics.

Help with Abbreviations

Topic: New to being single

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

Posted on: Aug 13, 2016 05:30PM

mdg wrote:

Hi Ladies,

I had BC over 5 years ago and had bmx with reconstruction. My husband of 12 years decided he no longer wants to be married. I am now finalizing divorce which seems to be taking forever.....but I am really ready to move on and start dating. I don't even know where to begin to deal with BC and dating. How/when do you tell a guy you had BC? Clearly if the relationship progresses you have to say something because our bodies are a bit altered. Just looking for support on this. Not sure how to date after BMX. Thanks!

Maria Visit my BC Blog at breastcancerwontdefineme.blogs... Dx 12/13/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/22/2010 Lumpectomy: Right Surgery 1/26/2011 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 3/2/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 5/18/2011 Surgery 6/21/2011 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 12/9/2011 Reconstruction (left): Nipple reconstruction; Reconstruction (right): Nipple reconstruction
Log in to post a reply

Page 1 of 1 (1 results)

Posts 1 (1 total)

Log in to post a reply

Aug 14, 2016 07:41AM leftduetostupidmods wrote:

I personally say that from the start. Not just because of the "body altering" issues but also I want them to be informed that, considering the fact that I had invasive cancer, there is a chance it would come back, so I think it's fair that they need to know that might happen down the road before they get emotionally involved.

After my former BF and I broke up after 4 1/2 years (long story) I allowed almost a year to go by before I started dating. Mainly because 1. I did not want to be tempted to get in a rebound relationship, as those can be so damaging and 2. I wanted to recover and take care of myself emotionally, physically, spiritually, you name it. Kind of end a chapter and start a new one, but I wanted to be again the strong woman I was before BC. Due to the fact that there were other family issues that happened right about when ex and I broke up (my father dying being just one of them) I was fairly shattered inside. So I went ahead and spent a lot of time on losing weight, changing diet and lifestyle, getting fit, redecorating the house. in a word, getting ready for a new beginning.

The dates I had were both with men I encountered at various local events as well as online. To be very honest, I preferred the online - you manage to know a little bit about the person before you meet them - I'd exchange quite a bit of messaging back and forth, then go on a video-chat service like Skype to see if there was any attraction, and only that would I go on a face-to-face date. I did not find yet "the one" but that is just because I am extremely picky and this time I don't want to settle for less.

left this forum this time for good due to how stupid moderators are

Page 1 of 1 (1 results)