Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Crone - ditto with the names. On all these threads I just use the screen names.
As for shampoo, lotion, shower caps, etc. from the hotels - please take to your local home for battered women. There is a real need for personal items and these are the perfect size.
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Add me to the many women thinking of Sandra today. Blondie always thinking of you, and you new gals too. Crone you already make me laugh. How funny the thought that velvety hangers will help you downsize. I do like them, but don't think they take up less room than wire. Unless, of course, you throw out clothes that don't look good enough for those black beauties.
Jackie, the storms were here last night too. Once again we had a couple inches of rain. I've traveled to the lake place again for a day or two and am going to go back to that link about why water is such a comfort. I can't say the water in my basement was all that great. But since it was from my hot water heater instead of a storm sewer it was at least hot and clean.
I'm doing a clown gig tomorrow night for 25 children - magic show and face paint. There are two birthday children. But, ugh, they are each going to be two years old. I have no way to include such little tots as helpers in the magic show which is usually what goes on. Face paint isn't actually recommended for children under three. So I will suggest something cute on their arms if they are not totally afraid of the paintbrush. I'm sure other children will be older and enjoy it all. At least I hope so. Either way I will work and earn my pay. My little clown business is growing. I have about seven events yet in October and a couple already on the calendar for November. check out: www.sweetmimitheclown.com
Blondie - so you know just what it is like to connect with a former bf. We dated 7 years and saw or talked to each other daily. And then NO contact for 45 years. I wasn't even sure he was alive after Viet Nam. I would like to see him some more, but time will tell. He lives three hours away and can no longer drive.
And wow, I"m going to be in San Antonio on Sandra's birthday. Looks like we might be able to have a little celebration on the River Walk. Wouldn't that be fun?
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Hi friends,
Sandra, I am thinking of you, and praying that this will be the end of your surgeries once and for all. We are here when you feel up to us!
Chevy, welcome back.....sorry you missed me driving by in Colorado with my bright blue rental SUV! You surely live in a beautiful state.
Crone, welcome and I have enjoyed reading about your life and experiences. I think you summed it all up when you said we can talk about "normal" things here - and even get away from talking about BC. We all have had cancer, so we'd much rather get to know one another as persons and not as patients. It is true that friends and family slip away when they "can't handle it" or are too busy. We are here for one another.Mimi, I'm glad you got to reconnect with your friend from your early years. Old friends who know our history are the best! And you survived without Chevy and Cammi conducting surveillance. I think Cammi hacked into your phone and turned on your web cam though
Carole, it is good to hear that you are doing those "normal" things again. I hope the golf game is going well. It's really nice that you can take your mom out for her errands and to just spend time. How is your niece doing?
Well, there are so many great stories that I can go back and read over the week end...but the baseball game is over and I am going to sleep.
Hugs to all...
Joan0 -
It's so funny, or maybe not so funny, how we
"change" so much when we get older... And how others look at us, and how our
own feelings change when we look in the mirror...It isn't because we look fat, or skinny, it's
because we feel like we have lost what we used to be.... that youthful look,
and maybe we shouldn't even think about that
anymore...Just think about what we have become! How
wonderful it is to be given another day.... another
chance....0 -
I went to the VFW from 5-8 last night and helped hand out pizza,
salad and breadsticks at a fundraising benefit for one of our support
group members. Had lots of volunteers. Another 2 ladies were helping
with the pizza and another lady did the cookies and lemonade.
They had a 50/50 raffle. You bought a ticket for $5 and at the end of
the evening half the money from the raffle went to Vicky's benefit and
the holder of the winning ticket got the other half of the money. The
winner's share was $700, he kept $200 and donated the other $500 back to
Vicky.
There was one section of prizes that was done as a regular silent
auction, where people would write down their bids on a piece of paper.
Several sports prizes in that section: UND hockey tickets, a signed
hockey stick, a signed football from one of the Bison championship
games, etc. Then all the items that had been donated by the support
group members and businesses in the community had been arranged in
baskets with similar items grouped together and each basket of items had
a paper bag beside it. People could buy tickets for $1 each and drop
them into the paper bags with their name and phone # written on the
ticket, and at the end of the evening a ticket was drawn out of each bag
and taped to the bag. It's going to be very interesting to see how much
the benefit raised. One business had pledged to match what we raised up
to $5000.This morning is the first DAR meeting for fall. Suppose I'll wear my wig so everyone can tell me how good I look. I'm so tired of everyone telling me I look good. It's tempting to forget the make up and scarf and wig and just walk in pale and bald so that I look like I feel.
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Morning gals! Hi Joan! Yes, we DO live in a
beautiful State! I think there is something beautiful about every
State, right?I noticed in Orlando, and all the areas around there, how
everything is "kept up!" How even the road-sides beside the Highways, are
mostly clean and litter-free, and all the buildings are bright and beautiful!Even the shopping centers.... and TREES everywhere! And
getting up in the mornings, and peeking outdoors, and the humidity and warmth
are like saying, "it's going to be another beautiful day!"Then I go back in, and freeze to death in my DD's house
with the air-conditioning...Ha!
Okay... Cammi was GONE somewhere, and we missed that
GET-DOWN with Meemers and her.... um..... truant boy-friend of hers... The one
who didn't quite make it with her, then somehow got the chance to do it again,
and muffed it yet AGAIN!All for the best.... but YES Meems! It just makes you
feel SOOOooo special when someone actually "sees" you, and whether it is a man,
or another woman who will say something nice to you, it just makes your
day!And flirting with someone, is just sooooooo fun! I'm not
sayin' I ever DID it exactly, but ..... okay.... yes.... I did..... It just
makes you feel "alive!'It's best if someone flirts back, and you're not out there
flirting with yourself, or a wall or something....Meemers! Having 2 children 2 years old, is like trying to
herd a bunch of ants! Ha, ha!Oh wait! You want to meet up with this Dude AGAIN? Aw
geez.... You have to let us know ahead of time, so Cammi and I can make
appropriate plans.Tell that lame-brain to WALK.... take a BUS... If he
really wants to see you!It WOULD be FUN though!
You must pack an emergency kit.... for the next time you
see him..... Like smelling salts... lots of little blue pills.... Blue Waltz
perfume.... and a walker .... for HIM!JUST kidding! You can work your magic on him!
Morning Minus, and Puffin!
And Hey Jackie! You guys still having that stormy
weather?Carole, when we were in Orlando, and we would walk on the
golf course, (because Sheri lived on a golf-course) We would just sink in! They
got so much rain, which she said they really needed, but it makes the ground
like mush!Probably better than walking on snow and ice
though!Hi Crone! Glad to see you posting here! You are right
about what you said to Ruth... It's like what we can't, or don't want to share
with our family, we can always talk here.... It just empowers us.... We gain
confidence from all the stories we read on here.... !Oh wait! You are not really "old!" I just turned 77, and
I swear, I feel like mentally I am going backwards.... Ha! I mean at least with
Cammi, and her sometimes appearance! I don't FEEL like I am THIS old! I would
much prefer to be maybe 35 or so.... but my Daughter's are even older than
that....Just act like you FEEL good.... even when you don't. Get
up, put make-up on, and do your hair... THEN when you look in the mirror at the
finished product, it makes you feel better!That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
You are MOVING? Oh man, I don't even want to THINK about
ever having to move from our home.... Is that by choice? Or is someone kicking
you out? JUST kidding! Our "older" friends just moved into Assisted
Living... But they are in their 90's, and had a HARD time getting around... So
that worked out great for them.I've been trying to "down-size"...And every time I think I
am finished, I can see a lot more I don't need!It's like we spend the first 50 years of our lives,
GETTING things, or building a home, and then the next 50years getting rid of it
all!Sandra.... are you alright? You haven't posted since your
surgery! Do me and Cammi have to come out there and straighten things out?
Oh wait! You are in TEXAS? Do they have hospitals there? JUST kidding!Anyway, I hope you are healing, and things went like they
were supposed to!Jo! I love your little dog! So sweet.... Our Dog Lacee
had the same features, but was a Sheltie, with LOTS of fur and hair! She was
beautiful!Morning Di, Blondie and Anne!
WELCOME miss Meriel! Where did you go? First you were
here, then we lost you!We are pretty close in age.... I am 35.... what are you?
Ha! I didn't think I would ever have BREAST CANCER either! I thought I
should worry about things like growing mold, from not moving fast enough, or
having fallen arches... or even falling and breaking my hip.... which I did....
But not Breast Cancer! But for me, I had a pretty easy time.... I'm done
with that now... and keeping my fingers crossed.And don't even worry yourself none, about what COULD
happen, or if it will return! Our job is just to enjoy every day.... live the
way you want to.... and drink chocolate cokes....We'll probably get warts before we get cancer
again!0 -
Even when walking in a party of three I can always be certain of learning from those I am with. There will be good qualities that I can select for imitation and bad ones that will teach me what requires correction in myself.
Confucius0 -
Well, yes warts would be just fine. Treatment is not as rigorous for those. Storms are passed for now. So well so that we had to turn on the I-heater this morning. The house was really chilly. It is still going but the sun coming through my window here is making my little office feel bright, cheery and cozily warm.
Mimi, that is really a good thing -- to be able to find such enjoyment with an old friend. I re-connected with lots of family members when I came back home, and later a couple of friends that were classmates. The one I especially enjoyed --- had moved many, many years ago to Lubbock, Texas. He and his wife seldom returned here -- until I came home.
Always ( most of the time ) met as couples -- but I think HE felt he never fit in, in school, as he stuttered ( it never, ever bothered me ) and I think he enjoyed his time with me and my hubby as well, as he felt accepted totally and not silently critiqued for his disability -- which incidentally didn't seem to crop up that much when it was not un-pardonable. So good for you. I'm thinking Chevy's suggestion -- bus, Amtrak or something of that ilk could be nice for your friend. Amtrak could actually be quite fast maybe.
Puffin -- yes, we are pale and bald and do feel that a lot of the time. But-- the pay-off for it is so darn wonderful. I really did heavily dislike being hairless when I was, and sometimes ( though I'm so often preaching it here ) it was hard to see the method to the madness. I mean, I think all that happens to us helps us grow in some way, but I'm not sure I ever TOTALLY got it. Fortunately, that time period didn't last long enough for me to totally get it and new hair was sprouting out. That was such an upper -- the slight downer was that I got my old hair back --- a slightly darker mousier brown that was fine and thin. Sigh !!!! But hair it is and I can work with that. I'm with in sprit if not in fact --- and all will come right.
It is so interesting that we age, but we aren't startled by ours since we experience it on a daily basis -- I mean you can't actually see those couple or more gray hairs and well, arthritis hurts pretty much just the same -- so no difference much there either. I met someone three weeks ago that I did not recognize at all -- and I grew up with him for the most part. He is about four yrs. younger than me, but he was a total stranger. He didn't recognize me either so some consolation.
We just often change a lot more than we think we will and it is sort of am amazing thing. I know who I am, and I also know that I don't feel much older than 56 or 57 -- yet, people don't recognize me -- how could that be -- as if we don't all know. I do feel younger most of the time rather than older and that is not a bad thing. It helps me to do as much as I want, as long as I want, and with as much enthusiasm as I want. Some things are just good.
Have to get cleaned up and feed the feral cats and get to the bank but I'll be popping back in later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Welcome to all the newcomers,
Sandra, thinking of you today and praying all went well for you. Rest and feel better soon.
Mimi, your clown appointment with the 2 year olds sounds like fun but a lot of work with that age group. Hope your basement all fixed from the flood. Hopefully, you will be able to see your friend again soon. It is nice to have someone that has some of the same memories as you do.
Jo, your little dog is adorable. we have a large black lab but we spoil him rotten.
When I was dx with cancer I thought my one sister that had breast cancer many years before would be in contact with me a lot but it turned out she was not , it was one of my other sisters that was there for me. When I went for the radiation (had a mammosite) I told my DH not to come with me so he did not have to take off work. My sister took a weeks vacation and she would be waiting outside for me to meet her for lunch or just follow me back home and talk. What a surprise.
Crone, (I think it was you that wanted to hear about the ladies on this site) I am 65 and live outside of chicago. Been married for 42 years and we have 4 sons, 3 are married. and we have 8 grandchildren ranging in age from 10 years to 3 months(5 boys and 3 girls). I was dx in march of 2010. Had a lumpectomy and a mammosite. Opted out of chemo because my oncotype score was low. I am still working as a preschool teacher. I was the director of a center for 8 years but was tired of dealing with corporate office and schedules for 12 ladies. Decided last year I wanted to go back into a classroom. Love it. but am also looking forward to retirement when my DH is ready to retire.
We have cold,rainy, windy weather here today. There were some snow flurries this morning.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
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Chevy - about that air conditioning... Houston is as hot & humid as Florida, but since BC I usually keep my house 78-80. My son was just here so we had to compromise. He managed to live w/73 at night with an extra fan blowing on him and I slept in a sweat shirt and a stocking cap.
And what about recommending Evening in Paris for Mimi's assignation? You can still get it through the Vermont Country Store.
Puffin - the benefit sounds like a great activity.
Sandra - I know they usually keep you in the hospital for a couple of days, so we're all still sending thoughts & prayers Hope everything worked out just the way you want.
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I'm not familiar with "velvety" hangers! But then I live in Louisiana. I use wire hangers and plastic hangers.
Dh's cousin Cal and his wife Barb live in a nice retirement complex in Holland, MI. They call it Pleasantville and joke that the only way to know which unit is theirs when they're returning home is to use the garage door opener. We visited them recently when we were in Holland. Their condo is very nice and very comfortable, but I was surprised that it's two levels. Their bedroom and living area are on the top level. A guest room and family room are on the bottom level and also their laundry room is downstairs.
At this stage of life, I would probably not want a two-storied home. I definitely wouldn't want to climb up and down stairs to do laundry. Although it would be a lot of exercise.
From their condo complex, you can access paved bike trails that take you to Lake Michigan. During the summer they like to take a bottle of wine and their chairs down to the lake and watch the sunset. They ride in a car, not on their bikes! It wouldn't be easy to transport chairs on a bike.
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we have already downsized once. This spring we put our home on the market because we were concerned when the retirement condos are built, 17 other seniors will be selling there homes. Well it sold in 6 weeks so we ended up moving to a house 1/3 the size. It is the same size as the next condo so the next move should be easier. It is amazing what you don't need but wanted.
Our kids were amazing, they wanted so much of what we no longer needed. We put a lot of thought into who we would give things to. I gave all my quilting stuff to my daughter in laws mother knowing how much she would enjoy it and she earns money by making items for craft fairs. The most amazing and yet difficult was distributing my Santa collection. We did that last Christmas and each of the six grandchildren took turns choosing one. I would share the story of that particular Santa with them? It took hours and the only one who lost interest was the 18 month old. At the end I slipped into the bathroom for a good cry and then came out to find our daughters and daughter in laws hugging and crying.
We had lots of flower and veggie gardens and now have a very tiny yard that is mowed by the association. It takes a lot less time to clean but my DH and I have lots of together time. Our next place in the retirement community will be on the third floor (yes there is an elevator) and all on one floor. The community has four restaurants, an exercise center and lots of social activities.
I would be content to stay in this little house but I know I something happens with me, my husband will need the stimulation of a community or he could be come a hermit. He's now talking about a dog but I don't relish taking a dog down an elevator and outside in the middle of winter.
I love hearing all your stories. I'm still trying to keep track of who's and and read between the lines to get to know you.
Jackie, I am glad you connected with your old friend. Being with people who have been part of our lives brings joy to ones heart.
Sandra, I don't think I have met you but I hope your surgery was successful.
Puffin what a kind thing you all din for your friend.
Saturday is football day at our home, I can take it or leave it but it is a good excuse to sit and knit most of the day. Isn't retirement good?
Back to the tv
Phyllis
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Welcome to anyone who is new, you will be glad you joined this group.
It has been a hectic day here. I went to the broom shop for DH this morning, but had to leave by 12:30 PM so I could get groceries to make a dinner for a family in our church. She had surgery for a brain anursym about 3 weeks ago. We have been taking dinner every night for about 2 weeks. She is doing good. I took a Mexican pork chop and rice dish. and a bag of salad. We have had several in our church who are having problems.
DD has hit rock bottom I think, I hope her husband can talk her into going into rehab for alcohol. Her Dr. says she can go to Orlando and they will fly her down and they fly her back when she is released.
It is breaking my Heart, she can not due it on her own, if she does not do something she is going to
find herself homeless.
DGD doing well. hugs to all
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MOM sorry for your daughter addiction is horrible.
Puffin so glad you went out for the day and spent time with non cancer people.
Hope everyone is ok,
Me still not feeling well, but it will b ok, in til tuesday, unless I have to drive michael to work again, lol
bbl
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Hi Ladies--Welcome to all the newbies--my puter is still kadonked so I didn't read everything.
Sandra (((HUGS))) and relax.
Mom I pray for u'r DD so she can turn her life around.
Carole u'r home now right and right back in the groove with everything.
Hi sweet Jackie
U gals have been so busy, I feel like I'm tired just reading everything.
Oh Chevy we missed our stake out for Mimi, my fault, but I'm glad u enjoyed u'r self so much and yes why did he stay so long---well men either they move to fast or can't move at all. Is that bias? Yes it is but I'm stickin' to it.
I went to the doc and standing at the front desk, my pants fell down to my ankles with my depends on. I wasn't even embarrassed, that's said I just said welcome to my world, now u got to share it. WTF was I going to say? Of course all my bloodwork is all messed up along with my thyroid so more meds to take and scans next week, then I'm done for a few months cuz I'm not concerned that anything is lurking--O Chevy BTW after I pulled up my pants I sat down and crossed my legs like nothing happened. I know u would have found a pole and start dancing but I was never classically trained for pole dancing like u have been.
Blondie Muah again.
We had snow today nothing stuck but it was still white stuff falling from the skies And it feels cold now---to fast around here. So Jackie get ready it's coming. Batten down the hatches we're in line for lots of snow this year again.
OK I'll be here whenever I can be , stupid computer, parts are ordered but no one is bring them--(my boss) He's such a brat but I still love him, after all he stil hasn't fired me yet but I'm waiting.
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Ah geez! You just can't take her ANYwhere! You mean ALL your pants, even your thong one with the depends? Oh wow, I just don't want to even think about it!
Did anyone even say anything? Was the place full? I mean did anyone even notice....???? Okay.... guess we are safe then...
Get some suspenders... fasten those things, and then tie a rope around your pants. We can't let this happen again... I just would have said "WOO-HOO CAMMEE!" You GO girl! Always be prepared for whatever disaster may come about.
STiiiiiiiiiiiiL! We won't tell anybody else about this mishap... Ssshhhhhh!
We haven't seen snow here yet, but it is up in the Mountains... Just really cool in the mornings, and then beautiful later in the day.
Mommarch.... I'm just so sorry..... don't know what to say.... But no, she really can't do it herself.... But getting her to GO, and then stay there, is always another problem. Will her Husband stick by her? Will she lose him too, if she can't straighten up?
I've just seen too much of this going on..... not my family, but my neighbor, and I hear about it all the time... It's like once drugs or alcohol get a hold of you, to that extreme, it's just almost impossible to do it on your own.... Even with help, it is extremely hard... Saying a prayer for your guys....
Morning Blondie! You are feeling a little better? I'll make YOU some milk-toast too..... just let me know.
Crone.... you are so sweet..... Yes, sometimes the "things" we hold on to, are what makes us who we are! I have a big plastic bin, of my most cherished things... Like my Mom's favorite dress..... her diary she kept from before she met Dad, and for 12 years! Their cards they sent to each other... and her favorite poems...
I have albums with pictures of everyone... Even THEIR pictures they saved... her music boxes, bell collection... and I just can't let them go...
I HAVE given up "things" that I had saved... because I know I'll never decorate with them again... I gave them to DD#2 to sell for her yard sale, and she could keep that money... But I have boxes, to fill..... AGAIN.... to take up to donate... you sound so organized!
Carole, velvet hangers are the best! Nothing slips off! I get mine 1/2 price like at Ross or Gordmans...Even Walmart... but they are worth it. We have stairs also, in this little Victorian, but when I go up, I go up on all 4's.... Ha! Then hold onto each wall when I go down one step at a time. But our upstairs is just "holding" stuff, that someday we might need, but never will... ! Okay.... I'll start working on it.... Till all that's left is a rug... Ha!
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Good morning, it is sunny here in Indiana and even though frost was predicted, the pots of petunias are still blooming. Can't pull them out while they are still alive even if it means I will be out in the snow emptying the pots on the patio.
Mommarch, so sorry to hear about your daughter. Addiction is so hard for every one involved to live with. I hope she will be willing to get some help for herself. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Not to be all spiritual but I believe that every time we think about someone we care about, we are saying a prayer for them. (Well unless we're thinking mean thoughts)
I'm still picturing camillegal casually reaching down, pulling up her pants as if nothing happened. You're one classy woman. I am a blusher so I can imagine that even my legs would be bright red.
Chevyboy I so envy your having pictures in albums. That is where I am disorganized, I have boxes and boxes of pictures plus tons on the computer. Now how many pictures of a grandbaby taking a bath do I need but it seems harsh to hit the delete button on the computer or throw away the 20th copy of a grandson swinging a baseball bat. Every winter I say this will be my indoor activity. My DH has two large Rubbermaid containers of cd's and we don't have a CD player anymore so no matter how well we downsized, there are still some things we hang onto. I still have my wedding dress!!!
Enough rambling for this morning, time to make some peanut butter bars, that is if I can find where I put the recipe.
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Perhaps, indeed, there are no truly universal ethics: or to put it more precisely, the ways in which ethical principles are interpreted will inevitably differ across cultures and eras. Yet, these differences arise chiefly at the margins. All known societies embrace the virtues of truthfulness, integrity, loyalty, fairness; none explicitly endorse falsehood, dishonesty, disloyalty, gross inequity.
Howard Gardner0 -
Oh golly, Cammie. You really are classy -- well, your medical issues don't find any way to steal who you are because you look it all square in the face, deal with it properly, and then move on to what's next.
Oh Lord, let us all have that grace of spirit when needed. Cammie, you are just one marvelous being.
Got to thinking -- there is a closet I avoid -- and that means I don't even 'recall' everything I'm holding onto. I guess ( knowing it's rather full ) I think I need to deal with all the things that I confront all of the time and don't worry about door # 2 till the rest is handled. Do know a major part is a good deal of smaller things from my Mom's house and hate to admit she passed away in 1998. One of these days.
mommarch -- I too am sorry for you DD. Addiction to alcohol is very hard. I hope she is able to get and avail herself of help. Any addiction is difficult -- but alcohol I think is sometimes worse, because it can be in-expensive. People often graduate DOWN to it for that reason. My first husband ( and why the marriage didn't make it ) was a severe alcoholic. The literature I read many yrs. ago said that almost everyone has to hit absolute rock bottom. So difficult to give up the "friend" that brings such comfort and solace, yet all the while works tirelessly to reap destruction in every way. She will be in my prayers.
Phyllis, you ( not to be spiritual ) reminded me of a quote that goes:
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
This is how I see these things exactly. Just my very humble opinion, but I think the world tends to dull down our spiritualness a whole lot of the time. It is hard to think about yourself in that way when you get slammed so often with the life events we all go through. Hard to think that all we do go through is for our edification in some way. Yet when I get that why me feeling -- I have to stop and think.....I am learning -- even when it is not really pleasant, and sometimes painful mentally and physically. What would I learn if everything was perfect and easy. How could I even consider the essence of anything if I didn't have the yardstick of pleasure and pain, feast or famine, love and hate -- watching everything un-fold and than trying to choose a path that helps me learn the most without bitterness, or deep regret. Going thru the land mines everywhere along the way and coming out, hopefully with an even flexibility that makes me a little more knowledgeable, while allowing me to understand that I'm growing my soul and hopefully gaining grace.
Going to warm some today. Very low 70's, but it will be warmer. A bit nippy last night and this morning. We haven't had a real frost yet so the leaves ( the majority ) will stay on the trees for a while. We are starting the process of going bald for the winter though. I-heater is still on and will likely stay on because we have a lot of air to warm in the house. If the sun comes out strong ( not here yet ) that will help to do it. We will see. Dh was going to turn it off this a.m. So many of the animals were sitting on him he thought we didn't need it -- hmmm, wrong.
Hope you all have a great Sunday.
I'll be checking in later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Hi to all. Thanks to everyone for the concern and prayers. I'm home in my recliner with my wonderful husband Mike taking care of me. I've never gotten out of the hospital so quickly before. I think it's a frequent flyer perk. Surgery #5 was three and a half hours and a total success because I didn't die.
(I've done it four times in the past so it's always a relief to wake up!) I'm allergic to all narcotics and opiates so my friend Tylenol is trying it's best to keep up. It's much better today - no more involuntary shaking when I stand. Those of you who can take prescription pain drugs don't know how lucky you are. The first 3 days are the hardest so I'm almost there.All of these surgeries are because of the gram-positive staph infection I got in the hospital after my bilateral mastectomy 13 months ago. It destroyed muscles, skin, and soft tissue but my plastic surgeon has done a good job with repairs. This should be the last big surgery. In about three months I will have #6 to place fat grafts on my chest and left side where it is just a bit of incredibly thin skin over bones. This time the pockets on both sides were reconstructed and Alloderm added to try to keep the implants from wandering around. The previously repaired muscles are short and kept exerting too much pressure and pulling on the implant pockets causing cramping and 24/7 pain. If this repair doesn't work, I quit.
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Sandra, find me relieved that you are home and starting to look forward it sounds to the rest of your recovery from this operation. Honestly ( despite going without pain meds depending on just where the pain originates ) I can't imagine not being able to use 'strong' pains meds if I felt I truly needed them -- and I have at times.
I'll continue on with prayers and positive healing energies and visualizing a wonderful outcome to this. Yea for you.
Love and healing energies
Blessings
Jackie
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Hi Sandra.... Yes, like Jackie, we are all saying little prayers for you....
Okay.... no little honey.... never give up..... not never....! We're all here for you....just that when you really feel down, hum a little song to yourself, we'll hear you, and lift you back up..... I think we've ALL been there, in one way or another....
And we don't know whether to CRY, or dig a big hole, and cover ourselves up with dirt..... but like Jackie used to say, give it 10 minutes.... if you can get through that, then give yourself aNOTHER 10 minutes..... And if you haven't kicked the bucket in the mean time.... you are good to go!
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Hi All,
I am 61 years old with grown children that live outside the area. It is just my husband and I. He has lost a lot of weight in the last month since my diagnosis. I have the IDC at about 1cm in the left breast. This has all moved very quickly and I am just now starting to realize what is going on. My surgery is Oct. 15th where they will do a lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy. Nothing was shown in the lymph nodes from ultra sound. I am hoping it stays that way. So far I am heading for 5 weeks of radiation and the Tomax(sp) medication for a long time.
A couple of questions, I am working at a new job and wondering how others do it. I really don't want to be there. Also, if the cancer never comes back, does the radiation and meds shorten your lifespan? Gruesome question I know. I have never been sick a day in my life so I am just not sure how to handle this. I have been told I am pretty stoic because I don't act any differently at work. I do have a tendency to just "shelve" the personal stuff and march ahead. I am guessing this is not the way to go. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Okay.... don't be afraid....just take it a day at a time.... I was older than you, but now I am almost 5 years out.... Never mind.... I'll ALWAYS be older than you.... Ha!
It depends on your type, grade, etc, and you will know that after the surgery, and the final pathology report.... Your "team" will help and advise you....
You SHOULD have a good attitude.... You will hear people say stupid things, but it's just because they don't know..... They are afraid for you, because there are soooooo many women out there who have had breast cancer.
Notice I say HAD? That's the good thing! If you don't act worried, your Husband won't either! Will your grown kids come be with you? Mine did, and took my Husband out to lunch, and SHOPPING while I was under!
I had the MammoSite device for the radiation! Depending on where your cancer is, ask about having that also.... It shortens the radiation time. I didn't have chemo either. Your team will talk to you about that, and make sure you ask for the Onco test..... that is to see if you NEED chemo.
Clean lymph nodes is always good.... but everyone is different!
Okay.... now go to bed, take 2 aspirin, and call me in the morning! xoxoxoxo
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Also Calypso.... don't go "losing" us.... put us in your "favorites" It's in blue somewhere....
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Kalypso welcome, welcome. Chevy has given you some truly good advice. You really can't tell too much till you get the pathology report back from your lumpectomy. That will give a fairly full picture of just where you are with all of this. It also will help you and your Dr. decide the best course of treatment for afterwards. Most of us were blind-sided when we "found" us what was wrong with us, but once you have your report and can actively work on getting all of the cancer cells destroyed, you may be less apprehensive.
As far as whether radiation, meds, or chemo shortening your life -- maybe it has for some, but by what percentage. For others I'm sure it does not. I guess in a round about way I'm saying I think any risk of that would pale in comparison to not doing as much as you could ( with all options carefully explored with your Dr. ) to eradicate all traces of viable cancer cells from your body.
I had 6 months of chemotherapy and 7 full weeks of radiation, and 5 years of Arimidex. I'm doing fine, feeling fine and most days seldom think about cancer anymore. I had it for awhile -- it didn't have me.
I don't know that I've made you feel better or not -- but do know that there are wonderful sites on BC. Org where you can learn a lot about the questions you have. I would advise though just sticking with the things that present the most confusion to you. Sometimes early on --- so much can seem frightening and it may be hard to determine just what may apply to you. We here are good at hand-holding and sharing your journey with you -- and giving you a restful place to join with others who have been where you are. We know that it is sometimes scary, nerve-wracking, frustrating, and we also know that often it is had to talk to people -- even some in your own family. So we offer a haven where we accentuate the positive and try to help you through what seems like some pretty negative events.
Come back as often as you need to or feel like it.
Blessings
Jackie
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Kalypso -- it's at the top of this list. That will get you right back to us. I think we will have to check on Mariel too as we haven't seen her.
Jackie
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I'm definitely one of the 'older people'. The day after my 70th birthday, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which was described as invasive and aggressive.
I've heard of belated birthday wishes, but this dx was not welcome at all. Of course, as with any disease, I have 'options'. Ha!!! Given my age and health issues going into this, I chose no treatment except a lumpectomy. The last thing I need is to be throwing up while I lose my platinum silver locks. I was left with enough fat and tissue to make my right side believable in a bra - no nipple, but it's not that important anymore. I was also offered reconstruction, but that means going into a hospital again and the threat of infection. Again, no on that.
The oncologist described the tumour as described above, but also added that he would expect me to be living two years from dx, but not 5 years. I have passed the two year mark with no real complaint. I'm not into extreme 'anything' except for necessary doses of good white wine. I'll pour it myself, thanks.
Cheers to all!!!
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Sandra - hope all is well for you.
G-mom - the first few weeks are the most challenging because everything moves so fast.mit will get better.
Crone - when we moved to new house, we started a practice of something in meas something out. I find I don't really "want stuff" because I dont wNt or use it. But things I wanted, I kept. I decided no one needs to tell me what I like or want to have around me. Even when my DH decides to retire and we move from this house, I think we can make those decisions. There are some things we get to have a say about, bodies and homes should be top priorities.
We spent the weekend with my father-in-law in his new home near my SIL. I told my husband ahead of time that I didn't want to be in the car if his father wanted to drive. He's had two mini-strokes and been told not to drive but the state saw fit to renew his license! He's 94! Was I wrong? I think our lives and those of others is more important than his desire to drive. It ended up ok because I told my FIL that our car gets over 50 mpg (hybrid) so I was happy to drive. He gave good directions and was happy to talk to DH.
It was nice to see my SIL and niece. My niece said if she didn't know, she wouldn't guess that I'd had thre surgeries in the last 10 months. I decided that meant I looked good.
Tomorrow I have to see ophthalmologist because my vision is still too blurry to read since cataract surgery. Still hoping it gets better. It was the end surgery so I can have copays only next year.
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