Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Chevy - I love your Captain of the Ship advice. That's what we all need to be.
Carole - I do understand the need to move on and I find that I visit fewer of threads on BCO that deal with the "mechanics" of BC, but there are a couple I can never see myself "abandoning". This is one, and Book Lovers and What's for Dinner.
Thanks to all you ladies for your friendship.
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Sunshine - this 'getting through chemo' thread has a wealth of advice.
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Thanks Minus.... I remember I felt like I was swimming in articles and advice, and was so afraid.... It wasn't until after, like maybe 3 months later, after the surgery that I wasn't so afraid....
And then you get to a point, where you think "I can't TAKE these SE's..." And you move on, or ask for more help, or find other women like on here, that have gone through maybe the same things.....
Then slowly, things settle down.... and you can sort out the good advice from the "Are you guys NUTS" stuff.... Ha! Some of the hair-brained ideas as to why we GOT cancer, and what path to take from now on, is sometimes not worth listening to.
Some gals SWEAR by holistic treatments, or no treatments at all.... (like chemo or radiation) which can be very dangerous..... So yes.... I'm the Captain of my ship.... Ha! And my care is in not only "their" hands, but mine.....
I don't even GO to anyone anymore.... Do you gals? Just an annual physical, and the blood work.... etc. But I DID get my bones scanned after I broke that femur... not my hip.... the neck of my femur. And found out my bones are "normal"..... Ha! That's about the only thing that is....
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Who remembers? I can still smell it and never could get the purple off my hands.
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Thank you all so much! I agree the unknown is probably more scary. I have always be a do-it-yourself girl, felt I had control of many things in my life, and, now, I feel like having breast cancer is out of my control. I am trying really hard to tell myself that I still do have some control. I bought a book called Anti-Cancer and it is a lot about taking control of your thoughts and contributing to your own healing. I thought it was a book about diet and nutrition when I ordered it from Amazon, but it seems like it is much more than that. I have only started it, but will share as I get more into it. Still, this is soooooo difficult. I wish my surgery was tomorrow. I want it behind me so I can get on with treatment. I feel like a have a poison spider inside me. Creepy and scary.
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Sunshine,
Welcome and ditto what everyone said....you have a wonderful attitude! Oh how I remember crying and crying and trying to get info and crying and calling for info and crying and then in bed in the quiet of the night I would wake up and sob and sob and sob....WHY THE HELL ME!!!!!!
I am going to have my 3rd revision for my FOOB reconstruction and new implants on Thursday....crosssing my finger I will then be DONE, except for "tit-toos"
Hugs to you.....the roughest part of the big"C" journey is the beginning of the journey.....you will feel better when you get rid of the CANCER COOTIES and are down the road past treatments.
Di0 -
I had a few rough days and night since my epidual steroid injections.....nothing last time.....this time....a load of problems....major flushing....like my cheeks were sandpapered, leg numbness in both legs for 3 days, still have annoying pain in my back on one side, nausea, HOT HOT HOT in bed (and I don't mean hubbby and I) ceiling fan on high for 5 nights. wobbly legs on our stairs to the lower level laundry room.
the HOT HOT HOT
Di
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Welcome Sunshine! It looks like you're already getting great advice from our wise women on this board.
Thank you Jackie for doing your deep Spring cleaning. You got me in the mood to super clean my home office and it felt so good! I organized my closet and have two large bags of clothes going to Goodwill. Then I organized the rest of the room and got serious about throwing away all kinds of papers and files that I haven't looked at in years........Whew!
I love seeing all the pictures of you gals and having a face to put with your names. I also enjoyed the hair color conversation. I haven't seen my 'real' haircolor in about 30 years. My hair was always a (what I thought) mousey brown so I experimented with different colors when I was in my 20s and discovered I should have been born a blonde, and now everyone thinks I was.
I'm sure my hair is totally grey by now but I still have my hair lightened with a brownish weave to make it natural looking. You ladies who color your own hair are so brave. I would be afraid mine would turn orange or purple, lol!Sandra I do remember the mimeograph machine and smell. When I was in grade school I always volunteered to help mimeograph as I loved that smell! Loved the picture of you and your family enjoying a little down time with Margaritas........you definitely deserve it.
It has been pouring rain all day and showing no sign of letting up. It's supposed to be like this until Thurs. when, they say, the sun will come out and should be in the 70's Thurs., Fri., and Sat. I hope so as we're planning to invite 3 of our little grandchildren for a sleepover on Fri. night.
Hope everyone is having a great week.
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Lurking, will bbl to catch up
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Love that you are lurking Blondie -- just love knowing you are there. Really enjoyed all the notes today and welcome to Mysunshine. Loved hearing about cancer cooties too.
Here's something to think about --- sometimes, I'm so on with my life that I have to stop and think a bit about what I really was feeling at the time of diagnosis. Then it came to me -- I was wishing I had found out about a month sooner --- so I could go get that horrid stuff out of me. Funny --- you are running around, doing whatever it is you did at that time -- feeling pretty darn good. Then the bottom dropped out. I never felt so sick in all my life as when I heard there was something so bad growing inside of me. I have been sick before -- with scary things. Let me tell you -- they did not hold a candle to this cancer. Sort of odd, a couple of the other things were sort of life threatening, but not to me. Dangerous yes -- but I never got consumed in it --- it was just a small possibility. Then I found out I had cancer. Somehow it brought out something very scary and almost hopeless.
Now I wonder --- does something inside of you 'almost encourage' you to get "nerved" up to that degree. I'm not saying it was a piece of cake -- but I will say that I was going to chemo tx. very soon like a pro. No sweat, no pins and needles, it got almost humdrum -- because I saw that there was no ogre, no hard work, no icky feeling. I chatted from time to time with others, grabbed my I.V. pole and trotted down the hall to the loo -- in fact, found it rather rude to have to do that, but I was at the V.A. and darn if I was going into the bathroom there -- where the men would go --- no thanks --- so I got to take a walk. Sometimes I'd work cross word puzzles. I won't say it was boring but it became fairly un-eventful. Once you become aware that there is a beginning, middle and end, you start putting your foot way forward so you can achieve the end result which is getting through your tx. You are assisting your medical team help you save your own life -- and give yourself back the best one you can. It is what you want and all of your loved ones want the same thing. Some days you are up to the challenge better, some times not --- but you will get familiar with how everything works and you will likely do just fine. The un-known is always daunting.
The only other suggestion I would have is if you feel some day -- any day, like you want to or simply can't hold back a good cry do it. I had a couple of fantastic one person pity ( full out bawling and why me ) parties. They loosen up and wash away so much that you don't need hanging around you -- so don't feel you have to stand up all the time.
I'm off to bed, work for me tomorrow. I'm late. Had a long, busy day.....but that's ok. That's what life is for.
Blessings,
Jackie
Waving to Di
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Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Oh good morning there. I have to be honest, and say it is a rather icky morning here with the rain we knew was coming. It will stay murky out all day. Thank goodness I have sunshine in my office that just requires a click of a switch. Who knew !!! To be honest, I knew there were 'happy' lights, but just not sure of where to get them etc. Thanks to a wonderful lady on this thread -- the happy lights are in my office now.
I went to one of our local stores looking for them, but realize now -- they don't stock anything like the sunshine lamps/lights. What they sell -- daylight bulbs, are not quite the same. Good advertising in so many cases -- making you feel like it is just the thing you need to keep going.
Anyway, today is a work day and then we will walk early today and then a little vegging out maybe. No need to worry about mopping my floors since it is raining as the dogs will go in and out and leave little footprints all over in the house. I don't have carpet here -- none. It is all wood laminate. Out here in the countrified area where we live you are forever, even on good days tracking stuff in and on the wet days oh my......so I did away with it all and have laminate and some in-laid in the bathrooms and my one bedroom slash office. It made me such a happy camper and likely unless it were forced on me ( rental apt. when I'm too old to stay here ) I'm sure I'd never want it again. I grew up living in dirt and I'm back in it --- and gave up the bountiful wonders of living on carpet. It is nice and when I had it, I enjoyed it, but it just does not work well here.
Saying hi to all as I get ready to go to work and thinking of all of you and hoping your Tuesday will be terrific. See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Thank you all. Teak, your picture made me smile after a day that has been filled with crying spells. I had a doctor appt. this morning with a kidney doctor because something in my blood work was strange. So, last week I had to pee pee in a container for 24 hours and then take it to the lab (oh, and drink a gallon of water) and then have more blood tests. So, they fit me in for my appt. this morning, and I left in plenty of time, but got lost and was 15 minutes late. I was crying and they would not see me cause I was late. I cried more and I am sure they thought I was a crazy woman. I know it was not such a big deal, but I was already anxious about the results, then freaking out with all the traffic and missing the road, and all the other things going on, I just fell apart. I went to the car and sobbed.
I finally wiped off my face, which of course took off all my make up, and said, "Self, get yourself together." After a few more minutes, I drove to Target and bought some birthday presents for my grandchildren who are having birthdays in the next couple of months.
I am home now, rescheduled the appt. and am going to take a nap. Some days are better than others. I am happy to have a place to write about my ups and downs. I feel like you are friends and the only ones who can truly understand my crazy emotions. You give me hope that there is some kind of normal on the other side of this surgery, losing my breasts, reconstruction and chemo. My mind goes crazy with so many thoughts. 17 more days to wait for surgery......seems soooooo far away.
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Hi Everyone,
I just joined today. Wondering if anyone has gone back to plastic surgeon to minimize scaring after mastectomy and implants (reconstructive surgery)?
I need advice. It does really bother me looking at my breasts with purple worm-like scarring horizontally across my entire breasts!
I don't want to wear bras!
I'm 60 years old, my surgery was 5 1/2 yrs. ago.
Sincerely,
Jill in Colorado
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Hi Jill! Welcome.... ! I can't help you with your questions, because I didn't have the same DX as you.... but I know the women on here will be glad to help you.! .... Have you asked your surgeon what their thoughts are?
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mysunshine,
I'm glad you found something to help you smile. You had a rough morning this morning. Such a shame it took place at a time when you needed things to go right. I think some Dr.'s offices/practices' are so busy that they maybe have made rules that don't allow a person any leeway. I do feel that if there were anything GROSSLY wrong they would have found a way to fit you in -- no matter what.
You may at some point look back on today and smile, but it feels far too crappy now. We can be so stressed waiting and wanting to just HANDLE this cancer thing -- everything that slows progression is just another good reason for us to be on edge and upset. You, I think are VERY normal now -- being up and down and out of sorts and feeling like maybe the fates are against you. Good for you, having a good cry and just letting it go. Even if some of the people at the Dr.'s office thought you were a little touched that is ok. It's their problem -- all of us here know your not.
I am wishing you a good nap and lots of hope that your next few days have no hitches.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Jill,
I'm saying hi too. I didn't have any kind of reconstruction either, but there are women here who have. Some days are slow here so hopefully someone will "check" in a bit and find your query. I am wishing you well on your search for answers.
Jackie
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Jill, Have you had nips tattooed? There's a tattoo artist named Vinnie Meyers who has photos of before and after on his website. A lot of women have the horizontal blue scars, but once he tattoos a nipple, they're far less noticeable.
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Sunshine, I feel so bad for you that you were treated badly at the dr.'s office. I can't imagine that they couldn't have worked you in. It isn't as though you meant to be late. Things happen. I agree, though, that if something were horribly wrong, they wouldn't have turned you away. One would hope not, anyway. Hang in there. Things will get better. I know exactly how you feel with wanting that cancer OUT OF YOU. I felt the same way. My bc dr. told me there was no hurry. I could take my time deciding what surgery I would opt for. I told I was in a hurry and she laughed in a kind way.
Jill, I had reconstruction at the same time that I had bilateral. My scars are from the nipple toward the underarm and are very faint now after 5 years. It's my understanding that a woman can go back for revision until the reconstruction is satisfactory. My reconstructed breasts aren't perfect but I'm satisfied enough not to go back for more surgery. Good luck to you in getting some improvement.
I remember the mimeograph machines very well. I used one to duplicate study and test materials when I taught in high school.
Hi to everyone.
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Morning Sunshine! You doing better this morning? I'm with Jackie and Carole... No excuse for how they treated you... Some people are just lame-brains, and don't care, or try to help someone in your predicament! You will get strong... and then get mad, when people take advantage of you like that. It's like the older I get, the less crap I take from people, or ignorance, or them being just plain mean.
USUALLY, an office will accommodate you, under those circumstances!
One time I had an appointment for a diagnostic Mammogram.... I waited, then was taken into the "room" to get undressed. Then I wated with that warm "gown" on.... A gal came in, and said... "We don't have the orders from your Primary Care".... I said, can't you CALL and ask? They did, but MY Doc was out, and the Doc on call said, "It has to come from her!"
So I got dressed, and had to leave! They wouldn't do it without HER referral! I got home, called that stupid office back, talked to the "referral" gal, and they called it back in. THEN I called to make yet another appointment.
I said to all of them... "I don't know what the problem is with everybody, but it really makes it inconvenient when you can't get it together!" They all apologized and said it shouldn't have happened.... but from NOW on, I will call my PC first, to make sure they fax in a referral, then call the Hospital beFORE I go in for the appointment for the Mammogram. I know this is Insurance stuff, but it just makes you mad. Especially at my age.... Ha!
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Sunshine...so sorry that happened to you! I was fifteen minutes late for my gyn appt and they said they couldn't see me. Ok. But then they billed me a thirty dollar no-show fee! I don't see them anymore.
Carole... I'm only 6 weeks out from my surgery but can see I will need revisions or fat grafting. Does insurance cover this? Does anyone know? I have United Healthcare.
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You will meet two kinds of people in life: ones who build you up and ones who tear you down. But in the end, you'll thank them both."
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Jilly,
I like your fix for being charged as a no-show that actually showed -- just a tiny late. I think I'd have done something like that as well. Not that there is any great shakes on my time, but if we could get money off of our bill when we HAVE to wait for our Dr.'s, or billing people to get our medical bills organized property ( right billing numbers so our co-pays are correct, etc. ) then maybe we'd all feel a little better about some of these "rules".
No matter what I do or don't do --- my time is as valuable as ! theirs ! and while I can understand that we all should show up on time -- we have to do this at other places, like where we work etc., I really think having to come earlier than you need to be -- just so you are there at the proper time, is not always the best answer either. There are things that can just go wrong that people have no control over at all. So, until we get to BILL people when we are on time and they are not.....I don't think its rigged fairly for everyone.
That is just my crazy two cents. I do try as hard as I can to be on time for appts. but since I go to the V.A. and have to drive about 73 miles a lot of times I'm just barely on either side of my attempt. So often in that direction I encounter train tracks, highway construction projects, and just lg. amts. of traffic. I have things that have to be done before I leave because it won't work at all for me to do them after I'm back home after several hours.
I don't know since I didn't need any repair surgeries how those things work, but I keep thinking I've read about others who have everything paid for that is connected to the 'original' surgery. Sorry for having to enter my disclaimer here and I wouldn't even have said it but I feel like I've read about it often. My trouble is I read a lot of things and if I don't have NEED of it , it just registers a little on its way through.
Icky day here.....need my sunshine light on. It rained here all night and I think the same will happen tonight. I slept through all the action but see little on the ground from branches, etc. so must not have been too bad. Hope the same can be said for tonight's' storm.
Blessings
Jackie
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Hi All,
Feeling better today after a crappy yesterday. Sunny and warm here today.... Sending some your way! 🌞
Rescheduled the doctor appt. this afternoon. Then, plan on going to a movie with a friend. I am trying not to focus on all this surgery/chemo stuff every minute, but you all must know it is difficult.
I am so happy to have this place to come to. I don't know any of you, but I love you all.
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Happy Birthday GardenGumby- have a great day!
Anne
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Welcome Mysunshine, sorry you have to meet us under these circumstances. My DH husband went to every chemo session with me and the last chemo was once a week for 12 weeks. I was very fortunate I did not have any vomiting. The medications they have now are good. I worked through my chemo. The first 6 were every 2 weeks and I would have them on Thurs., Friday I felt pretty good but by Friday night and Sat. I was in bed. Sunday got better and then back to work on Monday. Don't forget that if you live in a city your can contact the cancer society and they have rides for patients. We had to travel a total of 200 miles one way for my treatments. I had surgery and then mammo site radiation for a week in April 2011 and then chemo began in June.
This is a great group of women, ask anything you want.
Hugs to everyone else.
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Mornin All
Sunshine- i am so sorry you went thru that yesterday. What happened to good old fashioned compassion? I could understand if it was a routine visit when everything else in your life was normal - but being where you are right now, that was unnecessarily cruel. I would definitely say something to thr Dr today. I remember in the midst of chemo, I developed a pain in one shoulder that was getting worse. I saw my PCP who immediately sent me to the hospital for a test. Can't remember if it was an X-ray, ultrasound or some kind of scan. Anyway, I went straight to the hospital, and was called back within a half- hour, which I thought was pretty good since I did not really have an appt. I got undressed, then they came to tell me they couldn't do it because the Dr coulhad not specified which shoulder. And, of course, by this time, the office had closed for its 2 hr lunch. I said " I am a grown woman, can't I tell you which one?" They said no. I said what possible reason would I have to lie to you about which shoulder hurts? Still said no. I had to sit in the lobby for over 2 hrs until they finally got the Dr to fax a new referral. They then took care of me very quickly, but couldn't stop thinking about how paperwork has become more important than common sense.
Jill- I chose not to have reconstruction, but my scar lines are very faint, everywhere but under my right arm where the lymph nodes were removed- that looks like a train yard hit by an earthquake. I am having "clean-up" surgery there next month, because it not only looks bad it hurts if I don't have a compression bra of some type on 24/7.
Anne
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Anneb-thank you for your understanding. I am wondering why you had radiation before surgery when your tumor was only 1 cm? They told me surgery, chemo and radiation after that if found in lymph nodes. I don't understand why everyone's treatments are very different.
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mommarch, your chemo seems very different too. I thought chemo was for 12 weeks, every 3 weeks, but I guess not. My surgeon said I will not even meet with the MO until 2 weeks after surgery. ???
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Garden Gumby --- I hope you have the loveliest birthday ever and I'm sending you warm wishes and the hope that you have just as many more birthdays as you want.
Happy Birthday and best wishes to you.
Blessings
Jackie
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