how about drinking?
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I did a succulent workshop today at my fav nursery
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Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Sunday Funday! Six whole degrees outside this ayem, the puppers made their ayem trips out very short today! I got an email from Mom's facility yesterday, norovirus has struck again, this time in 2 areas, the memory care and Mom's "neighborhood". There's a day care program that meets at the facility that has a couple of participants out with RSV. Iโm surprised there hasn't been some flu there yet this season. Mom is still struggling with using her phone but I think I have found a phone that will work better for her. It's designed for people with memory and dexterity issues and includes remote management by a caregiver, one touch dialing, and the controls/settings can be locked by the caregiver so the user can't change them. I've got to research it a little more, but I'm seriously considering getting one and changing Mom's service provider. She currently has a Lively phone, which is supposed to be easier, and in many way it is, but it is still a cell phone with lots of menus to navigate (or be played with).
Jazzy--Nursing has had interstate compacts for some time. It's also called licensing reciprocity. I can practice nursing in any state that Maine has a reciprocity agreement with on my Maine license without getting a nursing license in that state. The benefits are that I can go to work immediately in another compact state if I move, or are there temporarily or in an emergency situation without paying for another license and going through that state's licensing process, which can include residency requirements, testing, fingerprinting, background checking, etc. It started out as a way to get nurses into disaster areas as quickly as possible to provide relief care. The downsides are that each state has its own unique set of requirements for licensure and Nurse Practice Acts which delineate what nurses can and cannot do, making it easier for a nurse to perform a task or provide a specific care that is allowed in the home state but not in the currently working state, states lose some income from licensing fees, and its harder to track a nurse that complaints or other issues. It's not a perfect system, but it has allowed nurses to respond to disasters and emergencies more quickly and move around more easily. That NM has no cap on medical malpractice is going to a big influencer, as that applies to nurses as well as other providers. Add to that the new trend of nurses being criminally prosecuted for errors, and the old trend of nursing not being valued by hospitals and medical systems and the number of people going into nursing is going to continue to continue to decline. I depended on the ACA for health insurance for a couple of years when I wasn't working full time. I finally realized that I would be better off without insurance given how much I was paying per month and the huge deductible I would need to meet before anything got covered. I discovered there are lots of ways to get medication less expensively without insurance and many doctor's office fees were considerably less than what was billed to insurance companies when the insurance box said "self-pay". It's a lot less expensive for the office/hospital to bill a person than file a claim with an insurance company. And you are very right, the entire health care system is about to collapse. It's going to be a major mess when it happens.
Teka--Iโm glad you got good care! That is so important. Never seeing an actual Urologist doesn't surprise me, that is the trend more and more now. And it's not so bad if the practice has enough staff and resources to actually provide the care needed. It's not the specialist doctor that is making treatment recommendations any more, it's the insurance companies' requirements or computerized algorithms that are driving care, because it is so important that every patient get treated exactly like every other patient with the same diagnosis. Here's praying you have a good report at the next appointment.
mOmmy--hugs!
Wally--hugs to you and your DH, too! I am so angry that the hospice people were cruel. I hope you get satisfaction from the director. That's not what hospice is supposed to be about.
Jazzy--LOL!! Love the planter and succs!
Lemonade Recipe
โข 2 meyer lemons, juiced
โข 2 cups filtered water
โข 1 tbsp raw cane sugar
Directions: Mix ingredients in a large pitcher and chill.
Winter Blues Cocktail
Ingredients:
โข 1 shot of UV blue raspberry vodka
โข 4 oz lemonade
โข IceDirections: Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake. Serve over ice. Enjoy!
Happy Sipping!From
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Teka - I was glad to see Breezy won the gold. I saw the clip where she was crying up on the podium when she got her medal. Probably for a lot of reasons. I just read Lindsey broke her leg and had surgery. She has a lot of recovery ahead of her ๐
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Was thrilled to see our Mixed Doubles Curling team win both matches yesterday.
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This is what I sent to 4 top folks at our local hospital this morning:
Dear Jefferson Healthcare folks,
I'm writing this out of desperation. Several community members have mentioned to me that they are afraid to go to Jefferson Healthcare for care. As of last week, I understand why.
That a nurse can say to a patient thatit doesn't matter if their husband is dying because the best man on the planet (her father) died. Really???? Oh boy, I'm eager to go back there.
That I call hospice/home-health and get an ANSWERING SERVICE....can you post on your site that you do not stagger lunches for employees but that EVERYONE is gone from noon to one and you cannot get care??!
That you call hospice/home-health, having been told by a doctor's nurse that a referral will be sent to hospice but NO referral was put in place...and that I need to drag a dying man IN TO THE HOSPITAL to evaluate him...but wait....hospice/home-health will come out and evaluate him anyway. REALLY??!!!! (never mind his chart should be pretty clear on his health condition).
That the one and only oncologist in the oncology department is...wait for it...at a conference. NO oncology doctors in the oncology dept???!
That a nurse has the audacity to tell a sobbing wife as she is terrified watching her husband fade, โwell,it is your choice if you want to see him in pain. Either let him lay there or call the EMTs and we can provide IV meds...โ
So let me understand...the goal is to know if and when we will die or get frail and schedule it?? That there is no dignity for ailing people? The the spouse/caregiver has to die herself before she can get any assistance? That theโrulesโ/protocol matter more than the compassion for a sick person and their sobbing, frightened wife?? Maybe I need to book mys lot now for 10 years from now??!!!
You should update the hospice website indicating there is zero bereavement support, zero healthcare support until you actually are dead, and NO compassion to ease death.
I started the calling/scheduling last week Wednesday. Today is Monday...still no calls.
Thanks for reading,
RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Awesome letter and good for you for sending it. Ditto hugs
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Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Twofer Tuesday! I was talking to Mom last evening and she said she had caught the bug that's going around and was up all night with the runs and throwing up. With Mom's crazy weird sense of time I can't be sure if that means she was up once or a dozen times, although I'm sure the facility would have called if it was a dozen times, especially since she didn't say anything about it when we talked in the morning. She sounded tired and was going to bed early. Hopefully today will be a better day for her.
Wallycat--Nicely written! Please also go to the Medicare/Medicaid complaint site: Filing a complaint | Medicare and file a complaint using the link in the "nursing home care or facility conditions" AND with your state survey agency using the link in "Improper care or unsafe conditions in a medical facility" Yes, use both, hospice and home health care complaints are handled through these. Another thing you can do is go to the hospital web page, and look for "accreditations" and find out what organization the hospital is using for accreditation surveys (Joint Commission, HCAHPS, AHA, etc) then go to that survey agency's web site and file a complaint there. You can do the same thing for the Hospice/Home Health agency. In addition, I recommend you send a copy of your so well written email to the hospital Patient Satisfaction department, putting "formal Complaint" I the subject line. This will get your email documented and recorded in the hospital's system and be visible to surveyors in the future, very helpful if there is another similar complaint. Even if very little comes from these complaints, they will be on record and will come back to haunt the hospital and the hospice/home health agency in the future.
I can tell you from working in Hospice for decades, that yes, the office can switch the phones to an answering service during lunch or meetings BUT the answering service is still forwarding the information to a designated on call staff or admin member who is responsible for responding to the call. I've been that person a bunch of times, and I was expected to call the caller within 20 minutes of getting the message, unless it was clearly stated the caller did not want an immediate call back. I hope you got the nurse's name and even if you didn't you should call the hospice/home health office and file a complaint. They will be able to figure out who it was. That response is totally unacceptable and unconscionable. I am so very sorry you got put through that. I would love to see this letter in a Letters to the Editor of a local newspaper. Hugs.
Hmmm. No oncologist in the oncology department and no designated covering physician of any kind? I'd report that one to your state's medical board as a complaint against the oncologist. It's his/her responsibility to arrange coverage for patient care when he/she is going to be unavailable.
RANT AND RAVE COCKTAIL
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NM, priceless info. I think they did have a PA in the onco dept. I will re-read your info and see what else I can do. Thank you so very much.
I was a bit apprehensive that I was too offensive in the letter, but it is what I felt. I think my friend mentioned I could have been "calmer." I guess you'd have to be in the throes of itโฆmaybe. So at least I don't feel like a total dick-head.
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Wally, stick it to them! No reason for you and your hubby to be going through this!
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Good Morning, Loungettes! It's going to be a bit of an exciting day today. I woke up the power out to part of the kitchen and living room. Not too big a surprise, it was windy last night and if the power flickered it sometimes flips a couple of circuits. So I feed the puppers and put my coffee on and head downstairs to check the breaker panel, expecting to be back upstairs with everything working by the time my coffee is done. Silly me. I heard a funny noise as I went down the stairs, and found a very large puddle of water about 3 inches deep with more water raining down from the pipes overhead. So I've got the water main off, the power to the furnace off, and a call out to a plumber I've used before. Hopefully someone can get here today, but it may be tomorrow. At least things aren't getting any worse as I wait, the overnight snow has been plowed from the driveway already, and I've got the Wednesday, Women, and Wine get together to look forward to this evening.
Wally--If they had a PA in the onco dept that person should have seen your DH, or in some way responded to your call for help. That's what the department is there for. Your letter is not offensive, it expresses the justifiable frustration you feel about how your DH was treated, or more accurately, not treated. The powers-that-be need to know how his treatment affected you and your DH, your letter does that. The powers-that-be need frequent reminding that patients are people, human beings, deserving of decent treatment, and not just medical record numbers and insurance claim generators. Being "calmer" comes later as the investigation unfolds, if anyone truly investigates the situation. One thing that is very helpful is keeping a notebook with the date, time, and name of every person who calls you or who you call, with notes about what was discussed. You can estimate the times of the calls you made and received at the time, or get the times from your phone call history on your phone. Create a running timeline and attach a copy to everything you send in to anyone by email or snail mail. The timeline I ended up with for Mom's experience with the local cancer center is 5 pages long and has been extremely useful for referencing specific calls and interactions and shows the hospital system's quality control and/or patient satisfaction department that you have legal action worthy information documented and being documented ongoing. That make them sit up and pay attention. Being "calmer" gets you nowhere in these situations, I know from experience. They made you and your DH's lives miserable, and they should be held accountable, not treated gently and allowed to brush things off without consequences, even if the only consequence is that they have to give you a (preferably written) apology. This experience negatively affected your lives, it's not just a small appliance not fixed correctly or minor paperwork mistake at the bank. The thing to do now is keep the issue open. You should hear from someone soon, be prepared to tell them what you want done, who you want a written apology from (and that can be more than one person), and that you expect a response/resolution within 10 days. Repeat this formula with every contact until you get the apologies AND evidence of what is being done to prevent the same thing from happening to someone else.
Sorry if I'm ranting a bit, this situation is making me as angry and upset for you and your DH as I was for me and my Mom. This kind of thing is happening too often. More of us have to stop being "good patients" and start holding hospitals and doctors' offices accountable if anything is going to change.
Ingredients
โข 1 Ounce Fireball Whisky
โข 12 Ounce Hard Apple Cider Angry Orchard
Instructions
โข Combine Fireball Whiskey and Hard Apple Cider in a Pint Glass. Stir together. EnjoyFrom
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I could use a stiff drink today after the crap storm I endured yesterday no thanks to my younger brother.
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Teka, the hospice folks arrived; dh turned them away because he wanted more treatment. Today's appointment indicated no other optionsโฆ..so hospice should come back. I'm sick of crying and feeling stressed.
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Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Thirsty Thursday! The burst pipe fix turned out to not be so bad, the plumber I found last year has a set fee schedule of $396 for the first repair, $180 for each repair after that in the same visit. I've got a couple more repairs that need to be done but need to be done when the water is running, and the sealant for the fix needs to cure for 24 hours, so no water until this afternoon. Which is not a big deal, the power goes out often enough year round that I keep bottled water on hand so I have my coffee this ayem and all is well. The other two jobs can wait. One is a leak from around the dishwasher, that's been isolated off and can wait, and the intermittent leak around the toilet that will need flooring repair first can wait until the bathroom renovation that I will get done this summer, now that Mom is safely cared for and doesn't need me to go to her every other day or so.
The WWW get together was fantastic last night. I invited a nurse I used to work with who came and had a great time. She discovered connections with two or three other ladies in the group. It always fascinates me when a newcomer discovers connections, and it happens every time someone new comes.
Teka--the pain-in-the-butt plumbing problem is taken care of, they were able to get someone to come by yesterday, for which I am grateful. And did have a great time last evening, thank you!
mOmmy--oh my goodness, crap storms are not nice, not fun. Hugs.
Wally--the hospice folks are very used to being turned away because someone wants more treatment. Very few patients and families decide to choose hospice during the first visit, or even the first few visits/contacts. It's a big step to take at an already very emotional and upsetting time, and needs to be handled gently and at the patient/family's pace. This is such a difficult time. It's actually not unusual for someone in this situation to try a round or two of chemo to find out if it will help or not and so they know they have tried everything. Many people equate going on hospice as "giving up" and need that trial to prove they aren't. It might be worth another discussion with a Medical Oncologist, whose specialty is chemo, to verify the Radiation Onc's opinion. Or to ask for a Tumor Board review, where a panel of oncologists, palliative care doctors, and hospice doctors meet and review the entire chart from diagnosis to present day against the research available and make a treatment recommendation. Keep in mind that treatment recommendations are just that, a recommendation. If DH really feels the need to try chemo one more time he should be able to do that, unless it is really clear the drugs would likely seriously damage his physical health and quality of life. All of this is horrible to have to deal with. There are no true right/wrong answers. If you end up going with Hospice, and there are more than one Hospice agency in your area, you can have visits from each one and pick the one that you feel most comfortable with. Around here we call those "Informing Visits" where someone comes and explains the program and how the agency works but is not expecting a decision to admit to hospice at that time. This is a point where you and your DH need to know you can take some time to think things through, to process the difficult news from about the labs, to gather more information if you want or need to. It is gut wrenching, so very, very gut wrenching, made worse by dealing with a care system that has already let you down and proven to be unreliable. I wish there was some way to make this easier for the both of you.
Big Hug Cocktail
โข 1 oz Irish cream
โข 1 oz creme de cacao
โข 1 cup hot chocolate
โข 1/2 oz whipped creamTo craft this exquisite cocktail, begin by carefully combining the following ingredients: 1 oz Irish cream, 1 oz creme de cacao, 1 cup hot chocolate, 1/2 oz whipped cream. Once blended to perfection, pour into the irish coffee cup and enjoy. The process is as enjoyable as savoring the drink itself.
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DH saw the regular onco yesterday. They drew labs. His PSA is going up, even on the fancy pills. His kidney function is declining. This oncologist said at his age and stage of disease (since it progressed to his brain; usually only seen in 1% of prostate cancer patients), he does not believe chemo would help. I think they feel his quality of life would diminish further without much benefit. DH will be 86 in June. I'm inclined to agree with them. His gait has drastically declined after the radiation to the brain. I don't know if that could improve but if the kidneys continue to failโฆI'm not really happy about the options but โฆ..
Drinking a box of La Vieille Ferme rouge (not at one sitting, LOL).
Update: They are coming back tomorrow morning.
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Wallyโhugs
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Wally, sending hugs to you!
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Thanks, ladies. Hospice came out today for all the paper signing. Monday, the assigned nurse will show up. WA is an assisted suicide state, so if it should come to that, DH has options now. And we waitโฆโฆ
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I am new to the community but so glad I stopped around to read the comments. I can hear each of your voices, almost 20 year later, and it's POWERFUL. I pray you all are happy. I have been scared to drink- I love wine and the occasionally beer with my nachos during college football season but I was/am scared to drink after doing all the research. Like someone said, I have no clear why I was chosen for this pathway and drinking wine was not a daily thing, just my special moments and Friday wine down after a cray work work. I am thankful for your words and the message of living life out loud! I am going to have a drink this Valentine 2026 weekend, I am single after my BF left me because "he was scared" so life must go on. I am going to enjoy it more than I have since the surgery in Jan2025 Thank you all for sharing your voices where ever you may be! I toast you!
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I don't drink all the time but when I do have one, I enjoy it! May have one this weekend after the crap I dealt with this week between my younger brother and then the vet visit for one of my cats where my vet wants me to fork out between $1k to $1500 just to have her teeth cleaned
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I've always enjoyed my wine. Now is no different. My husband dying, perhaps I am enjoying it more than I should. Life is short. I'm 68 and have stuff going onโฆ.just sayin'
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Wallycat sending much love โค๏ธ
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Husband gave me Pure Maple Cream for my toast.
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Wally, gentle hugs and gentle thoughts for you and your hubby.
Got hubby his Valentine's gifts yesterday. Got him a couple of tools he needed for his job.
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Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Saturday! I went to visit with Mom yesterday. It was like being with 2 different people. When it was just the two of us she was going on about things disappearing from her bathroom, things getting moved in the living area, how miserable her phone is that won't work, how hard it is to not be able to get in the car and go shopping, on and on. The minute someone else was around and when we went out to the dining room for lunch she was all smiles, joking with the staff, introducing me to her table mates (for the umpteenth time) and looking very happy. I keep reminding myself that her situation is a difficult one with lots of adjustments needed, that aging is not always fun, and that I am a safe person for her to complain to and express her frustrations to and that doesn't mean she is totally miserable and unhappy. But sometimes it's kind of hard listening to those things and not being able to fix them. Although I do think I found a fix for the things in the bathroom going missing and other people's things getting put on the counter. She mentioned that when she sees something that isn't her brand, she throws it away hoping to discourage whoever it is to stop messing with her stuff, instead of buying her more full sized toothpaste tubes, I ordered her a bunch of travel sized tubes, a box of individually wrapped disposable razors, and a box of travel sized deoderents. I told her we'll keep the boxes in her dresser and just put one item in the bathroom so if/when it gets taken she has more. I know some of the things she said were not hers were actually hers, because I bought them and brought them in. If I didn't know better I would swear that Mom has fronto-temporal dementia.
Wally--having options is a good thing, even if all the options are difficult ones. Hugs.
Msaly007--I'll join you in the toast! And welcome to the lounge. Everything about a bc diagnosis and treatment is complex and there are rarely any clear cut answers to the big questions. I'm sorry about your BF leaving, and curious about what he was scared of?
mOmmy--$1k to $1.5k for cleaning teeth????? How the heck did the Vet justify that cost?
Teka--oooohh, maple cream is so yummy!
Love Potion #9
Ingredients
โข Peach schnapps: 1 oz(30ml)
โข Cranberry juice: 2 oz(60ml)
โข Lime juice: 0.5 oz(15ml)Recipe
- Fill a shaker with ice cubes.
- Add 1 oz of peach schnapps.
- Add 2 oz of cranberry juice.
- Add 0.5 oz of lime juice.
- Shake well until the outside of the shaker becomes frosty.
- Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
- Garnish with a lime wheel.
From
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Native, who knows! They want to sedate her, take xrays and do a cleaning which turn out to be an all day thing! My hubby and I were not happy, so we are trying a work around with a liquid that can be added to the water dish.
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Jar is almost empty. ๐
Tomorrow starts my early spring housecleaning!
๐
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Our vets push are always pushing for upsales in care. One of our cats had a UTI, and when they screened her urine for the bacteria, they also found proteins. She's a big cat, so they wanted to start diabetes treatments - a daily insulin shot and regular blood screenings. Besides the cumulative costs getting into the ridiculous range, she's very much a tortoiseshell in her attitude. She likes the rest of the family, but I'm the only person who would be able to give her those shots and not lose blood. And I did NOT want to teach her that the one person she truly trusts will hurt her every day for the rest of her life. Sometimes quality of life is more important than quantity, especially for pets.
The first vet who discussed treatments with me was shocked that I didn't jump at doing everything under the sun for my furry family, but I agreed to think about it before our follow up after the antibiotics for the UTI. The next vet was much more understanding. She was open to my suggestion of a no-carbs diet, taking her off dry food and only feeding her grain-free wet food. (And she was very happy to get wet food at each feeding time!) She said sometimes cats can go into remission from diabetes with diet changes, and she described the warning signs of advanced stages where quality of life would be severely diminished. Since we've changed her diet, she's been doing great. She had started to drop too much weight when her condition was developing, but is now back to a reasonable weight - not as heavy as she had been, but not looking like she was wasting either. She's an older cat, so it's natural that she's not as active. But she can still jump up on the bed, and she still purrs and seems contented.
It's hard to advocate against veterinary care, but it's gotten way more expensive than it should be. Private equity and national chains have bought out so many small, private practices and driven prices through the roof. Pet health insurance has only made things worse by inflating and then hiding the actual prices for procedures. Corporate greed makes everything so awful.
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Mirianda, I think your reasoning about medical care for your cat was very sound. Why make an animal miserable in prolonging life? I guess the vets are just doing their job, giving options.
DH and I find life easier without a pet. We had two cats, brothers, that grew old and both died within a couple of months. Pat and Mike. They were huge cats. If we were to get another pet, it would probably be a dog, for dh to take on walks. When he sees an elderly man out walking a dog, he comments that walking a dog is a good thing to get an older person out of the house. At the present time, dh spends little of his day in the house. He's either in his woodworking shop or running the road for appointments.
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Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Monday Monkey Day! Well, this weekend was a bit of a loss for me. I was tired all day Saturday and just didn't have any ambition to do anything at all. Middle of the night Saturday night I wake up with a lovely case of what I known in the medical world as gastrointestinal distress, or what my kid brother refers to as 'hersey squirts and upchucks' along with chills, body aches, headache, total exhaustion. And what was I doing 2 days before? Visiting and eating lunch with Mom, who had just gotten over norovirus. Fortunately, the vomiting and diarrhea only lasted until mid day, and I was able to sleep most of the rest of yesterday and last night, and actually feel pretty good this ayem. I did have some very strange dreams, though!
mOmmy--that seems like a lot for a kitty to go through just to get clean teeth. How do cats that live wild keep their teeth clean? I hope the liquid in the water bowl option works for you.
Teka--you really do start spring housecleaning early! Good for you!
Miriandra--I agree wholeheartedly that quality of life is important for the furbabies, maybe even more so than for us human beings who have the ability to comprehend the why of getting a daily shot. Your approach seems pretty logical to me and appears to be working. Praying it keeps working for her!
Carole--I can see where life could be easier without pets for some people.
Walk The Dog Ingredients
5.5 oz Club Soda
3 cube Ice
2.5 oz Rye/WhiskeyWalk The Dog Equipment
metal straw or teaspoon to stir properly, if you want to be a pro: use bar spoonWalk The Dog Recipe
stir the ingredients together with ice
pour into glass
Source: https://homedrinkmenu.com/drink-recipe/walk-the-dog2 -
I wish I would have asked the vet about how cats in the wild keep their teeth clean. They dont go to vets for it! I agree, just like human health, vet costs have gotten expensive. Hoping my furbaby will let me check her teeth today.
Well, some here where I live that winter was done with us, a big fat Ha Ha to that! We are getting a storm right now with blizzard-like conditions. Started as rain, then freezing rain to snow. Winds have been pretty gusty. Hubby was telling me that someone where he works said there was a report of a 60 moh wind gust on the bridge my hubby takes to work (yikes!). We had a couple rounds of thundersnow. Thankfully hubby made it home from work without a problem and schools in the area are shut down for the day. They say once the main storm leaves, we will see snow showers and flurries right into the start of the weekend.
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