Living Alone, and Waiting for Answers , Newly Diagnosed,— Looking for Shared Experiences

hellomomo748

Hello everyone, my name is Momo.

I live alone with my beloved dog, who means the world to me.

I recently found many lumps in my breast, and I was told there may already be lymph node involvement. I went for my first medical appointment, and after an ultrasound and mammogram, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am currently waiting for the biopsy results. Next week, I will have CT and MRI scans.

It has only been four days since I received the diagnosis, but it already feels like such a long time.

I have not been able to tell anyone yet.

The tumor appears to be large, and I have been told that the cancer may already be quite advanced.

The waiting time between tests and results feels incredibly long. During this time, I am trying my best to prepare myself, learn as much as I can, continue working, and organize my home.

I live alone, and I am thinking a lot about how I can continue living as positively as possible and spend as much time as I can with my dog, who I love deeply.

For those of you who live alone, how did you cope during the waiting period between diagnosis, tests, and treatment decisions?

How did you prepare yourself emotionally and practically for what came next?

I would be very grateful to hear your experiences and any advice you would like to share.

Thank you for reading.

—momo

threetree

Your experience is bringing back memories for me. It wasn't easy at all, and I can relate to much of what you've described. All I can say is to take it one hour, day, week, etc. at a time. Don't panic. This forum can be a big help. I kept it all to myself for awhile, but then one day had lunch with a friend and told her all about what was happening. It was actually a bit of a relief to have someone else that I knew well (from school days) knowing what was going on. Stay with the forum, and share with others if and when you can. I'm very sorry to read about your situation, but do believe you will find help here. There are a lot of people here who've had some real positive experiences despite the ugliness of all of this. Take care, you are so lucky to have your dog.

Editing to add that many on here will tell you that once you get a treatment plan in place, things will settle down for you a bit and you will feel much better. I found that to be very true for myself as well. Good, good luck with all of this!

hellomomo748

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me.

I’ve read your message several times already. It really helped me calm down a little.

I think you’re right. Right now, the waiting is the hardest part because I still don’t know exactly what I’m facing. I’m hoping things will feel a little less overwhelming once I have my biopsy results and a treatment plan.

It also meant a lot that you mentioned my dog. She really is my family, and she’s the reason I want to keep going, no matter what.

I’m so glad I found this forum. Knowing there are people here who truly understand makes me feel a little less alone.

Thank you again, and I wish you all the best.

july31

@hellomomo748 I received my diagnosis a year ago and I was alone when I got the call that changed my life and alone through most of the process. I am a very private person and just wasn't comfortable with the idea of a lot of people knowing. I told my sister who lives in another state because I felt like I had to tell her. I also finally told one friend because I was required to have a "responsible adult" drive me home from the surgery, I would have just taken an Uber if they would have let me. Some people want to be surrounded with friends and family, if they have those, and some people want to be alone, that is your choice. Don't let people make you feel like you are strange if you go it alone with just your faithful friend. Not saying it hasn't been hard some times and that I a haven't thrown myself some "pity parties" in the wee hours of the morning but it worked for me.
On a practical level check out the laws in your state regarding recording conversations, mine only requires consent from one party so every doctor's visit I just started the recorder on my phone before it began as my second set of ears. I never told any of the medical people because I was afraid they wouldn't like it. Think about the things you will need after surgery, food, things to help with hygiene, etc. and get those ahead of time. Same goes with any meds you will need if your pharmacy doesn't deliver. Check with your insurance company, sometimes they pay for rides and food after surgery. Pick one person to tell because you will probably need that responsible person, although there are people you can hire for this also.
I think I am not as upbeat and positive as many people here but I do believe I am realistic so if you need anyone to talk to when you are down that might understand please contact me. I wish you patience, strength, and knowledge and the wisdom to know when to use these during this sad, horrible event.

hellomomo748

I really connected with what you shared about finding your own way through this experience.

I understand what you mean about not wanting many people to know right away. I am also someone who enjoys being alone and having quiet time. But I also value connection with others, and I believe both are important parts of my life.

Right now, especially during this uncertain time, I don’t want to feel completely alone. I am still finding my own balance between needing my private space and needing someone who understands.

So when you said that I could reach out to you if I need someone to talk to, it gave me a real sense of comfort and relief.

Knowing that there is someone who understands and is willing to listen makes me feel less alone. Thank you so much for reaching out to me.

hellomomo748

Hi everyone,

It has been about a month and a half since I first posted here, so I wanted to share a little update.

Over these past six weeks, I’ve been trying to stay calm and grounded. I’ve been choosing a beautiful wig, making plans for what I might need if things become more difficult, and trying to be prepared for whatever comes next.

I’m actually surprised by how calm I’ve been. In some ways, I feel like I’m already preparing myself mentally for this journey.

I waited three weeks to get an appointment with the specialist I wanted to see, at the hospital where my treatment will take place. That waiting period felt much longer than I expected.

This week, the tests to determine my treatment plan finally started.

I had another lymph node needle biopsy. No local anesthesia?! 😱 As someone who is extremely sensitive to pain, those 15 minutes were a lot for me! 🫨

Starting tomorrow, I’ll have a PET-CT, a heart ultrasound, X-rays, and some other tests. I expect to receive the results and learn my treatment plan next week.

My doctor has told me that my breast cancer is advanced, so I know I need to prepare myself for what comes next.

I’m scared of what the test results may show, but I’m also trying to continue living my everyday life as normally as I can.

During this process, I’ve realized how much I would like to connect with people who have different kinds of experiences with breast cancer.

I would love to hear from people who are living alone, people who have the same type of breast cancer as I do, and people who are currently waiting for test results and treatment plans.

I’d especially love to hear from those who have already been through breast cancer treatment. Is there anything you wish you had known at the beginning? Any advice, small or big, would mean a lot to me.

I’ve done quite a bit of research about breast cancer myself, but I’ve realized that every person’s experience seems to be different.

So I’d especially love to ask those of you who have been through this:

What do you think I should learn or understand at this stage? Is there anything you wish you had known earlier?

I’m trying to learn as much as I can, but I also want to make sure I’m focusing on the things that will actually help me as I move forward.

I’m also looking for information about invasive lobular carcinoma and trying to learn as much as I can.

Sometimes, though, what I really want is simply to talk with people who understand.

Once my treatment plan is decided, I’d also like to join a Zoom group and get to know more people here.

Thank you for reading. I’d really love to hear your stories and experiences. ❤️