Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Jackie, I have said this before. You remind me of my animal-loving sister, Linda. Your new avatar is so cute.
Hello to everyone.
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Once you accept and rejoice in your authenticity, you begin
to see things as YOU are. You begin to see the authentic self
is the Soul made visible. Godspeed on your journey to wholeness.Sarah Ban Breathnach
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UGH!!! Once again I have written a rather long post, and lost it!! Me and computers are not friends right now!
I was telling you all about what a hard time I had making Lucia a photo book in shutterfly last night. I was up till after 11 when I usually go to my room by 9 to watch TV. I have over 400 pix in my computer, and some are in folders, some not, I have lots of duplicates, and pretty much had to download each picture separately. Then my laptop kept shutting off, so I had to start all over. I switched to my daughter's laptop about 8, which worked fine, but hadn't downloaded two pix that had to be included. What a job that was! I would have liked to take more time with it, but they had a 50% off sale that ended last night.
I have promised myself that if I finally organize my pix, I will get myself a new laptop.
Jackie- haVe you thought of putting notices up at your local stores? I love my two dogs, but am not really an animal lover and don't know that I would think to check at the vets if one of my dogs was missing. I would post a notice everywhere I could though. And I don't go to the post office a lot either. Just a thought. Good luck with Mr Grey, whatever happens.
Anne
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Anne, Now you know to check with local vets if one of your dogs go missing. A lot of people post there as there usually is a bulletin board in the office.
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If you take vitamins or supplements, I just found the site, LuckyVitamin.com. You can find ALOT of information there and ingredient lists and some prices are less than Amazon. Really good.
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Ha! I worked through manual typewriters, mag card Selectrics, early Apple computers, dos, then windows, Word Perfect and Microsoft Word (1 - 8). Not only computer "savvy" but can work without them, too. Just because somebody is "older" doesn't make them un-savvy. Just saying.
All that aside, I really relate to what you are saying. It does seem that most of the people leaving messages are younger. My own sister died at the age of 45 after fighting bc for 10 years (that was back in 1998). So when I got diagnosed at 64, my first thought was "look how long I have lived already!" I was diagnosed with idc after all the various scans, then biopsy, then another (surgical) biopsy confirmed cancer. Then surgery for sentinel node, which was thankfully negative. I am now undergoing Radiation Therapy.
My doctor at the breast center didn't really give me much information. I asked for a copy of the report, and did my own research. I read all the information everyone got, and I do wonder if my doctor, too, thinks I am "un-savvy" because of my age? Before I could ask him much, he sent me off to the local cancer center for Radiation therapy.
I realize that I am not going to die young, even if I don't make it through today, and my kids are grown, even my grand-kids are pretty much grown. Sometimes I feel unimportant compared to the younger women. Not their fault, but it IS sadder, I think, when a young woman with young kids gets sick. So far, I have to say I am doing fairly well, but radiation is starting to wear me down.
Thanks for starting a thread for us "older" women.
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WELCOME Emmiejohns,
I am so glad you found us. We are as young or as old as we feel. It is sad isn't it, when the younger ladies get this. Worrisome thinking that they must carry this burden while caring for wee ones. No matter what amt. of fear we may have felt I always think of them having so much more.
I'm not computer savvy at all, but don't much care. I had planned to avoid 'computering', but decided one day while dh was using it that it looked interesting. In no time I was hooked, even if I didn't really know what I was doing yet.
We are a pretty diverse bunch here and talk about lots of different things --- even cancer sometimes. There is life after this dx and most of the txs are done, the hair has returned, and you have gotten enough energy back to start catching up.
I do want to tell you --- you are very important. Here's one way of looking at this -- everyone here is here for a reason. It may be a reason we don't even think about --- like having the ability to know instantly who in a room is 'down,' lonely, 'feeling worthless' or whatever and smile at them. Most people never do a big thing, but oh the thousands of little taken for granted things like that smile, holding a door open, answering the phone with a smile, leaving a few cents in the change tray by a cash register for someone who hasn't quite enough. Just don't forget that little things turn into mountains when done often enough. One of those things may be the care and concern you feel for the younger women who must walk this path. They have a reason for being just as we do. They are important for their reasons and we are just as much for ours.
Rads can wear you out -- they did me a little, long time ago when I had them. I fought it off by trying to take a walk everyday. It seemed to work for me. Looing forward to hearing from you here often.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Welcome Emmiejohns. I worked thru the same list of machines. I love my computer and use it every day. One of my volunteer jobs requires using a computer to stay in touch with the other volunteers and management. I even have computer access to my medical team and records.
I feel for the younger women too. It's not the same at all when you have little kids at home, will need chemo due to age, and really mourn changes to the body. They are a brave lot.
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Glad to have you with us, Emmiejohns.
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What you put out comes back.
The more you sincerely appreciate
life from the heart, the more the
magnetic energy of appreciation
attracts fulfilling life experiences
to you, both personally and
professionally. Learning how to
appreciate more consistently
offers many benefits and
applications. Appreciation is an
easy heart frequency to activate
and it can help shift your
perspectives quickly. Learning how
to appreciate both pleasant and even
seemingly unpleasant experiences is
a key to increased fulfillment.Doc Childre and Sara Paddision
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welcome Emmiejohns
I'm a year out from my lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. 64, retired RN. hobbies: birdwatching, genealogy, volunteer photographer for findagrave.com - I've taken over 26,000 tombstone photos, go into withdrawal if any of my electronics are out of commission, thank goodness my partner is a computer nerd and gets them fixed quickly when I have problems
looking forward to getting to know you
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Was doing fine, now I haven't gotten any posts since the 11th. Hope they can fix me again!
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Welcome, Emmiejohns. Good luck with completing your treatment and getting on with your life. We talk about a lot of subjects except for religion and politics. People tend to be sensitive about those subjects so we tiptoe around them!
It's a gorgeous day here in south Louisiana today, sunny and cool. What will I do with this gorgeous day? Undecided. So far I've had some cups of coffee and am not dressed. So I'd better GET WITH doing something!
Hope everyone has a good day.
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Only the wise person draws from life, and from every stage of it, its true savour, because only he or she feels the beauty, the dignity, and the value of life. The flowers of youth may fade, but the summer, the autumn, and even the winter of human existence, have their majestic grandeur, which the wise person recognizes and glorifies. -Amiel
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Good morning. Many prayers for the people of Paris. Sad times ahead for many there.
It is pretty here with the sun, but we started very cool. It won't get too warm today --- maybe high 50's or very low 60's, but I do think Dh can get outside and blow leaves. I made chili last night to celebrate our cooler weather. Will cook some macaroni later to stir into the left-overs. Probably sounds terrible here ( not real fantastic for the waist either ) but we often slightly crush some corn chips and put a little cheese and taco sauce on top the chili mac. Always calls for extra walking at the gym for us. If we won't watch out we will end up walking half a day for some of our excesses.
Bonnets, I hope you are able to find a solid fix for your computer woes. Dh and I, since we seem to go through periods of problems just buy a service from Microsoft ( don't much trust anyone else ) for $149.00 per yr. Any time we have an issue or just want them to check for potential ( virus or malware lurking and waiting for the right moment ) trouble we call them up and they take charge of our computers and make sure we are ok. We did have to make sure though that it was truly Microsoft. There are others ( some even alluding to being Microsoft ) that will do the same kind of work for you -- but having tried ( foolishly I might add ) a couple we don't feel they even come close to the standards of Microsoft. Just an idea for you.
I hope you all have a great Saturday. I am going to work later tonight.
Blessings
Jackie
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Thank you. I am overwhelmed by the people in these posts. Every one of you has a "story" and lives, good and bad stuff, just human stuff.
The horrible attacks in Paris are all over the news. I am saddened by the violence and hate, and pray that there is a way past all of this. It seems to get worse and worse, and who knows, could be coming to a neighborhood near any one of us.
This is my first weekend break of Radiation Therapy, and I am feeling blessed that I do not have to go there, today. I could not believe how tired I was last night. I had blood tests today. It seems way too early for this fatigue to be a result of the RADS. Maybe something else is going on.
A friend is coming to see me today from a few hours away and will stay the night, and I have to get this place cleaned up. She's a good friend, and she won't see it, but I have to have it right for my own peace of mind. Instead, maybe I'll just make cookies.
All of my animals wanted to cuddle last night. We have too many - 4 cats [2 of them unintentional], two dogs [one of them inherited from a friend who passed away last year], and two horses. The horses get me up and out every day to feed [or groom, on a good day]. Still waiting for that wonderful day when I will ride again. Not up to it, yet.
Grateful for this community, where people seem to really care, about me, a stranger.
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Emmiejohns, You are not a stranger! You are part of our family!
I, too, am thankful for this community. I am also an animal lover, and have rescued many animals over the years. I am down to one cat right now, but have had as many as 5 with a dog. I am moving in a couple of months, but once settled, I want to adopt a dog or two....maybe older, maybe not so cute, but needs a home. I tend to feel sorry for those left behind.
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Welcome Emmijohns,
Please let me add to your welcome. Do not ever think for one moment that any of us does not care about you. I have been part of this group for almost two years. I found a group of women that understand me, wherever I am at any particular moment. Now, I consider them friends that share in my crazy life. I bounce from my home for 38 years in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl, to my oldest daughter's home near Atlanta, with side trips to So. Carolina to my son and NY to see my siblings. I have 5 children and 6 grandchildren, with two more on the way, one from my youngest daughter, due at the end of March, and the other from my son in SC, due in June, 11days after my youngest son's marriage. That is just the beginning of my stories, which is to say my life is not boring. But that's stories for another day.
I read on Facebook last night that the wife of one of the teachers I used to work with has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I told them my story, and that I would be glad to talk to them if they want, but also suggested she join us here on BCO, telling her that if not this particular thread, I am sure there is one she will feel comfortable in. They moved back up north after Hurricane Wilma 10 years ago. It is not in my comfort zone to reach out to people I don't know that well, especially to talk about myself. (I have no problem talking about my kids or grandkids). Without knowing her details, I could certainly relate to that awful time between the diagnosis and the start of treatment. Gus responded that they really appreciated my openess and will contact me when they are ready. Guess it is time to pay it forward.
Anne
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Anne, I think for many of us we want to "pay it forward". I know I do and feel it it is part of God's plan for me. We have to be here for each other!
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It is always nice when someone new joins us here...it gives perspective about the grand diversity of the ladies here. It is so true that we can talk about such happy times with our famiies, and then share grave difficulties....all the while accepting the fact that it is perfectly OK to post about pets, or food, or the daily tasks in life.
There is life after BC diagnosis...and we should not spend a lot of time "waiting" for things to get better. There is something to be learned in every day.
Jackie, I love reading about your kitties and how they have their own "circle of life"....how wonderful that you are there to help them out there in the world, especially as it gets into the winter season.
Yes, Teka, the day before TG should be for prepping and travel....but for some reason, my employer has chosen to ignore that. We will have very few students and faculty attend that day so it is kind of a waste of effort.
In this crazy awful but wonderful world we live in, I hope and pray that each of us can find beauty and peace in each day. More often than not, I have to turn off the news and just focus on my smaller world and the tasks and blessings that are there.
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I spent 5 hours yesterday helping the Boy Scout do his Eagle Scout project of cleaning up cemetery stones, photographing the stones and posting them on Findagrave. I was very surprised to learn that he could not personally do ANY of the work, that it was a leadership project he was being evaluated on. He's not even going to be adding the photos to findagrave, he got one of the other findagrave volunteers to do that. He asked me, I told him no, I had 2000 of my own pictures to add.Good thing it was a nice day, no snow, and about 40 people showed up to help. We got half the cemetery done, 2 of us did the photographs and the rest cut away the grass and cleaned the stones. The other findagrave volunteer is going back this morning to finish photographing the last few rows, the light just wasn't good any more even though it was 2 pm. His goal was to do 1000 graves, have no idea whether we met that or not but he was pleased at finishing what we did.
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It is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives
for which we should be particularly grateful.
They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness --
just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it;
just warmth and shelter and home folks;
just plain food that gives us strength; bright sunshine on a cold day;
and a cool breeze when the day is warm.
- Laura Ingalls Wilder0 -
Beautiful sunny day outside this morning. I'm so happy. we are due for three days of rain and windy weather starting tomorrow -- so good old Mr. Sun is going to be a very appreciated fellow by me today. I dread rain ( though we need it from time to time ) but mainly for the gloomy outdoor countenance. Too much gray and I am sort of moaning and groaning and having a hard time remembering all the wonderful things like hope and inspiration. I will get by ( thank goodness I have sunshine lamps ) but just hearing about the prediction of three days starts the feeling of dread.
This is and I think always will be a special place for me. It helped me be whole when I felt anything but that. Sharing a dx., ( a very frightening one ) with others soothed ( took awhile for a lot of the anxiety to fade well ) my total sense of being ripped out of my life and deposited in the strange nether-land of maybe your going to leave this Earth now. I can't tell you exactly when my sense of perspective came back, but I do think it was a lot sooner than it might have had I not been able to come here and find out how much company I REALLY had.
So much of it all had to do with the fact that we are so much alike -- same hopes and dreams and for so many of us here reaching an older age before dx. the thought of starting the process of a much less hectic life and a much more relaxed style. Sigh !!!! Well, that has come, but I would have never dreamed with the twists and turns that came along. I do indeed feel relaxed, but as much as anything it is due to the constant connection of the just like me group that is right here. In coming here, and staying here I feel an interweaving of life that I did not totally have before. That is why I stay.
So, more yard work needs to get done, but wondering if we will get all the way through. I wanted Dh to not buy another back-pack blower. I don't know why but they just don't seem to last around here and they are expensive. I've had an old electric one and it just keeps going and going. I know he finds it awkward since you do have to attach a really long ( 100 ft. ) cord to it -- but I've used it since before we moved out here to the woods, which means over 16 yrs. and it just keeps going. I can't recall how many back packs -- maybe five. Well, I may have to take my blower out and work on the yard.
Anyway, I'm going to have a good day and enjoy that sunshine. Still by the way strongly thinking ( with the rain coming for sure ) of bringing Mr. Gray ( not even sure it is a Mr. ) home with me. Ms. Pushover is hating the fact that there will be so much rain and wind too and that Mr. Gray, who I might add didn't seem to go anywhere the last storm a couple of days previous, will have to be out there. I got used to my Orange & White friend living in the thicket for so long -- he was there yrs. before I took over his care and feeding, but I don't have the same feeling about Mr. Gray.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Morning all,
Sorry to say that Sunny Florida is gray and gloomy. I have a lamp on at 11:30am.
Jackie, every time you mention your sunshine lamps, I think of my daughter and her kids in that windowless warehouse. The good news is they spend more time out of it than in it, and the majority of the time in it is spent sleeping. Thank God they moved into it at the start of the school year, so the kids are out of it at least five days a week. I know both my daughter and her husband are unhappy there, so hope they will start looking for a rental soon. On the good side, she and I found out the new baby is a girl on Fri. She told her husband, of course, but I am under a complete gag order except for my sister, until next Sat, when her friend is hosting a "reveal" party. Meanwhile, I told her I would make shirts for her other two kids, telling them it is a girl. I told her I am not even going to mention her name for the next week, much less talk about the baby in any way.
I don't think I have hidden the fact that I do not like her husband at all, and with good reason. I do my best to keep those feelings to myself when I am with her, but they were brought up again when he didn't come to the sonogram to find out the sex of his new baby. He "gets bored" at Dr's offices. He is the one that wanted the baby, but has no interest in the pregnancy or child until it is walking and talking. When his oldest daughter was born, he left the hospital within an hour and then came by for a half hour many hours later. With their son, he did the same thing, and when he came back 14 hrs later, he had cut off the hospital band identifying him as Dad. I asked if he knew he needed that baNd to go with the baby for various tests and especially the circumcision. He said he had seen his first son circumcised, so he didn't really need to see it again. He offered the band to me and I gladly took it. Not only did it let me go wth my DGS for testing, I also didn't have to show ID every time I visited, and I got 1/2 off on any food bought in the cafeteria. I was at the hospital all day, my DD who now lives in Atlanta stayed overnight each night. Daddy dropped by each day for a half hour at most each day.
BTW, when their daughter was less than a year old, he kidnapped his son from his first marriage, across state lines. The police came to his door with the mother and grandparents to get the kid back. He claimed it was a "misunderstanding" and got away with it. He has had no contact with his son since then - I think that was probably his "stay out of jail" card. Anyway, I hate hispompous arrogance and cannot see what hold he has on my daughter. These incidents are just the tip of the iceberg. But, I can't say anything negative about him, because he would think nothing of taking his family somewhere and I would never hear from them again. So , I will happily go to every Dr appt she has, and will be with her at the hospital. The only reason he is present at the births is because he fancies himself as an expert in everything and wants to make sure the Dr is doing things properly and there is no reason to sue. Although cameras are forbidden during the actual birth, he set his video camera up in the bathroom and left the door opened, taping the whole birth when his daughter was born. Even my DD didn't know he was doing it.
Enough of my rant. Hope you all have a great day.
Anne
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Yea, Jackie! I hope you have Mr. Gray home with you by the time you read this. The thought of little animals being out in stormy weather. You are a good person!
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Hi,
I wrote this earlier, but didn't hit submit.It was a cool but nice day here. After church I accompanied DH on a long ride to Montauk (the end of Long Island) where he is buying a boat. He has to bring it to a ramp to have it taken out of the water and brought to our storage place. Dh wanted to see the ramp before he attempted navigate with a boat he's never driven. He has friends going with him Tuesday and I will be spared the stress.
Next project: continue to empty closets once and for all. My life is busy now, and I just don't need to store 3 closets full of clothes. I am putting my summery things into a vacuum storage bag to store somewhere dry. I have a few things (a lot of things) to try and sell on consignment but they too need a place. The rest goes out...this week.
It looks like my Thanksgiving turkey size is growing....my grandson who I raised asked if he could bring his girlfriend and her mother from Ohio who I never met. I did not mention to DH....he may feel uncomfortable. OUr house is in "renovation-ready" stage and has a lot undone. But I think we can manage.
Anne, I know your stories are true because you "couldn't write this stuff!" Good for you that you get to spend more time with DD and be her support. One of my dearest friends has a sister who had UMX for lobular BC. The sister has a boyfriend who used to be a NYC cop and he had to run every aspect of her dx and treatment and always be right and keep the sisters apart....the difference was he was always there so my friend never had a moment along with her sister. It is a very extreme personality disorder, in my opinion, that some people have to control situations and people, as you describe, Anne....and it all centers around the controlling person's needs.
You seem to have been given the role of bringing moderation and normalcy to these situations.0 -
Studies of volunteers have shown there is a benefit to performing acts
of love for other people. The irony is that it is actually in your best interest
to be selfless. The things you do for the benefit of others not only
make you feel fulfilled, they increase your chances of living a long and happy life.
Remember that an act of love always benefits at least two people.
Bernie Siegel0 -
these are the shirts I designed for the gender reveal party- sorry I couldn't make them smaller- I've been trying for over an hour
Anne
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I have no idea why only one went thru. Here's the other
Anne
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Very cute!
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