Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hello everyone. I have nothing to add to the discussion, but I am reading it with interest .... and thinking and learning.
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Sally
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Yey peeps, me either, hope everyone is ok happy Monday
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hi - guess its Tuesday... still in Cape Cod with DH on business -- I am relaxing. Weather not great. Better Tuesday i hope.
No laptop - it crashed and I sent it out to recover my pics and files. Am on phone and hard to read and type.
Will borrow laptop tomorrow and try to catch up.
Wishing everyone a good week.
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Okay, going back here..... Carole, yes I
know......... but it's okay.... I think because I love them both so much!My GS would never say anything against his Mom to
me.... In fact I can't imagine what the whole rage thing is about.... other than
maybe the drugs taking over his brain? He sounds so NORMAL when I talk to
him...And yes, I can be on both of their sides... I
mean love them both for different reasons... I would never say more than "He is
really being a little shit, and I wouldn't have anything to DO with him, until
he straightens up!"But today the "Dad" is coming here.... the one who
just sticks his head in the sand and pretends this doesn't involve
him.And I WILL mention to him something like YOU GUYS
ARE TOGETHER IN THIS, AND BOTH OF YOU HAD BETTER FIGURE OUT HOW TO HELP YOUR
SON, BECAUSE NO-ONE WOULD TALK TO MY HUSBAND LIKE YOUR SON IS TALKING TO HIS
MOM! HE SHOULD STAY AWAY UNTIL YOU CAN GET HIM HELP.... BOTH OF YOU.....
TOGETHER ! DAMNIT!NOT JUST YOU BEING HIS BUDDY.... YOU BEING HIS
DAD!STAY TOGETHER FOR THIS ONE, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL
TEARING EACH OTHER APART!I can do it...
Yes, morning Sally.... I learn a lot here too,
just by listening, and thinking, MAN, that could be MY family.... Ha!0 -
People are saying that I am the enemy of just laws, of family ties andold tradition. These people are telling the truth. I do not love man-made laws . . . I love the sacred and spiritual kindness which should be the source of every law upon the earth, for kindness is the shadow of God in humans. Khalil Gibran
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Great thinking Chevy. When people marry they are to be as one -- we need to support each other with all decisions as much as we can --- I think even more so with other family members.....can't have the divide and conquer thing going on.
I know you can have a wonderful friend-like relationship with your kids and nothing wrong with that but basically I never looked at it too much like that. I didn't feel it was my position as mother be a friend......I felt more that I was a teacher and protector and needed to set standards and boundaries. We can be VERY friendly at the right times --- but I think we should be something even deeper to our off-spring than a friend.
Blessings
Jackie
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Chevster,
You are only hearing your "hot headed" ( your description ) DD side of the story.
Your son in law is on vacation. Do you really think, telling him to scold his 28 year old son is helpful? Does the GS have a history of problems, like with the law? Does he support himself?
Moving that close to his parents was probably a mistake. I hate to say it again, but your DD is controlling, you, her family, probably your other DD. Give your son in law a break, put out a little food and listen to his golf stories....add a cocktail to the get together & have fun with him.....
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Jackie, I love Gibran's words, " ... kindness is the shadow of God in humans."
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OK here I am----there are always 3 sides to every story----One side, 2 sides ---and the truth---so it's hard to get involved if u don't really see all sides I think. But knowing me I probably would talk to my one SIL cuz we're close, but the other SIL I wouldn't so maybe it depends on knowing the person as a person, I don't know----It's like when my SIL warms us my DD has her "lady days"--Joey's yelling OMG while he's running in his room, I'm really closing my door and my SIL finds some project to do--this lasts about 2 days and I really didn't know how bitchy she is until I saw it myself. I wouldn't have believed this. She thinks we're all lunitics and we mke a big deal cuz she's just tired. No NO--all wrong. All right I'm not comparing this at all Chevy, I'm just saying everyone has their own thinking about any situation. And u said when u'r GS talks to u he sounds good???? Just so hard.
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HoleinOne, I have played in some golf tournaments. I'm a member of two women's golf organizations. One is made up of women who play at about 6 or 7 different golf clubs. Each year we have a planned event at each of the golf courses. I also belong to the women's group at the country club at which dh and I are members. We have weekly golf events with various formats. And I have a Friday golf group. So I usually play twice a week and about once a month I play three times in a week.
To date, I have NOT had a hole in one. But I've been present when others have made holes in one. I HOPE I have one before I have to put away the clubs!
DH and I played today. It was a gorgeous day for being outdoors. Afterwards we drove into Park Rapids and had lunch at a café we really like. It's called The Good Life Café. I had the walleye BLT and it was delicious.
Chevy, I think you've probably had enough input from all of us. I'm confident your instincts as a mom, grandma, and mother-in-law will guide you.
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No Carole! I LOVE you gals input.... SIL came over today, and we had a beautiful day! We drove up to Echo Lake, and had great sandwiches! DIDN'T SAY A WORD ABOUT ANYTHING GOING ON! I was sooooooo glad!
Honestly it IS up to them.... I am here, thank God, and I couldn't do anything about anything anyway! So nothing was even mentioned! We all just had a great time! I walked a ways around the Lake with Janie, but DH and our SiL walked around the whiole thing! We walked back to the Lodge and waited for them!
Then we drove up to Central City to visit his Sister, and that was fun too! Now we are home, and they are all gone.... just plain old tired! Ha!
HIO! Thanks.... I kind of thought that too.... WTH? I can't help anyway, right? We really like the guy.... never done anything to us.... if he and his wife can't get along, that's their problem.... I would never interfere.... Because as sure as you do, then they are back together, and you wind up the bad guy! I've seen that happen before too.
I have to call Theresa's DIL to see how she is doing.... I just miss her.
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Hmmm.. Hole in one golf term or breast description?
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Could apply either way, couldn't it?
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Carole, so glad you had a nice day for golf. Will you be staying in your current place for most of your vacation? It does sound ideal.
Chevy, you are so right about trying to stay neutral. It is hard, but we always seem to be dammed if we do or if we don't, right?
I had great weather in Cape Cod today and found a nice beach...brought the umbrella so I could stay as long as I wanted and picked up some yarn to crochet. So relaxing! I had a big plan for tomorrow but am thinking of doing more of the relaxing instead.
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I always thought it was a humorous play on words, but now with all the golf talk I'm not so sure which she had in mind. Or maybe both.
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People who soar are those who refuse to sit back,
sigh, and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they will not allow life's circumstances to push them down and hold them under.Charles Swindol
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Wow !!! something else to think about. Hole-in-one. I think mine is just a semi-major indentation, but never-the-less. Every time I "notice" it I feel a sort of a sense of relief. I did what seemed the right things at the time and here I am. Truth was with the changes that come with age -- that's called droop and sag, by the way......I don't think there is anything to get excited about. I look nearly the same....just with an indentation added to the droop and sag.
Ah, you just have to make some things all right...and so they are.
I'll be back later. Have to Bill ( the black Lab Retriever ) to the doggie beauty shop for a much needed summer shave -- leaving tail hair. He looks so comfy when it is done. The groomer will give me a snarl or two....all which I ignore. Probably keeps us both sane.
Blessings
Jackie
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Jackie,I agree.....dimple, sag, dent, whatever....IT is gone!
Ohio (Bonnie)
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Hello all,
When I signed up for BCO, last Nov. I was very sick. In my last month of dose dense chemo. I wished I had found this web site when dx, but oh well.
I was trying to think of a user name, trying to stay positive, & think of all the wonderful things I might do, if I survived this legal torture. Hence hole in one. Would love to say I was witty enough to think of the play on words concerning my lumpectomy, but I did not. I was pleased when someone brought it to my attention on these boards.
Carole, sounds like you have lots of golf options & places to participate.
Chevster, happy you had a fun, stress free time with SIL... You both deserve it.
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We really did HIO! Nothing was brought up, and if it would have, I would have changed the subject.... It's just not any of our business, other than to listen.....
I talked to Theresa's Son, and he says she is doing alright, so far.... That he took his Mom and Dad to the dining room together for dinner....
He told me to come up and get their wind-chimes, and another "Sun" that is on their porch..... and he is going to clean out their basement eventually, and will call us to see if there is anything we want.... It's just kind of lonely without her being there!
Are you doing okay? You are still in this pretty new.... Hope you are doing alright..... xoxoxoxo
Carole, our SIL is in several golf tournaments while he is here! He loves playing with his buddies.... He has even traveled to England to play there, where they just had that tournament! He LOVES it, and they live on a golf course in Orlando....
We used to love watching our Grand-sons play golf! I remember taking the youngest.... He must have been about 9, to Indian Tree for his first tournament. He was so nervous I thought he was going to throw up! So I stopped at McDonalds, got him his favorite breakfast, and while he ate, I just talked and talked about how nervous I used to get before my dance recitals! So he played........ AND WON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess how proud I was? Also, that trophy was the biggest of all the trophies he has won! He still remembers that day..... me too!
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HIO that was a perfect way to get your name. I had never used a blog.....for anything before. I had been using a computer for some time which was a darn good thing. So, I don't think I really even considered that I would NEED a name. Well I did a mad scramble and used my state name and lady.....which I sort of felt like fit me better. I was older....girl or woman seemed " too young" and thinking past that was just too hard. I wasn't sure I'd be able to USE a blog anyway.
Glad I chose the name, but it wasn't my most creative endeavor. I could have just used my first name like many here do. I don't know why I thought you should not identify yourself too much. Anyone who really wants to can find out almost as much as they want to about you anyhow....but it seemed the thing to do.
Chevy - sounds like Theresa will be doing fine in no time. It is different.....having to learn about the care-givers she will see every day. She will have to learn the " sounds" of the place, during the day as well as, at night. Used to the food.....well, its a big change and lots to discover and learn. Hopefully, being with her husband will get her over the worst humps and she will be pretty fine with everything soon. Sure hope so.
Still waiting for our rain which may or may not come. As long as it stays all right outside I'll be fine with it.
How are you doing Blondie.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Here is something I ran into and I decided I liked it --- because it makes as much sense as anything.
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Thanks Jackie! Funny, how I miss her! She just got to be like a pest, atter awhile, but I must have changed, because I eventually felt sorry for he, and just wanted to help. I walked up there, to get the "Sun"...... But it was so high up, I think I'll ask Steve to get it down, along with her wind-chimes, and just put them in a bag, and I can pick them up....I DID get a string of clay peppers, and a little planter that hangs on the outside wall....
I knew those things were there, but didn't want to ask her... She was losing too much as it was.... Her phone should be connected by the end of this week.... Maybe we'll stop in and see her tomorrow!
I have to make a Wal-mart run to pick up another set of external speakers for this computer... Only one works, so that means the ear-buds only get sound in one side...
So we can stop by & see her then!
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Some of those senior facilities with the different lifestyle levels--independent living, assisted living, nursing care--are very nice. We have one near us in LA that was built by the Episcopal church. It is lovely but pricey. I had lunch there with one of the residents in the independent living and the dining room was like a nice restaurant with uniformed waiters and good food selections.
Today dh and I went out on the lake fishing. It was a beautiful morning, cool and sunny with a breeze. While we were anchored and watching our bobbers bob about peacefully with no hungry fish in evidence, a loon floated up so close I could see the red of his/her eye. When he/she dived down and surfaced seconds later, I saw a tiny fish in the bird's beak. The loon was far more successful than we were! I'm sorry I didn't get a picture to share. For those who have never seen a loon, they are beautiful and quite large, with mostly black and some white feathers. They make a distinctive warbling sort of sound in flight.
Later at a different anchorage, an eagle flew overhead and we could clearly see his white head and white tail feathers!
THEN... when I was walking for exercise after we'd returned to the campground, a young deer sprang around the road, stopped and looked at me a long moment before bounding off into the woods.
So it has been a good "nature" day!
Chevy, glad you enjoyed the visit with your SIL. You sound much happier than you were a couple of days ago.
Hi to everyone, especially Blondie.
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I have a question for all you cat people I have a female almost a year old and want to get another one, should i get a male or female?
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I had two males, both neutered. But I don't know if it matters as long as mating is out of the picture. I'm sure Jackie will know.
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Blondie...makes no difference as long as they are spayed or neutered. They should be ( no matter what sex they are, be "fixed". They make better house=bound pets. Do bring the newcomer in slowly. If you have a room that the new cat can be in for a few days before an actual face to face meet-up that would be good. Gives both cats time to 'get' to know each other a little before-hand. They will have to snarl a little possibly anyway as their is a pecking order to be adhered too. Once that has been established, they will likely start to seek each other out of play.
Don't be put off by all the noise and hissing and other signs they might show at first.....most of it is meant to get the pecking order dealt with and seldom results in more than sounds of possible feline murder. It is just how they do it. We brought a guy in a little way back ( praying it is our last ) and the pecking has not taken place. I think his stance is --- I'm ignoring all of you because I never had to put up with "litter-mates" before and I'm not going to now. So, he ignores all the others. If they come too close he hisses at them and they go away.
It should work out fine.
Blessings
Jackie
Carole what a fantastic day. Being a nature/wild life lover, it would have seemed like a glimpse of heaven to me. One of the biggest reasons after the solitude, that I love living where I do is that we are seldom without something to watch and enjoy. Even though the deer chew on what few yard plants I have......it is usually ok with me. Hard to be upset when you see eight to twelve deer meandering around your yard. They are so gorgeous. There is a Mom who has been coming with her baby....nothing cuter than a little fawn full of spots or bably freckles.
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hi Ladies,
Chevy, glad you enjoyed the visit with your SIL.Carole, glad you are enjoying your vacation. It sounds so relaxing
I have been reading all the entries but have not had a lot of time to write in. I have been going to physical therapy afte work for the pain in my knees. The dr says it is arthritis(sp) but I am beginning to wonder. My co-teacher is on vacation and I have other people helping in the classroom so it sure makes a different since the kids are trying to get away with things.
We have a new member in our family. She was born the end of June and she is beautiful. She is very tiny at 6 lbs and 6oz. Everyone says she looks like her daddy(which is does) So far her big sister is doing ok with her. this is the ds and dil that dwere told they would probably never conceive after going through all the things they have gone through to have a baby. They adopted a beautiful baby 4 years ago and finally gave up on having their own and what a surprise for everyone when they told us they were expecting.
Guess I should close for now. I hope everyone is having a good week.
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Termite....congratulations on the new little grand one. How fantastic for you and very much for her parents.
Hope you are able to discover what to do to get relief from your knee issues. Thinking of you.
Jackie
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