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Coping during the Holidays

LovingIsLiving Member Posts: 89
edited December 2017 in May Their Memory Live On

It has been almost 10 months since my brother's passing. Not a day goes by where he isn't thought of with bittersweet tears or a fleeting laugh about something he once said. The holidays have been especially hard on my mom. Neither of us put up any Christmas decorations this year, except for a small tree by his picture. My mom insists on being in mourning for a full year. But whether one year or 5 years later, I don't think the holidays will ever be the same.

We decorated his headstone for Christmas last week. It looks so beautiful and so unbelievably saddening that this is the closest we can get to him. I bought both my mom and me a heart necklace with his picture engraved in the center. We wear it everyday and people always ask me whose picture it is.

We try to remind ourselves of what Christmas is all about, and that we still have each other, and that he still lives on in our memories and our hearts. But it's hard. It's hard when the person who meant so much isn't there anymore. My son made a slideshow of my brother's pictures and we watch it every now and then. It's nice to remind us of the carefree times we had.

So I wish you all a happy holiday season full of smiles and happy memories. Cherish every moment (and take lots of pictures!) and you will look back on them with a warm heart. Much love to all. <3


  • meow13
    meow13 Member Posts: 1,363
    edited December 2017

    loving, I kind of understand. My father died on February 8th 2017 and I feel particularly sad. But somehow I feel he is not very far away. Life is different but I do feel he visits me almost daily. I keep waiting for the phone to ring and hear his voice. I have children, a husband and mother here to celebrate with. My dad is happy and without pain.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2017

    I understand too. My father died many years ago just before Christmas. My mother is no longer living either so the holidays are both joyous and sad. My mother always decorated for every holiday and I do the same. I have lost 2 brothers as well.

    Do cherish your memories. Losing them is very difficult. They truly take a piece of your heart with them. I recently put Christmas flowers on all their graves.

    I do the same thing Meow regsrdingmy Mom. I talked to her every day. It leaves such a void especially with all the grandchildren and even great grandchildren she and my dad never got to meet.

    I’m sorry for your loses. Time won’t bring them back but it does help. At least it has for me.

    Have a blessed Christmas.


  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 1,248
    edited December 2017

    We lost my mother last summer and I'm finding the holidays are a mixed bag this year. My sister & I cared for her until she passed. Both of us got depressed around Thanksgiving, but we were fortunate to be able to be together for the holiday. Dh & I sold our house Dec 8 and are temporarily staying in my mother's house. It is unnerving being there without her. We will be visiting our children in Georgia, so no tree, no decorations this year. I'm trying to just stay in the moment, enjoy the visit and not get hung up on the traditions that are being set aside this year.

  • meow13
    meow13 Member Posts: 1,363
    edited December 2017

    Hard for me this year I miss my Dad.