Illinois ladies facing bc
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Determined - One of the girls here at bco has written a book titled: Intimacy After Breast Cancer
Here's a link to her website and book:
http://nosurrenderbreastcancerhelp.org/Book/Intimacy%20After%20Breast%20Cancer.html
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I felt weird but it didn't stop us. I still only have TE since I'm only 2.5 months since BMX but everyone is different. I also have lost most of my hair too. You just have to remember that your DH isn't making love to boobs he's making love to you… and the you he loves hasn't changed. Our bodies have changed over the years. Even if we didn't have this disease our bodies would have continued to change.
Also I swear most men once they are in a horny mood, not much can get them out of that mood. ;-)
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Lago and LauraGTO thanks so much. This is bothering me so much because we use to be so active. He says exactly what you said lago. I just have to believe it. He loves me so much and has shown me that over and over these past months and helping through all the surgical complications. I just need to I guess realize it will never be the same. I have ripples in the implants that bother me a lot. I get very frustrated with myself for feeling this way. Thanks so much for your encouragement. Laura that book looks great thanks!
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Oh Determined, you have hit on such a great topic. Just get your engine going......You said that you have a wonderful DH. Trust him. Do things that you used to do before BC showed up to set the right mood. You might surprise yourself. It just takes one match to get the fire going!
I know it is not easy. I still wear a camisole to bed. It makes ME feel more attractive. My DH is ok if I go without it. Even when I was bald he said that didn't bother him. These fellas love and care for us. They want us to feel good. They want us to feel loved.
Navy
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Morning...I am so behind in posting that I will never catch up...need that app for the iPhone! DH took my little netbook for ONE DAY to use at a meeting and you know how that went...haven't seen it since. And for some reason this year was impossible, trying to renew my anti-virus software so after one week of not using the laptop and many phone calls I gave up and demanded my money back and went with another company that I used to have. 1,2,3 and done. Jeepers...
Buddy/Carolyn...so sorry that you have had set-backs. Sounds like you are doing well.
WendyTY....I read you on caringbridge...hopefully this slower chemo protocol will work better for you along with your new work schedule. How nice that your parents are here (or getting here today?)...enjoy this time!
Rita....you and Mary Jane are a hoot! All day shopping sprees, eh? Good for you! Are you done Christmas shopping yet? I went to the DMV first thing this am (more on that later) and then went home and changed cars and took out the Z for a nice ride with the top down....on November 10th...with no heat on in the car, heated seats switched off! It was glorious....thought of Ginny and Fitzpatti as I drove along the Fox River and I wooooohooooo'd for them! I swear I heard them laughing along with me....it made me smile and oh so glad to be alive!
Jackie...so been loving your quotes lately. Yes, we need to be kinder, even to (and especially those) people who are not so kind to us. Kindness begets kindness. Always did, always will. Lesson for all of us, isn't it?
Welcome to the new girls, so sorry you had to find us. For those going thru hard times with chemo, try to hang on. It does end at some point and if you can't get relief on your own, please ask for different drugs...something will work for you. I will try and re-read and try to comment on some of the other posts....hard to catch up as you are all so chatty, and that is great. It's why Rita founded this thread almost 4 years ago....so we could ask questions, come for support, a place to cry and scream and share our fears....and never be judged, no matter WHAT we say. We are all sisters now, as strange as that sounds....
Just a word of caution about getting your Drivers License renewed. Last time I had to go was 8 years ago in November and my picture was so winter-pale that I looked like, dare I say it, a cancer patient (how funny is that! Now c'mon....that IS funny). So...this year I had an "aha" moment and put on a bit of extra blush. Well....cameras must be much better.
I now look like a big orange pumpkin....for the next 4 years at least. Oh joy......
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Thank you NavyMom, I just want it to be the way it was and obviously that can't be. I am very depressed right now and having a hard time getting out of it. I know it takes time to accept and the Tamoxifen could also be affecting my mood but I so wish for the old me both physically and emotionally. Thanks for your kind words.
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Oh Ginger...just read your post...."chemo is just another thing on my "to-do" list, no big deal"....I LOVE THAT! Means that chemo is not getting in the way of your life, your life is getting in the way of having to do chemo....too much to do, not enought time, just living and laughing and enjoyng! Who the heck has time for this chemo nonsense! Hurry up and finish....too much fun waiting....
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wendyk13 If you have a good driving record you can keep your picture for 8 years! My driver's licesense is from 2003. It says I'm only 121lbs (actually I was 118 when I took the picture but I knew I was too thin). Ha I'm not 121 anymore and of course don't have shoulder lenght straight brown hair.
It's the best photo I ever took because it was done in July. My birthday is in February when I usually look so pale. Guess I'll be using the bronzer in 1012.
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Healthy recipes: American Institute for Cancer Research:
http://www.aicr.org/site/PageServer?pagename=her_current_issue0 -
Determined - Think about your screen name here...DETERMINED ; ) ! I still cringe (ocassionally) when I look at my boobless chest, and the battle field-like scars. I'm fortunate that it never totally depressed me. Yeah, of course I had my moments. For some reason, I was able to accept the fact that the physical scars will never go away, but the emotional ones would. And, for the most part, they have. Hang in there - time really does heal all wounds.
As for the book I recommended, it was written by Gina Maisano. She is an amazing woman! She has inspired many, many girls here at bco for many years.
GIRLS - just FYI - Gina's website is named NO SURRENDER - that's how I got the idea to name our annual Komen Walk team!
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Hi all. Determined, you are probably just grieving your losses now. BC causes us to lose so much (body image, hair for some, self-confidence and the feeling of being in sinc). It also can cause us to take a real look at our own immortality. All those losses can lead to sadness and depression. You may wonder how others (including your husband) can still relate to you what with all the changes and scares. So I think it is normal to feel funny and odd and jittery for awhile. But do be aware that if it lasts very long and you are really feeling sad, that you may need to talk to a professional who can try some meds to change things. Some people go through a post traumatic stress disorder after the treatments. I am most certainly not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but many here, myself included, needed to go on meds for awhile to get the balance back. No one wants to, but some of us need to. As I say, perhaps you just need some time. It sounds like you have a darling husband who loves you unconditionally. I wish you well..
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Determined... I agree with Zap/Susan. If you feel that you are going through a depression, speak to your doctor. Starting with my second chemo treatment, exactly 3 days after each chemo treatment, I was thrown into a depression for about 4 days. Then it went away. Drove me nuts as that was just not me and I could not understand what was happening. I know my DH was really worried about me and so sympathetic. I did some research and discovered that depression was listed as possible side effects of the steroids and a couple of the chemo drugs. So I spoke to my ONC when I went in for my third treatment and he readily gave me a low-dose prescription for Citalopram. His nurse said that so many of their patients end up asking for something to treat depression during treatment and not to be embarrassed about it all. Anti-depressants can take up to 3 weeks to really start helping you but it worked like magic for me. I am nearly done with radiation now and continue to take them. I hope to wean myself off here soon. So, I am just saying, talk to your doc and get some help to get through this stage of this ugly disease.
Joan
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Morning All... Hope all is well and healthy as healthy can be for everyone!!!keep goin and keep fighting as it is a time where attitude is everything!!!For al those in tx and newbies this thread will be the best support you could ever ask for!
southside lunch ladies....Not hearing from anyone, other than Elf, the 13th is not scheduled. I now have a baby shower to go to. If we are to get together, need some ideas?
Goin for a nipple recon in two weeks and finally made the decision to do this. I have the most awesome PS ever and he really urged me as my recon really healed nicely and it would be a final closure for this jounrey. I am ready for it.
Working alot and busy. Hard to keep here alot ut you are all in my thoughts and prayers!!!
Donna
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It isn't the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it's how we relate to the things that happen to us that causes us to suffer. -Pema Chodron
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Donna- I must have missed the info on the 13th (busy anyway) but will look for the next plans of a get together! I have pondered if I will get the nipple reconstruction. It's way off but still pondering. Final chapter sounds wonderful, congratulations. I'm finally coming out of the chemo bog (hi onward hope you are too). (c:
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Good morning on this -- Veteran's Day. We are so fortunate to be in our free country and that way because so many people were willing to give whatever was needed, up too and including their life. I read an article this morning that talked about not only losing one's life, but the cross the entire family of that person will forever bear. What a sobering, sobering thought.
I am a former service-person, but I am indeed thankful with every free breath I take for each and everyone of those who gave the ultimate price and every one still working and fighting for the freedoms that are my daily privilege. God Bless you and my sincerest and tear-filled thanks to you and to your family who awaits your safe and healthy return back home to them. I am in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. God be with you and your loved ones.
Jackie
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Jackie, so well said.....
Thank you to all those that serve our country past and present. And a special thanks to you, Jackie, for your service.
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Adey: better living through pharmacuticals. My levels were good today with the shot yesterday and he put me back on steroids for the shot and I am back to myself. Walked around shopping for my trip tomorrow bald and singing. Got some interesting looks, all good, but interesting. lol.
Determined. After surgery and four months of chemo yeah, it just is not on my schedule yet. Truthfully, havent even really thought about it as I am asleep about 2 hours before he goes to bed. Shame on me. So I decided to book a weekend with my DH who guess what, I have been neglecting.We are leaving tomorrow and I had my BLM on July 29th of this year. I chose not to have reconstruction at least for now, and for some reason still am uncomfortable to be seen without wearing something. Yet how stupid, it was my DH who was cleaning my wound while I was healing. His comment, when asked if he was sure he could do it, was, honey, I was in Nam, I think I can handle this. If you think you need help, of course, get help. But OMG we have been through so very much, I think we need to give ourselves time to recover. Much love and hugs. Onward
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Quick update. Still in hospital on my blackberry. Going home today. Lots of issues with dizziness and nausea kept me here longer. Pain is manageable.
One out of four SNB positive, and so we wait some more for the pathology report.
Family all here and wonderful. Teenage daughter stikl a teenage daughter....phone calls all about the delay in getting her cheer shoes.
Post more when I am home.0 -
LisaMomOfFour
So glad the surgery is over. The next steps are to be gentle with yourself and don't push yourself. I am so glad you have good support from family. And yes the teenage years are "all about me" ha!
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Onward your reply made me smile as my husband cared for my bilateral mastectomy incisions that were both infected, my nipples trying to save them, which unfortunately I was not able to, and then when the one incision broke open. He saw it all then ...... Guess because now it is suppose to be my normal and with the ripples etc. it isn't what I had hoped. But you are absolutely right!!!! Have fun on your weekend.
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OT - My love of our great nation - here's a video that I love (her Mom died from Ovarian cancer 3 years ago):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrCvMTGs2u8&feature=player_embedded
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Great video, Laura. Sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about my son. And to all who have served or have a loved one who is serving..........THANK YOU.
Navymom
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Lisa, It's so good to hear from you. I've been wondering how things went for you. Sorry you've got some bumps in the road....but, I'm glad you made it through the surgery.
Gentle hugs and healing wishes
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Hi my name is Mandy I'm 30 yrs old I live in Lakemoor. I was diagnosed on 7/29/10 with BC through all that wonderful further testing that they did, they also found I have lung cancer in my left lung. I DON'T SMOKE, NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL. SOOOOOOO not fair. I have had my 3rd round of chemo. My chemo is TCH. Just had the lower lobe of my left lung removed. Trying to recover from that while doing chemo. I should be done with chemo January 3rd & I will then have my bi lateral mastectomy with full reconstruction. I keep fighting like a girl and can not wait for the day that comes when I can say I"M A SURVIVOR!!!!!
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Does anyone here go to the Kellogg Cancer Center in Highland Park for treatment? I see Dr. Dragon there. I live in Lakemoor but the kids go to Wauconda schools. Just curious to know who's close to me.
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Hi Mandy:
Your oncologist is mine as well, but my treatment was four years ago. He is wonderful. There is another woman who also is getting treament under his supervsion at Kellog in Highland Park. She is now on vacation. She is closer to your age. I am twice your age, yet still able to feel your fears as have a daughter your age and she too has kids. Keep posting and let me know if you need anything.
Susan
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LisaMomOfFour sounds like you made it through surgery. I know the day after my surgery the last thing I wanted to do is talk on the phone. I can't believe you are playing with your blackberry! ;-)
Fightinlikeagirl Sorry you had to join us but welcome. I'm about to have my 3rd THC on Tuesday. My chemo ends on Jan18 if all goes smoothly. I'm done with BMX but maybe will be doing my exchange about the same time you do your MX/Recon. BTW I read some of your other posts. I know what you mean feeling like the youngest in the chemo treatment room. First time I felt like I was in a nursing home… and I'm 19 years older that you! The last time I was there there was a woman that was around my age.
Dr. Dragon… really that's his name? Good think he's a guy or you would be calling him/her the dragon lady ;-)
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Hi Mandy, glad you found the illinois girls, so very sorry you needed to. As you were being diagnosed, I was having my BLM. I am now done with A/C chemo and begin Taxol next week. I will be finished with chemo on Feb.2 and then on to radiation. So far, it's doable. Not fun by any means but I have found many blessings on the way. One of them was this group of amazing women. You are just too damn young. Are you married, have any kids? Is the lung cancer the primary? I cannot imagine having sugery on top of chemo. In fact I thought chemo stops you from healing? I thought that was why I had to wait for my incisions to heal before begining the chemo.
By the way, you are absolutley beautiful! You smile just radiates and it sounds as if your attitude will take you a long way. Stay in touch. Onward
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Lisa...glad your thru and on the mend. Hang in there.
Mandy, welcome -- you are young and as always.....we wish it were not so....but we always have room for one more. I do think the daily stresses are apparently causing younger and younger women to turn up with diseases like this that we seldom heard about many years ago. I knew no one who had cancer and really didn't until I was diagnosed in 2007. You have an attitude of strength and willingness to get through this as a winner, and that is a huge head-start.
Hope you will come often...
Hugs, Jackie
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Mandy, welcome to this great group of very supportive ladies and yes, glad that you found us and sorry that you needed to. I am sure you will find alot of suppport here. You are just too darn young to be dealing with all this and the lung disease also. I am sort of in your neck of the woods, but had my BMX at Northwestern and my chemo and radiation at Good Shepherd. My last rad treatment tomorrow. Still have to go back to Northwestern to finish the reconstruction early this spring.
And I am 11 years older than Lago and I even felt like the young one in the chemo room! LOL.
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