My daughter has breast cancer.

alliene

I want help knowing how I can support her and help her through this difficult time

needs.a.nap

Hello @alliene. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. It’s such a shocking and upsetting diagnosis for most of us and our loved ones.

We each have a really unique “journey” with breast cancer and need support differently so I can’t speak for others, but I know the support I appreciated from my own mom and I’ll share a few things but please know this worked for me but your daughter might need very different things.

She didn’t break down emotionally on me, she stayed calm and strong and positive. I’m sure she broke down, but not around me. And maybe she pretended to be calm and strong and positive when inside she might have felt the opposite.

She listened neutrally. She let me vent and be all over the place with my emotions and thought processes about decisions on surgery and reconstruction and every detail of this journey without me feeling the slightest bit of pressure to do things a certain way. All the decisions were mine to make, no judgments. I’m sure she had her opinions but she was good about not voicing them.

She traveled to be with me when I first got my diagnosis, then came for the day of surgery and stayed for a few days afterwards, for both of my surgeries. I was so glad to have my mom with me and my husband in the room before my surgery, meeting my surgeons and hearing them describe everything. It was a huge support knowing my husband would have my parents right there with him in the waiting room!

Those are a few things I think of. There will be many various ways you’ll be able to support your daughter and I’m sure she will deeply appreciate you. A mom’s love is powerful!

moderators

Hi @alliene ,

We're so sorry your daughter has been diagnosed. It's clear how much you love her, and just by asking this question, you're already looking for ways to support her.

Hopefully, you'll hear from many members about what helped them most during treatment. In the meantime, these Breastcancer.org resources may be helpful:

• For Family and Friends: https://www.breastcancer.org/about-breast-cancer/caregivers
• Tips for Supporting Someone With Breast Cancer: https://www.breastcancer.org/about-breast-cancer/caregivers/how-to-help

We're glad you're here, and we're sending our best to both you and your daughter. 💗