Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

To Melissa.

I frankly am very disappointed to hear your hesitation in creating a forum for us seniors/older women. I feel this is not inclusive toward older/senior women. I am 83 and was diagnosed a year ago. I have yet to find anyone diagnosed at my age. A problem I have noticed is that there are extremely limited resources specifically for senior/older women in terms of support groups. What needs to be recognized is that senior women are at a different developmental stage than younger women, we have different concerns and health issues, perhaps less social support and less family to help us. All of this needs to be taken into consideration, and not lump us in groups with young/younger women.

AARPs definition is 50 in order to join. Review the literature for a definition of older/senior. The fact that you have many discussion board categories is not a valid reason not to be inclusive for seniors, especially when women are requesting one! Perhaps some categories are redundant and can be eliminated or combined. I cannot connect “with others like me” if there is no category to do so.

Leisurely day since I am still experiencing back spasm discomfort. I am taking the med and asked pain management today if I can up the dose. I take it at bedtime so the SE's are minimal. Was given permission to add one during the day and will only if I am staying home where I can control SE risk factors. Biggest risk is dizziness = falls.

Decided to finally get to ironing I did not get to on Sunday. So it is off my list. I still want to dust foyer and wipe down the steps to upstairs. Won't take long to do.

Right now I am going to peel some eggplants to make eggplant parmesan for dinner. I also have some asparagus I will roast and cauliflower I will steam. May be all vegetable meal at this point. I have them in refrigerator and need to use them up.

Warm and very sunny today with temps not reaching the 60's they predicted. Squirrel has been raiding the suet holder and I have been going through a cake a day. Need to figure out a way to deter him/her. Greedy little bugger.

Saw my first bee today and think its early but guess the weather is fine for them. So to me spring has spring.

taco, glad got to spend time with your DS and BIL. Fingers crossed that cardiologist has some good news for Ken. Tough being a physician and also a patient.

Hope everyone I have not mentioned knows I am thinking of them and wish them a great day.

hi var2024

You found the right group. No spring chickens here. Today was my first radiation treatment. Except for the terrible whirling noise of the machine it was very uneventful I may take earplugs tomorrow. We had a weather spike of warmth today. Yeehaw. I painted the wee daffs my friend gave me.

Betrayal - good thing you were able to step in and help at PT yesterday. Nonetheless that is a very unsafe situation for everyone and unacceptable that they do not have a process for emergencies in place. Is this something that should be reported to your state medical board or another licensing agency? Sorry to hear about the back spasms - you just cannot catch a break.

Cindy - wow - you are busy. I enjoy hearing about your adventures. Wish I had your energy.

Chris - sounds like everything is moving forward. I do not think I’ve ever had a bra I’m happy with and it’s even worse after BC because I have lymphedema flares so I cannot wear an underwire. At my size, I really should be wearing a minimizer underwire bra. I tried going to a place that is specifically for BC patients but wasn’t happy with their suggestions. They sent me home with $500 worth of bras (billed to insurance) and none of them fit comfortably.

Taco - glad you were able to spend time with family. Thinking of you and Ken.

Illinoislady - hope you are happy with your haircut. I’ve been with the same hairdresser for 15+ years and have no desire to make a change. She knows me and what I want so I’m very comfortable with her.

Canarycat -thinking of you during radiation. How many treatments will you have?

Tomorrow the contractors will come to sand, prime and paint the drywall. We’ve chosen the basement flooring with a small out of pocket adder. DH thought the insurance company agreed to increase the budget but the adjuster said that was a miscommunication. We are supposed to move to an extended stay hotel next week for a two week stay while the kitchen floors are replaced and all first floor wood is refinished. We were offered four options by the insurance company’s temporary housing vendor. None of the options look good. We chose what we think is the best of those four. But if the online reviews are correct that the hotel is dirty, I suspect we will be moving into another option at our expense. Time will tell.

Var 2024 - If you got a chance to know people on this thread, you would be surprised by the number of us that are 80 or older. Life moves on and we're sharing it as we go.

Whew—so much to catch up on after 3 weeks (where did the time go?). Betrayal, good news that your ticker has passed muster for your upcoming TKR. (The only thing they made me do before my first one—I was "only" 61—was take a sleep lab study because the peri-op doc claimed she saw my airway was "crowded"). Of course, despite my weight at the time (200-ish) it turns out I didn't have sleep apnea: the "frequent small awakenings" coincided with my having to turn constantly to accommodate sinus drainage. I did snore, though, which abated when I lost weight (got down to 145) in 2019 and again now at 132. I find I can now fall asleep on my back and not have to turn over till after I return to bed after a "pit stop."

Chris, glad you were able to get the exchange surgery. Have you looked into ThirdLove, Cuup, BareNecessities.com, HerRoom.com or FigLeaves.com (or .UK)? You too, CanaryCat. After seeing an Oprah show in 2008 I visited her favorite bra store, Intimacy (now Rigby & Peller). Was shocked to find out that instead of 44DD or 42DDD I was 38H or 40G. No wonder I couldn't find anything that fit properly at stores like Target or Kohl's! When I was diagnosed I was a 38I or even J. Now I'm a 34G (F in UK brands like Elomi, Panache or Fantasie). My problem—besides asymmetry, as my lumpectomy breast is actually 1.5-2 cup sizes smaller—is that my girls are both pendulous & shallow. No matter how roomy or snug the bra is, there's always a "suspension-bridge-like" gap at the top of the R one, where the cup edge meets the strap, that I can fit my hand through. No amount of padding seems to be able to compensate. Foam cups seem to be more forgiving. As to sports bras, I can't pull them on overhead (and removing them that way is a nonstarter). So I step into & back out of them. Couldn't do that back when I was obese.

On the home front (literally), things are finally moving. The construction crew is not having immigration problems—the guys are all Polish so nobody's in danger of deportation. Last Wednesday the drywallers began. I got the call last Thursday to meet to choose paint & cabinet colors, as well as countertops & flooring. Met with the crew chief (whose English is good) yesterday. The drywall is up and prepped. Talked with the electrician today, who explained he can't install the kitchen ceiling fan yet because city regs state it must be >12" back from the stove. So once the final inspection is done, he can go back and install it. He's calling the place that sold me my espresso machine to find out its amperage so he can put in dedicated GFCI outlets for it, the grinder, microwave and Breville Smart Oven Air. I'm also finally getting a vented range hood—something I've gotten use to here because I do like to cook fish. (I will have to replace the grinder's hopper, Vitamix & Cuisinart, as their plastic parts do retain some smoke contaminants). He will also install outdoor receptacles so I can put up string lights on the deck and be able to light up the magnolia out back (white) and the arborvitae up front (seasonal holiday). And a dedicated circuit for the power bed-base we will be buying for the primary bedroom. (Gotta be a split-king, as we're both "kickers" and need to isolate movement—I'd also like to be able to raise the head of Bob's side when he starts snoring). Amazing how we got 22 years out of our Tempur-Pedic.

Estimate from now to certificate-of-occupancy is 6 weeks—so I'll plan for 8. We're paid up here till June, but not sure if State Farm will spring for yet another extension. (Original estimate was 12/31/24). My HK will fly in from AL to help us move back & unpack. The weekly cleaning service I currently use will also get this place back into broom-clean condition for the next tenants. Seeing as how they're Ukrainian, though, there's a possibility that our capricious Toddler-in-Chief may decide to deport Ukrainian refugees or even green-card holders—6-8 weeks is an eternity in terms of what happens in Washington. (Before things got rolling back home, Bob seriously considered buying this house—but the amount of work it would need to make it feel more permanent—especially cabinetry, outdoor outlets and natural-gas grill—would add at least $50K. And I do miss walking to restaurants, shops and the train (plus having a usable garage—the one here is situated so off-kilter that accessing it is difficult. Same with the next-door neighbor's, so we just share the driveway). I miss alleys, too—Lincolnwood doesn't have them, so we have to drag our trash & recycle carts out front each week. WIll be tricky timing the reversal of the change-of-address not just with USPS but with all our accounts and deliveries. And have to decide what we want to do about cable & satellite when we move back. Only reason to revive the landline is for faxing—we've gotten used to being attached to our cellphones.

Tippy is so clever with his buttons! We have a commercial down here for 5th/3d Bank with a terrier who uses his array of buttons to declare himself a "good boy" and then go on to explain that bank's advantages…and finally request his person get rid of their cat. My "gals" have such different personalities—Roxy is pretty calm and doesn't demand much from me beyond food, clean litter and a round or two of chase-the-laser (though she is practically Bob's shadow). She is still relatively light as a feather. BangBang is exhaustingly affectionate ("in-your-face" doesn't begin to describe it)—insanely jealous of anything that takes my attention away from her. She tops 13 lbs. now and lifting her (when she lets me) is a form of strength training. They both have a thing for exploring cabinets and opening lever door-handles. They've lived here now longer than anyplace else since they were rescued in January 2024 and we took them in in April. Not sure how they'll adjust to the move back home, nor where we'll put the litterboxes. Maybe one on each of three floors.

var 2024,

I float in/out of this forum, mostly out now,but it has been so helpful to me when I needed it- especially in the beginning of my 2019 diagnosis when I was 84. I will be 91 next week. Foolishly, I was never afraid of BC because I had had my ovaries removed at 35 because of cervical ca. and there was no family history. Everyone on this board understood my panic and, that in itself, along with their knowledge of lumpectomy, radiation, etc. helped me enormously and I felt part of a supportive community and not so alone. This week I went for my 6 mos. checkup with my oncologist, Dr. M, who Sandy, welcome back, lurking me has missed you, knows. He said, after what felt like hours of examining the original spot and the lumpectomy scar, “This is a normal exam,” and I now go to once a year appointment and a screening mammogram. He had also said two years ago that he was pretty sure I wouldn’t die of BC, but of something else. I don’t think he would have said that if I was 55.

Life, with all its mysteries, the quotidian of what to cook for dinner, the cats and dogs that comfort us, houses that need work and worse and this board is here to respond to all.

Sandy, so good to hear all your knowledge again. Off to Pilates.

Good to have you stop in, KeyWestfan. Glad you are doing well.

Countdown is on for the last of the PT sessions before TKR on left. Only 4 more days; Friday this week and M-W-F of next week. It is going well and I feel as prepared as I can be.

Saw woman who fell on Monday today. She ended up having to get stitches on her forehead. She went to an Urgent Care but they sent her to the ER because it was a curved cut and not linear. Had a big bandage on so didn't see repair. She says she is fine.

Today started out overcast, damp and cool compared to yesterday. Seems it rained overnight and it was supposed to shower on and off today but the sun is out right now and I'll take it.

I have multiple plantings of daffodils so everywhere I look, there is grouping of daffodils either emerging or in bloom. They make me smile because they are so cheerful especially when they are dancing with the breeze. The leaf buds are erupting on the Japanese maple right out side the bay window and the squirrel was there this morning removing some of the old residual leaves. Seems they line their nest with them.

Have crossed of most of the tasks I wanted to accomplish but will add a few more that I know DH can't or won't do.

Sandy, so good to hear about progress on house. It's always nice when you can pick what you want to update the space and make it yours again. The cats will adjust once they are there and we keep a litter box on each level so there is always access in case someone has closed a door for access. You'll feel like you have gotten a new house.

Keywestfan, nice to hear from you and to see all is well.

Chris, I am sure getting the surgical bra off feels liberating and hope the new bras are a good fit. Sandy and I share the same problem, different sized boobs but in my case it's the left that is smaller. Hope you have a matching pair now. Sorry to hear about the loss of a friend. Our circles do dwindle as we age and while expected, it is still heartfelt.

harley07, PT expressed she was still upset over what happened on Monday so I didn't address our discussion. I have been going there for years and always felt safe. However, when they changed hands in the past 2 years, they have been demanding more of the PT's with less support. The PT used to be 1:1 for at least 30 minutes of an hour visit and on some occasions 1:1 for the entire hour.

With the new company, they have to put in 16 patient hours in an 8 hour day (no paid lunch/dinner break) so there are times when they have a ratio of 1: 3 or more and that is a disservice to the patient as well as being unsafe. It's all about money. when it should be about observing the patient as they perform recommended exercises to ensure they are doing them properly. But if they are massaging someone's back, they can't be watching the other patients perform their exercises especially if the ratio is more than 1:2. Fortunately, they do not use PTA's so you are under the care of the PT and not an assistant.

The eggplant parmesan was delicious. I was lazy and did not peel the eggplant but it didn't seem to matter. I just drizzled olive oil on the asparagus and roasted them. They were so good. I will steam the cauliflower today because I'd like to make either a white sauce or a cheese sauce to drizzle on it. I have plenty of the eggplant parmesan left, so will probably freeze some.

Parakeets are now eating with their beak trims having been a success. So glad they are healthy again. They are back to bickering with one another so all is well in their world.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

We are under a severe thunderstorm watch. Very unusual for Seattle but quite familiar from growing up in Oklahoma and living in Texas. They are warning about large hail and a remote chance of a tornado. I’m parked under a big tree which should help if we get hail. It’s a cedar so I am not worried it might fall.

Not going to wait will tomorrow but hope all stays well with you in the Seattle storms, Wren. It's good that you familiar with hail. We have very little here but a metal roof so we really 'know' it's going on. I definitely hope the tornado stays extremely remote. That is a worrisome thing for sure. Fingers crossed.

Good morning, Ladies. So much to catch up on. I am well and busy with mostly good things. My niece's birthday is April 5. She and I have so many "Adventures" that I got her a pre-paid pass to all the Florida State Parks. Now she can have a year of Adventures.

Jackie, I remember Chevy.

vcr2024, stop in anytime

Canarycat, hope the the radiation isn't too bad. Mine became bad toward the end, but I hung in there.

Chris, these bra sizes are beyond me. I am a 32B after BC

On another discussion forum, there was a post updating Chevy's current situation, living in a retirement development near her younger daughter. She loved her little back garden in her former home and would post photos. I'm sure she was well paid for the house and is very comfortable, financially. We always enjoyed her back-and-forth conversations with Cammie, both of them "characters." Sadly, Cammie is deceased.

Yes, Jackie, I remember the turmoil from years past. I even dropped off for a while and returned, I believe, as the result of a message from you that it was safe to come back. LOL.

I'm thinking I will address my attention to our back porch and adjoining patio today and power wash the stamped concrete floor, which develops black patches. I guess it's mildew. It's a pointless cleaning because eventually the black returns. My planters on the patio are sporting weeds, some of which are blooming. My new attitude is that blooming weeds are good for the bees. So is the blooming clover out on our expansive lawn. I guess it's fortunate that we don't live in a subdivision with an HOA. I suspect the neatly trimmed look is a thing of the past, except during the summer when Lila and Tony take over the lawn care. They don't do flower beds and I don't seem to be doing them lately either.

Wishing everyone a good Thursday.

Fortunately our thunderstorm was a non event where I live. There was thunder and lightning to the south. I prefer empty warnings to the headline ones.