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I want to scream

mldemps Member Posts: 1

I find life a mystery....My best friend died at 4am this morning leaving behind 4 beautiful girls aged from 22 to 11. I was unsure what to do with my grief so here i am & I apologise for possibly rambling LOL..... I just want to know why? why her?

She died from secondary breast cancer....After fighting & surviving breast cancer 6 years ago she finally had her reconstructive surgery last year & life was starting to look pretty good - a strong,beautiful,wise single woman ready to look for a relationship & possibly LOVE again .After sorting out her mental,physical & spiritual needs of both herself & her family since her divorce & then subsequent cancer diagnosis all those years ago she decided to become a foster carer - bringing "broken" children into her home to help them find comfort,peace,safety & love ( she cared for over 30 children since I have known her).....

Maggie fought to the end for her family- the secondary cancer had spread to her bones and was initially given 5-10 years to live. That was 8 weeks ago - the cancer spread like wildfire after radiation treatment & invaded her spine,hips,lungs and eventually vital organs.She died peacefully with her family & close friends by her side & also with her dog Coco ( who was smuggled into the hospital). her last words to me were I wish I could see the girls grow & live.... I will make sure I do that for her- I will watch over them for her in this life ( I am so sure she will be watching over them from where she is).

I myself lost my own mother to hodgkins lymphoma when she was 39 years old & was 11 years old so the pain I have in my heart is for my dear friend maggie's youngest daughter who is the same age today as I when my mother died.

I haven't stopped crying, not sure if I ever will...My heart hurts.It hurts for maggie missing out on all the good things she surrounded herself with ( her kids,foster kids,friends,work collegues etc etc etc) & on the other side all of those who knew & loved her missing out on her. I know she is with us all in spirit & watching us but I can't help but feel lonely - those who knew her know the world is missing one special lady. I know I feel lost without her already.I miss her..........Please say a prayer for her & particularly for her family- I thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

I want to make a plea to every woman to push for more funding,government support & research into breast cancer whenever you can......Thanks for this forum- it has definitely helped.Thanks again


  • ADK
    ADK Member Posts: 752
    edited September 2008

    I am so sorry for your loss.  She sounds like a wonderful woman.

  • Barb1953
    Barb1953 Member Posts: 258
    edited September 2008

    Another angel has her wings---I'm so sorry for your loss. Will keep you and her family in my prayers.

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 107
    edited September 2008

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.  My prayers go out to you and her family.  You sound like a great friend.

    Hugs, Jackie

  • easyquilts
    easyquilts Member Posts: 10
    edited September 2008

    There really are no words, are there?  But...I want you to know that I..and all the ladies here...are saddened by your terrible loss.  Your friend, Maggie, was blessed to have you as her friend. 

    Having lost  your own mother at such an early age, I know you will be a real  help to those four girls.....And...Maggie will surely be watching!

    God Bless,


  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 4,424
    edited September 2008

    May I add my prayers to those above for the children left behind -- full of questions over this loss and heartsick to be without their dear mother.

    I think that your concluding thoughts sum up what good can actually come from such an unthinkable loss. If we all speak out, act out, advocate over this disease in the names of our dear loved ones -- then perhaps progress can be "forced" faster than it is evolving. If we walk in her honor and educate others we will have grown.

    Her daughters are fortunate to have you as their 'foster mother.'

    my deepest condolences as you continue to wrestle with and resolve the hole in the fabric of your days...... thank you for sharing your heartfelt story. thank you for supporting your friend and thank you for holding her children together.


    there's a commemorative 'list' for angels of BC, contact Celia and she'll add your dear friend.

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 77
    edited September 2008

    Hey mldemps, 

    I believe your friend was truly blessed to have you..I'm sure we all long for someone who cares as deeply about us as you did about her. So, much love and care to you for being there for her.

    This disease makes all of us face up to our own losses and, more importantly, our own mortality. In my simple world a person's true worth is not measured by their death, but by their life. Your Mum? Well..she made you. That's pretty big.

    Look at your friend's life: she achieved so much. Think about how much richer the world is for her having been in it.  Every time I hear something like this I am inspired to not waste one more minute 'chasing my tail'. I thank your friend for giving me another gentle poke awake, and I thank you for telling us about her.  XX 

  • newter
    newter Member Posts: 2,670
    edited September 2008

    I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. Cancer is just so unfair.

  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 975
    edited September 2008

    mldemps, i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend to this wretched disease.  You are truly a wonderful friend to keep watch over her children.

    i have added your friend Maggie's name to the List of Angels in the Friends of BCO Members part of the list. 

    hugs, celia 

  • kclemons
    kclemons Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2008

    I offer my deepest sympathy to you and the family.  Your story made me cry and I have to applaud you for being such a good friend. Please know that your support to her and her children can not be measured.  There are no words that could be said to any of you to ease your pain.  I understand your burden and your need to scream, I too have suffered loss to cancer.  Children losing a parent at any age is hard and it's a pain that will go with them always.  She sounded like a wonderful woman and a great mother.  I do send prayers to you and the family and ask that each and everyone of you are embraced with God's grace.

    Grace and Peace,


  • irishdreama
    irishdreama Member Posts: 538
    edited September 2008

    I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Please know that you, her family, and her are all in my thoughts and prayers.  Jeri

  • sbmolee
    sbmolee Member Posts: 26
    edited October 2008

    I am so sorry for your loss.