how about drinking?
Comments
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Fred works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling,
And plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she
Takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
""Hey, Fred! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Fred. "He's in my bowling league."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Fred if he'd like his usual and
Brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,
"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have
A Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Fred,
Starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Freddie.
Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Fred's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Fred follows and spots her getting into a taxi.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Fred tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken
Him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four
letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
"Geez Fred, you picked up a real bitch this time."
Fred's funeral will be on Saturday.0 -
lol dork
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anybuddy here? I tink I see de Katrina in mr. bigs arms. hmmmm. It is Pau Hana and also time to start planning de next parTAY, it is in de Philadelphia.
Beans, can you hail with the UFO and wese take care of de bus?? Okey?
Gotsda fly, be back later. CHerERS!
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SCUBY-Great choice for BOTD. Though I think i'd be bouncing off the walls w/that one. GOLDIE-Just for you a bigger avatar. I REALLY loathe posting pics of myself so this will be an exception.
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love your avatar pic, Unde' de cova's( wit Pants ) ... hehe! dwink wif me, will ya?? mese needs six more dwinks. Hunk, ken you hailp mese? who's dwinking on dis MLKdey/monKEYdey ebening???
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HowwwwwwwwwwwwwDeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Water fexed (I hope) Sheesh! Tank U for hangin in dere wif me for da winter Chit. I tink I will be baaaaaaaaaaaaack tamari...we did not go for a twip 2 day... too much do do and then all of a sudden it was Pau Hana! Cheers!
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Hey Dotty! I'm here! Just popping in for a quick drink while the pain meds kick in...lol....yeah, yeah, I know, you're not supposed to mix meds and booze but I need the added effect today, coz I feel like my back is gonna break!
What have the boys got on offer that is gonna go down smooth? Oh and I think I might line up for one of Mr. Big's famous massages as well.
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Beanz!!!! Glad you finally got your water fixed! Can you do sompink to make sure it doesn't happen again?
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Beanie, sew habby dat your water is hot. makes me tink of de Mr. bigster. Yessiree, he so good to us. Glad he making de Chrissy all comfy with hims big hands. Me tinks I seeze de tender whipping up some margarita's for wese. yippee.
Cwissy, hab some of de margaritars and de pain pill, add de fukitol and let's partay, yippeee!!
Mese here at de lounge and wese seeze sum loungettes here. Dey all pampering de Cwrissy but mese and wese will allow dat cuz wese know she needs de pampering. Hunky, lubber of mese, ken ewe git de Chwrissy B some shots of de wodka, and not de cheap stuff, wese wanna send her de goodest stuff. CheerZ me cwissy, O, me means de Chrissy - such hard ledders to type fir mese, me R is bwoken, me bought one from de Vanna, hehe, do u wanna meet her, she dwunk! yippee fir you. and yippee for wese twos, ya white!! oh, de clock sez it time fer a dance parTAY, any buddy wanna boooogie uggy woogie dis ebeing? SWIKE up de bank. yipeeee!!
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BUY DE WEIGH......Unde', don't loathe posting de pics of de Unde', you so cute and skinnnney. Wese sailabwating yer new avatar pic-atar, will you join in and dance? Anybudddy?? mese dancing de night aweigh! yippeee. Kalabungo mo fo, rat, wese better den ewe, take dat ewe big fat wat basturd.
Mese bwings some willy dis ebening. don't tail willie wese got his stuffs. He b mad at wese. Mese sha-moking dis ebening jest becuz it cybarly and it feels goot! come on in, who's dwinking. who's ssha-Moking? hehe. oh mese, ken somebuddy hailp me to de hammock or de pool? yes, de pool, mese feel like jest flwaoting in de htl swimming hole wif de water temp at oh lets sey 100F? yes, dat is white, dat feel good. Scuby, come on obber, wese swimming ahhhhh, you swin two now ya hear? and wese swimming wif de beers dis ebening and margarita is here too. okey, me float. ahhhh......
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Enjoying my Sutter Home Moscato. Join Me!!! My son, bless him, got me a subscription to the Wine of the Month Club for Christmas and I thought, what a neat gift!!! He hosts several parties throughout the year and his parties are always well attended and loads of fun. At his end of summer party, we made a pinata and stuffed it with little bottles of liquor and things like the little shot glasses on beads like you get at $ stores and party shops etc and it was a real hit!! Try it!!
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oh, de sutter home is de only wine mese like. matter oh fact, wese just restocked hours wine rack, ya! only two of dese wines, some merlot and a few whites. Wese ready for visitairs.
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finished off the bottle of petite syrah.....have one bottle of Israeli wine left...and then the wine rack is empty...need to order more wine.....not sure what I want to get......
sinuses are bothering me today...not as bad tonight as during the day....DH said I looked puffy....taken 8 ibuprofen today and lots of guafenesin (sp)....tired of constant sinus stuff....get post nasal drip, runny drippy nose...headache and/or eyes feel tired.....DD is babysitting part of tomorrow....trying to decide what we are going to do....she wants to know if her dad and I want to go see the movie Joyful Noise with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifa.....she wanted to go pottery painting late this afternoon, but I wasn't feeling good enough to do it...so told her we could do it tomorrow....guess we can decide tomorrow what we will do....I was hoping to get with my gf, but haven't heard from her, so guessing its not a go....she must be on duty for her 6 yo grandson...she's such a good grandma....Need to go back and read the posts from this afternoon....going to finish my wine and watch the end of the Golden Globe awards.....have a good rest of the night!!!!
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Mmmmmmm, dat was a spot hitter, Fo Sho! Chrissy, you get your head out abetween dose sexy Mr Big legs now, IHAVE THE SALT, don't let him fool ya, he's a tricky guy
(k, now go to next page, and pertend dat post was first, K?)0 -
K, look like that post came after one I thought me posted. Was jus sayin dat Undy a lil hottie, go GF, an tellin Chrissy we jus gonna do sum tequila sots. Mr Big holding fe gwass tween his legs, no Hans lowwed, K? Here is de lime, SUCK DE LIME!! Den u get de glass, den I be howding de sawt shaker
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Just watched Golden Globes. Isn't George Clooney just about the most gorgeous man EVER?!! (next to my DH of course-just in case he is lurking!)
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dork an husker, u wan a shot? Me has to get Chrissy off her knees. She bein a bad goil tonite, acting like a cwazy goil!! It ok Chrissy, u enjoy down under, I holdin de salt shaker when u done. We hab a line fowming Fo de shots do, so snow job gonna put a gwass tween his wegs too, K?
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Husker...I was just telling DH that Clooney has such a little boy devilish grin!!! and yes Clooney is so handsome.....if the guys can comment on the gals, then we can comment on the guys...looking at air fares to go to my folks next month and they are sky high...should have bought my tickets as soon as I got home last month...they've gone up at least $100...I want to go over Presidents week-end so I have the extra day, but may see if the following week=end is cheaper....oh just realized can't do that week=end as I have my onc on the 23rd......so maybe the 1st week-end in march...I have spring break the last week=end in March, but that isn't a good time as I need to clean and get ready for Passover...plus Mom wants to try to come for the sedars.....fares are over 500 to PBI....FLL is too far to ask mom to drive, but its a direct flight so even if I pay for the shuttle its still easier travel....will check again tonight and again tomorrow and just bite the bullet....
Chrissy...sorry to hear that you are in so much pain...a gals got to do what a gal has to do.....
bought a new wallet today...finally found one I like...love the one I have but it is falling apart...think I going to go put my stuff in it and finally change purses...I bought a new one in the fall and still haven't used it.....
Sweet dreams.....
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oh yese, Allison, pass de salt shaker. me lubs de tequila, tank ewe. And mese saw Chrwissy B too, she taking advantage of de mr big, he a voygin hehe, don't tail, he imbarrassed. tomorree is a new dey form de Mr. B, hehe!
Mese love George but mese hear hese a bad bad boy. He sed no when asked by de htl management to soyve us, so nessapointed in de George. He can soyve me dwinks anytime.
Karen, ya still parTAYing like it is 1999? Mese is, de dork must go to de woyk soonly. Mese hope you comprehendo what mese sez.
Unde', wher u go, mese jest saw ya talking with flash, and FLASH, bof of ewes is gone. uhhhh ohhhhh!! Dwinks for all yese, on de house. Of curse, always on de house, yippee for de htl. cheerZ!
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Karen, u do know u don't ever need a reason to buy a purse or wallet, right?? Bought a favorite wallet few months ago from Brighton. It's part of their fashionista collection, LOVE IT! Also bought the purse, two scarves, sunglasses pouch, and iPad case. Retail therapy, lol!!
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I'll take a drink, but then must get to bed...SIGH
My youngest, DS age 16, is going to give me (more) gray hair (if you could see it under the hair dye!)He's a good kid, but my GOD...he has got to get a clue about grades, and job, and responsibility, and...LIFE in general. I know people say girls are easier, but I have two DD's, 26 & 21 and they were much easier than this! Maybe not having any brothers jades my perspective...
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Unde, where u go?? An mese so disapointec in de cwooney, dat so mean a him to not sewve us goils, we been true de rat bastard en eberyting, mean a$$ cwooney cwown! Mr. Big will do all de work gwadly! Ummm, he gettin up off a he knees to tank us bewwy mucho. Chrissy, u needs to gets up too, K?? Snow job licked u wrist an spinkled sum sawt on it, lick it, K? But don't be sexy lickin it, or dese odder goils in de line will neber gets a shot, K?
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Dere's de husker! Mese gonna caw it a nite too, gonna go Lub on me nephew. Gots to get some love in fore I gots to go home tomorree, dang it! Nite peeps! An Chrissy, dis is de HTL, we hab no rules here, but may need to limit u to ten shots. U is a lush!! Hehehe, Lub u! Nite!
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ummm,flesh,i mean Flash wes hepping me to git up on the barstul. i kep felling off. habing tew many dwinks toonite.i never mayd it on the barstul so im sitting on de Flash lap,heheheh. tank yew fur saying i look coot Dork but the camara dusnt like mee. V-im only a hotty cuz im seating on Flash and hes meking me sooooo hotttt!
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Halp me goils! I can't get off me knees!!! Bad Mr Big lego off me ead! I gotta get ups.....HALP!!!!
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OMG, I have so much fun reading these posts!
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Karen, I just saw your post and realized that BC is a "get out of Passover" ticket. :-) Yay me! Someone ELSE can have it this year!
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chrissy-im gonna sav u. im guna secrafise and tak de big boyy frum ure hands and helping uwe to git off frum ur nees.let mee take himm now in da bak room,an if ure hering him skreems jes ignur hem.hes need too be punesh fur dis.
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sawry spinner,hop im not meking ur head spin frum de bump.hab anuder dwing here on mee.or on ewe,
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Yay Undy!!!!! You fweed me!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!
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