Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Gorgeous beautiful day here.  My work for this week is done and I will not go back to the much abbreviated one that has become normal to me.  I got home at 1:20 a.m. in the morning and slept until about 8:15 --- wow - un-heard of for me.  But it felt good and though I likely will still feel a bit of that hang-over jet lag feeling --- I already am feeling the normalcy of doing everything I always do. 

A little late, but Blondie --  we are here to hold each other up.  Sometimes just having the freedom to give voice to deep or harsh concerns can lift a little off our shoulders.  Often too, when I am able to write things out to someone else -- it helps me with how I feel about a situation or deepens my resolve that I'm taking the correct attitude and stance about it all. 

We do care and though all of us likely wish we could do so much more to help -- we can listen and know we are not alone.  I have a son who lives on the street/river bottoms.  For years we had him in a residential school hoping to help him find the inspiration to be the best he could be.  Sadly, that turned out to be doing what he does not which is mainly nothing but traveling through life living on the street and often being a critical person.  His latest gig is being an Atheist and he has alienated his  Dad after a far too long time of making remarks about the wisdom his Dad has by believing in some nebulous person in the "sky".  

Kids are who they are -- and even though we wanted different and better for them -- until they want it to, we often have to stand back, hand it to God knowing we did our best -- and try not to feel unduly responsible got the poor choices and self destructive behaviors.  Some days all I can do for my kids is sent out lots of loving energies while praying that they be blessed with the good Lord's care. 

Joan, love those pictures -- what beautiful country where you were.  Hope you do have a safe trip home and no delays either. 

Chevy is I bet having the time of her life too.  In good ole Florida.  Well, maybe one day Dh and I will just have to get in the car and drive there and see some Florida sand. 

Hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful Sunday.

Blessings

Jackie

Val- I have added you to the birthday list. You have the same birthday as Sandra4611.

Anne

Love the aspens. Seeing them is on my bucket list.

Beautiful scenery picture, Joan.  AND you look too young to be among us oldies!!!

Blondie, I completely sympathize with your frustration and concern for babies being born into bad family environments.  I have shared stories about my niece who has mental problems and her three children.  My niece is 32 and is currently "hanging out" with a 26-yr-old boyfriend who isn't employed.  Hanging out means he's living in the house with her and the kids.  It will be a miracle if these children grow up and make something of themselves. 

Sandra, YAY on the re-scheduled surgery!  You have such a good attitude.

DH and I travelled three straight days.  Holland, MI, to Casey, IL.  Next day to West Memphis, where we stayed overnight at the Tom Sawyer Mississippi River Campground, located right on the big river.  Then yesterday we made it home about 3:30 pm.

Jackie, I thought about you when we were driving in IL and saw a sign for Centralia.

Everything seems ok with the house.  We had left the a/c on and set at 82 degrees, but the batteries in the thermostat went dead.  Fortunately the walls aren't mildewed.  We have no idea when the thermostat stopped working.  The good news is that the a/c is working now.  The temperature isn't brutal but it's very humid outside.

As always, it's overwhelming to think of all the work that needs to be done.  Clean the camper, do the laundry, clean the house, tend to the yard.  One step at a time! 

Hugs to all, but a special hug for Blondie.

Carole,

Welcome home!  That was a fast trip back.   I am so glad you didn't find damage from the humidity. You made me laugh--I will collect SS in December (and I am waiting for 66). 

Blondie (Sandy) it seems the stress is affecting many family members.  I know your grandson knows he is loved by you ... It os too bad innocent children have to witness such questionable role models. 

Rember your job is to take care of YOU to the best of your ability so you can be your best and take advantage of the good days.   And a little cake may even help

  Hang in there. 

We are driving home from the airport in NYC  -- the NY airports are in terrible shape and must be shocking to anyone who arrives from a beautiful clean airport like Denver.   

DH left my favorite quilted coat in the Denver airport - will try to get it back but small chance. I will survive without it.  

We looked at houses near our friends who live at 9,000 feet.  Just dreaming...

A gorgeous morning here again -- just about the right temp.  Early fall here is usually nice and relaxed.  I really don't like some of the changes like the grass growing brown and a whole lot thinner.  The slow growth is fine since the nuts, acorns and other assorted debris has to be blown down into the ravines on either side of us --- with two acres this can be quite a chores with the 60 to 70 trees that surround our property.  Still, I am thankful --- there is lots of time to plan some final times outside --  later having some hot chocolate on the deck and other little rituals to help us accept the coming winter.

Blondie--Sandra -- sweet lady, don't be sorry for complaining -- it is the very reason we lend our shoulders.  All of us have some sort of struggle going on and when we all stand together --- why it just makes a broad base for holding us all up when the going is harder than we wish it was.  We are all FREE to avail ourselves so do not feel one ounce of regret for giving us the privilege of sharing our love and care for you.  I know we all wished our magic wands worked better though.  In lieu of that -- just imagine we all have our arms out holding you up a bit. 

Joan -- drat about that coat staying at the airport.  They must have one heck of a lost and found room, don't you think?  It would be just the greatest thing if it found its way home to you, but I have to say as well that chances don't seem too high.  Just glad that you made it home safe and sound and didn't experience much for delay.  I think the Chicago airport is still a mess, but the repercussions to other areas and airports seemed to have settled well.

Forgot to say -- this time of year, with all the nuts and acorns falling from our trees is always a bit exciting.  We have a metal roof and it gets a bit noisy at times.  Went out a couple of days ago and it sounded like automatic shooting going on as nut after nut hit the roof in quick succession.  We have good insulation so though we hear it when inside, it is dull and doesn't get your attention like it does out of doors.

See you all later.

Blessings

Jackie

U all r so lovely, I treasure u. Thanks u, I am trying to focus on me, this stress is too much.  Unfortunately I wm staying I  my room not bothering with anybody, I need to go down the shore, thanks 4 helping me refocus

Xoxoxoxoxo

Crone, welcome to this site.  The people here have been big helps to me.  

Crone -- welcome, welcome.  I will be back later to talk but have to go to work right now.  Used up lots of savings ( translation -- everything ) doing a bout of cancer so I'm working....good thing I like it.  Anyway great women here so I'm sure glad you found us.  I'll be back later.

Blessings

Jackie

Hi Crone

Welcome to your new "best friends". You may not have a garden of your own, but you will find lots of gardeners here who will be happy to share their experiences, good and bad, with their gardens. Some even post pictures so we can all share the fun. 

We will also join you for lunch, or a cup of something warm, or a glass of wine while you read our stories and reply with your own.

Although our situations are different, I can relate to your feeling of having lost your life as you knew it. Their is no question that BC changes your life, but going through it without your BFF's makes it that much harder.

I have lived in Ft Lauderdale since 1973. I raised my family there, was very active at church, worked in a middle school for 15 years, where I made some close friends. In other words, I have a life there. About 4years ago, my oldest daughter and her family moved to the Atlanta area. I visited often for a couple of weeks here and there until my husband passed away two years ago. Then I started coming to Ga and staying for longer periods of time. While here a year ago, I realized I was overdue for all my medical check ups and decided to get them done while I was here. You can guess what happened, I am sure. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, and started chemo within 2 weeks. 

I was here in Atlanta for nine straight months, with one 1 week trip back home, shortly after the last chemo. I was so weak, I needed a wheelchair at the airport. And didn't see anyone but family that week. I was okay here while I was so sick, during chemo, after surgery and during radiation. My oldest daughter pampers me and her husband is wonderful. My two grandsons come to my room every night to watch TV with me. But, when I am feeling good (between phases of treatment), or like now- I am finished with all treatment unless I decide to do reconstruction, I feel totally alone. Both my daughter and her husband work full time, and of course both boys are in school. 

I grocery shop, and prepare dinner most days, but I have no friends or life here at all. I tried going to a church here, but met one couple in 8 or more visits. I went back to Ft Lauderdale for two months this summer and finally felt like I was home. I met friends for lunch, dinner or dessert. One of my daughters and her son, as well as my youngest son still live in the family home. My oldest son, who lives in South Carolina comes home each summer to run a local camp was there. Plus my other daughter lives in the area, and was over often with her 2 children. It was crazy, chaotic and wonderful. 

But, like you, when in Ga, I only hear from my friends if I initiate the call. I think I've made it clear that I have no life here and welcome calls whenever they have a few minutes, but I guess it's like the old saying- " out of sight, out of mind". 

Take the initiative if you need to. Send them emails filled with as much normal news as possible. Let them know that you are still you, that while cancer may have invaded your body, it hasn't stolen you. You are still you, still someone who loves to garden, and quilt, and go out for lunch. Find a way to participate in quilting without having to be on your feet so much - maybe preparing snacks and drinks, rather than actually quilting. Ask friends if you can help with their gardens. 

And when you have free time, make new friends with us. Tell us who you are, what you are doing, or have done. Bragging and /or sharing  problems with our children is a common topic here, as are traveling, cooking, exercising.Good news is always welcome, but bad news is greeted with empathy and hugs of support. Celebrations are shared, but we are also here for the "down" days. 

Looking forward to hearing from you, 

Anne

Crone - I usually read this thread but rarely comment.  I understand your pity party.  I have them frequently, too.  Several have sent good suggestions above.  I noticed you would like to quilt but the cutting is too problematic.  Have you tried pre-cut fabrics?  There are those packs of 2 1/2 inch wide strips.  You can make many beautiful designs with just the strips.  Also, several mail order quilt shops have pre-cut quilt kits.  Good luck with finding meaningful activities.  I know I'd be sitting on a cliff if I couldn't quilt.  My best, Jan

Happy Birthday, Teacher!!  Have a wonderful day!!!!

ohio  -  -  -  Bonnie

Crone,

I think Anne has touched on all the strong points here.  I am sorry that the people around you don't seem to get that you need the normalcy of their caring.  No matter what may be wrong with us --  we all need to find some assurance that we are cared for and appreciated.  Perhaps they see you as very, very strong -- as many in my family saw me.   Maybe as well you have always ( your letter sounds like it )  been competent about handling things. 

As Anne said -- we are always here and always willing to share your day with you.  My final thought is that many of those around you now that you are Stage IV just don't know how to handle things.  It is different this time -- and maybe they have some fears about the situation -- many may not realize that Stage IV people have so many, many treatment options now. 

In any case -- the door is always open here and we share almost anything at any time.  As well, we have our resident jokesters here ( Chevy & Cammie ) who should be able to bring lots of smiles to your face.  We even have a real clown here Mimi -- and we have Carole too who travels ( two here just met up on an Alaskan cruise ) , and so we take adventures with whomever is out and about somewhere.

We have Joan who is from NY and so we get to hear what is happening in that part of the world -- along with our Texas ladies ( Ft. Davis & San Antonio ) so we have a nice range  going of people and places.  We try to be good company. 

Hope you will come often and hang out with us. 

Blessings

Jackie

Well said, Jackie!

Welcome Crone glad you found us.

Carol glad you are home safe and sound.  Can't post for long have a cake in the oven.  We went to the Broom Shop today, but DH was not having a good day, so we came home, he needs some down time.

We are in the process of making Gepeto's broom for a gentleman in NY, NY.  It is real neat will post a pic.

Hope all are doing well.

Hugs