Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Oh Sandra! She is going to find you, and whup your butt! Ha, ha! And yes, that must have been me..... I WONdered where I left those panties!
Isn't it funny now, that the older I get, the more appropriate I dress? I mean sometimes I look at "things" that are cute in the stores, and then I put them down.... They ARE cute, but I don't think I could pull that off now!
BUT, I just put on my black & white checkered fingernails! Soooooo cute! I got them at the Dollar store!
Hi Teka! She has the only animated avatar! So cute! I think Texans do that sort of thing..........
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Teka -- is that avatar just the greatest. I sometimes just look at it and grin. Well, you know, I'm not actually short of any cookies in the box -- it is just that they are scattered.
Getting a big kick out of the last cartoon. I'm thinking the gal could be saying the same thing he is.....after all his pants are too short -- they have a cuff, and if that isn't enough, it appears that he has one green house shoe on and a brown shoe -- no socks. Not enough yet....well looking closely, I'd nearly swear that brown shoe is for the left foot and he has it on the right.
Ok, ok, I'll back off, but heck, when I'm trying to be my sexiest, I'm not going to let any old geezer get the best of me.
Jackie
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We welcome bc sisters of all stages. Everyone has a lot to share.
I am one of the oldies on the oldies thread, but I departed when things got unpleasant. At some point Chevy sent me a pm and said the coast was clear. It was safe to come back! So here I am. Unfortunately, some of the nice people, like Jo, never came back.
Recently I decided to poke my head into the "other" oldies forum and I found that the atmosphere was safe there, too. There are several stage 4's on that thread.
Joan inquired about my niece who has 3 kids and serious mental problems. Mommarch will understand this news better than most. Today my niece decided that she was leaving. She went to my sister's house to announce this decision. My sister is her mother. Now, the 3 children are all at school and their mother is leaving. She will not be there when the 2 older children (11 and 9) get home on the bus, nor will she pick up the 5 yr. old girl who is at Headstart school. She tell her mother than she feels nothing. She has no money but she inquires about the title of her car. Evidently she was ready to dispose of the car for some money to finance a trip to FL where an aunt lives. This aunt also has mental problems.
The two older children will go to live with their father in MS, where they will pretty much have to raise themselves. The younger child, a girl, has dyslexia and attention problems so her changes of finishing high school aren't good.
The 3rd child, a little girl, soon to be 5, has a father who is in and out of jail. There are no decent, responsible people in his family to take the child. I think she could thrive in a good foster home. She's very bright and has lots of personality.
My niece has been drinking, smoking pot and "hanging out" with a 25 yr. old guy who didn't graduate from high school and isn't employed. She has not been taking enough medication to deal with her depression and anxieties.
It has always been evident that my niece was not capable of rearing these three children despite a lot of family support. My sister, the grandmother, begged her daughter not to have these children, to no avail. My sister is not going to raise them. She has her own life and is in a second marriage. I can't really blame her. Many of you will probably disagree.
I know we don't want to live in a country where having children is regulated by the government, but so many people who are unfit parents bring children into the world. The children suffer and society suffers the consequences.
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Oh Carole, I am so, so sorry to hear that, but I can't say that it is a big surprise either. As far as your sister not raising these children, I think she came to a decision that she knows is best for her and them. She doesn't sound as though she ever got to "quit" raising her own daughter and has been there, stepping in, time after time, while coping with the needs of her grandchildren right along too.
Sometimes, you have to choose to be strong about your own needs and that may go against what the neighborhood or society in general feels is right. She knew it was a huge mistake for her daughter to have children -- how long must she pay for the irresponsibility of someone with heavy-duty mental issues. I wish them all well and I do feel very sorry for the children. Still who can say --- they could end up doing much better than some would think. I have two granddaughters that were ultimately adopted outside of the family and they are adults and doing well now. No one response is right for everyone or every situation.
I just think it sad ( it is just my feeling ) that your sister never got to ENJOY her grandchildren in the same way most grandmothers do. She sounds worn down a bit too. Next time you see her.....give her a hug from me. We all have to make choices, and hers may have been extremely difficult, though she may have already known how she would deal with something like this.
You, she and I think some other family members have all done your best to help your niece keep going and all have chipped in to try and keep what normalcy going that was possible for her and the children. There isn't much more that could be done. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try -- some things can't get fixed -- and it is better to allow yourself to realize that and move on.
The children will be in my prayers.
Blessings
Jackie
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Carol so sad, these poor kids r brought into the world n the adults mess them up. My thoughts n prayers r with all of them.
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Chevy, thanks for calling me a girl. I wish my body felt like it did in the days of saddle shoes and poodle skirts. This estrogen blocker makes me feel about 100!
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Good Morning Ladies,
Puffin, good luck with your rads treatments
Carole, sorry to hear about your niece decision. thoughts and prayers are sent your way for the children.
Sandra, Love the cartoon
Too early to get ready for work.. We have a curriculum night (which very few parents will show up for) so will not be home till about 7:30.
We are also starting to downsize but it is hard to get rid of somethings. DH wants to move to Florida. Me too except I will miss the grandchildren and children. 3 of our sons still live in this area. and 1 in PA. I think we will be around here for at least another year until things get done around here and we sell the house. Everything is still up in the air but we keep going toward moving somewhere into a smaller house. We had 6 bedrooms which we needed when the boys were here and my mom lived with us. DH turned 2 rooms into one bedroom and a larger bathroom and walk in closet after my mom passed away and my dx with cancer and we moved our bedroom downstairs.(much easier than going up and down stairs all the time) but still more rooms than we need now. I can not clean the whole house in a day like I use to be able to so am looking forward to a smaller place for that reason.
3 or 4 of our grandkids will be coming on Sunday for a sleepover since there is no school on Monday. DH will have them by himself on Monday since I work (he took a vacation day to help out). That should be an interesting day around here. HaHa. He does pretty good with all of them. I just wish I was off work also.
Watching the news this morning and hearing about all these teacher strikes that are going on. What a shame all these kids are out of school for so long right after school started. Teachers need to have a decent salary and raises just like other jobs but you hate to see the kids out of school for this.
Sorry this is so long.
Hope everyone has a great day.
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Jackie, that is RIGHT! I didn't even notice that! I only
looked quickly, because it reminded me of myself, Ha! But my legs aren't that
skinny!I just thought he was normal looking, but THEN, I DO see
his one shoe and slipper on the wrong feet... I have a cane like that too, so
he must be STYLIN'!Carole! We are soooo glad you came back... It's like I
am the rowdy one, but you and Jackie are always the voice of reason, and you
have a happy traveling life, and take care of your Mom. AND, since you are an Author, I probably drive you nuts when I completely obliterate the English language....
About your Niece.... Yes, it IS the children that
suffer... and I don't disagree about your Sister not taking them..... There
just HAS to be another option...Kind of reminds me of the same situation with
Mommarch....Those stories remind me so much of my neighbor Tracy...
Geez, I just want to cry thinking about it.... At least, Thank God the Children
were okay. Don't know who got them after Tracy gave it all up.I don't know.... it was an easier time years ago when we
were kids... I don't think there were any drugs, except once in awhile you
"heard" of someone smoking a joint.And I wish there WERE a way, that ..... oh wait... there
is no way we could all take all these people and pound some sense into their
heads, and make it mandatory that if they ARE going to take drugs, they will be
sterilized... Ha! That should do it. I just fixed it!Morning Jo.... You WILL feel better one day.... Jackie
was on Arimidex, and she is still okay... Ha! I know..... It feels like if the
cancer didn't kill us, the other meds will. Same with Chemo.... but we just
hope for the best, and go on, and talk about all of our concerns
here!Oh WOW Termite! Florida? We just came back from
there... It really IS a beautiful place to live.... Our DD lives in
Orlando, near Universal Studios, in a gated community.... The whole area is
beautiful....Ain't gonna find no snow around THERE.... Ha! She is a
Realtor, so if you ever want to live in that area, she could help
you...http://www.floridamoves.com/real_estate_agent/2862/Sheri-Sampson.aspx
Seems the prices of homes are so much cheaper there than
here!We moved into ours in 1964, and finally bought it in about
1975 for $24,500....And now, they appraise it for $250,000... And it was
built in 1886! I mean it's older than even I am!What makes the difference, is the area we live in.... Now
it is very popular, because of how close we are to "downtown" the Sports
stadiums, and the highways, which make it close to the Mountains. It USED to be
old North Denver, but we have become sophisticated, and now it is called West
Highlands! Pretty spiffy, right?Same with Orlando.... A lot of gated communities... Just
have things checked out before you move... like the area, neighborhoods, etc.
And where the nearest Walmart is.0 -
Love recognizes no barriers.
It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to
arrive at it destination full of hope.
- Maya Angelou0 -
We spent the weekend with my 94 year old FIL who had just been able to renew his license after 2 strokes. I said I'd be driving because I won't get in a car with him behind the wheel. His neurologist said that he shouldn't drive. My SIL thinks it's ok because he only drives on neighborhood streets. So scary to me. Then my niece said she's getting a divorce after 22 years of marriage. She broke down and said she couldn't live a lie anymore or take the abuse. She had hidden it from everyone until she just couldn't any longer. I told her she is strong to have made this choice. It was her first weekend without her children. It's made me think of the abuse issue and how women accept it for so long to stay together for kids. Her 3 kids will be stronger because they will see a strong woman in their mother. I just wish she had been able to tell us long ago.
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I'll join in with the hugs. It is a terrible thing to live on the outside like everything is fine while you are being abused. I think you are right Teacher. The children will see the strength and drive and determination and see what they should have seen all their life.
Golly -- are accidents really better if they happen on neighborhood streets -- I guess I don't think so. I know it is difficult to "GIVE" up your independence, but what about your life, or that of someone else. Hopefully, the DMV will cancel this license on next renewal.
Jackie
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This is the fifth time I have tried to post and if I don't get this submitted before it disappears, I am going to think it is a sign. Not sure what it means but it is frustrating. Each time I have gone back to a previous page to check on a name and when I come back, the post I was submitting had disappeared.
Anyway, I loved the cartoons but wonder if this is the Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties.?
Just returned home from the Outpatient Center where my husband had a heart catheterization and stent placement. Because we live close to center, they let him come home. I may need to hire a thug to keep him following the restrictions. We are thankful that it wasn't any worse and hope some of the worry and stress can lower.
Rather then try to address each of you and loosing this as I check on names, I will just say that I am thinking of each of you.
To those who are downsizing, be careful. Last Feb, I was standing on a step stool to get some heavy bowls off a high shelf. I stepped back rather than down and the weight of the dishes held over my head threw me about ten feet and the landing broke my pelvis. So please think before you start doing too much and end up sitting in a chair for six weeks and being banned from step stools ( that is when someone is around to stop me).
We have a promise of a perfect day tomorrow so maybe we can take a walk and take some fall pictures.
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After five well behaved grandchildren, this little guy comes along. His middle initial is T for Tate but really should be T for trouble. When the Day Care teacher says Good Luck when his parents pick him up, youget some sense of his personality.
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Phyllis, sure hope your hubby gets better quick before you have to have someone come and sit on him. He is probably relieved that he doesn't have to stay in a "hospital" setting.
You are so right about the falls. It sometimes take very little for some of us to get off balance....so I can envision something heavy pulling you enough to un-ceremoniously dump you where you did not expect or want to be.
I gave up on trying to go back.....I think there are a couple of things here that just don't work like they used to. Hmmm, reading that reminds me just a bit of myself.
Hope you do have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Blessings
Jackie
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Crone - love the picture. I went to a wedding years ago where the ring bearer crawled under the bride's train. He was fast and all the way under before anyone could get to him. Thankfully, the bride and groom laughed along with everyone while the matron of honor/sister of the bride worked to get the 3 yr old out. He loudly exclaimed he wanted to see what was under there.
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Crone: You used to be able to his "preview" and then your message was saved when you went go back & forth. The preview works only to edit your post now and if you try to go back it says the page is not available. Mods have been working on it since the last upgrade w/no luck.
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I wonder if ther is a huge file somewhere with up unfinished posts. Hope not!,
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Love the cartoons!
The things people do to screw up their kids lives.......
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I have Notepad on my desktop. When I want to read through back posts I write my replies on a Notepad page, and when I've read all the posts I copy and paste my note into the box and don't have the problem of losing my work.
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Welcome White Tiger! There was a beautiful white tiger at the Cincinnati zoo years ago. It sat patiently to allow my daughter take a picture very close for a 4h project. Lovely blue eyes showed clearly in the photo. Do you have blue eyes.
Thanks to the gals who kept this thread going-Jackie and Chevy. How lonely to be a thread of one, and then two. When spinning wool into yarn, a single strand can be weak or all tangly and knotted. But sometimes when two strands are plied together it is both stronger and smoother. Nice work you two. That must have been long before I landed here. And I must have missed something recently.
The potential of our spirit traveling while we sleep is fascinating. It is certainly in harmony with what little i know of many cultures and religions. Jackie, did you feel frightened? Calm?Wren, it must have been an interesting book. Although this is a different topic, it fits in with when you meet someone new and know instantly they can become a really good friend. Lately there are lots of books and shows about time travelers. I don't know what to feel or believe about that stuff, but don't rule out possibilities.
It's so good to have Sandra to give us some animation on the screen (love the dancing babes). and Teka that is a great fall picture.
I hope all our newly diagnosed friends here will have a peaceful nights sleep tonight. I don't have all the names. Maybe tomorrow I will backtrack in this thread and get one started. It's almost a year since I started this breast cancer new life. And it seems like the first weeks of worry, learning and deciding were so scarey and restless. We will all be here to keep friends in this strand plied together strong and smooth.
This is pretty serious for a clown. Sleepy time for me. Night night.
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I'm confused. Lately I join the thread and respond to the most recent posts. Then when I submit my response tons of new ones show up that weren't there a few minutes before. And the can be hours or days old. It makes me feel as if I'm responding to week old posts and ignoring lots of stuff. Wierd. If my stuff makes no sense at all and seems out of context, that's why!
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Puffin, I used to have Notepad, probably still do,
somewhere. So many computers crashed and replaced! But you’ve given me the good
idea, and I made a blank Word page just for these Responses.Miminiemi – White tigers do have gorgeous blue eyes but mine
are not like that – they reflect the sky etc. – some people think they’re blue,
some say they’re green. When I was a little girl I asked my mother and she said
“Green” so that’s the official answer. All our girls have green eyes and all
our boys have blue eyes.If I could travel in my sleep, I wonder if I would ever come
back. I’m okay with most possibilities but this one puzzles me. I’d better
investigate it more closely. Where would I go?Re delays in posting responses – that happens to me too, in
all places on-line. I blame the Net itself, maybe it gets clogged.0 -
Mimi have gone to the end of the post
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Oh that's right! Sinkholes in Florida?
Pa-shaw you say!I have sink-holes around here even.... in my garden....
Maybe it's just ME though?Teacher.... Just MAYbe we could come up with some more bad
news for you! Dang girl!Drive while old? Man, I hate that thought! I mean I want
a newer car... not a new one, but how much longer will I BE DRIVING? I
ask myself! I'm meeting older friends this morning for breakfast, and
SHE is 91! Still "WITH IT" and all, but STILL! When do we KNOW not to climb in
that damn car and just hang up our keys?And your Niece? Sometimes we take it as long as we can,
always hoping that it will be "different" tomorrow.... and the last people we
can talk about this with is our family.... It's like we are in this dark place,
with no-one to turn to....And then something brings it all out in the open, and
something takes over, and we can move on....Maybe they will divorce, and maybe not.... maybe they will
get back together, or maybe not.... but SHE has to do this on her own.... and
find herself.We stay together even withOUT the kids... even when they
get older. It's just that we are afraid to do it on our own.... Until
something "breaks" and then you find strength you never knew you had.... We
need friends who understand.... family and the church to help sort it all
out.... and most of all "time."Morning Crone! So your posts get lost
into oblivion somewhere with all the rest of ours? Ha! And husbands following
"restrictions" of ANY sort? Can't BE! They don't, do they?So I must have your step stool? I just DID that trick!
About a month ago! Except mine was a two step, and I made it a one step, right
down onto the floor! But I actually landed on my GOOD foot, went staggering
back into the washer, but caught myself before I splattered all over the floor,
and lived to tell about it!But YOU hurt yourself! No it ain't funny! We gotta think
before we move.... especially me.... I can fall just by walking and stepping
on a HUGE boulder in the alley! Well not HUGE, but big enough to twist your
ankle on.Oh I SEE! The Dog door! Ha, ha!
My Grand-sons LOVED to do that trick! And our Dog Chevy
thought it was the NEATEST thing he ever saw! I think HE showed them how to do
it! He thought they were HIS kids anyway, ever since they were born!And they both turned out magnificent!
Puffin, I do the same thing! And this "write mail" has
auto-correct, also! Yes, just highlight, copy and paste... "Great Minds Think
Alike".... or something like that.Like Cammi! We not only lose posts, we lose HER!
Oh Meemers, that was sweet.... Good analogy, or
something! It WAS a long time ago... then one by one, we found more
friends.... with no drama.... well except me. Ha, ha!Yes, you ARE being serious! And hey, we need an update on
your .... um .... "friend". Do you at least talk to him sometimes? That would
make his day!Okay, I think I know what you mean.... about other
posts.... I think it is your "provider"? Send a note to the Mods, maybe they
can figure it out?Yes White Tiger, I think that is right... Sometimes
"things" are just strange... It's the Internet.... or Cammi screwing around on
her computer....Hi Blondie! Boy are YOU out of context.... Ha! But I
sort of understand what you mean....Okay, gotta get ready to meet my older friends for
Breakfast! It's always fun!0 -
Teacher, thanks for a big smile this morning! Enjoyed the mental picture of a little boy climbing under the bride's train!
Chevy, did you know you're writing your posts in italics? Hint, hint--makes it a little harder to read for older eyes! The old English teacher checking in.
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One of my all time-favorites:
"What a liberation to realize that the
“voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”Eckhart Tolle
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Since I can't go back I will have to try and remember all I read --- everyone who knows what that is like can laugh now.
Anyway, I think it was you Mimi -- who asked if I was scared or calm when I woke up too soon. Well, I was afraid. I had a VERY total ability to think --- and in the space of seconds I bet I had thoughts by the millions. I was terrified that ( I knew somehow it was the middle of the night ) Dh would wake up in the morning -- think me permanently gone to my final rest..........and I would then be buried alive.
It is a difficult concept --- but so is undergoing a cancer diagnosis and the following txs and procedures. Anyway -- I know it still happens to me ( especially when I wake up really, really tired and shouldn't be for the amt. of sleep I've had ) but I've never had that happen since.
Another interesting phenomenon that some people figure out -- and some don't is that if you have a real problem with something -- and then suddenly find in some way that the problem has vanished.....in an earlier lifetime then, you had the issue, and you are now older in this life.....so you are passed the hang-up.
I used to nearly choke and gasp when trying ( which I tried for years ) to wear any kind of turtleneck sweaters. I kept trying from time to time as I was always so cold. One day, magically.....I was able to have one on and not be constantly pulling it away from my neck. I don't know when I got passed --- because I only tried now and then when I was cold enough to suffer the torment of feeling like I was suffocating.
Ok, your resident ( oh do you have to tell that stuff ) person will shut up. I guess ( speaking about some of the issues we all face that are not what people see of us most of the time ) just makes me brave enough to own the above story as my own. I don't feel "weird" for it. In fact, I welcome learning and owning how much we truly ARE. If ( and I believe with my whole heart, mind, and soul ) we are here to learn through experiences and to glorify our souls -- then knowing all you can and accepting as much as you can is not a bad thing. It helps me have the freedom to be me -- to accept all the parts of me....seen and un-seen.
I hope your day is bright and beautiful. We have sun and warmth today. Sounds like nearly a week of rain is coming though.....EEK -- that is not going to be totally do my liking.
Blessings
Jackie
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Hi everyone
Sorry I haven't been posting... Actually I'm not sorry- my days have been filled with kisses, hugs and babble from my 15 mo old grandaughter. She reminds me so much of DD#1 at this age. It is very funny- my DD#1's son is a clone of my oldest son. Now, his daughter is a clone of my DD#1. She is beyond precious and I think I might have to sneak her into my suitcase when I leave Fri.
Don't you just hate it when you are staying at someone's house, and you break something? I took a shower this morning, and both of "my home" showers are just showers with sliding doors. Here I shower in the tub in the main bathroom. I didn't even think to pull the shower curtain into the tub, and I didn't notice a problem afterward. We were just about to leave for awhile, and my DIL noticed water dripping from the chandelier in her eating area. Apparently I spilled enough water out of the shower that it overflowed and flooded the ceiling. She is high-strung normally- wow- did she freak. Not at me thankfully, but she was afraid the house would catch on fire while we were gone, so I ended up staying home so the dogs won't be trapped in a burning house. As they say now-a-days, my bad!
My trip to NY is turning out to be quite a"vacation" rather than a visit. My younger brother will be there all but 5 days with me. He is planning several trips to the city itself, including a visit to the Today Show, and a Broadway play - hopefully The Jersey Boys. Plus a trip through the neighborhood in the Bronx where we all grew up. He also plans at least one visit to some caves or caverns and some other cool things. He called me this morning to stress that I am welcome to do as much or as little as I want, and anything I do want to do will be modified according to my needs. ( I think my sister is telling him I am not strong enough for all this activity)
Phyllis- I have a 5 yr old grandson like your little one- on the go until he drops. Very intelligent, adorable, but tiring. Enjoy every second with him, but boy do I need a nap when he leaves.
Welcome, White Tiger.
Hugs to all
Anne
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Happy Wednesday. It is sunny with temps in the 60's but quite a breeze so probably no long walk today.
DH came through heart cath with the need for only one stent and so far he is taking it easy as directed. No need for thugs to sit on him yet.
I think that "voice in your head" is just a bad tape recording which needs to be destroyed. That voice is just old crud that needs to be written on a piece of paper and set on fire, never to be heard again.
Waiting for a call back from Dr. Have either a bladder or yeast infection which is truly irritating. I told the nurse I didn't want to be squirming around to stop the itching and burning and she said " makes you want to sit on your heel". I thought that was hilarious and have been snickering about it since. I think I would take my shoe off if I tried it.
Second grandson just passed drivers test - now there are two driving to worry about. It's the three year old that they should make wait until he is 30 to get a liscense.
Another story about the little guy. He came home from day care with a toy cell phone in his back pack, when his Mom asked about it, he said " I was on the playground and looked up and it just fell out of the sky into my hands. His Mom confronted that story and told him he would have to tell the teacher that he had taken it. Next morning he says to the schools director, " well we went on a vacation to California and I got I there". The poor director had a hard time keeping a straight face as she finally got the truth from him. He just turned three , I hope I am around to see him turn 18 - he is just like his Dad, our youngest son who is a great guy and great Dad but I wasn't sure which of us, him or me, would survive his growing up.
Time to deliver some food to a friend having surgery tomorrow.
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Okay, sorry Carole.... I do that when I am composing a post on my AOL "write" and I have it set for larger print, and I just thouight italics were pretty.... Then I just copy and paste... Otherwise, when I go back to read someones post, I lose this....
At least it usually isn't all "bold".... I do that for my older friends emails.0
