Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Sandra, there are so many different doctor's approaches . I don't know why anyone would question you. Wishing you the best. And please continue to share with the people you trust.
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Sandra - Blondie's right. This is a safe place. As for the nasty lady - let it go & just don't go back to that thread. Who needs it? You are a wonderful resource and marvelous guide to many women on lots of threads. I've seen the constant thank yous. Everyone (except apparently this one malcontent) is so glad to have you posting. Please don't take your expertise away from the boards - just "shun" that thread.
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Oh Sandra don't let that hurt u'r feelings, it's just her opinion and we all have them ad we cant all be right except for me. S I say forget about it. really.U don't need anyone negative, just stick with us, we're easy and Chevy has always been easy.
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Oh, okay SANDRA! Worry not little friend.... I think I know what you are talking about, and sometimes there are those of us who do have different opinions about, like say Tamoxifen...
I took it for 1 1/2 years, and woke up one morning, and could not hear. I did lots of research.... Doc thought it was allergies... So for another month I did all the crap you do for allergies....
But nothing got better... STILL could not hear! Went to an ENT... All the tests showed I have permanent hearing loss... due to an "auto-toxic" drug... And Tamoxifen is like a chemo drug. The ENT didn't say what caused it, just that any drug like that CAN cause it... And it IS an auto-toxic drug.
But the Tamoxifen didn't cause the hearing loss, it just caused a small infarct (stroke) that was near the 8th cranial nerve, and that caused my hearing loss. It only happens in a certain amount of women who have this GENE, and I must have been one of them.
So yes, I believe that anything is possible. Tamoxifen DOES list side effects, like stroke, cataracts, etc. but we take it because we are more afraid of getting cancer again.
And in away Tamoxifen didn't cause my hearing loss, but it caused the stroke which took away my hearing.
So all the reading and researching we do, just helps us understand what can happen. My Oncologist didn't think so, neither did my PC.... but there ARE others on BC.ORG that DID have the same thing happen to them.... So like you, maybe our own vigilance and worries help US! Anything can happen....
So whenever you talk about things on here, just know that a lot of women have their own ideas too... and they think theirs is right.... so don't feel bad.... You and me can be rebels with our own cause....
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Now Cammi is going to see that post, and swear in HEAVEN that it came from someone else. I CAN be borderline/semi-intelligent once in awhile, but it scares people, so it remains hidden. I just like to be an anomoly sometimes.
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Sandra, sorry that you experienced unpleasantness here on bc.org. Some individuals become very officious and think they know more than the bc physicians. It's good to educate ourselves so we become aware of options but choices in surgery and treatment are individual choices. One size does not fit all.
Many women with my dx would have opted for lumpectomy but I opted for bmx to remove all breast tissue. I did NOT want mammograms in the future that might bring more bad news and I did NOT want rads. The emphasis (NOT in caps) reflects my emotions. This decision would be WRONG for a lot of women and I recognize that and respect those who made different choices.
Hugs for all of us.
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One thing I've learned here is that we are all as individual as our treatment and doctors. I decided on BMX because of cancer on one side and dense tissue with "watch" spots on the other. I did not want rads to impact my heart or pacemaker. Someone I no longer have contact with let me know what I should do! She (fortunately) has never had cancer or heart issues. My oncologist and cardiologist told me that hormone inhibitors taken for years could cause me more heart issues, so I made my choice not to take any based on their recommendations and my history. We make our own choices and do not have to accept judgements of others. I've learned that even women of a certain age are still "mean girls" and I can ignor them!
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Sandra -- we wouldn't know what to do without you. There are a few here at BC. Org that thrive on drama and creating troublesome events. JMHO but they are likely in-secure, possibly un-happy and in order to feel some sense of esteem and worth -- they use you to mock or demean.
They are not worth much since we should do all we can to aide each other -- and disagreements ( who doesn't have some ) can be handled politely with some style and grace. I think when you have to publicly rip someone up -- it says a lot more about you then the person you tried to shred. We care for you and we don't want to see you abused for no good reason.
We care in a big, big way.
Blessings
Jackie
p.s. have not had time to read and I' m off to work....I'll catch up when I get home.
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Hi Everyone
Sandra- sorry you had to go through that. I am totally with Teacher. I have learned every case is as individual as the person who has it. And I would hate to believe that there are any oncologists or breast surgeons out there that don't want the very best for each of their patients. I am only on a few threads here, (mainly this one) and have never heard anyone give medical opinions. We have shared what we have individually gone through, and lots of times I have heard suggestions about different creams, supplements, etc. We also have, at times, strongly suggested that someone go to their Dr for advice or treatment, but I cannot ever remember anyone criticizing anyone for a treatment course chosen by someone and their Dr.
Enough about that. I am in upstate NY with my sister. I have been here almost a week, and my younger brother arrived yesterday. We (he & I) are leaving about 1pm today to pick his daughter up at Newark Airport about 3. We will stay at a hotel near the airport tonight, then head to the big Apple tomorrow to sightsee, even though we were born and raised in the Bronx. Tomorrow we will start with the Today show, then to Ground Zero, & Wall St, where we both worked, then the Empire State Building, and if my energy holds out, SoHo and Little Italy. Also The Cathedral of St John the Divine. It was under construction last time I was there which was in the early 70's, and we want to see if it has been completed. Apparently it has been under construction for the last 300 years, so we are really not expecting it to be completely finished. We are also going to try to find the buildings I went to college in. The college itself has since moved into a 12 acre complex, but back in the late 60's it was a couple of floors in two different business office building.
Another day, we will visit just the Bronx to visit our old haunts if any any still remain. Before we leave today, we will be having a quick lunch with my older brother and his wife.
Will update you on my travels
Hope all is well with everyone
Anne
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Anne, your trip sounds wonderful. May I come along? About the time you were in college, I was singing in supper clubs in the N.E. I never got a booking in NYC but whenever I was within driving distance, I would go into the city to a Broadway musical. (That's back when an average person could afford a ticket!) My companions and I would then go to the Playboy Club, which I thought was a daring and scandalous thing to do in 1968...especially since I had a fake ID! Never once did it occur to me to sightsee and I regret it now. Sometimes opportunities are wasted on the young. <sigh>
Thank you all for your comforting words. You would think at 65 I wouldn't yearn for a bit of petting from my mother when feeling blue, but I have to admit that my first inclination was to run to my friends here. Hiding in your skirts, I feel like poking my head out and giving my attacker a good old fashioned raspberry...Thbbtt. (Anne, in honor of your trip, I'll change that to a hearty Bronx cheer...PPTHHPTHPFFTHPPPT!!!)
You are so right that we all have to make our own choices and there is no right or wrong. Even with the same diagnosis and prognosis, we can get different advice from medical sources as well as women who've been at the same crossroads. When someone is trying to make a decision on which path to take and asks for others on BCO to share how and why they made their choices, I believe we should be able to respond without fear of bringing on a surprise attack. This person wants me to believe that my medical team lied to me, I guess, since she claims there is no proof to support their medical advice. For the life of me, I can't understand her motive. Am I now supposed to worry that I made the wrong choices? That the 1%-2% chance of recurrence both my surgeon and my oncologist told me is my status based on the treatment I chose - is wrong? Should I be angry at my medical team for distorting facts or find other physicians who would have advised me differently. I take full responsibility for my decisions, from surgery to accepting/declining additional treatment. If I was a fool to trust and believe in my breast cancer team, I guess I'll find out someday. Suppose this will make "her" happy? She can then say, "I told you so." Although I asked her privately to not contact me, I see I have a private message waiting from her. I think I'll just delete it without reading it.
OK, enough of that. Time to think of something happy...like each and every one of YOU.
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Also elephants. They make me happy.
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Blessings
Jackie
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Teka!!!! So funny! And Jackie, I love the photo of the baby elephant. Looks like he is smiling. So cute. If you like photos of baby animals, there is a page called Zoo Borns that I enjoy. http://www.zooborns.com/ The newest baby is an ocelot. You can sort by kind of animal and there are plenty of elephants.
OK girls. Let's hear about (or see photos of) what makes YOU happy.
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Anne I hope you are having a great time...you deserve it.0 -
The roses which my mother loved always bring a smile to my face and a deep feeling of love and hope.
Jackie
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love flowers!!! they are beautiful!!
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Wow, there were a lot of great posts in the last week. I have just been too tired to come online during the week.
My screen name is my name - and the numbers are my surgery month/year.
I think it is important to remember that this is a public site and anyone can read all we post. Anonymity is good - I changed my location to a more general place because I live in a small town and not many people have my name. And I have a "public" job.Am I the only one who thought that Camille gal's screen name was Cam illegal?
Puffin, belated birthday wishes! And like you, it took me a few days to realize that rads were not as scary as I thought. I hate staying still but fortunately was lying face down so I relaxed.
Teka, your kitty Teka is gorgeous. We had a feral black cat which had a litter in my house and all were black except for a grey male kitten which grew to be large and long-haired. He was a mush and my favorite kitty ever...and looked like Teka.
Your photo of the foliage is stunning. I passed a few ponds today that had perfect light and bright leaves reflecting...but no camera. I just enjoyed the scenery.G-mom, I agree that it is good to have a plan. It energizes and gives us the strength to face surgery and treatment. You will always have support here.
Sandra, your experience is just not what we expect on BCO. I am sure it is not a Mod as they are usually gentle in suggestions. They would not attack a person but may make a "neutral" statement about a topic being discussed. I hope you can shake it off. You have been through so much and are still vulnerable...I'd be pretty crushed. I was confronted on a thread for a comment I made; and I sent PMs to explain and offer apology. I never got a response and I decided to leave the thread.
Gotta read back a bit...
Blondie/Sandy, I hope you can find a way to sleep through. Sorry you are not feeling 100%. I hope you can enjoy the games this week end. Hang in there...
Joan
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Ahh read some more great conversations here...
Mimi, it sounds like such fun to make people smile and laugh. You are talented.
My granddaughter is having a Frozen party in a few weeks for her BD.
They will have a "professional Elsa" and others visit. DGd is Elsa for Halloween and she looks so lovely in her little gown.
They are going to Disney on DGd's BD. I am still thinking of joining them but it seems overwhelming to travel again.
Ohio- my favorite brother lives in Dayton area and I never appreciated Ohio. But
now that I know the area has lots of fossils I am looking forward to visiting
him again.
I had cording soon after surgery in the underarm area. It went away and came back a few times. I also developed Mondors which is vascular inflammation in the veins in the abdomen under the surgical area. That causes tenderness but is not considered harmful.
Mommarch, I am so happy for your GD who seems to be secure and doing well under your care. You have given her a safe haven where she can do all the things she should be doing at her age. I know there is a lot of heartache for you, but you have made a difference in her life.
Carole, the wooden boat show is a wonderful event. I hope it is a fun time for you.
I am sorry to hear about the changes in your niece’s children’s lives – the separation
will be tough for the little one. I am pretty sure your heart aches. There is a reason for everything and it wasn’t really working as it was. It is sad that the kids will be separated.I am sending a (((hug))) to everyone who needs one today.
Hi to Chevy, Cammi, Termite, Teacher, Sally, and others who have checked in this week...along with our new friends.
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Hey joan go to disney 4 me, somjealous, she will have a great bd
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Morning gals... Sandra, you reminded me of when I was just a girl.... We
all have to have a "safe place."So when things got to mad and loud in the house, I would run out back, and
get in the shed, until I thought things had cooled off!That was my "safe place"....
Then as we get older, we can STILL be hurt... So you can always have a
safe place, like here, or even in your own bedroom or somewhere that is special
to you... Just have lots of snacks, and a TV, and a DOOR that remains shut!You can disembark when the time is right, or stay there till the cows come
home... whenEVER!Yes, we all have, or had breast cancer, and everyone of us was different.
Because our innards are different! Now see? I solved it.I told my Oncologist good-by a long time ago, because she was all hung up
on protocol, and not on listening.We always worry! But worrying about what will come next for us, is like
trying to catch a rainbow.... We can't ever know what is in store for us.Actually falling and breaking my femur was worse (for me) than the BC
diagnosis.I could trip and fall again! On my right ARM! THEN who would do my hair
and face? So looking back.... it was just a leg.And don't be mad at anybody.... just go on.... When we think about the
things that have hurt us, or people that were real "dinks" it just isn't worth
your time.... So just move on.... it's your life, and you can do whatever you
want. And we're always here.Wasn't that Elephant in Disney World? We saw that on one of our
trips!And Jackie, your's was the CUTEST!
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And "these" are what makes me happy.... along with their Dad!
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Very attractive daughters, Chevy.
Joan, that was an amazing post (actually 2 posts) addressing all of us! Fossils in Ohio. Who would have guessed?
Yesterday was Yard Work in the morning. The front yard looks much better now after some pruning and weeding. Somebody (me?) had the bright idea 20 years ago to plant a huge bed of azaleas that does look gorgeous for about two weeks in the spring when the azaleas bloom. BUT trees love to sprout in this bed and blackberry vines thrive. Yesterday I found myself wondering, Are two weeks of beauty worth all this work? Those blackberry vine stickers are wicked and poked through my long-sleeved shirt and gardening gloves.
Today my first job of the morning is to clean the windows outside and inside. That involves taking out the screens and washing them. Fun, fun, fun. If my energy holds up (doubtful), I will also begin cleaning the porch and patio, including furniture.
It's another gorgeous fall day here.
Happy Friday to all.
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My breast surgeon had a survivors' reception yesterday. My dream team was there...my surgeon, my PS, and my PCP (also a patient). It was an evening of celebration for survivors from 34-80.
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart0 -
Great posts to read this morning. I read and really think how fortunate that I'm on this thread with amazing women who seem to mirror so many of my own thoughts and clarify them much better than I do.
I am at times, or at least I feel that way, more of a thinker than a talker and sometimes stumble badly attempting to put all the thoughts swirling through my head on paper -- so coming here tends to clear my head.
Teacher, getting to share with many others getting through the maize that is a cancer diagnosis would be wonderful. Some of the Illinois women ( a thread I have been on since my diagnosis ) use to get together three or four times a year and I think it helped everyone. There are those times when you really feel either a bit alone or very miss-understood or just scared. Being with other people who are getting on with the challenge of their diagnosis and 'new' normal just helps you see that we all hang on and do the best we can -- and move on to whatever is next.
I too would not of thought of fossils in Ohio, and wondering if there are a lot and is it a concentrated area. Started to think -- maybe there are a few everywhere -- if you knew where to look.
Carole, are you limited in what will grow well in your yard? Thinking you could maybe make the azaleas be something else. I bet we all had some delectably bright ideas yrs. ago when we were younger and the chore of taking care of things was a nuisance project and not the really laborious endeavor it is now. I think I mentioned early on in this yard I saw Dh would mow down anything( " improvement " to the yard I attempted to make, so I gave the idea up after a couple of disappointing yrs.
Sun again today - yea for us. In fact, no real rain for several days which sure suits me. I started getting really up-beat again yesterday -- just a few minutes into the sunshine. It is nice ( it took me so long to get it ) to know that I'm not really "depressed" as in clinical depression -- but instant wellness comes from just being able to experience the sun. Sure glad that I was able to see that correlation.
Chevy -- I like the picture of what makes you happy. It's perfect.
Hmmm, well -- I think I stumbled a bit on Camillegal for a very short while, but then totally loving the name Camille I separated it mentally right away and saw it. Had I not been to taken with the name -- not so sure I would have done that so I really don't think I can completely claim a 'victory' here.
Interesting, though I loved the name so much....I did not use it when I named my daughter. Sigh !!! I am happy with her name, but still mystified that I chose something so different. Whatever !!!
Hope you are all going to have a fabulous Friday. Lots of hugs and healing energies for anyone who needs them.
Blessings
Jackie
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Wow !!! That brought a few tears. Glen Campbell was and has been a long time favorite. Alzheimer's is not a very nice disease. One of the saddest parts being the time you spend once your made aware, that at some point you will start losing yourself fairly fast. I think Glen Campbell was able to ( and some people do ) have a certain length of time where he went into that period where you almost seem to go into a remission -- the process slows to a slight crawl -- but then at some point takes off again.
I'll never forget my daughter as a 15 month old ( she was really tiny then ) singing Rhinestone Cowboy at the top of her lungs in the Denny's bathroom in the very small town we lived in. In those days -- you could go into the bathroom alone. She was a quick walker, talker and singer ---- way back then and she entertained the whole restaurant that day.
Jackie
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Chevy - that brought a LOT of tears. But thank you for posting.
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I know..... I'm sorry..... it did to me too!
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Sandra, I think there's a way to block a specific person so you don't see anything they post. I have thought of blocking the woman who bicycles 200 miles every weekend on the exercise thread.
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