Illinois ladies facing bc
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Happy Friday....after a long/emotional week (I received so much support from the ladies on this thread) I feel much stronger today. My left breast went from multifocal to multicentric after the next core biopsy. After a great deal of time/research I arrived at the decision to have a BMX. While I am not BRCA positive I do have a strong family history and a history of aytpia in both breasts. My gut tells me this is the right choice for me. My emotions & gut argued quite a bit but I trust my gut more. I met with a PS and feel very comfortable with him and his staff. I have one more hurdle to cross: the full CT & Bone scan which will take place next week. Then my surgery will be scheduled. It could be June (ack!) due to the BS/PS schedules - which is about 4-1/2 months since this nightmare began.
As I said in my earlier post, I am such a private person. This thread and you ladies have taught me that it's okay to reach out for help and support. You are all very special. It does take a village
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Once I made my decision it was such a relief. Congratulations Cathy!
Good chilly morning everyone.
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Thanks Adey - the war between my intellect and emotions just wore me out. It was my lowest point yet. I'm at peace with this decision. My husband & daughter fully support me but I am surprised by members of my family that don't seem to agree. Is this normal? Have others had family disagree with your choice of treatment?
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I found it hard to decide because there is so much choice in this journey. My family didn't question my decisions. If you are at peace then you made the right decision.0
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You bet! I've done some alternative things and not so common things along the way. Most of the time no one says it straight out but just look at me with the WTF look. (c: It doesn't bother me. I know what is right for me. One gal said "isn't that very aggressive?" and I said yeah, I think they want me to live! Hang in there and vent here any time. Hugs.
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Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.
Thomas Merton0 -
Invisable every one has an opinion and an asshole. Be happy they are showing you their opinion and not their asshole. Seriously if anyone questions you just tell them they can do what ever they want if they ever (knock on wood) have to go through this. Bottom line is no one can really understand what it is like till they get that diagnosis of cancer. Even us strong women go through an emotional roller coaster that we didn't even thing was possible.
You will find some people will understand, some won't. Some just say stupid things but they just don't understand. Some relationships will change and get better, some will cease to exist. My sister and I haven't spoken since 1 week after my BMX. I'll tell you that story some time. Yes we were close, I thought.
Adey I for one thought what you did made perfect sense. I'm excited for you. Are you drainless yet?
Joan how was shopping?
strength training done… off to the gym
Happy Friday everyone!
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Bogie,
I think now is the perfect time because we can capture how this really is such a difficult and life changing surgery. Yes we are all so thankful they found and got the cancer but it leaves us with a journey that is often ignored or minimized. You can PM me and we can talk about it if you want. I admire your bravery in considering this!!!! We need to help the women that follow us in this journey to know that the emotions we feel and the tears we cry are normal. We are hoping to film again in June or July which gives you a bit more time. One woman we filmed is 4 years out and teared up when talking about it. So it is ok.
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Well said Adey. I too took a very aggressive route.... my family history is crazy. Grandmother had BC at 26, her daughter, my aunt, had BC around the same age. HER daughter, my cousin, had BC at 29, another cousin at 28. Two iother women in the family had BC in their forties. That left me and only me as the only living female in three generations without BC. I started demanding mammograms at age 30, and it wasn't easy to find a doctor willing to do that twenty years ago. I had the BRCA testing done shortly after it was available, and had it come back positive, I would have had an immediate oopherectomy to lower my risk. Had many people tell me I was crazy. But with the up close and personal view I have had of cancer (lost my mom to lung cancer, my dad to pancreatic cancer too).... it didn't seem that extreme to me.
So I made the decision to have an immediate BMX, even though I was a candidate for a lumpectomy, with this family history, the decision felt right to ME and that's all that really matters.
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Yea Cathy. Attaining the information you need and then choosing what you will do is such a monumental step and will ( as you have found out ) start to propel you out of the abyss you get in trying to reach that point.
You are also experiencing and may continue for a bit those who "have" all the answers and want to "set" you straight. I know they mean well......but to a person I'm sure, everyone here, is here because they needed and wanted to share with people in the same boat ( not the Titanic ) because unless you are ACTUALLY having this experience, you really don't know what it is all about and how complicated it can be. So part of the biggest value in being here ( or on BC. Org somewhere ) is not only the information, but the fact that every one here has had or will be having the same experience as you. When you say how you feel.....there will not be much for guesswork here.....because we felt it too.
Adey -- such a great no-nonsense answer.....as I imagine that gal, tongue not in cheek regarding your answer. Adey knows as do most people here.....I am a rock-solid believer that your gut-instinct --- which for me tends to sound like a beautiful little bell deep in my chest area, alerts me to what is right for me. When I hear that inner sound tone --- damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead and no looking back.
A week of possible rain here....is it Spring now???? Hope you all have a fantastic day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Valerie - I read your post asking about arm mobility and it reminded me of how far I've come with my frozen shoulder on my original MX side. I was talking to DH last night about how it seemed like my shoulder was just going to be "frozen" forever - truthfully, I think it was a several year period that I had pain and limited mobility with it. I did several rounds of physical therapy, one of which resulted in my getting a terrible neck strain - different story - and several steroid injections, which did help, but minimally. I can't even pinpoint when it stopped being awful, because I finally just accepted that I had to live with it and just hope it recovered itself one day, which it mostly has at this point. My rambling point is YES, all you newly post-op ladies work that shoulder as you are physically able and cleared to do! I did NOT do this, and for the life of me I can't think of why, but I did pay dearly for it. My job also involves heavy usage of that arm, so I do think that added to the situation.
Invisible - Just virtual {{{hug}}} for making a difficult decision. Hopefully, your nearest and dearest will support your decision, and understand that it is YOUR decision to make. There is a relief in having a plan in place. I love what Jackie says above, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead and no looking back. !
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Lago - thanks you made me laugh out loud! I have often heard that expression and thought about it as I was entering my post...I did not have the courage to actually say it. I think I will find out who my true friends are.
Jackie - it was my gut that was telling me what to do. My emotions kept getting in the way. I am 60 years old and have lived my entire life listening to my gut and following what it told me. When I ignored it (LOL mostly bad choices in men) I paid the price. You are so right. I feel so much more peaceful now.
Bogie - I completely understand how you feel. I don't think I could do it either. The sheer raw emotion has been so hard for me to deal with. I can't imagine opening that up...on film.
Thanks to everyone for being here for me. I believe in the power of sisterhood.
Cathy
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that's Cisterhood with a big "C" ♥ ♥ ♥
Glad I made you laugh. Laughter is the best way to get through this. Before we got married we had to meet the Rabbi. He asked us what it was about each other that was so important. One of the things I said about my husband was "he makes me laugh." Wouldn't you know the Rabbi mentioned it at the ceramony… how important it is to go through life and be able to laugh.
and he still does make me laugh.
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Cathy - I had a neighbor that told my DH that we were doing the wrong thing and we needed to fly to Houston to see a different Dr. My DH told him to "Get the #%$^% off our property". Yikes! DH was mad! It surely wasn't what we needed to hear at that time. My family was very supportive with all my decisions.
I havent' posted in awhile - I try to check in every few days but then usually I am so far behind that I just can't catch up. I hope everyone is doing well!
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Oh Connie, how well I understand the inability to get caught up on this thread! I still haven't gotten caught up from my Florida trip.
Valerie, I noticed that you are from Homewood and I'm so jealous! You have the world's best pizza place in the U.S. there.........Aurelio's. (in my humble opinion, of course) We lived in Macomb for nearly 20 years and had an Aurelio's there. I still go back there for pizza "fixes!"
Jackie, thanks for the warning about the ticks. I'm out in the woods alot this time of year. So far I haven't spotted any but I'll keep my eyes peeled now.
Joan...yea! Down to one drain! It won't be long now!
The decisions we make as we travel this journey are indeed hard and only we can make them. Most of us have made the decision that we feel is the best for us and then we surge onward, without letting others create doubt or indecision. I really thought the decision-making process was one of the hardest parts of this journey.
Well, we're going out to celebrate two birthdays of gals in our golf group tonight and I need to get moving away from this computer. Everyone have a great weekend.
Rita
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I'm feeling totally down today. Feeling out of control. I finished chemo on Tuesday and have my exchange on this coming Thursday. Before I knew what was coming up but now I have to wait until june4th to find out what the plan of attack is. I hate feeling like I'm in limbo.
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Lisa I hate when this happens. I too had to delay my exchange 6 weeks because of shingles. It's always something. But look at it this way. Better to have some more time after chemo to be sure your counts are up for surgery. 0 -
Ya but it's the limbo between the exchange and the next appointment. Which I should get my scrip for tamoxifen.
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Cathy-great news. I know I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders when I made my decision (also BMX), even though I knew there was a lot more to do. This is YOUR decision, if others don't like it, they can lump it.
Lisa-sorry your feeling down and your exchange is postponed-hang in there. (((hugs))) Like your new picture!
Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sorry but I think I gave you all the wrong impression. I got my exchange sooner then I thought due to my left TE leaking. I go back to work may 7th.
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Lisa -- it's a tricky time when you go from being seen by the doctor every week, then it starts to, stretch out. They have a class at our wellness center to help with the transition, called "On the Mend". It was great, connecting with other women who were in that transition time, where you are done with the intensity of chemo and radiation...... I attended that class and found it helpful.
Trivial problem alert..... why is it that while I am unemployed, our water heater broke down, our plumbing completely let us down in our 1928 house, and required several hundred dollars of work to repair, since water was coming from the light fixtures.... and now my dishwasher has died. All in three months!
Hate to make you guys jealous, but I can walk to Aurelio's from my house.....
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Well.....Lisa, I say when the going gets tough, forget the dishes and a bath due to rotten plumbing.....and go get pizza. Well, if the third time is the charm, you don't have to worry about anything else. It is a bummer though.....just a few challenges to keep you on the edge and not getting too comfortable. Hope all goes well.
LisaK....I love the new avatar too.
Hugs, Jackie
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LisaMomOfFour, I can relate to the everything-breaking-down-going-wrong syndrome! But mine happened while under treatment for bc. The worst was when someone cut off my catalytic converter off my SUV during radiation treatment. (Druggies sell them for scrap metal for $50 - 100.) It was in the shop for three days. Let's see, take a combo of 7 bus and "L" rides and go to work and treatment spending all day on CTA, or taxis for $$$$$, or skip work and only 4 legs of public transportation. All for 5 minutes of treatment! Did the latter.
When it happened again recently, I decided to turn it into an empowering experience. I drove my car onto a ramp, crawled under and installed a CatClamp over the new converter. Power drill, 25' of steel cable, and black lace panties hiding my butt crack above my old baggy jeans. I worried about this triggering LE, but it didn't. Now I feel I can do anything after bc!
Maybe I should finally get to repairing my oven. You can see baking is not my thing.
Never eaten at Aurelio's, but have seen then around. Will try it sometime.
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Doxie and Lisamomof four, when I was recovering (and paying a lot of medical bills) we had plumbing issues and oven and one car needing repairs. Why is that? If I fixed everything it would be about $9000 so it hasn't fully gotten done to this day. I would rather spend that money on vacation.
LisaK are you worried about starting the tamoxifen or not being on the tamoxifen. They want you to wait until after surgery because it can cause blood clots, so you need to be moving around. I have been on tamoxifen since June and haven't had much trouble with it, so don't assume you'll get the bad side effects.
Invisible I am glad you are getting to a peaceful place. Making the decision is the worst part. I did still have some moments of "Can I really do this" thoughts afterward, but overall not as bad as making the decision. Ignore what others who haven't had breast cancer think. They can make their breast cancer decision when they have it. You have made yours.
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It did seem that diagnosis came to many of us at a financially difficult time. (We were both out of work when I was diagnosed. Yikes). Anyway I got boobie prizes instead of all the other stuff we needed. There really isn't ever a good time to be diagnosed. 0
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Couldn't decide....so two quotes today. I have always loved Corrie Ten Boom and her story.
Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before. -James Buckham
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. -Corrie Ten Boom
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Wow, lago. That had to be so difficult to deal with. Just one or the other is huge load to carry. In earlier posts I gathered that you did have health insurance? I am single and terrified of being unemployed, even though I have a very secure job, knocking on wood at this moment.
Jackie, great quotes. I've pretty much passed through the bc struggles, but need to write these on my arm to get through the drama at work these days.
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It's been 6 months since I was diagniosed. Really that long ago. Seems like forever.
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