Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?
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FLislander, How are you feeling? Did you start Tamox. or an AI, yet?0
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Beth, I've been on an anti depressant for about 3 months now. I don't think I would be functioning without it. I've never had depression before and it's all new to me. I'm sticking with it for a while, at least until I see how femara is going to be. I'm so sorry about your daughter's miscarriage, that's a very painful experience. I've been through it with my daughter and it's very difficult. I can relate to the feeling of "what do I do now". I've had 2 weeks of no doctor's or treatments. I had herceptin today, and I felt relief at having something active to do to keep from having a recurrence. I guess it takes time to get used to it.
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Tipnas, me too, on the fatigue. I'm just rolling with it like Sandy and Bonseye. I've always been a morning person, waking up early ready to go, but the last few weeks I've been sleeping til 10:00 and then taking a nap in the afternoon.0
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Oh Beth ~ Our hearts just go out to you! A miscarriage is so very difficult, but then to also have a second daughter having twins must just confuse and complicate how everyone feels...joy, despair, hope, saddness. Ugh, sometimes the difficulty of life is just so overwhelming. You and your girls are in my prayers. I have not started on an anti-depressant through this cancer treatment journey, however I did one other time in my life. I had finally come to a "safe" place in my life (married to my DH and happy) when depression just rolled in and took over. I did go on medication for a short time and I began to see a counselor. He told me that when we finally emerge from a hard time where we have just lived in "survival mode" for a prolonged period (such as cancer or, in my case a bad 1st marriage), our brains begin to deal with all the emotions from that time period. It's like, you just muscle through it when you have to, but when it is over, you have to deal with the fears and anxieties of it. I found that medication helped, but anti-depressants are only designed to work short term. I would strongly encourage you to couple that with a good therapist or counselor to move through the depression to the other side. I know you will come through this my friend.
Tipnas ~ Absolutely, let's get together! I am in Temecula and Linda is in Escondido, but I'm sure we could find somewhere in between to meet for lunch or drinks! Also, I'm up for a girl's weekend sometime where many of us could meet up and decompress together after all this craziness ends. It seems like many of us are more Midwest or Southwest. Wouldn't that be fun?
SAN
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Grandma
They are waiting til after rads for those, kinda forgot, just had surgery umx and healing for a month then rads, telling everyone that's my last step but really have 5 years tacked on to the end, I've been reading how you all are handling them and need to write down everything, my memory is like it starts fresh everyday, can be good and bad I guess! Glad you guys are doing good all things considered!0 -
FLislander, You've made a lot of progress on this bumpy ride. Chemo - done! umx - done! You're getting there. You've got the really hard parts behind you. I hope you can find some enjoyment in your healing month before starting rads. I thought that was pretty cute of your kids a few pages back when one of them said "at least he didn't loose his memory like you". Kids tell it like it is. I think the switching out words is contagious that Sandy and some others were talking about, I've been doing that since I read they do it.0
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Tipnas & SAN ~ We definitely need to get together. It would be great to meet you Tipnas! If there is anyone else who lives nearby, please chime in so we can include you as well. I sure wish we could all meet. It was amazing to have SAN to discuss what we have been going through. You have to live it to actually understand what it's like to deal with BC treatments, side effects and especially the emotional issues we have all faced.
FIslander ~ Count me in as another one with memory lapses. The replacing of words with ones you weren't intending to say is so embarrassing. I am amazed how the brain does what it does. I have finally starting just saying "chemo brain" to people who know what I am dealing with. However, with strangers it's really annoying when I say another word. Hoping this goes away in time. GrandmaV ~ Sorry you are having the same challenge with words...annoying, isn't it?
Beth ~ I truly agree with what SAN posted to you. I can honestly say that meds (when needed) as well as counseling are the best thing you can do for yourself if you are open to both. I feel that counseling saved me emotionally at a time when things were pretty negative. The trick is to find a counselor you can relate to...that's the key in MHO. So sorry to hear of your daughter's miscarriage. Such a sad thing to have happen. You and your family are in my prayers.
Just wanted to add that I have a flare up of my autoimmune disease and had to go back on prednisone for a few months. I am very disappointed as this drug causes side effects of its own which include weight gain. I was so happy to have lost 34 pounds during chemo which was the weight I gained when I was on the prednisone before BC. I am scared because the rheumatologist told me it's either a relapse of the autoimmune or another malignancy. I have to say that those words scared me silly. Never thought I would actually hope for an autoimmune disease. Praying it all resolves soon.
Hoping all of you are looking forward to a weekend with something fun included for each of you. Take care...think of you all fondly each day. Linda
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Hey ladies. After several setbacks, I had my last chemotherapy treatment today (taxol) and I'm so relieved. I start tamoxifen in a month. Not looking forward to it. I will have tissue expanders placed June 13. Excited about that. It just never really ends but anything has to be better than a/c!
Jeanne0 -
Bayareamom, Congratulations!
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Sandyland, Bonseye, Tipnas & really everyone-this is about your fatigue and the well-meaning folks who tell you that they know you will feel better if you get up and exercise more. Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not many people know about my BC, so not too many people talk to me about it other than my family. And even with that, my mother & brothers, my father-in-law, really everyone except my husband, daughters, and sisters know nothing of my illness. So I have had to strategically maneuver visits with them and try to hide any hint of fatigue, etc. Since I don't live in the same state with many of them, it has not been as bad as it could have been, but I had to come up with excuses for why I couldn't visit. Two things I remember that really irritated me was my very supportive, usually understanding husband who kept insisting that he had heard my onco telling me that I needed to get up and exercise every day, even when I didn't feel like it, and the time he went to see his dad and wound up bringing him back to my house on about the worst day of one of my chemo cycles. He called me to warm me they were coming just minutes before they arrived, and I was so exhausted that I couldn't even figure out how to put on my wig. When he would tell me how much better I would feel if I went walking through the neighborhood with him, I remember thinking that I ought to go with him. It would serve him right when I passed out just steps away from our house and he would have to carry me back home. I am now over 2 months passed my last chemo treatment, and I had regained much of my energy until the last 2 weeks. I still feel just as strong during the daytime, but it is harder getting up in the morning, and I am falling asleep on the couch between 8 and 9 at night. I guess this relapse is because of the radiation. We have a right to be tired and to rest up however much we think we need, and shame on anyone else for trying to tell us otherwise.
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bayareamom--Congrats on finishing chemo!!! I can't start tamoxifen until after my expander exchange in May. I am worried about taking it. I am not worried about a recurrence since I experienced that last year.
One of my daughters insists on walking with me when she is here, I am tired but I do feel better. I just tell anyone who wants to walk with me that if I get tired, they are going to get the car or golf cart and come pick me up!!!
I don't sleep well because of the pain of the expanders. I think the fatigue has be replaced with the "what do I do now" syndrome!
Thanks to all my friends and let me know where the meeting place will be. I still need the ocean to get me through!
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bethu77-
You are not alone. I finished chemo much quicker than most on this thread. I am now on Tamoxifen which I think is harder than the chemo. My emotions are all over the place. The depression is so deep. I have a history with depression but never felt like this before. I would like to take something but I have gained so much weight already and know that I will gain more on an antidepressant.
If you have never been treated for depression, there are a number of meds that help. You might want to take something. I am sure I will break down soon and take something as well.
I absolutely hate Tamoxifen. Wish things were different. With that said, I am grateful for all the treatment I have received and all the great people I have met along this journey....
Susan
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bethu77. Hmmm. I wish I could wait until my surgery was done t take tamoxifen. Did they say why?
Susan- I'm so sorry tamoxifen is so hard for you. I pray it is not hard for me. I suffered som much with Chemo! I am on Prosac already for my cancer depression but read that some can't take it with tamoxifen so I wonder if she will switch me. Five years of feeling bad is a long time.
Jeanne0 -
My breast surgeon said I would have to stop it a week before surgery. Perhaps the possibility of blood clots? It made since when she told me but I have forgotten. I was so happy to not take it! I didn't take it after the first diagnosis in 2008. I think I will talk with my oncologist next month about taking something else. That drug scares me more than chemo...
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P.S.--How can I put a quote or something in my signature line. Chemo brain alert-----I forgot what I wanted to put there but I know it was important!
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bethu77:
Don't go by me with tamoxifen. Most people I have spoken to don't have the emotional roller coaster. My MO said it is a must for er/pr positive cancers. I don't want to discourage anyone from taking something that could save their life. My MO also said that after 6 months most symptoms go away....
Susan
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Ladies, thank you for the encouragement regarding fatigue. I'm trying not to worry about all the things that are piling up due to my lack of energy. My MO is sending me to see a rheumatologist to rule out RA, lupus etc., as I'm hobbling around at this stage and my joints really hurt. I experienced it a little last year but nothing like this. It went away during chemo. My onc said the steroids during chemo may have suppressed things and now that I'm finished something could be flaring up again. Linda, could this be the reason for your flare? Sorry to hear you had to go back on steroids and I hope things settle down soon.0
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San and Linda, I would love to get together. I also agree that nobody nobody gets it like someone who is going through or has been through the same thing. Hope you're enjoying our "cool" weather!
Jeanne, congrats on finishing chemo. I hope you start healing quickly. I too am starting Tamoxifen in about two weeks. I'm already having a lot of meno symptoms, so my MO says he'll see how I do. Ideally, he'd like me to take it for a year and then move on to an AI. A lot of antidepressants interfere with Tamoxifen metabolism, so it would be a good question for you onc. I think I read on a thread here that it's not a good idea to take Benadryl while on Tamox. My MO is admits he is pretty agressive and told me if I was taking a long flight, he recommends I have heparin injections to reduce the risk of blood clots. Has anyone else heard of this?
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Hi Susan, I'm sorry to hear you're still having a hard time on the Tamoxifen. It doesn't sound like fun and my heart goes out to you. I had a bout with anxiety 4 or 5 years ago when I was having issues with an overactive parathyroid. I tried to get through it by myself but ended up having to take something for a few months, which really helped. If you're having a really tough time, maybe taking something would help to get you out of the depression and off the emotional roller coaster. You mentioned your fear of gaining weight, but if you felt better, you might be motivated to take steps to counter the weight gain. I remember you talked about your success with weight watchers in the past and that motivated me. I have 20 + chemo lbs to loose and WW is on my to do list. Perhaps we could cheer each other on! Anyway, hang in there and remember you're not alone. We'll be joining you on the hormone supressant journey soon! xoxo
Beth, you mentioned considering taking something else besides Tamoxifen. Are you in menopause yet? I think I'm there as it's been almost a year since my last period but my MO says he wants to be sure my ovaries are no longer producing estrogen, hence the Tamoxifen.
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OMG. I had the absolute most hysterical case of chemo brain...
last week I charged a conference fee to my CC for work. it was a huge charge,but I'll get reimbursed for it. I forgot I did it--and thought it was a fraudulent charge!
I called my bank, reported it, etc.etc. and when the nice young gentleman read the charge OUT LOUD to me, I realized it was for the conference and very embarrassed, told him I just remembered what the charge was for (the truth).
I told him I hoped he would have a very nice day and thanks fo being so so understanding.
Ask me if my face is red. Geez!!!!
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We had a scary night. Tornado came through the Wichita area about a mile from us. We were sure it was coming straight at us, but it made a right turn as it approached so that it hit the air force base a mile to the south and east of us. We huddled in the basement until the all clear. None of my family had damage, but we all lost our electric for a few hours, which we always do when a violent thunder storm comes through. It got a little closer to my daughter's house, less than a 1/2 mile, they were huddled in their basement too and could hear the rumble. Thankfully we're all ok. Just scared out of my wits.
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GrandmaV that sounds really frightening! I'm glad you and your family are all safe and no damage was done.
Claire, your post made me laugh! Sounds just like something I would do!!! Yesterday I was looking for the car keys which were in my hand, admitedly I had my hands full
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Grandma V-so glad you and your family are ok. How frightening that must be! I hear about all these tornados and wonder how you deal with the thought of one forming when there are alerts. I would be a total wreck. So very happy to hear you are safe!0
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Grandma, so glad you and your family are ok. I was watching the news today thinking if anyone on the forum was in that area.
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Yikes GrandmaV ~ So glad you and yours are fine!!
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GrandmaV ~ So sorry that so many are suffering through this tornado season. It is awful. However, I am so glad to hear that you and your family are fine. I grew up in Chicago so I know it's very scary. In fact I was talking to a girlfriend back there tonight and her phone service went out twice during our conversation. She said the wind was terrible. Hope all in that area are safe tonight.
SAN & Tipnas ~ We will have to plan that lunch soon. I am looking forward to seeing you both! I will be (hopefully) going for my tats and simulation on Tuesday. Have to contact the onc and RO to see if the immune system issue will keep me from having the rads. Hope not. Whatever happens, we still need to plan to get together!
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GrandmaV, so thankful you and yours are safe. What a season and some serious tragedies for many...so glad you aren't one of them.
Claire, I laughed outloud and have had so many moments like this! So glad we are not alone!
linnyhopp, my sim and tats are this coming Friday. Let us know how Tuesday goes!
Beth, so sorry for all you and yours are going through. We don't need anything added, and yet that is often what happens. You are being prayed for...
Andi
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Sandyland, my MO told me that the neuropathy can linger for weeks and it is permanent for some. But that it is usually not limiting. It does recede. Right now, I feel like it has gotten worse and I think it's because I'm busier. I overdid some days this week and my left toes looked like sausages by Saturday! I rested most of today and they are better tonight. And I still get the 'zings' down my arms and legs. Fingers are tender at times, and I drop things easily. Some days it seems better...then others worse. It hurts to walk sometimes which is discouraging. Keep me posted on how you are feeling...you are several weeks ahead of me. My nails are fine, but they hurt. No lifting or anything.
Hope you all sleep well. I took a LONG nap today, so I'm still up at 11:30 my time. Think I'll be reading a while!
Andi
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Thanks everyone. I feel very fortunate, so many lost everything. It would have been a lot worse, though, if we hadn't had advance warning like we did.
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Tipnas--I had a hysterectomy with my ovaries removed in 2010. I don't know what I am going through. I just don't like the "possible" side effects of this drug.
GrandmaV--I am terrified of a tornado and I am soooo glad you and your family are safe!
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