Illinois ladies facing bc

Illinois Native....I volunteer and am on the board of our local Humane Society -- House of Hope - no-kill shelter.  In Centralia.  We are bursting at the seams there.  Some man this afternoon brought a little rat terrier and when we told him we were full and could not take the dog......he left.  He also left the dog on our front stoop. 

Fortunately.....the gal that was working with me today decided to take that little guy home so he will end up with a nice home. 

Mad....sometimes you do feel crappy about this very touchy subject.  My sister-in-law was sure the left side of my bra would have to be stuffed with something ( I had lumpectomy ) but you can barely tell......somehow I thought she was taking a strange perverse pleasure out of my possible disfigurement.  Anyway......I never did feel very comfortable talking about it to people until I was  nearly done with all treatments and had a semblance of good health back.  Unless you are talking to someone who has been on the same path, it is hard to connect and have a "reasonable" give and take.  Most people just would not have the sensitivity.  Mad....it is all of those things you mentioned and give yourself total permission to have whatever feeling you have. 

Calico...glad you popped back in.  It all goes a little better when the decisions are made and you know what your going to do.  Hope your Mom soon has her plans in place.  It is hard to imagine that you are both doing this so close together.  I hope things will go well.....for both of you.  Hope you stay in touch. 

Momma2four.....I so feel for you.  I'm sure its difficult to have come so far and to be challenged in this way.  It is true that it is not cancer ( thank heavens ), but it is a re-run so to speak of what you had to do to get back to having a "normal" body that seems to no longer want to stay normal.  Almost like when we all got diagnosed  --- sort of out of the blue -- wham.  Just not what anyone expected.  I do hope  ( Sept. seems so far off right now ) that things will go well for you.  We are always here to  help you get through whatever you are going through so do come back and chat. 

Lago....too funny about needing to ask for help with your choices.  Makes for a good story now. 

I'll see you all in the morning...I'm all in for tonight.

Hugs, Jackie

Thanks everyone for making me feel better about myself for the emotions I'm experiencing right now, when I show fear or anger or sadness to anyone in my *real life* all I get is a lecture about "how I have to be "positive" 24/7 and I can't ever have a negative thought or I'm going to affect my fight.... When I'm sorry, sometimes all I really want and need to do is cry....



I do want to tell everyone here how much I appreciate this forum and everyone on it, it's only been a few weeks but I already find such comfort here.... And it gives me so much hope and strength seeing so many of you living PAST what I'm going through right now....you remind me there is still life outside this disease and someday I'm going to get back to living it......



Thank you ladies.....

Morning! 59 on the deck and clear...hear it's gonna be a hot one!

Calico....still hard to believe that the two of you are going thru this at the same time. Now that the plans are in place and you can move ahead most of us felt it suddenly got easier. Just keep taking baby steps.

Lago/Laura...take care of those arms today! AND...Lago...if you start throwing pads out the window to see if they fly PLEASE TAKE MOVIES!!! LOL!!!

Momma2four...well, wow! What a trial this had been for you! While it is truly wonderful that cancer is not present, you have been dealing with so much. Hopefully they can get a handle on everything and find a permanent fix for this. Keep us posted, ok?

Madismommy...what Zap was referring to is my "fort". My Dad was to put it mildly, a very difficult and hard man but my Mom was the complete opposite. When Dad was not in a good mood, she would throw a blanket over the kitchen table and we would play fort and hide there. We would hug for hours and she would tell me wondeful stories and we would have lovely tea parties and great little snacks. I always felt loved and safe there. So....fast forward to 2006 and being dx'd and then finding out about chemo and being Her2+. I was so overwhelmed and I felt so alone. One day after my DH left for school I simply crawled under the kitchen table and sobbed for hours, waiting for my dead Mommy to come. After I managed to crawl back out I went to the computer....and found this site, which Rita had just started. I like to think it saved my sanity. I was NOT alone...and I never would be alone on this journey....ever. Don't worry about what people say or don't say...cuz you see...they don't get it and never will! But we do! We are here when you need us....anytime !   My "fort" is always open,,,,crawl on in anytime!

Rita....see? Once again...I wonder if you have any idea how many lives you changed when you reached out one night because you were scared!!??!! Thank you so much....

Waving at you WendyTY!

PS:  My eye is healed....don't need to come back for a year!  Vacay here I come! 

Momma2four. You give me hope - I am very close to you We play travel ball We are in blommington all the time we live in Mahomet. We will be there this Tuesday for ball. Your 10 years out that is so amazing! I had 1 node involved I am going thru reconstruction now I only had a right mastectomy. I am up to 400 cc. I hate it. - I always hurt when I wake up in morning. I have a friend who had two infections. Back to back and spent a lot of time in hospital. My shoulder is so out of whack since surgeries. I worry a lot. Your 10yr anivesary is awesome!!!

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb

Count me in as I'm here too with my box of Kleen-x.  But....yes, its the great kind of tears that give you the strength from not being alone.....feeling accepted, and knowing that the path you chose will work for you.  Wendy......we still all love your fort and are thrilled it is still there for us......along with you. 

mahomet, how great that you ran into Momma2four here.  Hope things start turning around for you.

Had to get Maggie and take her to the Manor ( fancy nursing home here ) early this morning and need to get going to go get my work done and visit with her on the way home. 

I'll be checking in with all of you later.

Hugs, Jackie

Hmmm..I am going to have to figure out where I'm going to 'pitch' my fort.  It seems to be all over my house right now!

I had my lumpectomy/SNB yesterday.  Full path report will be in Tuesday or Wednesday.  Taking it easy today with the help of Vicodin.

Everyone here seems so friendly.  I feel that I have indeed, found a new home.  I'm still trying to grasp all the abbreviations y'all use! LOL

I am supposed to be back at work on  7/13 and I am sure  I should be able to handle it.  I am a nurse at a free clinic in Joliet.  I am 54, have 5 kids, and my husband is a farmer.  My 3rd child, daughter, is getting married in October and her shower is 7/17.  My oldest daughter is married and lives in Massachusetts and my son is married and lives in Chicago.  No grandbabies yet, but I hear that it's just great!

I'll check in later...

Out for the evening but...



MaryRN...no need to pitch a fort....our "fort" is here, 24/7! We HATE meeting new girls but all are welcome...just wish you never needed to look for us!

OMH, 40 bags of wood chips in the swingset area.  I am going to ache tomorrow.  It was 90 degrees.  These grandparents are NUTS!. Perhaps I will lose half a pound for this effort. PLEASE!

 Mary, it was great to hear from you.  I was back at work one week after  the second lumpectomy (bad margins on the first) and it was the best thing I did as it got my mind off ME and IT. I taught through chemo and radiation.  Work worked for me, yet  I fully  understand that my strategy of coping is not for all.   I am facing 5 years as a survivor in August.  That feels very good.

Yes, the fort story is good.  Wendy's mom is very much alive.  Thanks for sharing, Wendy the Weather Woman ( I do not like Wendy the Older for you).

 Hey, Betty Ford lived until mid 90s and she had BC.  We have long life before us, girls! Make some plans.

I am still trying to get all the new people straight.  If I ever goof, forgive me.

Susan

Madismommy719 Heat and humidity can give me headaches especially if I sleep in a room too warm. You might just be dehydrated too. Be sure to be hydrated. I assume you have mentioned this to your onc

Hi MaryRN....welcome to you and welcome to Wendy's fort.  We all wish you didn't need to be here but the welcome mat is always out.  It is a good place to hang out, get ideas or have questions answered, have melt-downs if they come  and feel comfort knowing that we are all taking this particular boat-ride together.  There is strength and unity in numbers.

Long day but I'm ready to relax.  Had to go out this evening and buy Maggie a fan for her room.  I'm fortunate in that the Manor is on my home......so most days Maggie will be sure to have at least one visitor. 

Knock on wood.....I've not been one to ever much get headaches --- very rare for me.....but I went through a spell with sinus one time when I was having them rather constantly if I didn't take my sinus meds.  I'm sure back then it was one of those that you have to sign for now, but I kept a constant supply going for about a yr. and a half I think. I bet I would raise some eyebrows if I were "using" as consistently now as I did then. 

Have a restful evening everyone.  See you in the morning.

Hugs, Jackie

P.S.  I meant to say something as well about having a positive attitude.....and by itself really won't do much.  I think the value comes in because I believe when your spirits or attitude is UP, your a lot more apt to keep your ears and eyes open for things or new meds, that will enhance your ability to get well. You will perhaps ask more questions and have a higher willingness to search for answers on your own.  You might even find yourself somewhere like BCO.Org. 

Morning! 72 on the deck already, very humid and hazy and actually a little foggy! Gonna be hot today and much hotter tomorrow...slight chances of rain next few days. I would really welcome some rain...grass is going brown and crunchy even tho I have been watering.



Woke up this am myself with a killer headache at 4 but I know it's the weather. I am lucky that a couple of aspirin do the trick most of the time.....rain must be moving in!!!!



Susan....40 bags??? Seriously???? Wow. Funny story about mulch tho....I have mulch beds around the house and up on the hill. I had a quote from my landscaper for refreshing the mulch and I said no way...I will do it myself. After carrying 15 bags up that hill and then calculating that I would need another 75 bags at least...I gave up. Landscapers are a good thing.



Hope you all have a great Sunday! A quiet day for us...do need to make a Target run but that's it....stay cool!

Wendy....wait for me.  I want to go to Target too.  Oh how I wish we had a Target store a little closer around here, but have to go about 50 miles.....so you have to want,need, plan to go.  We do now have a Kohl's and I also really like that one.....but I'd like to have a Target as well.  Want, want, want.  I have not been happy with Centralia's idea of stores since K-Mart left town.  The Kohl's by the way is in Mt. Vernon.....20 miles away....at least that does not take a "plan".  You can just go

Excuse me, but you probably all noticed, I left a word out a post or so back.  Meant to say that the Manor was on my way home.  I think faster than I can type -- nice to know in a way.  Most of the time I'm stumbling for answers....maybe I should try typing everything out. 

Going to be hot and humid here.  Hot is ok with me if we just didn't have to have that drippy trying to walk through a hot, wet, sponge humidity.  Sigh!!!!

Hope you all have a great Sunday....I'll be back later.

Hugs, Jackie 

 Clarification.  DH and I did 40 bags of mulch.  He hauled and I cut and poured (like half of them).  I meant that WE did 40 bags and he did most of them and frankly, if we knew that area needed so many bags, we might not have  begun in the first place. This is the perfect example on why we should all know formulas for finding the area of a rectangle and having a grip on cubic feet.  But it does look good!

Madisonmommy719 - I had a lumpectomy and SNB March 2010 and slept with my arm elevated on a pillow for a long, long time - arm would tingle and rib cage ache for a long time - at least ten months. Now feeling almost "normal". I also never know which doctor to call with what. I don't like my ob/gyn and will not go back (looking for a new one). I see my onc every three months so I have been bringing all my concerns to her so far.



IllinoisLady - Really like your inspirational message today. Thank you.