Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Thanks to all who sent hugs and good energy. I'm trying hard to not give in to the dark thoughts. It's hard. My doctor got back with me this afternoon. She wants to see me first thing in the morning. I'll be interested to hear what she thinks. I'm wondering if she'll suggest therapy--I have a therapist that I've used before, but I'm not so sure she can help me with this. It's really a matter of getting control of my thoughts and letting the meds do their magic. There is nothing she can do to fix this situation. I know, I know. But really? What good does it do to talk about all this with a total stranger who has no idea what it's like to go through breast cancer?
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Poodles, I tend to agree with you. It would be much better to talk to someone who has gone through breast cancer or at least had some she was close to go through it. Perhaps your MO/NP would be better along with an anti-depressant. Although I must say that I think my PCP would be a good one to talk to. Very empathetic and sharp! True, nothing can be done about the situation but perhaps something can be done to ease the intensity of your feelings so you are better able to cope with them. We know you are a very positive person so this has to be especially difficult for you. Wish I were there to give you tons of hugs in person!
HUGS!
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Here's a laugh ladies... Especially for you poodles;)
A woman was in bed with her young lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry, she said, stand in the corner."
She rubbed Baby Oil all over him, and then totally dusted him all over with Talcum Powder.
"Right, don't move until I tell you," she said. "Just pretend you're a Statue. '
"What's this..?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. The Smiths bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2am the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two frickin' days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.
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LOL, MLP. That made me chuckle.
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Hi Ladies - just a note on the oncotype score and chemo - it also depends on the type of cancer. My Oncotype score is 27, but because I have ILC, and the nodes were negative, my MO did not recommend chemo. As in Sandy's case, my MO said the chemo would not improve the chance of recurrence enough to offset the side effects. Also,he said chemo not so effective on lobular. Warm hugs0
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Dear Poodles: I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. You have always been an inspiration to me because you have been so extremely positive throughout your ordeal. I am sending you well wishes and wonderful thoughts so that you feel better. Good luck.Dear Randi: What part of Florida do you live in? I live in Palm Beach County and I know of good doctors here. South Florida Radiation Oncology has a good reputation. I cannot tell you first hand because I had my rads at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. However, I love my MO in FL. I would definitely switch groups.
Dear Melclarity: I would definitely do the DIEP flap rather than the TRAM flap. When I thought that I was going to have to do a BMX, I had done extensive research and the DIEP flap was my choice. I didn't want to use implants. Luckily, I had a LX with rads so the issue was moot for me. Good luck.
I wish that I was at the group get together. I am so happy that you were all able to meet.
Thanks for all of the well wishes for my son and daughter. My daughter thinks that she did well at her interview. She will find out at the end of March. Apparently, 800 people sent in applications for 130 interviews. My daughter was granted an interview! Yay. They will select 50 people. I have a strong feeling that my daughter will be one of the 50 chosen for the internship at Bellevue Hospital this summer. She is hoping to become a Physician's Assistant. I am very proud of her. My son is still feeling lousy. He had bloodwork done today so hopefully, we will have answers soon.
I forgot who posted but that is terrible news about the fact that they will be lowering the gray area range on the oncotype test. My score was a 14. By those calculations, I would now be in the gray area. However, I may have misinterpreted what you posted. Regardless, I did not have chemo so what is done, is done; or, what is not done, is not done. I cannot go back and have a "do over!"
I cannot even fathom what you are going through with your DS. I am sorry for you that you may be losing him. My heart goes out to you.
I would like to post to everyone but I worked too many hours today and I am exhausted. I am sorry for not posting to more people. Feel well to all.
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ROTFL, Melissa! Here’s another (albeit G-rated):
An American and a Frenchman were arguing whose cat was the more exceptional--doing tricks, having keener senses, understanding commands, imitating human speech, etc Finally, a Canadian who’d been watching and listening offered a tiebreaker: “You two take your cats over to the wharf by the river, simultaneously count to five in your own language, and simultaneously let go. First cat to surface is obviously the better swimmer and therefore the winner.”
So the American & Frenchman brought their kitties down to the wharf. Simultaneously, they did as the Canadian suggested. So which cat won?
The “one, two, three...” cat, of course. The “un, deux, trois” cat sank.
(Apologies to non-Francophones).
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Dear Stellamaris: You are right. My MO did say that chemo is not as effective for ILC. Thanks.
Dear ChiSandy and MLP: thanks for the jokes. ROFL.
Dear LTF: Sorry that you are having trouble with intimacy. It sounds like you and your DH will be able to work things out because he sounds very caring. Good luck and my sympathies. I wish that I had advice for you. In my case, I was forced into menopause so that I could take Anastrazole. Luckily, I still have a strong sex drive. However, that being said, the menopause and the Anastrazole have definitely reduced my sex drive. Good luck again.
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Dear Molly: I am so sorry but I forgot to post your name. I posted to you without referencing your name. As I said, I am tired.
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very cute Sandy
cinque...sank...lol 0 -
thanks all for the advise regarding sex. Hope next time is better. AF now.
Poodles I'm sorry about everything. I'm glad you are aware and seeking support from your doctor.
Taxotore tomorrow...night all!!
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614, thank you. I knew you meant me. Get some rest dear one.
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Hi Everyone,
I've read through a few pages, but I'm way behind.
Poodles: Your post made me tear up. I'm so sorry you were feeling so low. I know that someone who has had BC is good to talk to as my PCP went through it last fall and I've connected with and shared with her about it. I also have a regular therapist I see and I find it very helpful to have her to talk things through with. She hasn't had the experience, but I find the most useful thing about therapy is being able to get it all out in a safe place. The patient is the one that does the work in therapy, but a good therapist can make all the effort you put in so much more productive. I wish you good luck.
** I edited out this part of my message. It doesn't seem right to talk about my daughter's struggle with appropriate use of technology on an internet message board**
HH: Good luck with your mammo. I have a feeling my BS will send me for a MRI instead of a mammo given the density she encountered. If so, I will be in the porn (prone) position.
Today is day 10 of rads. almost 1/3 done!
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Gemma- with two daughters, I can relate to the girl drama. Happy one is in grad school n the other in college!!
Good one sandy!
My son asked a girl to the prom last night... His junior prom. He bought her sneakers because she runs track... So cute!! He put the sign andthe Nike box outside of her house and she came out. My baby boy😊
Off to second chemo today😷
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MLP3, your son is definitely a keeper! He is so darned clever!
Poodles, hope you are feeling a bit better today.
HH good luck with the mammo.
HUGS!
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HH, in your pocket for your mammogram. Mlp3, what a clever, good looking son you have! Waving Hi to Gemma.
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Gemma, saw your post earlier when I checked on my phone. Sending you hugs. Hooray for day 10 of rads!
MLP, you have raised the son that I hope to have in five or six years. So cute!! Good luck with your infusion today. I'll be back there for my four month check-in with the MO on Friday.
614, congrats to your daughter. Thinking good thoughts for her internship. You are always the most thoughtful and thorough about responding to everyone!
Poodles, you bring such light and laughter to the rest of us. Know that I am wishing you a sunny day.
Last week was my first annual primary care physician visit since diagnosis. Though the doctor and I don't have an especially warm and close relationship, she shared that she was diagnosed five years ago and also had chemo and radiation. She found that something in the circulation on the right side of my neck sounded funny with the stethoscope, so she had me scheduled for an ultrasound this morning. Will the fun never end? I'm just proud of myself for not having a meltdown on returning to the facility where I had my biopsy and diagnosis. I went with my second opinion for surgery, and am so glad.
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Gemma- Yay for being 1/3 of the way through rads! Just said a little prayer for your daughter and you.
LTF- in your pocket as you start the second half of chemo...Warrior on! You've got this!
Peachy- wow. Am so sorry about the ultrasound today- sending hugs and wil be in your pocket , too. Keep us posted.
MLP- LOVE the photo and the clever way DS asked his date. SO cute!
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Cute picture, MLP.
Regarding the Oncotest score, there is a thread on this site that discusses the TayloRx study on the Oncotest. The preliminary results showed under 10 was extremely low risk, but in the 11- 20something group THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH RECURRENCES yet -yay- to make a decision if that group needed chemo. Not enough recurences. So, even though the low changed to very low with confidence, the study is starting to lean toward other factors for needing chemo than an intermediate score. Before you get freaked out, I'd read the preliminary results coming out of the 10-year TailoRx study.
I go in for my mammo and a bone test tomorrow. Yikes. I like the AI meds, and I'm hoping they are doing good things in my body!
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614 - My son just graduated from UC Davis, and he wants to be a P.A., too! He finished up his CNA license so he can get hours/experience, so he's at the beginning of this process. He loves it. He needs a physiology class, but the local university class is full even before he tries to add. I don't think he realized that unenrolled grad students get zero priority. We know nothing about this process for PA school, so ANY advice you can send my way would be GREATLY appreciated!
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Jill, you are gorgeous, even during infusion. Thinking of you today.
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Jill- You are rockin' this infusion. Great smile! Nice nails. Hope the dark color helps you not have many nail issues with the taxotere. Thinking of you today!
Edited to add: Jill your eyebrows and eye make up look fabulous, too. Envy that you can make it look that great!
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Always so beautiful and stylish, LTF! (LOVE the nail polish.
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Jill, good heavens! You do look FINE! So pretty. Hope it goes smoothly for you today.
HUGS!!
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Dear Poodles,
After my mastectomy I was given foam pads that fit in my bra till I healed. I wore them from day 1. You can fit them in a mastectomy bra and then they won't go up. After I healed I was given lovely breast prosthesis. Even with just the bra on, no one would have known that I had a mastectomy (and I went for a big size cause I had been big). If your skin tends to be sensitive make sure that whatever is in contact with your skin is cotton - so for example for the prostheses, when I wore them in their a normal bra instead of a mastectomy bra I'd place them in the cotton cover they came in. The prostheses were heavy and they don't come up. In a mastectomy bra you don't need to worry cause the material of the bra will be against your skin. I had an Amoena mastectomy bra with lace - I felt good in it, honestly. They also have bathing suits.
Eventually I had my reconstruction and initially the tissue expanders were not fully inflated. The breast care nurse taught me how to fold surgical cotton wadding (they come in rolls) - you made the shape of a triangle and you continue rolling more around the triangle till you get the size you want - and then you put them in your bra. I used to put these in a normal bra - they always stayed there - but if you want you can stuff them in the pockets of a mastectomy bra.
About the crying - I understand you. It is a big change and loss. I am hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I'll feel relatively 'normal'. I am one and a half years after my diagnosis, and I don't yet feel 'normal'. But we'll get there. So many others on this forum have. They give me courage that we will too.
Take care.
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My friend Stacie owns a company that makes and sells lightweight breast forms. The forms are "made with small pillows that contain tiny smooth glass beads the size of a pin head encased in polyester fiberfill and covered with nylon tricot. A different number of pillows in each breast form, depending on the size."
Here's the website: Bosom Buddy
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thanks guys! Everything went well today and I was told I probably wouldn't get nauseous and would feel good the next couple days. So that's good. I'm not looking forward today's three and four, when I will crash from the steroids and possibly start getting the bone pain. But it will be what it is. I was really excited that I was able to make it to my daughter's karate graduation after my infusion. I did start icing my nails shortly after that picture, so hopefully that will help. Hope everyone has a great day!
I have always been very into make up, learning how to do professional style eyeshadow from YouTube videos and such. I'm quite pleased now that it's something I'm into, because it does make it easier to feel like I look good without hair. I still have about half my eyebrows and all of my eyelashes, but I know that's probably going
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614 - I agree with you, the DIEP seems the way to go, I wont know til scans mid May, Im trying to focus on normality until then, but well, you gals know how up and down the whole thing is.
PontiacPeggy - I meant to mention of the photo you posted, it really warmed my heart to see you and friends together.
Poodles - my heart goes out to you, it is a damn hard road, I agree with everything you feel! Im grateful to be 12 weeks PFC and back to work and normality...BUT...hit a slide yesterday. I was exhausted when I got up and in tears before I even left. Juggling everything has become stressful again and it really worries me, I cannot afford this path again. So Im going to put in for another term of reduced days. I just dont have the support of an Adult at home so have to juggle everything. The other thing is, always a damn reality check, An Australian Olympic Rower passed away last week, Sarah Tait, she was 33, battled for 3yrs with Cervical Cancer. I am positive and BOY do I strive and strive, but sometimes thing knock you down and I can admit I was shaken with this, the not knowing of my path. Alot of friends who were amazing through treatment, have dropped off...as they do because you are back in your life...but yesterday I fell apart and nobody really was around to talk with. Its an emotional journey, so trying to stay focused on where I am right now, not next week or after.
MLP - Your son is a keeper!!! how gorgeous!!!
LTF - You look great!!! keep going!
Sloan - Great news about your Son!
Gosh sorry so many others Ive missed, its 6.30am am exhausted and dont want to go to work, but last working day of the week. So pushing hard today. Had a demanding day at work yesterday, a student is struggling with behaviour and aggression, unable to self regulate, so my co-worker was attacked. Its a hard job somedays, thank goodness for patience! LOL
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peachy I just read about the ultrasound you need, good luck I'm in your pocket!
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