Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Happy belated birthday, Linda! Glad to hear there’s light at the end of the b-i-l tunnel!
Sandra, I too have a 31-yr-old son with chronic depression--we’re lucky because he’s been able to manage it on an SSRI and monthly (now down to bi-monthly) shrink visits since his early teens. My dad had severe depression all his life and I had PPD from 3 months after my son was born (coincided with the time nursing got really difficult) until he was 2. I’m on an SNRI to keep it at bay. Son was able to go to college, but a BFA in Theater isn’t exactly a ticket to financial security. He works like crazy--acting, directing, writing, producing, even tech--but in Chicago’s improv comedy industry only those with a regular gig at Second City or I.O. (the latter usually as instructors) make enough to support themselves (and very, very few go on to achieve celebrity as either standups or on “SNL”). He lives with us, but we don’t mind. In fact, I’m still not ready to be an empty-nester. I’ll be out of the country on Dec. 20, but I return the evening of the 22nd. We really need to get a Chicagoland BCO kaffeklatsch together!
Anne--OUCH! Hope your foot feels better. Been there, done that. I have a friend in MI who had anal mucosal melanoma (very rare), and they gave her cisplatin for chemo. Took a lot out of her, but she’s back at work as a storyteller and music & drama therapist.
I managed to avoid jury duty (had been scheduled for this past Wed.) via a note from my RO. But jury duty for me is a waste of the court’s (and my) time, since no lawyer in her or his right mind wants a lawyer on their jury. Been called twice, and never made it past voir dire--the minute they see my occupation (even now that I’m retired) they can’t exercise those peremptory challenges fast enough. DH loves it, though--he gets a day off from the hospital, catches up on reading a novel and has a nice lunch downtown. He even likes riding the train.
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Make room for yourself in your life by keeping it simple.
Stephen C. Paul
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Puffin, so glad you talked about the Warfarin. Not now, but with the last person I took care of, had this issue and I went to all her appts. including the blood draw and test for levels. I don't think the eating of K-food greens was ever explained the way you say it which in my view makes much more sense than what I was always hearing which was to be careful more of amts. and that came out sounding more like --- don't eat too much --- rather then try to space intake consistently which is how I feel you are saying it.
It is nice to have this confusion AT LONG LAST finally put in a context that I can actually understand. I don't know if I'll ever be in that situation again, but nice to know I can start from a better understanding if so.
Golly, there are so many people in this world that have the disease of depression. As I've known very few people with it I have never thought about it much but I can see how difficult life can be for a person who is caught in the web. I am grateful that it is not around me in a direct fashion even though my son is bi-polar so has gone through bouts of depression -- but it does cycle into another state.
I've managed to stay off jury duty as my description of needing to be close to a door ( to exit for the lady's room due to water pills ) along with memory issues seems to have gotten me a permanent deferment. It was un-expected but all right with me. I would not always feel confident and competent to sit in judgment if things weren't really clear cut. Of course, I do know that is why there are usually 6 to 12 people sitting on a jury.
I go to work later on late this afternoon. Will get to see my two favorite 'little' dogs. None of mine are 5 pounders like Sasha and Sammie. I told Dh ( not that I'll likely be that interested yrs. from now ) that if we were dog less I'd probably not want a dog any bigger than five pounds. Being around really little ones I think has spoiled me. While I'm ok with the animals that are here, I do yearn a bit for the time when there are way, way less of them.
Hope you will all have a wonderful Saturday.
Blessings,
Jackie
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What a beautiful Saturday in central Illinois. Dave is out blowing leaves in our yard. This should be the last time we need to blow them. A few trees still have leaves but we will probably be able to just mulch them up with the mower in a few weeks.
I thought of Linda today as I went to a craft show here in town. I love seeing all the different ideas. I bought a few Christmas gifts and thoroughly enjoyed the day. I hope you sold lots of jewelry today, Linda!
ChiSandy.;...you do not look old enough to have a 31 year old son!!!!!
I have had little experience with true depression and I guess I am shocked by the many people who experience this as it is such a terrible thing to manage. Hugs to all of you who are dealing with family members or friends who suffer from this. I think it would be very hard to know how to even begin to help them and very difficult to witness.
I have served on a grand jury before. It was an interesting experience. I got another notice several years ago while I was dealing with the after effects of the chemo and rads and was excused. I imagine they will hit me up again now that some time has passed. I'm not sure that I multitask well enough anymore to absorb and retain all the info I would need to process and make a good decision. Somebody told me that if you are over 70 you don't have to serve if you don't want to do it I don't know if that is true or if they were wishful thinking! I still have a couple of years to go to get there yet anyway.
Well I need to run my comforter over to a friend who is a seamstress. It has come apart in the seam. She said she would look at it and see how hard it would be to restitch it. Since it is lined, I assume she will have to rip the bottom seam to get to the one that came unstitched. I will have her fix it if she thinks she can because I like it and they are so expensive to replace.
I hope that everyone is having a good weekend..
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Checking in....it has been about 6 weeks since I posted though I have read a few pages in between.
Work has happened and the hours are long.
I am about 10 pages behind here, which means this is a very active group! I love that those who stop by here can talk about almost everything and it seems so universal. The best part of being on BCO is we sort of have a level playing field....no need for us to explain about our experiences with BC; but if we want to it's fine. Each of us understands some of what the other has been through. The rest is life, and that happens as we go along. The ups & downs; the joys and sorrows; the good news and the not so good news.
I missed a few birthdays...I am hoping to catch up this week. I have Veterans Day off from work. Unfortunately, they switched our "day before Thanksgiving" college closure with Nov. 11. That's unfortunate but we will deal with it.
Saying hi to all....and thanks to you for being here!
It has been a beautiful fall...unseasonably warm lately. Soon enough it will chill and the winter coats will come out.
Best wishes to all,Joan
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rita: yes, that's true about not having to serve on jury duty if you're over 70 (my dad's personal experience)
Jackie: the dose of coumadin needs to be adjusted depending on how much Vit K you're getting. Too often the Dr just says "be careful how much vit K foods you eat", and person doesn't eat them. Now research is showing that low vit K is involved in where calcium goes and doesn't go (doesn't go into your bones where it belongs, and instead goes into walls of arteries and contributes to diabetes and heart disease). So a person needs to eat vit K foods, but needs to eat about the same amount each day. If person on coumadin wants to start increasing their vit K foods, it should be done with doctor's knowledge so Dr can check blood levels and adjust coumadin dose
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Real success requires respect for and faithfulness to the highest
human values--honesty, integrity, self-discipline, dignity,
compassion, humility, courage, personal
responsibility, courtesy, and human service.Michael DeBakey
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Good morning on this somewhat quite chilly, but sunny morning. I feel like ( the brisk morning air ) Fall is REALLY here now. It was near to freezing but the rays of the sun are warming us up a bit, and with no real wind outside, it actually feels ok.
I always resist just a little when the colder part begins - never seem to be quite ready for the changes that come. Got so tired of ( love-hate relationship ) not having seasons in California and so happy when we came home where I could have them again. It is just sometimes touchy to adjust to the changes.
Puffin, ah -- more good info. Also, makes me realize that I am not eating enough Vit K lately. The K research about keeping a pathway open so your calcium can be of the most benefit to you. I'm at a age where consistent exercise as well as eating correctly is sooo important. I do worry about are-related diabetes. My numbers on that tended to be up during chemo and have since stabilized -- but they never lowered to the really good numbers I had before cancer and chemo.
Joan, wow -- good to see you again. You're right. It is one of the big reasons I am here --- because I get to me and claim all my imperfection's in bold black letters and no one makes me feel less for it. Maybe that is a part of the lesson in a life that ends up including something like cancer. It is the only thing that ever threw me smack dab face to face with the fact that I would be leaving here at some point on a very special journey. The minute I was 'assured' that yes, I REALLY did have cancer --- my mind just went immediately to the thought that maybe it was time to pack for that journey -- no matter how un-ready it seemed I was. I think confronting that ( that very first day when I was home alone with the news that came over the phone ) set the stage somehow for letting the real me get a chance to come all the way out. Anyway, coming here has remained, even after all this time ( 2007 ) something that feels pleasant, and joyful, and comfortable. It is where the inner expression of thankfulness and joyfulness for life stay alive and well.
Hope you all have a gorgeous Sunday. I'll be back later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Puffin, I have always loved foods high in vitamin K - so when I was on warfarin, I still ate a lot of them - but as you said - I ate them every day rather than just on occasion. I wasn't aware, suersis, that avocados also are high in vitamin K, but I do love them, so it's not a surprise...
But I'm not on warfarin/Coumadin any longer, as they found it was giving my asthma. So am currently taking the lovenox/enoxaparin shots.0 -
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
M. Scott Peck
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Good afternoon, everyone. I haven't been on my computer much the last few days so I had some reading/catching up to do. My "baby" brother, all 6 foot 6 inches of him, was in town from Tulsa this weekend with his wife and their grown daughter came from GA with her dog. There was lots of visiting and my mother decided we should have our Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday while everyone could be there. My sister who lives about 3 hours drive away came for several days without her dh because they have ole McDonald's farm and can't leave all the animals. She went home with a new little animal, a miniature goat. It was small enough to ride in a dog carrier.
The brother who had back surgery was present for dinner on Sunday but he looks like someone who has suffered and is still suffering He is getting by on pain meds. His left leg is completely numb and he walks stooped over. He's tall, too, about 6 foot 5 inches. We all feel really bad about his situation. I wish there was something I could do for him. I'm sure all of you have experienced the same helplessness in regards to a family member. Anne, you feel that way now about your brother, I'm sure.
I went to the gym this morning, came home and was all set for a nice Monday at home when I decided I'd better glance at the calendar in the kitchen. Sure enough, I had a dentist apptment at 1 pm. This was a new hygienist for me and I loved her. She was so gentle and skilled and didn't cause me any pain.
Afterwards I stopped at Hobby Lobby and bought more yarn for crocheting. I gave away three hats this weekend to my sisters and niece. Now I'm working on more to take to the cancer center. I'll have to post some pictures.
Happy Monday.
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If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.
George MacDonald
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What a pretty picture! Living in Florida, we miss those things! I can post a picture of sunset on the Gulf!!
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BEAUTIFUL! JEAN
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The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not
the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances.
It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even
in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the
most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins
when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness
for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure,
one which will root deeply inside us and give inward relaxation,
peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be.
That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus.Billy Graham
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In loving memory of Bob and in honor of all those who served or are now serving for us.
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(((( Hugs to you, Anne )))). That is very touching and may I add my thanks to Bob ( departed but living on in in memory ) and all who served this wonderful country in which we have the great pleasure to be free citizens. No matter how little or big, job well done.
Blessings,
Jackie
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I need to say as well -- great pictures -- all. The sun has been trying hard to come out here, but it will not really make it. A storm, the weather people say is on the way. It has been a mite windy, but tolerable. That is helping to carry that storm here.
I'm really conflicted here. Out where I feed at Wal-Mart, my sweet old, old yellow and white fellow finally quit showing up. The most upsetting part of that was not only that we spent so many yrs. together. I could sometimes hold him, and had many a wonderful conversation. The last time he came down the path to get his daily ration ( fairly good sized ) he remained as skinny and to that degree somewhat frail as he had been for nearly a yr. He seemed to have just about the same energy and enthusiasm. We talked and I petted him a bit, then put his food down and left as I always did. The next day he didn't show up nor has he now for pretty well over three weeks.
My sensation is that due to his somewhat thin and frail condition --- some other predator may have come upon him while napping or something and perhaps that is why when he actually appeared for the most part fine, that he seems to have gone to a better place. I still miss that old sweet boy, but a couple of weeks before this happened another cat --- a nice mostly med gray, with if you look closely very pale orange spots on his sides, almost like well placed polka dots. That has made it a bit easier to go out to Orange & White's and my special feeding area.
My quandary is this: When the gray cat came he seemed very reserved and somewhat wary, though otherwise determined, invited or not ( well, hey, I'd never say no ) to join in with a good meal. Since he always 'turned' up from the same general area ( actually, there is nothing there really but an unused farm field ) but the cat never came from the farm the direction of the farm house really quite far away. He instead has always come from the highway ( in town the speed is well regulated ) but the area I feed in is well across the street from any homes.
The cat did not look abandoned when he showed up --- not scrawny and his hair and feet looked fine. Still he has continued to show up -- always still from the highway ( could be dangerous, of course ) side of the thicket where I feed. Not to sound horrid about it, but I always felt that I'd have good reason when my Orange & and White sweetie was no longer there, to finally give up the rather long ( approx. 7 miles ) drive to Walmart's and though I was in no hurry, save myself the gas and time and often big in-convenience.
Obviously, I'm still going out there. It would feel SOOOO bad if I thought ( I have been calling the cat Mr. Gray ) this loving, actually quite attractive cat was just being something of a little pig and helping himself to a decent hand-out, and actually belonged to someone. I'm not wanting to take in any more cats at my house period. But I confess, I've thought a time or two -- should I scoop Mr. Gray up and bring him to my house ( should he want to remain outside I think he could learn the outdoor ropes here since he seems to have a fairly calm nature, or should I not. I know how I would feel if one of my outdoor cats ( I have three that are actually indoor/outdoor ) suddenly disappeared. Yet, for such a long time I've had that thought that I could save such time and money and work ( in winter, I have to shovel out the cat area with a snow shovel and as the crow flies it can be a bit over 1/4 th. of a block. I'm in a holding pattern now --- as causing someone to lose a pet they love would upset me greatly, and in truth --- I never felt the cat was really un-familiar with where it was. Seemed to not have been nervous or particularly wary of its surroundings. Well thank you all for letting me rant. I guess I'll just wait things out for awhile yet, even though I'm so tempted.
Jackie
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Jackie, Is there somewhere you could advertise Mr. Gray to see if he is lost? He doesn't sound particularly feral to me either and he's always coming from the same direction. The orange guy sounds like he was at the end of his life getting thinner and thinner. If he was enjoying his meals and eating, it could have been a tumor getting most of the nourishment. I'm sorry he's no longer around. It's difficult if there's no closure.
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Wren, that sounds like a great idea to me. There is a vet's office a mile or so down the road, and I may consider making up a bit of a flyer type poster and take it around there and to the houses across the street. Though I know cats can 'travel' a good way --- I'm not feeling the notion that this one does. I just want to do the right thing. If I knew for totally sure he had a home to go home to, I would likely just stop going out there, but my guilt wouldn't let me off the hook unless I was sure.
Thanks for a good suggestion. Sometimes you are so close to the forest you forget there are trees there.
Jackie
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Jackie, I would probably do what you said.....scoop him up an take him home. Ypu might save hopim since he crosses a street! I hate to see animals loose on a street! You can tell, I am an animal lover!
Then, post a sign at the vet's office and a couple of places. If someone really loved their pet, they will call.
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suersis - there are a number of places online where you can get lists of foods with their amounts of vit K listed (as I recall kale is the highest). I understand about the cost of prescriptions. I had a hard time changing from warfarin to xarelto ($65 per month) to enoxaparin ($153 per month), but I got so I couldn't breathe and didn't want to just take asthma medication (and thus more side effects) so that I could tolerate it. I had to give up a couple other things to enhance my quality of life. I was fortunate that I could make that adjustment, I know that not everyone can. If warfarin doesn't give you any side-effects be glad!!
The key to keeping stable on warfarin (as puffin said) is to eat consistently. Don't eat a bunch of salad one day and none the next. Eat greens every day - not just greens, of course, but as a regular part of your well balanced diet. 0 -
mysunshine, yes, it has been hard to not take him. Though there are houses across the street, I'm not totally convinced he actually is coming from there. I really don't know, but have just been estimating and trying to make a best guess from how he enters the thicket. There is also a Mexican restaurant very near by where the cat walks to reach the thicket. I don't think the cat bothers with the restaurant dumpsters as I've not really seen him lurking there at all.
I didn't say before, but one other time a yr. or two ago, a cat showed up in the thicket for a few days -- and in hindsight I keep thinking ( it was gray as well ) that it was in fact, Mr. Gray then too. That has made me reluctant to do anything too soon since Mr. Gray seemed healthy ( no fight wounds or even older scars ). Still this cat back then only came a very short while, a week or less, then disappeared. I originally intended to give Mr. Gray a chance to return to what I thought could be a near-by home. I've now been feeding him for a couple of weeks and it seems as though maybe his previous home situation may have changed since he has been there on a consistent basis.
Around here it often happens that if something happens to an older person who may have had a loved pet, the "family" or "executor" doesn't want to deal with THAT burden ( ggrrr ) and will often put the animal out ( easy around her to figure out where most of the feral cat colonies are located ) and go on with the business at hand. As I thought Mr. Gray MIGHT have actually visited long time ago, I was nervous about rushing since Mr. Gray seems comfortable in general. Wanted to make sure if he had a home still, he had ample time to make his way there again. I will maybe give it till the week-end and then figure the best thing to do. Mainly thinking here that I'm usually around home for two or three days over the week-end where I can spend more time helping Mr. Gray adjust should it feel like he needs to be re-home from the area of the thicket.
I also might add -- that across the field to the East much work is going on since the process has begun for a super sized ( from the look of it ) Super Wal-Mart. Mr. Gray walks from the West towards the North to reach the thicket. Oddly enough, I'm in a field that is down a ways from the older Wal-Mart that is being replaced. I'm actually across from the front parking area of the old still in use Wal-Mart, though the land I'm on actually belongs to a farmer.
Well, we will see --- I'm only good for so long before I have to do something. My little guy Jimmie Dean was dumped at another cat colony. I lasted about two weeks with him before I could no longer stand it. I found him one day --- not with the other colony cats, standing off a bit. When he saw me he rushed over and wanted petted.
No easier way to tug on my heart strings. As he was un-neutered, I gave him something to eat apart from the other cats ( who do the I'm in charge here interloper thing usually ) and continued to do so, but every day Jimmie ( who wasn't yet Jimmie ) ran up to me wanting to be petted more than he seemed to want to be fed. Finally, all I could think of was this fantastic, loving cat who was going to run to me when I got to the old building where the cats stayed, twine himself around my legs, and look in my eyes with the most loving looks you could imagine. So, I put my cat crate in the car that one day. When I got there, of course Jimmie came running. I picked him up and told him I didn't think he was very hungry and that we'd just skip that for a little while. Put him in the crate, and after I got the other cats fed we came home and Jimmie has been here ever since. About 7 yrs. now. Of course, after he acclimated a bit I got an appt. for him and one other newcomer to be neutered ( both males ), as I don't believe in un-neutered or spayed pets. It didn't change Jim's personality one bit. Dh and I still have to guard against times when Jimmie just insists on 'his' attention, and will nearly trip us if we are not careful and look where we are going. He just starts twining around your legs if you are standing still for a moment. We will see how it goes.
Jackie
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Don’t recall if you’d mentioned it already, but has “Mr. Gray” been scanned to see if he has an implanted microchip? If he has one, it’s a sign that he belongs to someone (or did at one time). Usually, the person who registered the chip is notified that the pet’s been found. If he isn’t “chipped,” that doesn’t mean he’s feral and not a runaway, but still less likely that he’s a pet-with-wanderlust. If you do adopt him, getting him chipped is a good idea.
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Chi Sandy, not as yet. I will have it done likely if I take him -- on my way home. There is a vet's office close to where I live with a scanner. One never knows and I'm told that if a pet had a chip put in a long time ago --- they could stop registering after a few yrs. Hmmmm, but I would do what I could to gain as much information as possible. None of my pets here have chips actually. They are all ( save for the last few ) old enough that it wasn't in practice as yet in our very small town. The practice was that should you have a pet missing ( for any reason ) to put up posters around the area where the pet went missing and to check every couple of days with Animal Control who picks up 'strays'.
Our Animal Control ( looking on almost all cats as 'wild' ) do not handle them the same as dogs. Meaning just that they don't pick them up nearly as much. Cats usually ( un-like Jimmie ) often will if dumped, turn a bit feral and not approach people after awhile. If they have been put out very recently many will after a short while, but Jimmie was quite exuberant and determined ( he must have been showered with attention where he had been ) to be handled immediately on seeing me. I was usually the only person who ever went to that building and then only once a day.
Jackie
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Jackie, You make me miss our kitty, Cookie. She was the smartest cat we ever had and we had quite a few. She understood so much. She was a shelter cat, a Holstein, 5 black spots and a black tail! She died this spring, we had her for 8 years. After our previous cat died, DH said no more cats, we travel too much. well I lasted 2 weeks before getting Cookie. This time I'm being good, and we will be kitty less til we stop traveling. The one before Cookie was 21 when she died. They certainly become members of our family, sniff, sniff. Jean
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Jackie, I’m lucky enough to live in a Chicago neighborhood that has its own discussion board in both the NextDoor and EveryBlock sites. We get postings about lost and found pets all the time, complete with photos. Is Centralia large enough to be on either of these sites? If so, that could save you a lot of time and expense of posting flyers.
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Jackie, You are a good person! I have had many animals over the years. My kity I have left was brought to me as a ferrel 14 years ago. Her name is Happy! She still says away from strangers, but sleeps on my bed every night. 0
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Chi Sandy, I sort of doubt it. There are only about 14,000 residents here and we are about 4 1/2 hours South of Chicago. I figured I would make a poster for the a couple of the more local Vets, and one to hand carry with me --- and I would knock on the doors across the street even though I'm feeling for some reason Mr. Gray doesn't cross the street. It is just a feeling though and may have no validity what-so-ever. I do worry about Mr. Gray and since we had the storm late this afternoon --- it will be interesting ( I do go early on Thurs. ) to see if he comes to the thicket. If he REALLY did actually have a home ( since animals are so institutive ) with a storm coming he may have chosen to go back there. Just have to play be ear on it I think.
Bonnet -- cats make tremendous family members. Though dogs are wonderful, they can be though fantastic ,sloppy pets. Mine constantly bring in dirt and debris and leave trails all over my laminate wood floors. I wouldn't trade them for anything but the cats are much neater and cleaner and a whole lot quieter. The dogs are all instant doorbells any time anyone pulls into our drive-way. Most of our cats have made it into or at least close to the 20's. They are a joy for the most part.
Jackie
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