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Welcome to The Worry Bar

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I'm doing an online Zoom MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) class from gilda's club. Last week the class was about accepting thoughts vrs have an aversion to thoughts. That resonated with me and now I have a coping mechanism that is taking shape and seems to be reducing my scanxiety and FOR (fear of recurrence)

When I have a worry, I imagine that I am the proprietor of "The Worry Bar" and welcome the thought and invite it to take a seat. I tell it, you can stay here as long as you want, but I get to choose your drink. Scanxiety is at the end of the bar today drinking raspberry lime kombucha. I know this may sound silly, but I'm finding it kinda works. I def. have less anxiety than unusual about how I need to call and schedule a routine follow-up scan on Thursday. Entering The Worry Bar as I type that is "Afraid to look forward to my anniversary on 4/2 because then maybe something bad will happen when I get the scan" She is super annoying so even though she wanted iced coffee she's getting a chamomile tea because she needs to chill out.

Sharing in case this sort of mental game helps anyone else :-)

Comments

  • annabelle2
    annabelle2 Member Posts: 27
    edited March 2021
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    I like this! I'm going to try to come up with something similar (and just contacted Gilda's Club to see if I can get some help after struggling alone for 3 years). Thank you for sharing this Smile

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857
    edited March 2021
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    I took MBSR through my hospital in 2014, prior to cancer diagnosis. I had in particular a relationship issue that had triggered severe anxiety and depression. Even though I was through the worst of it, I still had clean-up work to do.

    I created a room similar to yours, for that person and a handful of other "troublesome people" in my life. They especially would visit me as I tried to go to sleep, keeping me awake or giving me a poor night's sleep.

    I made my troublesome people stay on the screened deck. Some parts of the year that's a pretty delightful place, but it would be pretty uncomfortable to sit out there overnight. There is only a door into the house, none out to the yard. There's no bathroom available. I would tell them, I can't keep you from showing up, but you have to stay on the screened deck. I'm not going to entertain you. I'm not serving you a drink. You can't come in for the bathroom. Once they were there, not inside with me, I would go to sleep and sleep peacefully. It honestly still amazes me how well it worked, and after a while, they quit showing up so much.

    I haven't used this method much to deal with health anxiety, but if I practiced it, I'm sure I could make it work.

    Thanks for bringing it up. I hope others get some benefit from it, too.

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited March 2021
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    Yes def. take advantage of Gilda's Club they have many virtual programs right now!

    Mountain Mia. I love this. No bathroom breaks for the troublesome :-)

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,091
    edited March 2021
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    2019whatayear -- this is great! Thank you for sharing! We're sure this conversation will be helpful for many managing the worry and stress that comes with a diagnosis. We hope this thread stays flowing and others offer suggestions or experiences they've found helpful!

    For additional information, some links from the main Breastcancerorg.site:

    We look forward to seeing how this thread evolves!

    --The Mods