Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Good morning. My surgery is tomorrow. I'm so afraid I can hardly breathe. I've been walking and eating healthy and drinking a ton of water to try to lower my stress, but everything about this scares me, the surgery, the healing, the treatment, the healing. Will I ever just feel like a normal person again? Will I ever wake up and think about my day and what I want to accomplish rather than having a weight of fear pressing in on me?
I'm sorry. I know I'm negative and my family needs me to act like I'm fine and I can't and I'm afraid and I wish this wasn't happening to me. Maybe everything will go fine tomorrow, then I can act temporarily happy Friday...
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Brightness, what you are feeling is completely normal. We're all scared going into our surgeries. For most of us, the surgery is fairly easy with some discomfort and a lot of annoyance from the SNB site. I totally understand about having to be positive for the family. My DH was very ill from Parkinson's and congestive heart failure (plus kidney cancer). He was always pessimistic so I couldn't allow any fear to show to him - he couldn't handle it. But somehow we muddle through and a lot of it has to do with the great support from this site. Here we understand and have big shoulders to cry on and lots of support to prop you up. Let us know how you do! We'll be in your pocket tomorrow.
HUGS!
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Brightness - I felt the same way you did. My anxiety was far worse than the surgery and recovery. Sometimes you just have to cry and scream and let it out. Having cancer was the last thing I thought I would have but I do and now I need to do everything I can to be well again (body and mind). Prayers and well wishes for tomorrow.
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Hi all! I'm scheduled for lumpectomy with SNB on Tuesday. I had a lumpectomy last fall for atypical ductal hyperplasia and am wondering how much worse this surgery will be. More invasive, more painful, longer recovery? I had surgery on a Thursday last time and was back at work on Monday - sore but basically fine. How many extra days do I need to allow? Anything I can do beforehand to bounce back quicker?
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Thank you for the understanding and support. It's sad that we're all here, but I'm thankful to have people who understand
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Brightness and FleurDeLis - my lumpectomy was on March 31. I did not find the recovery to be terribly difficult. My surgeon prescribed Norco for the pain; I took a couple (with a stool softener) but didn't need it for more than a day. I wanted to get on top of the pain - that's the only reason I took it at all. Tylenol or Advil does the trick. My best tip is to have a small pillow to place under your affected arm. The SNB incision site was far more problematic than my tumor incision. The pillow prevents skin-to-skin contact and just makes everything feel better.
I've said this before but my biggest concern was the anesthesia as I've had a terrible time with it in the past (vomiting when I wake up). I had a long chat with a nurse on the phone the night before and with the anesthesiologist just before my surgery. They listened! The drugs today are so much better (it had been a while since I'd had general anesthesia). When I woke up, my stomach was completely calm. Make your concerns known!
I had terrible cotton mouth post-surgery and my throat hurt (I guess I had a tube down my throat?). I couldn't eat anything. My DH went out and got me Popsicles and sherbet - they tasted wonderful! I ate a lot of soup the first couple of days. So I'd advise bringing these supplies in.
I work from home; my surgery was on a Friday. I was back at the computer the next Monday but for a limited amount of time. A couple of the very wise women on this thread (thank you, PontiacPeggy!) reminded me that this is major surgery. Respect that. I didn't realize I had subcutaneous stitches until I read the operation report (I had surgical glue on the outside). Just like with my hysterectomy, I had to be careful of those stitches. They will tell you not to lift anything over 10 pounds. Abide by that. While you want your range of motion to return quickly, don't stretch the affected arm too soon.
Bottom line: Follow the instructions the nurse gives you when you leave the hospital. Find a good book you want to read. Catch up on Netflix. Take this opportunity to rest!
Best of luck to both of you.
MJ
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Thanks so much for the info! And the reminder about the tube throat! I had forgotten (blocked?) that from my procedure last year. I remember being sore all over because I think I was fighting the anesthesia (first timer) and was so tense going under. Hopefully I can manage a little more zen approach this time.
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That all-over soreness is not from fighting the anesthesia, and it’s not because you were a first-timer. When getting general anesthesia, as soon as you go under but before they cut, you will be given an I.V. push of succinylcholine—a powerful muscle relaxant that keeps you perfectly still on the table. But before it takes effect, your muscles contract suddenly and violently for a split second before relaxing. They call it “scoline syndrome.” (“Scoline" is easier to say than “succinylcholine"). It’s a form of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) like after a first intense or abruptly-ramped up workout, and it takes a day & a half or two to kick in. It fades by the morning of day 4.
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The anesthetic NP called this evening and I told her how afraid I am of dying because of anesthesia. She went over my blood test and cardiac tests and said I'm normal with no problems in any of those tests. She also said not only the anesthesiologist , but also her medical student will be there and watching for any changes or issues. She told me to tell the anesthesiologist as soon as I see her about my fears so she can address them with me. That helped. They will also give me an anti anxiety med as soon as possible.
I should be sleeping now, but I'm so afraid that I can't sleep. I just want to put this part safely behind me and get my pathology reports so I know my treatment plan.
I've been pleasantly surprised by the friends that remembered me telling themwhen this is happening and texted to send their positive thoughts. Still, I'm afraid.
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I woke the morning of my surgery suddenly calmer than any time in the previous three weeks: I realized “they’re gonna get this thing out of me!” It was far less eventful than I ever imagined. Was home by 4:30 that afternoon.
You got this. You’re taking the first steps to prolong the rest of your life. You are embarking on the journey back to normal.
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It's nearly 4:30am here. I'll be leaving for surgery in a few hours. I can't sleep and didn't sleep much last night. I'm so afraid of dying during surgery. I'm not even thinking about all that will come after surgery. For now, this fear is all I can handle. Please send prayers and/or positive thoughts my way.
Assuming all goes well, which I need to believe will, I'll update tomorrow if I'm feeling up to it.
Thank you for your kindness. It's funny that some strangers on the internet have been so comforting, but you have and I truly appreciate it.
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Brightness, sending you love, light, and calm energy! Thankfully (but sadly) this is a procedure that is performed successfully all the time so your care team will have lots of experience to draw on. I totally understand being scared - I certainly was my first time! I'm still a little nervous this time, but then I remember that everyone in that room is there to take the best care of me & that they got into that line of work to help people!
ChiSandy, thanks for the information about the anesthesia! That's pretty interesting! I had no idea that happened.
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Suzyfl - Hope you get good news today! Please let us know!
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Just got home from the surgeon - seeing him after the US he ordered to check out something he felt in the right axillary area. US report says it's a cyst, most likely a post-operative seroma. Surgeon suggests my going back and having the radiologist do a US-guided needle aspiration of the seroma. When he jabbed at it, it sure hurt. "Does it bother you?" he asked. "Only when someone pokes repeatedly at it," I responded. That drew a big smile from him!
He also outlined what I would have to do to have the excess developed breast tissue removed from the same area. Essentially it would be a mastectomy. He said he would stay high, avoiding the lymph nodes as much as possible. But my risk of lymphedema would still be increased. And I'd have to have a drain. And the whole area would be numb - worse than from the SNB, he said. And so I have no plans to do this now. It's bothersome and unsightly but I just don't wear sleeveless tops. I don't see any reason to have a surgery that's not mandated by disease!
MJ
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MJ, I’m with you. I have an onco-PS referral for a bilateral reduction, but my BS’ NP stresses that it’s purely elective. There is no medical necessity for it unless it really, really makes my back & shoulders hurt constantly. I also am getting triggering in my R index finger (last year it was the thumb, for which I got a cortisone shot after my LE doc said the shot & tendon release surgery would be safe). But a couple of days before tendon-release surgery last summer, my thumb stopped triggering. I actually was in pre-op and refused to let them start an IV until I saw my surgeon. He had me flex my thumb and said I shouldn’t get the surgery because it’s a “lifestyle procedure” (he was also relieved because he was running very late)—which I could always get if I really needed it.
I also have a huge bunion, and some pretty hideous-looking varicose & spider veins. My jowls are getting droopier, and I am getting “marionette lines,” and I also have eye bags & deep forehead wrinkles (since age 37, hence my affinity for fashionable glasses and bangs). I am a definite candidate for Botox, fillers and a facelift, but no way, Jose!
Brightness, you’re probably in the recovery room by now, if not already home. Check back in here when you feel like it.
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Sandy, will Medicare cover getting rid of our awful spider veins? I should go to my local imaging center (where I get my mammos) that does vein work and see. Since you seem to know all (
), am I going to be totally miserable having the spider veins fixed?Brightness, hope you are home and comfortable!
Bad smoke here from all the fires in British Columbia, Washington, Idaho and Montana. Air Quality is Unhealthy. It stinks. Maybe Sunday it will be better.
HUGS!
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Hi everyone. I made it! I just got home after a 15 hour day. I was able to sleep a bit on the way home and I'm feeling pretty good right now, but I'm in bed and plan to stay here as long as needed.
Good news, there was nothing in my nodes! Also, the tumor was pretty much the size they expected, which is relatively small (I think a bit less than 1cm, but I'll need to confirm that later). The pathology should take about 10 days, then we'll form the treatment plan since the new doctors questioned the results of the original pathology report, including the ER/PR, her2 and KI67 numbers. Apparently different facilities read the results in different ways and I have a lot of confidence in my new team.
I can't tell you how much your kindness and support means. Thank you.
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Brightness, so glad you're home and doing well. Be sure to take appropriate pain pills as needed - don't let it get an upper hand. The wait for all those reports is difficult but worth it. Take it easy and use lots of ice!
HUGS!
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Brightness, so glad to hear all went well for you! Sending you healing energy!
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Dunno about the spider veins, as they are not a health hazard—but bulging varicose veins can sclerose, ulcerate and maybe even cause blood clots, so treatment for vvs is covered. Interestingly, in most wealthier South American nations, their NHSes cover cosmetic surgery!
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Sounds like lots of good news, Brightness. Two thumbs up!
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Thanks, Sandy. Guess I'll just have to see if my veins qualify. It's the only cosmetic surgery I'd consider (the budget just laughs)
HUGS!
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Good morning everyone. I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know I'm feeling good this morning. I haven't taken any of the pain or nausea medicine at all. My underarm area definitely needs to be babied, but that's quite doable. I hurried to the door this morning to let the dog back in though and even just a quick walk made me aware of my chest, so only slow gentle walking for me today (no bouncing). I'll be drinking a lot of water and eating fruits and veges today to help my system get back to normal and resting because I only slept a few hours at a time last night, but I'm going to try to let myself feel normal emotionally while I wait for the pathology results.
Good luck to anyone having surgery today. Oh,and prepare to be shocked at the very very bright blue urine that comes out of your body because of the dye to check the nodes!
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That blue is shocking, isn't it, brightness! I forgot to warn you about that. Glad you're feeling so well but listen to PontiacPeggy and KB - respect the face you've had surgery and take it easy. Take this opportunity to baby yourself a bit!
Thinking good thoughts for clear margins and negative nodes!
MJ
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Brightness, glad the surgery was a piece of cake (to which you are entitled to treat yourself…for now). Yay for the negative nodes and small size too. Here’s hoping for confirmation of negative nodes clean margins, and Luminal A (ER & PR positive and HER2 negative). And a low OncotypeDX should your MO order one. Good chance you’ll skip chemo. (Ki67 is often ignored in the case of Luminal A, especially with grade 1 or 2—my path report didn’t even mention it).
I didn’t get Smurf pee—they only used the radioactive tracer for my SNB. And I didn’t even get an Rx for pain meds. After being wheeled out of the Recovery room into my roomette, all they gave me were a couple of regular Tylenol…and a mini-bagel & schmear (it was the end of Yom Kippur by then—so going NPO after midnight was one type of “easy fast” our rabbi wished us the night before). Only used Tylenol Extra Strength after I got home, and after the second day reverted to my bedtime Arthritis Formula time-release. Ice & pillows were my friends, though. (The NP gave me a pillow with a Velcro shoulder strap to cushion my incisions and a kangaroo pocket containing a mini-pillow to place beneath my shoulder harness for driving).
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Hi ladies!
I hate that we all have to be here, but I'm happy that at least we're in it together. I'm still reeling from my diagnosis and how quickly everything is moving, but I already feel such a kinship and sisterhood with all of you.
My lumpectomy and SNB will be this coming Tuesday the 15th.
I've always said that if I ever got BC, I would get a double mastectomy without even thinking twice about it. Easy to say when you don't actually have cancer! The day of my dx (just a little over a week ago) my doctor made a passionate case for lumpectomy and radiation, spending quite a bit of time talking with me and my boyfriend explaining all the statistics. He was encouraging and convincing, and I do feel that the lumpectomy is the right decision for now, but I've already decided that if I don't have clean margins, I'll want a mastectomy. He told us on Thurs that if I don't have clean margins, he'll just go back in and take more tissue. I asked him if that's the case, wouldn't it be better to just take the whole breast, and he said no. So depending on how things unfold after surgery, I may be butting heads with my doctor but I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.
Yeah, it's nice to keep my breast, I guess (don't really care honestly), but I would much rather have peace of mind. Anyone else feel the same way?
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QueenofWands, I'll be having my surgery on Tuesday too, right up the road from you in Columbia! Keeping good thoughts & healing energy for both us Carolina Girls!
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QueenofWands, welcome. I had never given mastectomy a thought before getting diagnosed—but once I got that first message about the “focal asymmetry” on my mammo, I had the sinking feeling this was karma for my vanity about buying all those pretty colored and lacy underwire bras in my giant cup size (at the time, 38I). I was sure I would have to sew pockets into those bras, or maybe trash them because nobody makes prostheses or implants that big. It wasn’t till my radiologist (not the one who did my diagnostic ultrasound but the one who did my core needle biopsy) said, “if it’s malignant, it’s still small enough that you’ll be able to keep your breast” that I realized that lumpectomy was possible. And when, at my first BS consult, she told me that lumpectomy & rads are standard of care for Stage IA with clear margins and that mastectomy would confer no survival benefit, I was immensely relieved.
Make no mistake—if I get a recurrence in either an inauspicious location of my opposite breast or in the radiated portion of my already-operated breast I will probably go for a mastectomy. (My nurse-navigator explained that for those who had targeted partial-breast rads, fi there’s an ipsilateral recurrence outside the field that was originally radiated, lumpectomy & targeted radiation is possible a second time. You can’t do a course of radiation on the same tissue more than once). But once a breast is gone, it’s gone. Not even the most convincing reconstruction will ever feel the same (inside or out) as a natural breast.
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As many have said here - once it's gone, it's gone. My surgeon gave me the option of either a lumpectomy (more properly called a partial mastectomy) with radiation or a mastectomy. I saw no reason to have the more extensive surgery. But should I ever have a recurrence (and I sure hope I don't), I think I'd opt for a double mastectomy with no reconstruction. The stories of reconstruction I've read on here are pretty terrifying! At 70 I think flat would be just fine!
Best of luck to you, Queen. Each of us has to make our own decision. No one else's is right for you. We're all with you whatever you decide!
MJ
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