Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited May 2017

    I just love these last few posts........I know I am the oldest....and many of the things that "your mothers" did.......I did, so you can see.......I am like the Mother Hen around here.........as hard as life was back then it was easier then the young ones of today......even my children who now are from 48-59.........my oldest now 59 will be 60 in another month.........

    I am not sure I would want to be a parent with young children today.......so much to contend with.....college tuition because someone made us belive that a college education paid for is a birthrite.......drugs.what is worse then drug.......the world "at war literally".....back in my day it was Japan and Germany.....today it is the entire Middle East........and the threat of neuclear war...........

    Everyone of my children lived at home till their wedding day....it was what you did.....Sunday was a family dinner table with everyone around it......I lived through the days of .......Rationing.....little stamps for "coffee, butter, sugar", and you traded your stamps for butter when your household iddn't drink coffe.......and that ugly margarine white pack of gunk with the yellow dot in the middle.....you kneaded it ti ll the yellow dot, colored the white gunk and made it look like butter...........never ate it....and till today cannot even look at margarine.....LOL......

    So keep the stories coming ladies.........I love them, and it does bring back memories.....of the days when things were "harder but yet easier"..........

    I want to share something else with all of you.imageimage

  • VelvetPoppy
    VelvetPoppy Posts: 644
    edited May 2017

    Is that you, Ducky? A beautiful woman.

    Smile

  • celiac
    celiac Posts: 1,260
    edited May 2017

    We also had the washer/wringer with hose that drained the wash/rinse water to a sink in our basement. When the weather was warm enough (grew up in northeast Ohio, on Lake Erie, with some brutal winters), we hung everything on clotheslines outside to dry. Remember helping my Mom with this. Was mortified that my undies were out there flapping in the breeze, but nothing like the fragrance of clean sheets dried in the sunshine.

    Lovely photos, Ducky. Your spirit shines through then, as it does now. Love your being the Mother Hen. Since your oldest is turning 60 soon & I turn 63 in September, you are only a few years younger than my Mom (died too young at age 62). Hope your family realizes what a gem you are.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

    - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross -

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    Yes, it was a lot easier years and years ago. Technology has many of us ( not us here too much ) somewhat spoiled. Back in the day so many people did not have a work-man come --- you bought what supplies might be needed and neighbors or relatives that lived close to you pitched in to put your roof on, dig your well, or whatever. Workmen were for rich people, but in our little town there were no REALLY rich people. So, only what you absolutely could not do yourself went to others. Like the man who used to come and fix our t.v. We also had a service come and clean our outdoor trash bin. A sort of trash bin. It was a somewhat crude 3 walled ( about waist-high to an adult ) wooden enclosure --- and we just threw our trash into it. Because not all that much ended up out there it may be emptied only once every 5 yrs. or so. That was mainly tin cans, and some bottles. Paper was usually burned at some time. We also had coal delivered into one of our sheds which had a special window in the back facing our alley, ( kept closed at all other times ) that was strictly for the coal delivery.

    I think the hard work that people did made them heartier and able to do a lot more in a day's time than many people do today. I don't mean that people don' t work hard now-days -- they do, but a lot of that work is done at desks and on computers etc. It was I think the physical aspects that took place on a daily basis that usually gave people more health and a lot more general endurance.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited May 2017

    I was 17 in the cap and gown.....and 20 in the one with the drape on.......long time ago.........when in high school.....I danced on American Bandstand.......everyday after school.....still love to dance today........got married very young.....just 21 years old.....like my mother said "good heavens girl, your still wet behind the ears and thinking of marriage!!!!!.......LOL.....I had already been engaged at 18......I was an only child and she could not face me leaving her.....we were so close....we did everything together.......still miss her today.......

  • wren44
    wren44 Posts: 8,075
    edited May 2017

    One thing about the "old" days that was easier: You could tell your kids to go out and play (after their chores) and let them go alone. Lots of kids in the neighborhood and no one worried about child snatching. Between all the stay at home Moms, a stranger would have been noticed right away. Today's parents accompany their children everywhere. I think I'm 3rd in line for age: 76 now 77 in Oct. My oldest child is turning 57 this year. I remember the wringer washer and the galvanized tubs and drain hose. I was supposed to hang the underwear on an inside line so other people only saw sheets and towels or jeans and shirts. In Houston the humidity was so high that nothing ever dried on the line. Luckily the laundromat had dryers. Today my favorite words on clothing are machine wash, tumble dry low. If it needs dry cleaning, I don't buy it. Being allergic to wool makes that decision a little easier.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    Wren, you are so right. Kids could and did more or less take care of themselves to an extent. We lived by the mine whistle and were told to listen for it so we would know when to come home form our playing. It wasn't a big town --- so anywhere we were when we heard the 3 O'clock whistle blow we knew it was time to go home. Most didn't eat that early, but the mine was the best way for kids to know what time it was. There were little woods around many of the houses -- not big enough for adults to "hide" in, but large enough for we kids wishing to be Pioneers or Indians. Sometimes we gathered in someone's big yard and played games and my girl-friend and I for hours at a time would play hop-scotch. We had some big barranca's and we would often play about what we would need to do to get across to finish our journey. Those were the days when life was simple and in that small town we needed VERY few warnings growing up. Strangers didn't show up much in small towns -- too easy to spot.

    If we had a summer rain ( no lightning ) we could play out in the rain. Every day was something of an adventure. At might the dew made grass so wet it felt like there had been a big rain. The frogs were everywhere in the grass -- had to be careful walking or you'd step on them. Fireflies were everywhere trying to light up the night.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Posts: 10,258
    edited May 2017

    image

    Okay, and this was taken Sept. 28th, 1957... We had been "going together" since we met in 1955... He was 18 at the time I met him... We got married at a JP, and lived "happily ever after".... Hah! More happy memories from those days, and bringing up 2 little girls, spending just $80 and making it last for 2 weeks meals.... I would make menu's, and buy food to have left-overs for a few days... I smoked when I was young, but quit when the packs were 30 cents a pack! Also it started really hurting my chest...

    Remember those old baby-buggies? Hah!

    Wren, that was funny.... Hiding the shorts in between the sheets... I remember that! And yes, WE used to play outdoors in the dark, ALWAYS! Hide & seek, Kick the can, and Jacks.... I LOVED jacks! A little gal on FB just posted how much fun she had playing together on our block, with our Daughters' ! Those WERE the "good old days"... Sheri will be 59, a week before our 60th Anniversary on Sept 28th this year.

    Ducky, did someone "color" your pictures? Because we only had black & white in those days, and then friends would "chalk" in the colors.... Those pics really ARE beautiful!

    Remember taking pictures with those old camera's.... with the flash? And then taking the film up to those little places to be developed? I have a VCR, and tapes from Super 8 camera's put onto the cassette tape, and we can watch when Sheri was just a baby! No sound, but my friends Daughter set it to music from that year... 1958-9 !

    And I had an old second-hand baby buggy, and would put both "babies" inside, and walk over to my Grandma's house... We only had one car, and DH had to take it to work.

    Vintage pram

    ONE time, in the Winter, we were going down the side-walk, I hit a bump, and it tipped up, and almost went over, but both girls just slid into each other...They were bundled up with all kinds of blankets,... so didn't get hurt.... Sometimes wouldn't it be so nice, to be able to "go back" to the times your babies were little?

    Sheri was 2 1/2 when Janie was born.... MAN, I don't know how we DID it!

  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited May 2017

    Haven't been around for the last 10 days, went on a cruise from NYC to Montreal! Boy all those memories, how simple life was. Yup, we played outside all day. My Mom had a teakettle whistle she wud blow when she wanted me to come home. Everyone in the neighborhood knew what it meant, "Your mother's calling you!" Walked to school, even in the snow, no snow days for us!

    When I got married I was nurse, had my first baby, my son,on my day off. Worked while I had a total of 3 kids and their father finished college at Cornell. My 2 daughters were deaf and I spent hours working with them, as they went to regular school and were in an oral program ,I took them to every week in Easton Pa. Eventually cud quit nursing and went back to school in special ed and speech. Continued to work as a speech therapist and do the house keeping and cooking and shopping. The kids father was a work-aholic, I was jack-of-all-trades!

    Some how we all survived and the kids grew up as responsible adults, though I lost my daughter from BC at 33yrs old. My son is now 51 and the younger daughter is 43, divorced with 4 kids. Now my husband of 28 years does the wash, and helps out around the house. Though he doesn't cook. If i were rich I'd have a cook, don't have to worry that will ever be the case!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Posts: 10,258
    edited May 2017

    Yes, when we look back on it all, aren't you amazed we did it all? Wow Bonnets! You should be very proud of your accomplishments... So sorry about your Daughter... there are no words..... Sad I can't imagine losing a child.... Bad enough when we lose our beloved pets....

    It's raining and cold today.... I have to do "stuff" in the house..... Getting the upstairs "bedroom" ready for when Sheri comes next week.... Going to surprise her Dad, hopefully! I'll get her phone call, and then tell him to go out back to unlock the gate, that our neighbor has something for us.... Then he'll see her, and I hope it isn't too much of a surprise... He thinks she is coming the end of June....

    The girls had their little bedroom upstairs.... So going up there, and straightening it out, and seeing all the pictures and memories, kind of brings it all back, when we were our little family of 4....! I remember they had bunk-beds at one time, and we heard this CRASH!!! Sheri fell off the top bunk, somehow, and scared us half-to-death! But she didn't get hurt..... somehow..... Thank God!

    That rail was then NAILED up there!

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    The winds of grace are always blowing;
    all we need to do is raise our sails.
    - Anonymous

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    Cloudy outside but warm. I may get to a home car-wash, but do have tons of things needing attention inside as well. Monday night I am going to go spend the night with my cousin's dog and then take him to the boarding kennel for them. They will be back on Thursday and get him. So, I really won't be much gone from home --- only during the night=time hours -- then back to my previously scheduled life.

    Funny story here -- because of our old fashioned tile floors at our house we used Johnson's paste wax. My dad being thrifty tried it out on his car. It made that car beautiful. My dad was a patient person often so he generally did the car in spurts. First maybe the top ( not easily seen but harder to get too ) then the front ( top of hood and actual front of the car ) then the fenders and doors. Last the rear and fenders back there. Well, our neighbor couldn't believe how pretty that old car became when Dad was done and asked Dad what he had used. Dad told him Johnson's Wax. He apparently left out the word PASTE. Johnson's had just come out with liquid wax in a bottle and that is what Tony tried to used. He nearly destroyed his car. He was a little mad at my Dad for awhile. I don't think my Dad actually ( I hope anyway ) did this on purpose -- left out that critical word --- but my Dad did have a slightly weird sense of humor. Later they laughed ( he and Tony ) about it, but what a mess and a half.

    Thinking of using ( and the bottle actually says you can ) and I've done it once already, the Murphy's Wood Oil Soap to wash my car. You wash, then rinse, then take those soft big lint-free buffing/dryer cloths and dry the car while buffing a bit. It was gorgeous last time and I'm sure will be just as nice this time. We were almost through the season for home car washing here when I found out about the Murphy's last summer. Hard to believe I've already had this car over a year. Time flies !!!!

    Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.
    We all breathe the same air.
    We all cherish our children's future.
    And we are all mortal.
    - John F. Kennedy

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Posts: 9,018
    edited May 2017

    Chevy, that picture of you and your hubby is a classic. You're too cute for words!

    I enjoyed hopscotch, too. And jacks. Probably would still enjoy them! But not be as good at them.

    We're having a not-so-nice day, cold and windy but not rainy so far. Dh and I drove 30 plus miles to Detroit Lakes to buy a heating element for the electric hot water heater.

    We also bought some items at a large nice supermarket and had lunch at the Down Town Cafe.

    The sun just popped out. 🌞

    Happy Memorial Day

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited May 2017

    Back home after a great weekend at my sons home.....

  • Seedsally
    Seedsally Posts: 141
    edited May 2017

    Good morning! Got up to thunder and sprinkles this morning and now the sun is out. Gotta get dressed and go work a few hours. We are officially retired but since it's our own business I am still having to do books and try to file stuff away. I will have to continue that part for the rest of this year if I stay healthy. Plus we are continuing our farming operation so I'll still have bookwork to do with that. It's the seed business we are closing. Hopefully I can get most of the ongoing stuff moved to my home office area before long. Well gotta go. Hope everyone has a good day. I'd rather be home spinning yarn on my spinning wheel but*******

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Posts: 46,506
    edited May 2017

    "There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up."

    – John Andrew Holmes

  • anneb1149
    anneb1149 Posts: 821
    edited May 2017

    I am now the proud grandparent of a HS Honors graduate. The ceremony was remarkably short, I think because there were so many graduates. The 3 main speeches were probably 3 minutes or less- It took us longer to find Michael afterwards. We came straight home, partly because of the time (9pm is too late to start going out) and partly 2 people stayed home with the younger kids, and the babies were already asleep. So, we are going to dinner tonight (there's less of us), then my oldest DD, who's son graduated and I will come home with the baby, and my youngest DD will take the others to see the new "Pirates of the Carribean" movie. Tomorrow we are going to an indoor water park, that we hope they will all enjoy, then Thurs we are going bowling at a place that has laser tag, and bumper cars. Fri, we need to get packed and we fly home Sat.

    This has been a wonderful time except for my 8 yr old grandson, the one that moved to Lake Placid in March. Apparently, he has been so awful at school that they are thinking about having him do school on the home computer next year. Wrong, wrong, wrong!! First, it reinforces that he is too "bad" to go to school (where he got all A's and B's on his report card), second it says if you are bad enough, you get what you want. From the time we got here, he was a terror. A friend's son was here for the graduation party, and he has some autistic characteristics, but he is the same age as Kayden, and they were doing fine until Kayden lost a game or something. K grabbed the kid's tablet and erased all the data the kid had. ALL of it! Then there's this new gadget for kids called a fidget spinner. My DGS and my DGD each had one, but K didn't. He took and hid Andrew's which was a limited edition, and broke his sister's then threw it into the woods behind the house. He also wrapped himself in scotch tape and a whole slew of other stuff. When my DS and his family arrived, I went up to the room K was sleeping in and gave my son and family my room on the main floor. K had been yelled at for hours and sent to sit in his room for 6 hours. When I went up, I told him in a very sad voice that I had looked for one for him at Walmart that day, but they didn't have them, and now, since he lost his sister's, I would have to replace hers, instead of buying him one. The next day, I was back at Walmart , it took the dept manager, but we found some. I bought one for his sister, and one for him. I told him he had to earn it though, by behaving all day yesterday, and today. What a change! He helped my daughter with dinner, sat and ate quietly, and went to bed fine. I told him I wanted his Mom and Aunt and Uncle to see the Kayden I know- kind, thoughtful and helpful. That was all it took- switched his negative, punishment worthy behavior into really good behavior. Meanwhile, I have heard his mom call him a "stupid liar" and my other daughter say he has split personalities. I want to shake them both- he is an 8 yr old child, who moved away from everyone he knew and started a new school in March. Even more, his teacher has changed 3 times since March. He says he is being bullied at school, the school says that's not true- have they no idea that kids don't bully in front of staff? He feels angry, bad, stupid and hurt. He asked if he could bring his bed down and sleep in my room last night- I, of course said yes. His mom said no- he was still being punished for earlier bad behavior. Was she afraid he was going to do something while he was asleep. A little positive attention and calm consistent behavior rules would "fix" him in a minute, because the problem isn't him- it's his parents who can't provide the stability he (and every other child) needs. I have suggested that he stay with me for part of the summer so he can go to the camp that my son runs. So far, it's a no-go so far. He is "too bad" to put in the care of others.

    Speaking of my son that runs the camp, he is the teacher of a special needs high school class. He found out last night that one of his favorite students, a severely handicapped young man passed away. It was sudden and unexpected. He found out when he had his 4yr old daughter at their community pool. When his wife and others arrived at the pool, he quietly told her what had happened and that he had to go home to make some phone calls. One of those calls was to me. His wife had made him a sandwich, and he was only able to eat half of it. This morning his wife face timed us because their daughter wanted to talk to her cousins. I said " it's really sad that JR passed away, isn't it?" She said How did you know? I said Rob had called me. As soon as we got off the phone, she called him to b**** at him because he couldn't eat a whole sandwich, but he found time to call me. He is devastated. JR has been with him since the day he started teaching. His daughter would face time him every morning so she could say hi to JR. I met him in one of those facetimes.

    Seeing a lot of new names- welcome to this incredibly safe place. Come by a lot, and get to know us all.

    Anne

    PS- while I was typing this, he found a return address stamper, and stamped the whole computer desk and other parts of the room

  • Tappermom383
    Tappermom383 Posts: 401
    edited May 2017

    Thank you for sharing about your grandson, Anne. How difficult for him - moving away from friends, dealing with changes in his teacher. But how wonderful for him that you see there are reasons behind his behavior.

    My stepdaughter, her husband and their daughter were visiting us a couple of years ago. Stella wanted to help her mother make a salad for dinner; her mother screamed at her that she wasn't allowed to use a knife alone (she was 7) because she would cut herself and have to go to the hospital. Stella screamed at her mother: "I hope you cut yourself and die!" Shocking - but as I listened to the parents talk to their daughter over the course of the visit, it was obvious where it came from.

    The next night, Stella and I worked together in the kitchen. When she wanted to cut something up, I told her she could with my help. Her response: "OK, Grammy."

    It's so hard to see these behaviors in our offspring and not jump right in!

    MJ

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited May 2017

    I have 6 children, 18 grandchildren, and now 7 great grandchildren...I see a difference in all of them.....my feeling is "they learn what they live"....I have also found that many times they behave better for a grandparent then a parent.....why.....because we have the time and the patience to address them...........todays parent's are a different breed......they either ruin the kids with no discipline, treat them like their best friend, let their kids make all the choices....and award them for everything they do.........my kids laugh at me when I call this new generation, and the one before it "The Entitled Generation".............that is how they think.......and that is what they expect.......when you see someone.....I can see such a difference in the way my kids raised their kids...........some did spectacular..some did well.....others different then what I would have done.......

    My problem, I say what I think......I don't hold back...whether it is one of my kids, grandkis, or great-grandkids.....like I always said when my grandchildren where with me....."I'm the mean grandmother"......you do your children no favors letting your grandkids do whatever the hell they please because you don't want to say "NO"........I always say "I'm not out to win a popularity contest, I'm just here to make sure I do the right thing by you.........I know...I'm a mean old bitch....LOL.........but my motto is.....If your mother and father were not allowed to do it when I raised them......the same rules apply to you"..........Respect is earned.......it is not a birthright......

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited May 2017

    Oh, and here is my newest little munchkin.....Born at 1:10 EST....to my grandaughter (Bobby's Mom)...a little girl Genevieve Nicasia....6lbs 8 oz.....19.25 inches long....a tiny little bundle....this is # 7 for me.....we now have....6 girls and 1 boy....Bobby is still the Prince......LOL.imageimage

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Posts: 10,258
    edited May 2017

    What a perfect little baby "Grammy"...! Yes, we did raise our kids "differently" than the way they are raised today.... I don't think they would even get their own phone until maybe junior high school!

    Our kids watched TV, but not that much.... they were always out playing with the neighborhood kids.... same as we did, growing up! And no computers, not that much technology.... thank heavens!

    My neighbor has a tough time with her 2 little girls.... She just isn't with them that much of the time! They drive her nuts, she says.... They are only 5 & 7.... And she is pregnant again..... She doesn't like them "talking all the time"..... and she is serious! Makes you wonder HOW DID WE DO IT??? She loves to be running somewhere... just anywhere.... Trips to Texas, Florida, and the last one was to Hawaii, and had his folks come into town to stay with the girls.....

    Oh well.... I just wish my oldest Daughter lived closer, with her Husband and 2 Sons.... I can hardly wait for her to get here this afternoon! She'll stay a week, with us and her Sister.... Lots of fun stuff planned...

    Have fun Ducky! Kiss that baby's tiny feet for me! Don't you feel like they are part "yours".... When I first held my new-born Grandson, it felt like he was "mine".... Hah!

  • wren44
    wren44 Posts: 8,075
    edited May 2017

    Beautiful girl, Ducky. DD had hair like that when she was born. All my grandchildren are boys.

  • bonnets
    bonnets Posts: 737
    edited May 2017

    Happ Grandma, lovely baby!

  • chisandy
    chisandy Posts: 11,646
    edited May 2017

    Mazel tov, ducky! Gordy was exactly that weight & length (a month early), and had just as much hair—only his was deep copper-red. (His hair is almost black now).

  • celiac
    celiac Posts: 1,260
    edited June 2017

    Congrats on the new family member! Beautiful bundle of joy.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited June 2017

    Thanks Ladies........Well you all know Bobby......"My Little Prince"......I call him that because he is the 1 boy great-grandson.........among.....6 great-grandaughters........LOL.......God help him......they are all under 6.....2 are 6...then 5, 4, 2, 2....and the new little lady....I have another great-grand baby due on August 7th......that will make 8 once the new bundle arrives......my grandchildren range in age from 34 to 17.........I just hope the next Great-grandchild is a boy...........Bobby needs a "male buddy".........LOL....sorry to bore you, but have to show you these....this is Bobby meeting his new sister for the first time.....he tried to give her his toy by shoving it in her face.....LOL.....then decided to push the bassinett around the room while she was in it.......GOD HELP THEM ALL..........LOLimageimage

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited June 2017

    Trust me, I don't think he is that close so he can see the baby.....its because he is a Mommy's boy, and i getting his spot with his mother....LO

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Posts: 9,632
    edited June 2017

    Going to a recital tomorrow night.....looking forward to this like I am a root canal..........i'm not mean...I just have been to so many with "grandchildren", now I have to do it with great-grandchildren........or suffer the absue of not going.....LOL.........its like going to a Graduation from anything.........Once your child/grandchild gets their diploma you want to leave, but you can't because you also want to see them for a big hug when the ceremony is over..........hahahahahahha.........so we suffer on, and on, and on..............I know, I am going striaght to hell.............not even stopping at GO, or getting my $200.00............LO