Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Jackie, yes! I forgot about a "payee"..... My Brother's Son, who lost his way, due to just never having to take charge of himself, and got on disability, finally had to have a Payee to distribute his money, better than what HE was doing with it.... He was drinking and smoking it all up within the month, and then homeless the rest of the time.
FIRST it was his Mother, then she gave up, and his older Sister Laura, became the one watching out for him.... got him off the streets, and a place to live, and doled out his money, so he couldn't GET it, and spend it when it came every month!
She is my little Niece who passed away from Breast, then lung, then brain cancer.... So then the guy found out he could live with various women who had his babies.... Now I heard he is living with one of his Daughter's!
My Brother just said "enough is enough!" It is his life, and we are done! We can't do anything more for that kid.
NOW Kenny is raising his Grandson.... Laura passed away when he was 16.... So since HIS Dad is in a 1/2 way house, my Brother is taking care of him, and NOW he has a job, a car, and is doing VERY well! He went totally nuts after he lost his Mom..... but my Brother is being everything he needs..... Helping him, and just teaching him responsibility..... and loving him......
Anne..... I hope your Daughter does everything she HAS to do to make sure she and her Son are safe....... It doesn't matter now, WHAT Doug wants.... He is not her problem. Nor yours!
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Hi to "oldies" friends! Today was moving day. We headed northeast to Grand Marais, MN, which is WAY UP NORTH on the Lake Superior northshore. Tomorrow we're leaving the camper here in the municipal rv park and driving up into Canada to Thunder Bay, Ontario. There we'll visit Patricia and her dh and possibly their grown daughter. I met Patricia on bc.org back in 2009 when I was dx'ed with bc and had surgery and reconstruction. Since then I have visited her in Thunder Bay and she and her dh have visited us in Louisiana.
Hope the cruisers are having a great time.
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Carole, hope you have a grand time in Canada. Used to go often ( first husband's mother was French Canadian so we went often. From Detroit, and took the tunnel underneath the Detroit river. Two-lane tunnel and always exciting with drops of water running down the walls all the time. It is one of those things that when you get my age you sort of think.....wow !!! What was I thinking ??? Drip, drip, drip.
Enjoy.
Jackie
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Anne - I agree w/Chevy. He should not be your problem or your daughters. It might even be a good idea to have her lawyer ask for supervised visits right now. And I still think a restraining order is a good idea. I would NEVER let him in the house again for any reason. If he is going to see his son with no restraints, someone should walk the boy out to his car or they should meet at a restaurant for the "hand off". Sorry, I guess I'm just not as "nice" as as many of you, and surely not as patient anymore. After all this time, sounds to me like protecting your DD & Grandson physically & emotionally should be the only goal.
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N no one should b alone with him either
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Good Morning to everyone,
Anne, I agree with the other ladies. the first prioritie is for your DD and Grandsons physical and emotional safety.
Carole, have a save trip and enjoy Canada. I spent a summer there when young with my older sister and her family when they were transferred there for his work. I loved it there.
Well, I talked with my director and my hours will be changed back to their original time. She said she should have talked to me before changing them (they changed my co workers hours w/out talking to her about them also until she finally complained about it about a year ago) so I will work this week at these hours and then will go back to the original time. I told her once in a while if they need the hours covered for some reason fine but not every day;
We are having very warm weather here. Seems like we have the heat just as school is beginning each year.
We use to go to Riverview Park by Chicago when we were younger. It was fun with all the rides and I loved the rollercoasters. It was torn down a long time ago. But we have a lot of fun memories from there.
Hope everyone has a good day!
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Morning gals.... Isn't it funny, that me, especially find that I DON'T have as much patience anymore with stupid behavior!
Wren, it's like we can see through all the baloney, and can feel what is going on, and what is in the back of someone's mind. Same with the celebrities and singers.... We just don't have any use for people using other people, and their "It's all about ME" personalities.
Anne, we don't really KNOW what that Dink is doing, or thinking, other than what you are saying, but Blondie is also right.... No-one should be alone with him....! Even if he is sober, and not on drugs, his mind is still "working on" how he can get what he wants. I would just be afraid for all of them....
Going Monday to try and get these tax worries taken care of. SOMEone made mistakes with the Investments, and not sending ME the right info to take up to the guy that prepared them last year, so hopefully I can get this off my little brain! I'm just too old, to try and figure out what THEY are talking about, and why it wasn't done right in the first place.... I feel sorry for folks like my OWN parents, and Grand-parents who were always trusting other people to work things out for them!
Morning Jackie, Carole and Termite too! Ha! That sounds like a rhyme or something!
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The wildflowers provoke me to remember the steadiness of return, year after year. They tell me that one does not need to be cultivated to be beautiful. They tell me that the soul remembers its essence, if it is given room to grow. . . . These gentle flowers remind me that we surrender to no one finally but to our own soul, to the essence of ourselves, which is hidden in God. Sweet and wild is the experience of surrender. There is nothing more intimate.
Gunilla Norris0 -
We sent our son to a therapeutic boarding school when he was16 because his behavior was destructive to himself and others. It was such a challenge to do as a parent. It ultimately saved him and his dad and me and our marriage. He chose to sign himself out at 18. Because we had a contract as part of the therapeutic process, we did not allow him to come home. Hard love is hard on everyone. He was absent from our lives for a couple of years as he mooched off everyone he knew til he hit bottom. He came back and we've assisted him with school. We had agreed to help with school and living expenses for 4 years. He didn't take anything seriously. Now, he is paying for school with grants and loans, doing well, supporting himself (not in the manner he was accustomed to), and is in a steady relationship. Hopefully, he will finish school since he's finally growing up. We all do, just not at the same pace. Life is not easy.
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Found myself shaking my head yes about all of the posts this morning. TERMITE, I am so glad that you were able to find good resolution to the work situation. It was a bit of an upset to go through at first, but all's well that ends well -- and it sure seems this is going to.
Chevy -- maybe we are all patient about many things but soooo not patient about those who don't seem to know anything but me! me! me! We just want things to be good and often will let the rug roll out quite a way before we have to just STOP. I hate to admit it, but sometimes ( my own kind of denial ) it seems to take me quite a while to GET IT !!!! I feel pretty dumb when I finally realize I just have to say Uncle now.
I truly am sorry that you are caught up in this tax thingy.....it likely jostles all the same way. Who wants to feel that they have to "tangle" with the government???? Also, then you worry about being audited all the time after that.
It does sound like more of a clerical mix-up though your "nerves" aren't too much soothed over that. Still, that, and as well a positive record before-hand, as well as age etc. Just thinking that it sounds as though it can be set to rights without extreme damage or life upset. Well, I guess it does show that no matter how hard you try ( or in this case trust your tax experts ) things can go wrong. I know that I ( though we have trusted completely from the get-go ) do always feel a little apprehension around tax time. Not only about possible mistakes, but changes in some laws that could actually have an adverse effect.
Tax people have seminars every year that they attend so that they know what new laws have been put into place since the last "tax season" and can get their software in order if need be.
A couple of my BIL's always let their BIL ( their deceased sister's husband ) do their taxes with Turbo Tax --- so they can save the cost of any tax preparer. I don't care to have my BIL know my business and I would rather pay a person who goes to school yearly, than to take a chance on having a problem. We not only end up on a good time-table, but get our refunds ( we have been getting pretty good ones every yr. since the second yr. Pres. Obama has been in office ) quickly and effortlessly.
Not trying to say Turbo Tax is not ok...likely it is fine, but we were audited once and I am just a bit paranoid now. Fingers crossed early for you , Chevy.
Blessings
Jackie
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Teacher, sounds like your son is finally getting on with things. I really think ( though many get through it ) that it was a little harder for my kids, as well as their kids generations. When I went to school things were fairly cut and dried. Of course, I think mine was maybe the last generation pretty much that didn't get tooooo caught up in drugs and lots of rebellion.
It just wasn't allowable and while there was I think some "sneaking" going on, it was kept to a minimum for the most part and wasn't actually a part of the "daily" scene. My son went to a 'residential' school.....which he disliked just as much as 'regular' school. He was and is bi-polar ( really smart when he chooses to be ) and always seems to have SOME issue, but I gave him back to himself when we left California and he does ok, but I usually know when he is in the "lows" -- he usually calls then instead of using the computer. He is aware and gets through it, but I "worry a bit " while I'm waiting for things to move upwards again.
Teacher, I think ultimately your son will end up feeling good about life and good about himself. When you have to work for it -- it I think helps you to maintain your progress.
Jackie
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Rainy day here in Calgary...still in bed it's 9 in the morning...Need to get up and get moving..has anyone else had days like these?
Well I guess I will eventually..
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Yes, Valsa. I'm in rain country, and I like it BUT sometimes it is hard to do. Today my better half wants my help outoors in the cloudy/rainy stuff with a project that I think is really "iffy" (that he should have thought about doing about a month ago when it was still more summery here). I'd like to mail him to the moon.
AlaskaAngel
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Anne, I am hesitant to post because none of us know any of these people firsthand, and I really don't want you to feel overwhelmed by too many comments here, especially when none of us know your family firsthand.
But there is genuine fear among us about the circumstances.
When I look at other similar situations, which mostly come to light because a person with a history of poor judgement lost control, my thought is not only sadness and regret for those who suffered direct harm from that, but also I think about how much greater the damage was than it would have been had somone put in the time and effort to do what they could to prevent that. A long history of dealing with it over and over makes it harder to continue to make that effort. One justifiably gets tired of it. All of that makes more and more people back off from it. And the direct target makes efforts to keep it from being a burden on others as the problem gets worse.
So at the risk of "ganging up" here with others -- which is not all what we want to do in providing support to you -- I will agree with Blondie and Chevyboy's advice about it. No one wants to think things could get out of control. But the situation stands a fairly good chance of doing that.
A.A.
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Hi gals!
DD in Orlando sent me this.....
How much do we notice as we go through a day?????
Lisa Beamer on Good Morning America - If you remember, she's the wife of Todd Beamer who said 'Let's Roll!' and helped take down the plane over Pennsylvania that was heading for Washington, DC back on 9/11.
She said it's the little things that she misses most about Todd, such as hearing the garage door open as he came Home, and her children running to meet him.
Lisa recalled this story: "I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death,she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.
With a gentle look of reflection on her face,she paused and said, 'Class is over, I would like to share with all of you, a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important. Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves.
None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is Nature's wayof telling us that we must make the most out of every single day.Her eyes, beginning to water, she went on, 'So I would likeyou all to make me a promise.From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice.
It doesn't have to be something you see, it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it maysound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted.
The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester.Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook. Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset.
Yes Jackie.... I made an appointment with a regular Tax place, instead of anyone from AARP..... I don't know whose fault this was, but it wasn't mine, that's for sure... She seemed to understand what I was telling her.... so that made me feel a little better.... It will cost me between $75 and $100, but it will be worth it to me....
MAN, I'll be so glad when this is over.... Ha!
Teacher, that is a GREAT story! You really saved everyone! Not only him, and you guys, but everyone he came in contact with! My Brother had to do the same, finally, with his Son.... but in his case, he just keeps using anyone that will put up with it.
But my Brother and his wife, have closed the door on him. That's gotta be so HARD, but after he stole from them, lied all the time, and just NEVER took responsibility for anything, they just gave up.....He is about 53 now I think! SOME people NEVER learn, and they deserve to be out on the streets.... fending for themselves.
I'm not cold-hearted, but..... oh wait.... maybe I am....
But you just can't change some people..... My Brother always said, "What is?...... Is." 0 -
Sandra, I just updated the view from your floating palace and the weather there looks the same as here so maybe you and Di are getting close. Are you all thoroughly wined and dined yet?
As I understand it the plan is to meet everyone at 10 AM tomorrow at the Cape Fox, right?
Looking forward to a lovely jabber in person,
A.A.
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Chevy, your post was a great reminder to look and listen around us and to smell the roses or in my case the sweet allysum as it's the best scent in the garden (my roses have no scent) ... kind of like the "mindfulness" that I have been reading about in a Pema Chodron book.
I have been lurking and wanted you all to know that I am thinking about all of you. Sweet dreams tonight to all.
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Chevy -- I might have read something similar to that some time back, but it is so very, very true. We think we are small and insignificant, that we can't make a difference --- that because we can't do something really large, we stand little chance of getting recognition in any way.
Well, that is simply not true. Just by noticing things you might walk passed everyday, or just by choosing to concentrate on some music that is playing......your heart can just soar, because you made a viable choice to see just a little past beyond where you had been looking most of the time.
As much as that, is the ability to choose to smile at someone, or to ask someone around you if they need help with a package, or to put a cheery little note in a library book that you are returning.
There are lots of ways to have a "positive" effect on the world......and none of it need ever be your discovering the cure for cancer ( thought you would indeed end up a very loved person ) which is huge and almost overwhelming. It is the million little things that make the world a far, far better place -- and we can do all of that easily and gently and resoundingly while were trying to keep up with a butterfly or studying the beauty of a rainbow. Life is good and we can find millions of little ways to make it better. Sure glad you put that piece in Chevy.
Blessings
Jackie
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Morning gals... Jackie, Lilgoats posted this on the Insomnia thread...
For a number of years I read Sarah Ban Breathnach's book "Simple Abundance" every day. She was a freq. guest on Oprah in the mid 1990s. Gotten out of the habit. She has several entries addressed to the ordinary day and appreciating them. One of them about 7 women killed in a commuter jet crash. It makes me cry even now.
"Today might be tough for you. You might not want the next moment to show itself, to reveal the twists and turns of life's mystery. But at least you have it. You still have life. A choice as to how you will live this precious day.
Don't wish it away. Don't waste it. For the love of all that's holy, redeem one hour. Hold it close. Cherish it. Above all, be grateful for it. Let your thanksgiving rise above the din of disappointment -- opportunities lost, mistakes made, the clamor of all that has not yet come.
And if today is so horrendous that the gift doesn't seem worth acknowledging; it you can't find one moment to enjoy, one simple pleasure to savor, one friend to call, one person to love, one thing to share, one smile to offer; if life is so difficult you don't want to bother living it to the fullest, then don't live today for yourself.
Live it for Nancy, Cheryl, Valerie, Kathleen, Gilda, Elizabeth and Patricia." From Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach"
I just thought this was beautiful.... Now I have to go out and watch the sunrise, with a nice cup of coffee!
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People spend their lives in anticipation, in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. . . . We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.
Charles Caleb Colton0 -
Absolutely -- we need to enjoy the moments. They will become long seconds stretching into minutes. And share it all with the world or those around us by just radiating love and care every where we go......it changes things for the better. When we make the world better for us -- we make it better for everyone.
Love you all
Jackie
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Jackie, you are sooo cute! It's like you and I are the only ones on here.... Ha! Just like one other time.....
Isn't it nice to be in a peaceful place? And everyone likes each other......0 -
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This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good, but what I do today is important, because I am exchanging a day of my life for it! When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something that I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, and not loss; good, and not evil; success, and not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I have paid for it.
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Good Morning Ladies---Wow I missed so much and of course I can't remember much so here goes.
AA and Val we're getting no rain yet but it's no doubt going to start soon.
Chevy those cars were great, those guys had lots of ba--energy to get in them.
Carol I thought u were on u'r way home but happy Canada and u sound like u'r having a great time too--How nice it is to still meet up with a BCO sister.
Termite I'm glad u got u'r hours fixed. And remember the BOBS at Riverview Park OMG that was like the scariest Roller coaster and we'd go every summer but I wasn't allowed on that one. Tht was our big fun and some lake I think it was in Wauconda we'd spend a few days there. I live outside of Chicgo now my DD1 works Downtown, but I never go there myself.
Chevy and Jackie u two have been really been adding a lot of thought provoking words to our thread--ver interesting and very true.
BTW Chevy now don't try to be like Jackie she's our completely sane one long with Carole, know u, Jackie will be changed not u. We need level here and u'r tipping things over.
Blondie (HUGS)
Sally are u doing all right?
Anne I agree with the gals, no one is preaching we re just concerned and want things to be in order so u don't have to worry either.
Teacher what u did for u'r son was great, it's not easy to make those decisions And a lot of parents don't mke any decisions---but see how it paid off?
It's muggy hot here today, but supposed to change in the next couple of days to cooler, watch it'll be around 50.
My computer isn't running 100% yet so I'm not on it as often and take turns with what I've been going on and haven't been on FB in a few days but had to be on Email yesterday----CHEVY goofy tax problems It amazes me how people who are living comfortable but not going to France and Italy for vacations get looked at the most. My parents were audited one, it was a mess--and they had there's done, but my mom took me with her and 0OK shut up Chevy) I was telling the auditor where his mistake was--That's when I had a brain--it was stupid ciz from then on my parents had me do their taxes-I hated that crap cuz I had to read what no one understands every year cuz they would change it. Now I read a children's book and don't know what I just read.
I had my "D" a couple of times this week which knocked me out--so I was crabby too nd I completely stay by myself--well except for Joey, he rubs my back for me. And of course I was glued to the TV yesterday for Joan Rivers they had a day of remembrance on E--I just watched her the other day and was so shocked --she went in a clinic for a simple procedure kind of like an endoscopy only for her vocal cords---of course I always tend to think to much knock out stuff, but that cuz I think that way causing all kinds of trouble but for her was fatal. I watched her every week and enjoyed her show. It's sad to me.
If I missed anyone I'm so sorry but this is done by memory so I think u all understand/
K Oldies but goodies--have a good day.
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Ok gals, don't take it totally to heart. But, yes -- Chevy and I did pretty much keep this thread going after something of a blow-up went on.
I love that graphic. I have been taking ( it feels like anyway ) nutrition classes for some time now. It has some really good aspects for me to "redo" sometimes. I tend to be a bit slower on the learning curve than I once was -- so some info ( so often the things that it turns out I should be 'understanding' almost immediately ) just doesn't get there for awhile.
I know what to eat, but I'm still struggling with the cookies I love and the ice cream. So, while I have lost a fair amt. of wt. I can only ( this time anyway ) claim #38 of them. The other.....seems to be the same four or five that come on and go off according to if I have binged on my favorites.
Makes me wonder how much I would be down if I could just forget there is such a thing as cookies. Sigh !!!! I'll get there -- nothing is insurmountable, but losing wt. won't be near as fun without my favorite cheats -- urging me on.
Well, I just have to get with the program.
Jackie
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I loved your post Cammie. Wish you could come on more. If I had a 'good' computer I'd send it to you......fact is, once I touch them it seems easy for them to go on the downhill slide. Knock on wood....I haven't had to call my Microsoft service in two or three weeks. I don't know....I must be in a good spell with things. I do know that some things can I think sort of jump into your computer as updates are being installed.
I'm starting to learn to not install all the time when I see a prompt. I think when you do it manually yourself is when you are a little more apt to have the negative ( jump in on your installation ) type sneak in. Most of the stuff that is prompted will go in on its own later I believe if you just refuse to do it manually.
Computers....I'd be lost without mine but oh what a royal "stab" in the butt sometimes.
Jackie
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Hi ladies,
Sorry I haven't been on much, just taking time to adjust to being in Ga again, where the biggest stress of the day is deciding whether I need to make a trip to the grocery store.
Happy to say, that, for now, things are calm in Fl. Tim moved back home on Tues, with little fanfare. When Dougie got home from school (about 4pm) Tracy told him Uncle Tim would be home soon, he was picking Belle up from the groomers. Dougie's response was, " yeah, I know- he just passed me in his car". Done- life with Uncle Tim is back to normal. SpongeDoug has spoken to Dougie each night on the phone, which was the norm for 7 years of Dougie's life, and the few times Tracy has had to speak to him, he has been calm and rational. He has not made any attempt to come over, or see Dougie. He will pick him up after the school dance tonight for the weekend. Tracy will meet him at the school with Dougie's overnight stuff.
I had my infusion of Herceptin yesterday, and asked how many more I need. If my PET scan next Fri comes back clean, I will have my final infusion on Sept 25th, which is exactly one year to the day of my diagnosis. Then I will be free to plan my travels without having to think in 3 week segments.
The closer the PET scan gets, the more nervous I get. I SO want this to be over, but don't know that I will ever get to the point of not fearing its return somewhere.
I also have my PAP smear next Thurs. That has never been a big deal to me, but that is where this whole journey began.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend
Anne
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Called my onc this morning about being so weak and short of breath, figured I'd better touch base before going into the weekend. Nurse said PA said to just rest today, and if sx get worse over the weekend to call the on-call onc. So it looks like today is a recliner day, at least my concerns have been recorded.
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Puffin, Sorry about your SE's. Hope your SOB gets better, but you were wise to call the MO. Don't hesitate to call over the weekend if you feel the least bit uncomfortable. Shortness of breath is nothing to take lightly. Sounds like you are right on top of it. Good for you!I'm having some post-Taxol issues with my eyes. To make a long story short, had a painful procedure at the plastic surgeon ophthalmologist this morning and looking forward to a tear duct draining in the eye that's most affected on Sept 16. He admitted that putting novacaine in that eyelid will be painful - no kidding!! If anyone out there has also experienced clogged tear ducts from Taxol, please private message me. Thank you!!
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