Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • ritajean
    ritajean Posts: 4,042
    edited January 2016

    Bonnets....It makes sense that infections can mask as nodules. That should at least make you feel a little better about waiting.

    Welcome, Leslie! There are many neat ladies on this thread. Come often and hang out with us!

    I can't even imagine 30 inches + of snow......and I don't even want to think about it! Wow!

    Having a good time in Florida. I just wish my golf game was a little better!

    Happy Belated Birthday, ChiSandy! Sorry I missed it!

  • chisandy
    chisandy Posts: 11,645
    edited January 2016

    Bonnets, my husband had a 2cm lung nodule discovered on an abdominal CT in May, which he was told to follow up in 6 mos. Had a second scan in Nov., and the nodule had disappeared--his doc concluded it had been “inflammatory in origin.” Sometimes you can have some lung inflammation that you don’t necessarily notice as such until it’s discovered inadvertently while looking for something else. Radiologists sometimes call it an “incidentaloma.”

  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited January 2016

    Thanks Sandy, they sure can be scary! Jean

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    image
    The surface of life is also in a state of constant flux, with good days and bad, victory and defeat. To maintain, as the ocean does, a deep inner calm, while the storms of misfortune, reverses, fears and worries lash at the surface of life, is to discover the secret of serenity.
    Years ago, when Thomas Edison's factory burned down, he wasted no time bemoaning his fate. Immediately after the disaster the reporters found a calm, quiet man already at work on plans for a new building.
    When Emerson's home was destroyed by fire and his precious books were being reduced to ashes, Louisa May Alcott came to console him. The great philosopher said, "Yes, yes, Louisa, they are all gone, but let us enjoy the blaze now. Isn't it beautiful!"
    Some people are ocean personalities. In their inner depths they are not defeated by what happens to them.
    The towering waves of circumstances cannot reach us when we go deep within to seek the peace that passes all understanding. While the surface of life is in turmoil we can find an inner calmness to see us through.
    image
    Wilferd A. Peterson

  • anneb1149
    anneb1149 Posts: 821
    edited January 2016

    Morning,

    Carole- I have been on an Effexor generic for about 20 years now. If I had any side effects, they are long forgotten. About a year or so after I started several meds for clinical depression, I decided I was healed and stopped taken them. Wow, did I dive into a deep depression quickly. So I haven't done that again. We (the Dr and I) tweak as needed and have changed meds and/ or doses, but I have accepted that I have an brain chemical imbalance. I self medicated with alcohol till I was in my late 30's, then decided that wasn't the best option. It is a heredity issue in the females on my mother's side of the family. My mother, sister and my two biological daughters all used or are using alcohol to self medicate and my one female cousin suffers with anxiety.

    Jean- on my very first diagnostic scan, they noticed a spot on one of my lungs. They did another scan after chemo and the spot had not changed at all. The Dr said that was a good sign - if it were malignant in any way, chemo would have changed it. I had a CT scan done in late Dec, it is gone. She thinks it may have been a scar from a long ago bronchitis or pneumonia. She said we will continue to do periodic scans just to make sure. I like that idea better than waiting for symptoms before doing anything.

    Hope you all have a great Tues

    Anne

  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited January 2016

    Thanks Anne, that is encouraging. Jean

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Posts: 9,002
    edited January 2016

    Anne, I thought I was weaning off the Effexor generic gradually but Leslie's comments were helpful in letting me see I was probably not going gradually enough. I guess I will go ahead and take the 75 mg. It just bothered me to have to take a "happy" or "positive attitude" pill since I am no longer taking arimidex and the reason I started the Effexor was to help with the menopause and arimidex SEs. I also have found it rather insulting that my mother and two sisters have made remarks that indicated they thought the Effexor changed my personality for the better. Oh, well. I will take the capsule and move on.

    A little while ago our new mattress was delivered. It's a firm pillow top by Simmons. Consumer Reports says the cheaper mattresses made by Original Mattress Factory are a better buy but I didn't want to order a mattress without lying on it There are no OMF stores in Louisiana. Plus we needed a pickup on the old mattress. This new mattress is very thick so sits higher. I have a couple of sets of newer sheets that will fit it well. I even got a different pillow out of the closet to try it. near

    We went to the gym this morning. I did my strength building routine on a series of machines first and then rode an upright bike for 20 minutes. Later at home I actually accomplished something. I cleaned the front door, in and out, not a second before it needed it. The kitchen door and screen door, and another door that we seldom open, leading into the laundry room from the carport.

    Now it's only 1:38 and I'm probably finished for the day! It's gloomy outside but warm, in the 60's. I cut several gorgeous camellias off the tree near the front door. The large tulip magnolia tree in the front yard is starting to bloom. I was afraid the blooms would be zapped by freezing temperatures but apparently not.

    Enough chatter.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Posts: 13,796
    edited January 2016

    Jean: I had "ground glass opacity" reported on my CT Scan a year ago. Don't you just love that name? They thought maybe some kind of scaring like Anne mentions. However on my newest scan in December, it had "resolved" - which turns out to mean it had gone away entirely. Hope yours is nothing to worry about.

  • anneb1149
    anneb1149 Posts: 821
    edited January 2016

    Carole- that was my thinking at first too. I didn't want to be Pollyanna, no matter what was happening around me. I had a tough enough time expressing emotions except with my kids, I sure didn't want to lose what ever I had. It took sOme time for me to realize that the Effexor didn't change my ability to feel emotions, but did help me express them, positive and negative. I still go thru depressions sometime, I have just accepted them, and even in the midst of them, somewhere understands that this too shall pass. I really believe the anti depression meds I take just allow the real me to come thru. And I have come to the conclusion that depression medication, when taken properly, is the same as insulin to a diabetic. The insulin is an aid in controlling diabetes, you still have to watch your diet and exercise. Anti- depressants are the same - they help stabilize your emotions - you still have responsibility to control your emotions. My brain does not produce some chemical that I need, so I need to give it what it needs. Believe me, it took a long time for me to get here, but I am no longer the least bit embarrassed or ashamed to tell people what I take and why.

    Anne

  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited January 2016

    Minus, Glad to hear tings turned out OK for you. Jean

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    It is an extraordinary and beautiful thing that God, in creation, works with the beauty of matter; the reality of things; the discoveries of the sense, all five of them; so that we, in turn, may hear the grass growing; see a face springing to life in love and laughter . . . . The offerings of creation . . . our glimpses of truth. -Madeleine L'Engle

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    When your life is filled with the desire to see holiness in every day life, something magical happens: ordinary life becomes extraordinary, and the very process of life begins to nourish the soul.

    Harold Kushner

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    Just beautiful here today --- very close to the 60's. Hard to believe. It will bring rain but until it does --- I'm really going to enjoy. All else is fine. I'm working tomorrow night --- and I really like it when I do Fridays. Then --- I don't go back to work until Tues. so I feel like I have extra time off. Also, though I don't have to consider banking on the week-ends ---- I do like to get some money in.

    I only recently got a debit card. I always felt I would not be able to keep good track ( after helping Dh thru a couple of messes he made ) or would spend money I shouldn't. So far, I haven't even come close to any problem. So, I can usually skip banking if times are not right and still have some access to cash if I need it.

    Jackie

  • sandra4611
    sandra4611 Posts: 1,750
    edited January 2016

    There are hundreds of adult coloring books out there. Walmart has them for less than $5 and you can find them at Hobby Lobby, Michael's, JoAnn's, Tuesday Morning plus many other stores. I buy mine, however, from Amazon.com. Since I have Amazon Prime, I don't pay shipping. If you put in "adult coloring books" you'll get about 50 pages of coloring books. Most show an option to look inside so you can see an example or two of what the pages look like. I have 15 now - everything from simple floral arrangements and birds to complicated geometric designs. I have lots of specialty books such as one on all the first ladies through the years, 50's fashions, Victorian houses, Easter eggs, fancy cakes, paisleys, and kitty cats. You can spend lots of $ on fancy colored pencils but some of the easiest to find are Twistables by Crayola. A package of 30 is less than $9. I have expensive ones too but really don't see enough of a difference to justify the extra cost. You can also use regular crayons, which come in so many different colors. Some use markers but the ink will bleed through the pages. Most of the books have designs on only one side of a page but not all. I've been at it for five months now and am getting pretty good. With all the stress in my life, it's a wonderful, creative activity.

    Three weeks ago I began a drawing class but I think I'm going to drop out. Last Friday I wanted to leave so bad but the instructor talked me into staying. I have no talent and don't think any can be coaxed out of my subconscious. The first two weeks were fine as I learned about shading, types of pencils, tones, and values. Last week he set out a bunch of objects and told us to draw them. Ack!!! If I could do that, I wouldn't be in the class. We were to use a ruler and an outstretched arm to measure the distance of one object to another, height, distance from the side of the table, etc. I was a dismal failure even with extra coaching. It's just not fun so there is no point staying. We're supposed to start portraits soon. No way! The class runs until June. I'd rather spend that time doing something else...anything else.

    My son is doing so well. You know, some people have service dogs but I think Ryan now has a service cat. His little orange Amy calms him like nothing else can do. He has given notice at work and plans to visit his sister in Chicago in March, with an eye towards moving there. Amy will stay with us for 3 weeks while he explores the city with Allison. Personally, I think it's too big of a move but I agree that he would benefit from a change of scenery. I think he would do better moving to St. Petersburg, FL with his other sister, Stephanie.

    Mike had his third bone marrow biopsy on Monday. They do them every 6 months. The last one showed no change from the first one, which was such good news. We didn't expect to hear anything until next week but were surprised to get a call from the transplant unit at the hospital telling us that the oncologist wanted us to see the transplant doctor again. Not good. Speaking to the oncologist today confirmed our suspicion that the biopsy showed disease progression. We expect to hear next week that he has been moved up one category and the transplant is likely to occur sooner than we'd hoped. It's going to be hard to wait until Thursday to find out. He'll be in such peril from the transplant because many do not survive the process. He is 68 and his chances of living through the first months of the process are less than 50%. But without it, he will likely die by the end of the year. No choice at all.


  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited January 2016

    JACKIE, I use my debit all the time. I call it my plastic check, and enter it in my checkbook register, just as I wud a check. That way I don't spend money I don't have. Also use it as credit , not debit, does the same thing, costs less.

    SANDRA, You have a lot on your plate, pray that you get some encouraging news. Jean

  • lindab142
    lindab142 Posts: 76
    edited January 2016

    Chisandy, happy belated birthday!

    Sandra, sending positive thoughts about the transplant. My friend has leukemia and had a transplant, same time as my surgery, so 4 months. She's so weak, but getting a little better every day.

    Done with radiation and boosts! :) I'm so happy, but I have moist something under my breast, raw skin and it hurts like a mother. I'm having trouble wearing more than a T-shirt (my jacket hurts, too). Called in sick today. Maybe tomorrow too. One of the bitches at work complained about my boss letting me work from home, so now I have to use sick time.

    Dr. gave me a solution to soak 3-4 times a day and a script for Tylenol + Codeine (didn't fill it yet). I'm using Aloe and keeping a torn T-shirt under my boob. Taking 3 Advil - they make me sleepy.

    Jean, I also use my debit card all the time.

    Well, off to aloe again and then to bed.

    Hugs to all,

    Linda



  • chisandy
    chisandy Posts: 11,645
    edited January 2016

    Linda, so sorry that radiation was so tough for you. Aloe helped me far more than did Aquaphor. CVS sells these large non-stick gel dressings designed for burns, but they do work well for most “wet” skin disturbances. Not cheap, but perhaps you can trim them to size. Try a plain Telfa-style pad first--it and the topical soaks may do the trick.

    Sandra, glad that Ryan has found comfort in his little kitten. Gordy has always had a feline “pal.” His tuxedo cat Pickles saw him through the worst of his depression as well as sat by while he practiced for his Bar Mitzvah. Pickles’ successors Mishmosh and then Matthew were his buddies as well (a pic of him and Matthew is his FB profile pic). Now our little black diva Heidi is his companion--she’s also "Daddy’s girl.” Hoping for good news for Mike--may he have as good a result as did tenor Jose Carreras.

    Jean, using a debit card has been great discipline for me--it obviates the need to carry much cash or even a checkbook, but it also reins in the spending since the money comes straight out of our checking account. (AmEx is almost as good--the knowledge that whatever we spend must be paid in full each month brings us back to reality).

  • minustwo
    minustwo Posts: 13,796
    edited January 2016

    Linda: Domeboro is one of the things my RO recommended. I found it at some drug stores.

    http://www.domeboro.com/skin-care-center/

    Miaderm was the other recommended product. I got that from Amazon.

    http://www.miaderm.com/

    Hope the burns don't last too long.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    Our opportunity is always to make the choice for Joy.
    To see the world with new eyes - open eyes - loving eyes.
    To choose compassion and understanding -
    for ourselves, our family, our friends,
    our community, for the whole world.
    - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

  • ritajean
    ritajean Posts: 4,042
    edited January 2016

    Jackie, you will do just fine with your debit card. You have a good feel for money and lots of self control. I think you will find that it's a great convenience! :-)

    Sandra....so sorry that you are once again faced with the waiting and stress! You have so much to deal with now and I admire your abilty to stay so positive and perky. I am sending extra positive thoughts your way to help, too!

    We are off to fish on the Sanibel Causeway today. Hopefully we will have fresh fish for dinner tomorrow night as tonight we are going to a buffet and dance at our golf club down here.

    Hugs to all of you.


  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    Good Morning everyone,

    Got my kitties fed and a side-trip to Walmart's' under my belt. Sometimes I am so disgusted with Wal-Mart as they so often end up being the only game in town. That will become even worse to an extent here as all winter long there has been building going on for a SUPER Walmart's and it will probably open in early Spring. I guess on the one hand it will be hard to complain as I won't have to drive 17 miles down the road to go to a SUPER Walmart, but at the same time I am still a bit resentful that other stores just can't compete. As there will be a very FULL line of groceries ( something lacking in our much smaller store now ) I'm wondering what will happen to our grocery stores here.

    Many of us do drive to the next towns around us that have the Super stores --- so after the first hoopla is over --- it may not make as much difference as I think. I hope not. I am happy with a few of the other somewhat competing stores -- like the Dollar stores ( which are not as sometimes cheap as their name implies ) along with Buckheit ( actually a larger store catering to farm animals etc. ) and Big Lots. We had a Big Lots and it closed and several yrs. later -- it returned. I do worry about that. We will just have to see. Haven't been as faithful going back to Big Lots as I meant to be.

    Sandra, I too felt sad by your news and am hoping for the very best. You have carried the world on your shoulders and still must keep on. I will send lots of positive energies and hope there is enough to buoy you up and help you peacefully face whatever comes next.

    Teka, I finally got my debit card --- partly due to the high price for check blanks, even though I switched to the very cheapest they had some time back. Often I was just writing a check for the cash I needed. I love the Aldi's store we have but they don't accept checks and as well, depending on when I get paid, many times it wasn't a good time ( couldn't deposit money and get some back ) to decide to do things. Anyway, too many times I was using "precious" checks just so I'd have some pocket money.

    I'm like you though about the credit card. Dh and I both have it --- but I've yet to use mine. It would all go on the same statement which is one reason, but the other is --- Dh is far, far quicker than I am to use that method of payment. I see a credit card as generally something to have in case of almost dire need when you can't or don't have a pay-day close enough to get your needs met. Also some things just cost too much and you need to spread a payment out somewhat. I have used Dh's card now and then --- especially to replace something on an excellent sale, but I try hard to see that 99 percent of the time it is a matter of what I see has REAL need -- like furnace breaking down in middle of winter.

    I did go for the Bosch dishwasher that was on sale. End of yr. and it was just under $700.00 and on sale for $268.00. My old one was 21 yrs. old and only had one setting left that I could use --- and many times the dishes didn't come out as nice as I would have liked. I generally give the money to Dh for what I "buy" even if he too gets great benefit from it and so he has been paid for the dishwasher. I'm still so glad I did it. The newer these machines are, the more likely they are to be energy efficient, and as well this one is so quiet that the only way I know it is on are the lights on the front panel. Lastly, unlike most of the ones I looked at -- this one/brand has a button for a half a load. I often use that since Dh and I are the only ones here so waiting for a full load ( 14 piece place settings ) would take such a long time and the thing is --- some of the dishes that go into my 'load' are ones that I use over and over so it would be VERY hard to wait for a full load. You know --- because of different sizes of bowls etc. that sounds good on paper ( big enough for 14 place settings ) but never really works out.

    Jackie

  • chisandy
    chisandy Posts: 11,645
    edited January 2016

    Jackie, I wanted a Bosch, and actually ordered one several years ago when the KitchenAid that came with the house gave up the ghost. Unfortunately, even though its dimensions fit in the under-cabinet space, the former owners had done a DIY installation of the Kitchen Aid, bringing the water connection up through the floor rather than the rear wall--and the Bosch didn’t have enough clearance to slide in over the water fitting! Had to get a Maytag, which broke down several times and never cleaned well. So I got a Miele, which has enough bottom clearance to slide in and fill from the back. It’s a fantastic dishwasher, but cost twice what the Bosch would have. (And the Bosch is still higher-rated by Consumer Reports). It’s yet another chapter in our 28-yr. saga of slowly undoing all the stupid DIY mistakes made by the previous owner (may he rest in peace) who was a department chair at Loyola. I think if I ever create a calligraphy, cross-stitch or needlepoint sampler to frame and hang on the wall, it will say “Never Give a Ph.D. Access to Power Tools.”

    Meanwhile, I hear your frustration with Wal-Mart. I try to stay out of them unless they’re the only game in town and I have no other choice (and can’t opt to do without a particular item). I don’t care how great the bargains are at Sam’s Club--I’m sticking with Costco (whose employees love working there and love their benefits even more). I record downstate in Sparta, which used to have a fairly robust downtown. After Wal-Mart came in, all the grocers except Aldi closed; the farmers don’t even bother to set up produce stands in season. Broadway (their main street) has more vacant storefronts than occupied ones. There’s a spiffy new-ish (4 yrs.) standalone pharmacy, which I hope Wally World doesn’t put out of business. My engineer used to own the only music store/lesson studio in the area, but business was down so much he had to close and now teaches out of his recording studio and sells instruments & accessories strictly by special-order. I hate what Wal-Mart (and big box stores in general) have done to small-town businesses. (They don’t impact cities and suburbs as drastically, since enough people there prefer the attention and interaction of smaller competitors). They treat their employees like dirt and pay them very poorly. And all too often, once they’ve maxed out the market in a small town, they close up and move on down the road to suck another town dry. And then people can’t understand why so many Rust Belt small towns are becoming impoverished ghost towns!

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    And when we come to think of it, goodness is uneventful. It does not flash, it glows. It is deep, quiet, and very simple. It passes not with oratory, it is commonly foreign to riches, nor does it often sit in the places of the mighty: but may be felt in the touch of a friendly hand or the look of a kindly eye.
    image
    David Grayson

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    Hmmm, yes ggrrr on Walmart take-overs. Our little town of about 13,000 was easy pickings for them. It is heavy-duty irritation to me. I never really thought I'd day it, but at least if we MUST have them, I'd just as soon have the Super store. I pretty much have stuck by a policy ( on a couple of occasions I've made an exception ) that I generally only buy non-grocery items costing no more than $20.00. Since Walmart contracts with well known companies ( big names ) to produce a cheaper ( stamped in parts meaning generally no repair ) product, I go somewhere else usually to buy higher priced name brands. So far, that has kept me from grief.

    Going to get up to 65 degrees here today -- or so it was said. I am just saying wow !!!! It is the end of January though and we have been known here to have things start to get really nice in February. You never really know though. We have had lots of cold and snow too ---- but maybe this will be warm this yr. for us. With the global warming cycles though I don't know whether to be glad or concerned. I think both.

    Lots to do today, but nothing out of the ordinary. I worked last night so will have the rest of the week-end on into t Tues. to accomplish whatever I might choose --- and I'd better choose something. I think I'm going to make some beef stew for supper. Haven't done any of that for a while and it just sounds yummy to me.

    See you all later.

    Jackie

  • Leslie13
    Leslie13 Posts: 30
    edited January 2016

    I haven't checked this thread for a few days, and see I've joined an active group! I've had a lot of Dr's appt's as my Orthopedist decided a month ago that my hip needed replacement ASAP. So the date was set for 2/10. I've been putting it off with injections, and the last one before my BMX really tore it up. I did all the pre-op testing yesterday, and they're wondering whether I'm physically or emotionally ready. Since my BMX was 4 months ago and ALND 3 months, not to mention having my father pass the day after my BMX, the answer is NO. But I don't know when, if ever it will be a yes. I'm not very ambulatory and pain is bad. So been having a p. Party of 1.

    Carole, are you giving up on the idea of stopping Effexor? I still take 300 mg XL Wellbutrin with 10 mg. Prozac. Some of us have altered brain chemistries that make living w/o Antidepressents difficult. Especially once we've taken them long-term. I've also had my family blame the meds when I'm being more assertive than they like. I was a gentle passive person when young, but with all the s**t, I've become a warrior. So is it a personality change, or life events that changed your personality.

    Cancer makes us more aware that we don t get out alive. And we may make choices that seem wreck less, impulsive, or just hard for people who haven't had terminal illness to understand. Travel is big on my bucket list, as are many other things. I'm not sitting in my recliner, letting my estate grow for my descendents. But I have no children, only a niece and newphew.

    Sanda, love your kitty graphic. Looks like my calico, scratching. I have appropriate scratchers all over so she doesn't damage furniture. The coloring book is a great idea. My best friend brought me several coloring books (adult) and colored pencils with my first surgeries. Wasn't something to do right after a BMX, but now it's a great way to get outta my head. I started painting post-retirement too.

    IllinoisLady, debit cards are good if you're careful how/where you use them. I've had one forever, but use a credit card I pay off monthly for medical expenses, another for shopping and entertainment. This helps me track where my $'s going and gives health expense records. I mainly use my debit card at the grocery store when I want cash, and to link into checking for auto-payments. Just check online often and link it to a savings account with cash just in case you overdraw.

    I'm sorry for those of you who are facing Wal-mart shutdowns and are losing local shopping. I'm one of those Walmart boycotters, but I have lots of local businesses available. I'm a big believer that we should try to shop local and buy American. But don't audit me. I have plenty of stuff from China.

    Teka, thanks for the welcome.

    And best to everyone I missed. I'm sure feeling like I should belong to the Older group today (and most every day)

  • termite
    termite Posts: 238
    edited January 2016

    Minus, Glad to hear everything turned out ok

    Sandra and Mike, praying for good news from transplant doctor.

    Linda, hope you are healing quickly and that was not very nice of the lady at your work.

    Rita, good luck fishing.

    DH and I are heading to Florida tomorrow to take care of some matters with his mother. Hopefully, she will be willing to have someone come in to help her with things around the house and to update documents for her care. Usually she is against any of this. We will also go check on our house and hopefully get a move in date.

    We are still at our son's house which is going okay. I am not used to retirement yet and still get a little antsy. Most of our things are in storage and most of our friends are still working during the day. I am getting around this town a little more now.  A few more months and we will be in our own place.

    Welcome to all the new ladies


  • ritajean
    ritajean Posts: 4,042
    edited January 2016

    Oh Leslie, it sounds like you are entitled to a pity party. You have had a lot on your plate the past 6 months. I am so sorry about your father. My mom passed away between my second and third chemo treatments and I still have lots of guilt because I was so sick at that time that I didn't give her the attention that she deserved the last month of her life. I don't think that I really grieved for her until about 6 months after her death. So add your father's death to the surgeries and all the rest and I say that you do deserve a pity party any time you feel like one!

    We caught a few fish today so it's fresh fish for dinner tomorrow night. These were sheepshead....a fairly mild salt water fish. I fished for a few hours and then I sat in the sun with my book. It felt so good! Davve continued to fish a lot longr than me. I love to fish but if they aren't biting consistently, I lose interest. I am always content to sit along the water and read. There is just something about the waves washing up onto the shore that is so soothng and peaceful.

    Termite...good to see a post from you. Enjoy your trip to Florida. Do you have a house in Florida or are you having one built? If so, what area?



  • Leslie13
    Leslie13 Posts: 30
    edited January 2016

    Thanks Rita. One thing about being "older" is we always know someone who has it worse and can give many examples. There's still more "boot strap" training in how to solve life's problems. My family's still very stoic, and I think many are, so we feel uncomfortable displaying fear or pain. And there's always many compliments for those who suffer and don't complain.

    And once you're my age, you don't need someone to tell you - it's internalized. This is a safe place to vent and I appreciate you listening

    Fresh, self-caught fish is the best. And a great Omega 3 boost

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    "Don't wait for other people to be loving, giving, compassionate, grateful, forgiving, generous, or friendly... lead the way!"

    -- Steve Maraboli

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited January 2016

    Good morning everyone,

    Leslie, you hit the nail on the head. I think a lot of us come from a stoic family. In this part of the country, many of the men folks from my grandmothers and mothers generations lost their men folk to the coal mines. There were I think fairly large families and widows' left with children to propel into life. I know a couple of my Aunts married just to leave home and stop costing their mother that money.

    My own sweet and beautiful Mother never complained about anything. She was always looking for a solution to something and never seemed, due to that, to have the time to feel sorry for herself. The one thing that still has the power to move me to tears almost is that when she knew it was time to "let" go, she told me that she had been suffering --- and I had no idea ( oh I knew there was some ) that it had taken so much of her spark and the emotion in her voice in those three words ----- I Have Suffered ---- just tore through me in an immeasurable way. Knew for her to actually admit that --- that it was far worse then I could ever imagine.

    I suppose I grew up learning stoicism and I have plenty of it to this day --- so I know we all go on. We do the best we can only letting our hair down now and then when we are at wits end and so wilted as to feel powerless -- but we know we can't stay that way. It's a temporary reprieve from having to straighten our back every second. Rita gave great advice --- sometimes, for yourself and no one else, you have to let go.

    We are having a gorgeous day in that temps will be back around 65 degrees again. It seems as though we won't have the sun though. I think even as Iowa gets cold and snow --- we will have temps stay up and end up with rain. That is what I'm thinking, but you never quite know. At least I did get ( it was mainly the rear cargo area ) my car cleaned out yesterday. There are some finishing touches needed -- though it is good enough not to need to be in a hurry. I may concentrate on some things inside here today.

    Hope you all have a great Sunday. See you all later.

    Blessings,

    Jackie