Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Hello lovely ladies!

Saw my RO for initial appt yesterday - he is a very highly regarded RO and only deals with breast cancer.

He explained it all to me and now it makes sense. The chemo is to kill any stray cells in the blood that would affect the major organs - which is exactly what my MO said. The reason to do rads is because some of the tumor cells could have flaked off and still be in the tissue surrounding where they did the lumpectomy. These would not be gotten by chemo because they are not in the blood. I asked if I had a BMX would that change and he said no. With any lymph node involvement he'd recommend rads.

He took an hour with us and was thorough and patient. He uses the most high tech equipment and writes a program to individualize the rads and they are programmed to not go near the heart or lung. So, it seems to make sense and he explained how it raises the survival rate a certain percentage and I want the highest percentage for sure. Because there is lymph node involvement I am only a candidate for whole breast radiation because he wants to be sure to clean it up as much as possible.

So - CAT scan on Jan 4 and I start soon after that. Thanks for the reassurance that it's so much easier than chemo! The daily grind will get old but it's all close by.

I want to be done by March 4 because it's spring break and we have a trip planned with daughter, SIL and granddaughter! I will be celebrating for sure!

Sandra - thanks for sharing your journey to feeling old. I feel so much like that! I am tired which is not like me at all! I teach part time and come home and all I can do is rest on the couch! Never had to do that when I taught full time!

Thanks for all your sharing! Here's hoping for a good weekend ahead. I had Taxol #2 on Tue and am hoping this round is easier than the last. I have no taste buds but so far no body aches which we think were from the Neulasta shot I got as a precaution after the last Taxol. Did not get it this time. Fingers crossed!

Sailorgirl: so glad you like your RO and that he was able to fully answer your questions. Find out if your RO has a preference for what creams you'll be using during radiation. You don't put the cream on within 4 hours of your radiation treatment, but use several times a day. Mine said I could use aloe gel, vanicream, or aquaphor. I found the aquaphor greasy and it stained my clothes. I liked vanicream, I used the large container that had a pump dispenser. Also, you can't use deodorant or shave under that arm during radiation, so be sure and shave before you start. Some RO will let you use the natural deodorant Tom's but ask your RO before you do.

Your breast will be tender, I found regular bras uncomfortable and wore a soft camisole top with a built in bra cup that I liked, bought it at the specialty store that sells our mastectomy bras and products. My doctor wrote a prescription for a "post surgical garment" and my insurance covered the cost (it was pricey).

sailorgirl,

Good for you. Getting answers to questions that make us comfortable or pretty much so is what helps us do what needs to be done to get the most protection we can. We never know the outcome a lot of times, but doing as much as we can is the best insurance we can get for trying to make it the very best outcome possible.

I used aloe Vera gel, but do get the clear bottle if you do use that. I used it ( not the morning of the radiation ) several times a day afterward. It was not expensive so I was generous with it. Fortunately, my rads were during months where it was not hot, so doing w/o the deodorant was pretty easy.

Crispy outside but otherwise sun is on the menu. Can't disappoint me with that. I think it will be a really good day.

I'll likely be checking in later. See you all then.

Blessings

Jackie

Good morning all,

Sailor Girl, my RO had a specific cream she wanted me to use. I think it was called Radiogel. Anyway, it was not Rx level, but I had to go thru the pharmacy to order it as it is not something they normally carry. I think each Dr has their own favorites, but just know that if one doesn't work for you, there are lots of other options available.

Termite- congrats on selling your house and welcome to Fl living. When I moved down to Ft Laud from the Bronx in 1973, one of my neighbors, born and raised here, couldn't wait to get out of here- it was so crowded. Crowded?? We drove thru several miles of cow pastures to get to our town - and there was almost nothing west of us- a few really big houses that you had to drive on dirt roads to get to. Other than that, the biggest adjustment (aside from being away from family) was that everyone was so relaxed. In the Bronx, you ate your meals at the exact same time every day, you had a day for laundry, a day for cleaning, etc. Down here, dinner was whenever you got hungry, and having fun, even if it was just sitting in the courtyard with neighbors, watching our toddlers play, came before any chores. The chores got done, just not necessarily on the same day or same time each week. No one seemed to be in a hurry. Now, the cow fields are gone, we are east of the middle of the county and it is somewhat crowded- parking at Walmart can be tricky. But it still is not the frenzied rush New Yorkers face every day.

Last year, we were invited to a live performance of the Grinch at a local church. The kids asked if we could go again, but they are not doing it this year. But that reminded me of the Chritmas Pagent at a huge church in Ft Laud every year. I have never gone, but have always wanted to. I started looking for 6 tickets for tomorrow night, for me, my 2 DD's and 3DGC. couldn't find 6 seats together, then one of my daughters said she would go if she had to but wasn't really wasn't interested- ok, down to 5 tickets. When Tracy's son heard she wasn't going, he backed out too ( he's 13). So I finally got 4 seats together. After I ordered and paid for them, I was showing my GD some video of past shows, to give her an idea of what we would be seeing. Her brother (6), came to watch and said "yuck- I don't want to go there" so I called my best friend and she is coming with us. At $42 a seat, I wasn't going to waste the ticket. It is a 2 1/2 hr performance, ending with the Christmas story including live animals. It is my Christmas gift to myself.

Hope you all have a great weekend

Anne

I haven't been on in a bit, I'm sorry, but I can't keep up with too much of the thread. Working from home today, and I finish in 2 minutes, so I'm calling it a day.

Happy Belated Birthdays to the birthday ladies.

Termite/Emma, congrats on selling your house and moving to FL. It's 6 degrees in the Chicagoland area today, so I'd love some warmer weather.

Sandra, so glad to hear about Mike and your son. I'm so glad he is taking meds. It can help.

And, love the beautiful photo you posted of the riverwalk. It's beautiful.

Jackie, I love the seenager post.

sailorgirl, Welcome and thanks for asking questions about radiation. That's my next step. I have CAT scan on Tues. I'm scared and asking my RO if he'll fill out paperwork to let me work from home sometimes and take time off near the end. I'll be doing 16 days. Not sure about creams or focus yet. He did say it would affect the chest wall.

I was going to skip it, but the odds of cancer coming back go from 25% down to 20% with radiation. I'm blessed that my Drs. are letting me take 1 step at a time. He said after that I meet a medical oncologist for the hormone pills. One of my friends opted out of those bc of the side effects, but I'll decide when it's time.

Good news: BIL is finally looking for a place to live after I keep saying no to "extending his time with us." Told him I need to recover, have radiation treatments and I can't afford paying his utilities anymore. Our mortgage is going up (real estate taxes), our medical insurance is going up, pet food and litter prices are more expensive and on and on.

Bad news: Yesterday I went on a condolence call with a friend for another friend, a fellow breast cancer survivor, who was in a car accident and broke her leg. She was in a halo thing. She helped talk to me about radiation and her bc experience. She had surgery, was in rehab and then back to surgery for a bowel obstruction and she passed away. Her dh just posted on FB that he lost his best friend and didn't say why, so I had to wait a few days to find out what happened. Of course, her death upset me (who does death well?) and it reminded me of my mom (RIP). I said memorial prayers for her last week.

Then it brought up the whole mortality issue ... and the fact that I can choose DNR and to appoint someone other than DH to make the decision ... in case something happens.

And, then I need a new rabbi to do the service. I quit my congregation and found out the president also resigned as a president and a member. Have no idea what happened.

When we get back to my car, it won't start. It appears I left the trunk open and the battery wore down. I called AAA, but a nice man in the Walgreens parking lot told his wife to ask me if I needed help. I have cables but don't know where to put them. So, he gave me a jump and I called back AAA to cancel. I was on my way home and I get a phone call from a Mohamed somebody about the car service. Have to admit that after the CA mass and Paris shootings, the name on my phone freaked me out. I hate these hate crimes and admit that I am not fond of Muslim jihadists.

Thank G-d, I got home OK and the car started fine today.

But, it's one of those days. I did end up getting new cellphone service, a prepaid provider MetroPCS which is almost 50% less that AT&T. It might have been too impulsive because now my bluetooth headset isn't recognized and neither me or DH like our new phones. Change is hard sometimes.

Today, I logged in for work and now my photoediting software that I've had forever, PhotoShop is no longer working with Windows 7. And I searched online and it looks like it won't work with Windows 10 either. And did I mention that I need to take photos for work and for my jewelry sales online?

I just want to crawl back into bed, but I've got papers all over my office and laundry to do.

Sorry to be so long winded. I'm in a foggy place right now. Tonight I have my support group meeting so it'll get better.

I'll pray for all of us.

Linda

Just caught up with reading a couple of pages of posts. So glad that others have made responses to questions about treatment. I took arimidex for five years and didn't have major SEs, probably thanks to also taking 75 mg of Effexor generic. My main complaints were warm flushes, higher BP, higher cholesterol, and weight gain. I've been off arimidex for a year now and still have the BP, cholesterol, and weight problems so the real culprit must be age. I think exercise is very helpful.

Happy Birthday to birthday girls. Old age does come upon one gradually.

Today I'm invited to a Sweet Sixteen luncheon for a neighbor's daughter. So I'd better get moving and do some chores before I get myself dressed for appearing in public!

Happy Saturday.

Carole, I didn't know the big A can affect blood pressure. Mine has gone up a lot - and was high to begin with.

I am poking in to say I have been on Arimidex for four months with no SE that I know of. Hope it stays that way. I love this thread even though I don't write much.

Ritajean, Come on down! I live in Bonita Springs and the water is still warm!

Lovely day outside -- but mainly due to Mr. Sun. I think it may go away later. I spent all night with my little lady so I'm not too sharp this a.m. and have already sort of forgotten the weather report. I think it's ok though. The happiness the sun is creating right now should get me through my day just fine even if it doesn't stay as long as I'd like.

Was able to catch a little nap when I got home so that helps a bit too. Lots of frost on my window in the parking lot ( I stayed in the hospital with my little lady and it is a very noisy place at night ) this morning and so I had to wait a bit for the defrosters to clear enough away so that I could leave. Little lady has the bane of many inn older age which is osteoporosis along with osteoarthritis. She actually needs more overall movement I think than she will take on if ( like people her age ) the decision is sort of left up to her. We will see how it goes. She is going to need a strong round of physical therapy for sure.

Otherwise -- all is well and I'm looking forward to today and also to the temps moving up to the 50's. That always does a lot for me. See you all later.

Blessings,

Jackie

(If you think it's a little dramatic, you've probably never "you have cancer")

"What's it like to go through cancer treatment?"

It's something like this:

One day, you're minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE'S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE.

Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST!

So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear. Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they're cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion - "GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU" - and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming.

Also, for some reason, there's someone in the crowd who's yelling "that's not really a mountain lion, it's a puma" and another person yelling "I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?"

As you're running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy - they're half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself - why couldn't I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that - besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one?

Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you - maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my husband - comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming "GODDAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE," and the mountain lion punches your husband right in the face. Now your husband (or whatever) is rolling around on the ground clutching his nose, and he's bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain.

Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your husband in the face. And your husband is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying "can I get some help, I've been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken," and all you can say is "I'M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED I'M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION."

Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead.

Maybe. You're not sure - it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment.

And all your friends come running up to you and say "that was amazing! You're so brave, we're so proud of you! You didn't die! That must be a huge relief!"

Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you're having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says "boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!"

And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is "screw this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place."

Anne-with thanks to Michelle

Anne, I have been to that Christmas program too. It truly is amazing!

Anne, you're such a good mother and grandmother. My dh's mother was a great Christmas shopper. She once said she spent the same amount of money on each family. On the drone subject, I heard during this past year that drones would be one of the most popular Christmas presents. I foresee legislation regulating the use of drones with cameras.

I always dread the limited Christmas shopping I do. My mother feels compelled to buy each one of her kids (six) a family gift, plus a gift for the few children who will be present at the Christmas dinner. I am nominated to assist, which usually means shopping for the children's gifts and taking my mother somewhere, often Sam's Club, to buy the family gifts. She can't afford to buy expensive gifts and she's NEVER satisfied with whatever we buy. I call myself Scrooge because of my unenthusiastic attitude toward Christmas gift giving.

DH and I usually come up with a home-made gift for the neighbors and people in our families. This year we bought quart mason jars and he created wood lid covers, using his lathe. I crocheted Christmas ornaments. We're filling the jars with nuts or colorful candy like jelly beans and tying one of the Christmas ornaments onto the jar. I'll post a picture from my phone.

Our weather forecast for the week is for lovely weather, sunny and with a high about 70 each day.

Wishing everyone a good Monday. I will use part of this pretty day cleaning toilets and doing some housework!

Good Morning on this cloudy morning, but it is not too cold out today and the sun might peek out later. Always hoping !!!!!

Carole, I love Christmas yet dread it too. Since the big ugly C word came into life --- I've been fond of saying that every day is a major holiday for me and it is in fact, just that most of the time. I suspect without completely realizing it, I was likely holding that view for some time and just didn't recognize it before something gave me a GOOD reason to. I enjoy watching others enjoy -- or so I hope they are. It is something though I think of an ordeal for a lot of people who are called on to do certain things that may be difficult, costly, time consuming, or in your case having to assist someone else try and deal with it.

Your mother has a wonderful heart though as does all those who feel compelled to make the holiday as good as they can. We don't do much here either keeping things as low key as possible. We are more inspired by the created beauty ( the long decorated drive in our park lands that the city creates every yr. ) and the inspiration that families feel toward each other, along with those who decorate the outside of their house for others to enjoy. I guess Dh and I have a more voyeuristic holiday season. Out here on our tiny backwoods lane we don't decorate at all outdoors --- so we enjoy driving through the park and different neighborhoods in town.

The gifts you and your Dh are making sound delightful -- and that is the sort of thing I could find deeply satisfying -- something created with special thought and care -- not necessarily costly just heartfelt.

Looking forward now to getting a couple of gift certificates and a tiny few Christmas cards done.

Hope you all have a marvelous Monday.

Blessings,

Jackie

Anne, it's fun that you watch Lucia paint pics and do ornaments. You must be excited to see her at Christmas.

It's the first day of Hanukkah and my dh bought me DVDs, the Hobbit series and one on Jewish history, both we'll watch together. I feel negligent, I haven't gotten him anything yet. He'd like a game, but can't decide which one. He plays tactical computer war games. And, I was also remiss about his birthday 11/16. I shopped for a few girlfriends already; why are women so much easier to buy for?

Cancer messed me up, I'll admit it. It seems like I missed the whole summer running for tests, mammograms, ultrasounds, and MRIs. Then the surgery. Then the recovery.

Tomorrow I see my RO for my CAT or is it CT? scan to begin scheduling the radiation treatments. The risk factor goes down from 25% to 5% by doing it. I'll post more when I know more.

Here's my Tommy on my dresser after he looked at himself in the mirror.

"This experience on Planet Earth, mysterious as it may be, is simply an opportunity – an opportunity to grow in the consciousness of goodness."
- Peter Link