Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Mimi, I forgot to say that I love your idea of not taking pictures on your trip years ago but buying postcards and jotting down a journal on the backs of them.  How creative for a 22 yr. old!  And your visit with the old beau is material for a tv show or movie!  If I weren't so lazy, I might write the story!

Welcome Meriel, As you can see you have joined a caring and compassionate group who will offer support and TLC along the breast cancer journey. We are very glad that you reached out here and please keep us posted. The Mods

Di -- might be a bit before you find this, but sure thinking about you and hoping those antibiotics will help to get you on your feet again soon.  So glad you took that cruise......gives you good things to think about as you drift into some sleep or start waking up from some.  I'll be sending healing energies into the Universe to be sent directly to you. 

Blessings

Jackie

Jo, aren't all Papillion's spoiled rotten to the core and back.  My daughter has one  ( Georgie is black and white with very long ears )  and we all adore him.  He gets what he wants - almost always.

Jackie

g-mom -- Sigh !!!!  Just because anyone has to tackle this disease.  Hard to say just what will happen with you.  The Dr.'s you are seeing  on Monday should be able to share quite a bit of information with you by then based on the MRI and any other tests ( blood tests, biopsy, mammograms ). 

Hard to tell at this point what they might recommend.  You might want to take someone with you to take notes, and please don't be shy about asking any questions or asking for clarification about anything that isn't clear to you. 

Right now you will be gathering information and making decisions about how you will handle your diagnosis.  Hopefully, one of your Dr.'s nurses will have some literature, maybe even a couple of books ( mine did ) which will help you in formulating

 ideas and questions you need answered.  Dr.'s and nurses help guide us, but we make the final decisions.  I'm sure too there are  forums here with tons of information. 

One of things I can say is that I do think when we are older at time of diagnosis, we seem to be able to deal with some of the treatment aspects easier than some of the younger women.  

The other thing I think that is important is ( like anyone could ) try and relax, breathe deep, and remember that the beginning stages of a lot of diseases are difficult --  this one 'seems' more so sometimes because there is often a lot of fear.  All of us here felt it, yet we are here ( I was diagnosed 7 yrs. ago ) and we chose to stay here -- to help whomever we could and to share our everyday life too. 

Most of us started out the same way -- knowing very scant information about cancer, if any at all.  You will learn the terminology and once you have a pathology report, you will be able to plan ( with your medical team ) just what indicates to you as the right thing to do. 

Each person is a little different but there are protocols that will fit your situation and your Dr. will discuss them with you. 

I hope you will come back often.  This is a wonderful group of women -- and we are just the right age and well seasoned.  Good at hand-holding, excellent at caring. 

Blessings

Jackie

Welcome g-mom. I hope a wonderful friend steered you to this positive group of friends.  It is impossible for me to give you the information you need. I might not be the best anyway because many in this group have much more knowledge than me.  Once you have more information someone here can answer most of the things your doctors don't address. Or the things you just wonder about.  There are different types of breast cancer and if you really do have it, then you will be involved in choices about your treatment. My friends in real life recommended a book by Dr Susan Love called The Breast Book   Now in its fifth edition.  I purchased it electronically immediately and read the chapters that pertained to me. My surgeon knew it well and approved it as one she liked. It was informative but an easy book to read.  It gives good advice. I had great advice from my daughter, too.  This is like driving in dense fog. Go slowly only as far as you can see.  As you inch forward you will be able to see a little farther down the road.  Follow someone who is shining a light ahead if you can.  You will make it through the fog in that way. 

I asked my doc for an anti- anxiety med and know many people have done that, too.  Don't be afraid to ask if that seems reasonable to you.  Waiting for information can be so hard.  No matter what information you receive next week you will find someone here that has done it before and ready to listen, laugh or share their strategies to get through hard times.  This particular thread has women who are gentle, kind and talk about cancer when needed and life's burning questions about travel, pets, gardens, kids, grandkids or anything else.  wELCOME g-mom. There are several new people this week.  welcome all.  

By the way, people check this site at all different times of the day.  Don't worry if there are no new messages. Some of us are night owls and other are morning song birds.

Dear g-mom, Ruth, welcome
to Breastcancer.org. We're sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us!

Besides sharing your experiences and learning from other members here at the boards, you may also want to take a look at the Breast Cancer 101 section from the main site, which is designed to help you sort through all of the information on our site to find what is more relevant to you. 

Once you have a more detailed diagnosis you can post here on the forums and research both here and in our main site www.breastcancer.org .

Jackie's advice to take someone into the meeting with you to take notes is very valid as all the info gets confused very easily as there is so much new terms and details. Knowledge is very important to make informed choices and understand the process, so please ask lots of questions.

We wish you all the best.

The Mods

Crone: our camping has pretty much been uneventful, though had to be supervigilant in Australia camping near ponds that had crocodiles in them and shaking our shoes every morning to make sure no spiders or scorpions had crawled in overnight. Great photo of the waxwing feeding the baby, I've only seen photos of the male and female sharing a berry as part of their pair bonding.

IllinoisLady: it helped that my grandmother had done a lot of the genealogy researching that I was able to build on

My cancer center sponsored a Breast Cancer Survivors Retreat retreat today from 9-4. What an awesome day! Several inspirational stories, and I learned so much at the breakout sessions on genetic counseling, taking arimidex and Chemo brain-living in a memory maze.

It was my first all-day event though in 3 months, and I'm exhausted tonight.

Our group keeps growing. How exciting! Welcome to everyone. This is a judgment free thread where you can find acceptance and support. No matter what's happening in your life, we want to hear about it if you want to share it. We'll celebrate the good times and comfort you when things are tough. Sometimes we talk about silly things. Sometimes we talk about normal daily activities. It's not always heavy, serious discussions. We discuss our travels, our family members, our hobbies, our animals, share silly cartoons, inspiring quotes, pictures of our gardens...nothing is off limits. I especially enjoy it when something someone says triggers an avalanche of memories in the rest of us. Post when you want to. Just be sure to stop by to say hello once in a while so we know you are ok.. 

Jackie, I have owned three other dogs and I may have spoiled them a bit but the papillon is my first small dog but what a big personality! Spoiled!!! My kids say he has more toys than they ever had

Sandra, love the picture! Reminds me of our twin grand babies who slept in the same crib because it seemed to comfort them to be touching each other.

G-mom, lots of good advice here. You will soon learn more than you ever dreamed about breast cancer. You will be overwhelmed with information at first but it gets easier and the nurses and doctors who deal with cancer seem to know it is a lot to take in and they never seem to mind how many questions you have. They know you are kind of in shock and don't mind repeating anything you don't understand. And you always have your storm sisters here to help too. 

That is the supreme work to which we need to address ourselves in this world, to learn love.  Is life not full of opportunities for learning love?  Every man and woman every day has a thousand of them.  The world is not a playground; it is a schoolroom.  Life is not a holiday, but an education.  And the one eternal lesson for us all is how better we can love.

Henry Drummond

Welcome G-Mom.  This is the scariest part, when we know we have the diagnosis, but know none of the details.  As my breast surgeon told me, at this point, you feel as thought you are in free fall.  But once you know the details of treatment, you will feel so much more in control.  I promise this is true!  Good advice given here already, but I echo that you take someone you trust and good with details to take notes for you when you meet with your doctor.  You are in my prayers.  Please stay in touch with this wonderful group, as between us, we have experienced every kind of treatment.

Sandra, So happy for you that your surgery is on!  You will be in my thoughts and prayers as well for a completely successful surgery. 

Di, Hoping you are feeling stronger.  Prayers your way too.

Welcome to anyone else I may have missed.

Jackie, Yes! Any body of water will instantly calm me.  You are so lucky to be living lake-side.  How wonderful that you can get the soothing effects from simply looking at the water all the time.  I am envious!  Here's a link to a book"Blue Mind" which explains the science of why this is true.  Read the review about 4 weeks ago - sounds like a great book that I'll get around to reading sometime.

http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Mind-Surprising-Healthier-Connected/dp/0316252085/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412344186&sr=1-1&keywords=books+about+water

Sally, we made it through the storms fine, but did lose our Wi-Fi  later on and I sure didn't like that.  Should have been thrilled ( shame on me a bit ) that nothing else was much disturbed.  In among so many trees we do worry a bit, but usually --- the trees slow the effects of the winds most of the time and while we might have some debris, and an occasional large limb --- they are usually ones away from the house and we don't have to worry too much. 

MomMom -- I did just go and check out that book.  IT is amazing isn't it???? I have always felt that we all live in water for the first nine months of our un-born existence, as well as drinking lots of it to rinse our bodies clear of un-wanted germs and infectious materials and take care of actual thirst.  I have always felt something of a "water" connection in a spiritual sense.  I loved listening to the ocean ( when I lived so close to it in Southern California for 25 yrs. ) and smelling the salty/briny waves with pieces of seaweed being deposited on the beach.  I often could nearly lose myself -- being, no matter who was around at the time, -- just the sea and me communicating. 

I can do it here too, but it is different -- there is more of a slightly muddy smell ( it is though a big lake, shallow in parts ) and I can hear little insects buzzing or moving about at the shoreline.  Not as dramatic as the ocean so vast, but still easy to transport yourself out of this world for a brief time -- finding the peace and tranquility that exists on the other side.

Jackie

Ruth, welcome and hoping for an easy treatment plan for you.  You have received great advice here and the only thing I would add is to take your time to make decisions (not months but more than days). Due to my husband being a physician, I was diagnosed on Friday and saw the surgeon the same day, the oncologist the next morning and lots of tests with surgery being on Wednesday.  I felt as if I had given away my voice and now I say to my DH, I need you to be my husband and not my Dr.  He still falls back into his Dr. Role every time there is a treatment change but I now say "I am making the decision."I will take your advice and the MO  advice but it is my life and my body.

Educate yourself but not too much, there are lots of very sad stories out there and you don,t need to read them right now.  There are also many very positive and encouraging stories but read them when you are in a good place.

I chose to tell my friends and family because I wanted all the support I could get and it was very helpful knowing how much people cared.  Each of us has to make the decision about sharing, there is no right or wrong, just what works for you.

Di. Good luck with this surgery. It is a shame this is caused by a hospital acquired disease.

I love the water and especially walking on the beach.  I can do more thinking and better meditating there than anywhere else.  But we live in Indiana and the corn and soy beans don't quite compare.  We will have some beautiful color in the next few weeks and that is good.

Being new to this thread, I am trying to keep screen name and given names straight.  I feel like I need a score card so if I get mixed up blame it on my old age 74, much older than most but still kicking.

We will be moving into a retirement community in about a year after they build the building.  There are very young women coordinating it and today they sent out suggestions on how to downsize.  One was get rid of wire hangers and buy the nice velvety ones.  Really I need to be told what kind of hangers to use.  They also suggested we throw out any motel shampoo etc that we bring home.  I want to tell them that my body may not be in great shape but I can still figure out what I need and what I don't.  Sorry for the rant but it gets tiring to have young people treat you as if you lost all your facilities.  Yes, I am sure they mean well but it would be much more useful if they would tell us when the building would be finished.

Time to go get a flu shot while I am on an off chemo week.

Just reread this and oh did I ramble on and on, maybe I need that dementia test after all.

Phyllis

Phyllis,rant and ramble away.  That is why we hang out here.  I too feel its just a bit on the cheeky/condescending side if someone much younger is dealing with me.  I suppose they felt they had to cover ALL the bases -- first to some they sound more like they know what they are talking about if their materials are a bit denser -- and they might 'remind' someone who ordinarily would give scant if any thought to something as mundane as hangars. 

Hmm, guess I'd have to give up my supply of plastic bags which are used for some of our trash, and to haul things outside with us at times when we know our hands will be far too full otherwise.  We have a long wooden walk-way going out to our parking area and the garage beyond that --- sometimes quite a load is going out with us.  We could all do much better I think with the "moving" /"downsizing" suggestion list though --- mine would say something to the effect of --- you have 3,500n sq. feet now and going to a place of  1,200 sq. ft. Call family and your good friends and tell them to come get what they want and can use.  Call Good Will for the rest.  Forget hangars -- you won't be taking that many clothes as you no longer have the closets for them 

Enjoy your new home.

Still having sun off and on -- don't mind when it dims a bit.  We did not have anymore rain in our forecast, and the temps were to stay cool so I'm happy.  There are lots of leaves on the ground already, but the until we have a frost --  we won't get tremendous amts. 

Jackie