Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Muni, I can relate to hating having to take pills. I do it with reluctance because in the end I want to be as well as I can be. I hope you will get your meds thoroughly checked so that you can get the most from them -- and to think of something for the PTSD. I agree, it has been over-used but so has suffering when one might alleviate things and increase their quality of life. Hard though when your in the middle of so much to always SEE the way. I hope you will be able to find your best middle ground here.

Muni- my daughter witnessed her boyfriend accidentally shoot another friend at point blank range. That was 20 years ago and there are still certain triggers (no pun intended) that can set it off- like a truck backfiring. The term PTSD was not used much back at then, and mostly used regarding our returning military, but our shrink knew immediately what it was. Over the next few years, she suffered thru more trauma- losing her godfather (who is the only male she has ever felt safe with) to cancer, the girl from across the street whom she had been friends with since preschool died in a horrific car accident, she was date-raped, and had an abortion. We knew nothing about the rape or abortion till many years later. All these things happened between the ages of 15-17. She, like you, didn't believe that it was a "real" medical problem, and refused any drugs offered by the Dr although she used a lot of "recreational " drugs during that time. Thank God, she did not get addicted to anything

It got so bad, she ended up being home schooled for a quarter of her senior year. It was thru the school system. One teacher met her at the library a few times a week and she took another class on speaker phone. Then she came to me one night and said she couldn't stop the voices in her head, and was afraid she was going to hurt herself or worse to stop them. I begged her to give me 24 hrs and she agreed. I worked with some wonderfully aware administrators in a middle school, and I went into them early the next morning. The first thing they said was to make sure the hospital I took her to knew that it was PTSD, not drugs or alcohol. They kept her for three days, she said she was no longer a threat to herself or others and they sent her home with a referral to a new shrink. She went for about six weeks, bs'd her way thru every session, and then refused to continue going.

It happened again a few years later, with the same results. I believe with all my heart, if she would have taken the help offered years earlier, both medication and talk therapy, she could have saved herself many years of pain and dangerous living. Please find a Dr you trust and get whatever help you need. You may not need meds, or only need them for a short while. I, like you, watched my husband die in our bedroom. I shut down completely although I cried a lot that day- and I am not a crier- and I stayed shut down for at least a year. Thru therapy and meds, I eventually began feeling again, only to be diagnosed 13 months after his death with BC. It is not a sign of weakness to accept help when needed. It is a sign of being able to accept yourself, and knowing that all of us have a breaking point whenT it comes to dealing emotionally. I know that losing a spouse is the #1 most stressful event in our lives. Watching it happen doubles or triples the stress levels. Please know hat you are not alone. Many of us on this thread have faced issues like yours, and we are always here to listen and support.

Anne

I am on here late but feeling much better today. Yesterday was still something of a bummer, but I spent two days at the Dr's house while they took their loved one to Wisc. for burial. I kept the dogs. There is no bed on earth as good as your own. I did not rest well there but hey --- until you turn the corner it won't much matter where you are I think. So, last might I went to sleep at 8 p.m. and didn't open my eyes again till 5:30 a.m. In my own bed again was better than any pill too. Ways to go but I made it to the store today and the bank and did my morning chores. All came off pretty good.

I think our taxes will be break even again -- not making enough to have to pay in. That works pretty well for me.

Hope all had a good day. We had warmth and sunshine. Hope for more tomorrow.

Wow...thank you Illinoislady, Anneb1143 and Chi Sandy for your input.

I am going to take some of this and go with it and use it daily in my life.

Such storms last night and I hope anyone affected made it through. I think some tornados in Missouri and Illinois. We were okay here in south central Illinois. It looks all right outside and I think still fairly warm out. Hoping for a quiet day and praying for those who may have had problems of any kind.

Danville is about two and a half hours north of where I live. Many yrs. ago people from around here would go north to find work a lot, but nowadays the area 75 miles to the west grew enough to start people going that direction. That is more towards the river and the city of St. Louis, Missouri. When I was first out of school a lot of the younger guys from high school would go a bit farther to Joliet, Illinois to the big Caterpillar plant and work there.

Where I live is a real Podunk so to speak but it feels just right to me. I think there are roughly 13,500 people or so -- maybe a bit less. Our little town puts on big parades every year, hosts an annual Balloon Fest in one of our parks, and a winding trail of Christmas scenes during Christmas. Farmers markets in summer.

Sun has come out. Gray and blustery this a.m. I'm recovering yet from the bronchitis ( oh hurry please ) but did make out some bills and deliver them around town. Hope our rain is over for a bit now.

Chicago is not a “war zone." Yes, there is gang violence—and sometimes innocent victims get caught in the crossfire—in parts of the West and South Sides (and until two gangs pretty much annihilated each other over a protracted “drill rap" social media battle, a small corner of the far northern reaches of Rogers Park), but no more than most large cities. Los Angeles, Detroit, Miami, and the part of Brooklyn where I grew up have just as many if not more shootings. I know it sounds callous to say this, because it implies “black lives don't matter," but the city is essentially two different worlds—with the vast majority of it safe. Bonnets, unless you grew up in those affected parts, you might see a different demographic but you wouldn't see a “war zone" should you revisit.

And after years of declining gun violence in Chicago, the rebound began just after the city & state adjusted its gun laws (and established concealed-carry permits) to conform to the Supreme Court's Heller case; these laxer laws and new permits have allowed "straw purchaser" sales and other illegal means of getting guns into the wrong hands. So the legislature has before it bills to limit sales to be via only federally-registered dealers running background checks with waiting periods, requiring owners to promptly report all gun thefts & losses, and revoking permits of owners who have had too many guns “stolen." (Gangs get their weapons not just by actually stealing them but by purchases from permit-owners who fraudulently report them lost or stolen, as well as from nearby states with laxer laws).

Hyde Park is still pretty safe—with the U. of C. all around it, it’s too gentrified for gangs to infiltrate (heck, I can’t afford to buy a house there), and until recently it and the part of neighboring Kenwood where the Obamas lived was very heavily guarded and barricaded (much to the consternation of the neighbors who were detoured on their daily commutes). Englewood, Roseland, Garfield Park, Marquette Park and Lawndale are where most of the violence is occurring on the South Side, and Austin & North Lawndale on the West Side.

Ah, a view of a golf course! So DD isn’t as far “off the grid” as you’d feared. Where there’s golf, there’s a clubhouse…and perhaps members who have small kids.

Sandy- yes, in someways it is MUCH better than anticipated, in others, not so much. She is in a four plex, then there is another apartment building across the road, but no other apartments in sight. There are some beautiful single family houses across the street on the lake. Her building looks out of place and is dated. My brother has to go home for a week later this month, and, if my sciatica is under control, I may go up and put the rooms together. It could be a very cute home- tight, but nice.

Anne

Sally, en route to Folk Alliance when it was in Memphis and I was on a low-carb (mostly carnivorous) diet, I used to stop by a little BBQ, “BJ’s,” located in a BP station (smoker out back) in or near New Madrid. Haven’t been out that way since 2013. Is it still there? (Not that as a heart patient you could safely eat that stuff any more).

Hi to my oldies friends. Anne, the new home for your daughter and grands sounds nice. And surprisingly conventional.

Chicago is one of the unique American cities. I love visiting the downtown. Unfortunately, most of our visits through the years took us to the suburbs. The many small towns still retain some historic neighborhoods.

I picked up my new glasses at Walmart yesterday. Put them on and looked out into the store. WOW! Everything was crystal clear. I bought clip-on sunglasses and have begun wearing the glasses for driving. My vision is "legal" for driving but much sharper with the correction

I trained in Evanston and my Mom came from Wilmette. But I grew up on the South side.

Evanston’s less than 2 mi. n. of me. Our son Gordy went to school there (grades 1-12, Roycemore) and both of us took bass lessons there (and I also studied guitar and taught dulcimer there). He studied at Piven Theater Workshop for 8 yrs (3 of them in the Young People’s Company). Until we got a Whole Foods of our own, we grocery-shopped there. I bought my car there. We went to the Rose Bowl when it was Northwestern’s year. I get my cancer care and Bob his GI care there. When he was little, Gordy asked me “Mom, do we live in Evanston or Chicago?” I replied, “Evanston, but we sleep in Chicago."

Sandy, Evanston Hospital was and I imagine still is a wonderful hos[ital. Loved being near the lake. Cud walk to the house where my Mom was born. Love to eat at Walker Bros! Difference between the 2 ends of the L. Last time I was there , don't think it even ran all the way to Stoney Island on the south side .