Any other queer community members on here lately?

saltmarsh Member Posts: 190
edited October 2022 in LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer

Holy Moses, it's been awhile since anyone posted! But sometimes all it takes is one person to make others feel comfortable, so I'll step into the void. Join me if you are so moved. :)

I am a straight-passing, cisgendered female in a monogamous, hetero relationship, but identify as a member of the queer community, have a stepkid who's NB (agender), and at least half of my friends and neighbors are also members of the alphabet-soup community. Poly and kink-aware/friendly.

Shout-out to anyone who doesn't feel represented or reflected in this process, and also to all the transfolx who have made it easier for all of us to have a range of options that include aesthetic flat closures! I chose to reconstruct, but I like having that as an option either if this fails or for down the road if I end up needing to choose again and feel differently.


  • julesai
    julesai Member Posts: 11

    Yes! I am here, too. 64-year-old lesbian in a wonderful, long-term monogamous relationship.

    Happy Pride month, everyoone!

  • valsrq
    valsrq Member Posts: 3

    Just joined. 🌈🌈🌈 Dx Ductal Carcinoma. Nothing 2020 screening mammo. Waiting for surgery consult.
    Cisgendered female non-binary. 71 yo. Jackie - Aussie Silky Terrier and Bingo, tuxedo senior feline are housemates.
    My partner of 44 years died in Nov 2020 of BC mets after years of Tx. Judy died peacefully at home while in hospice.
    Mother and maternal aunt both died of BC mets in the 80s.

  • saltmarsh
    saltmarsh Member Posts: 190

    Welcome ValSRQ! I'm so sorry for the circumstances, and for the loss of your partner, but you are welcome here.

    I think between you, and JulesAI and I, we have a nice little queer corner going, and I'm. sure we're not alone. I am constantly reminded by the kids in my community (several of whom are in various stages of identification and coming out) that visibility is important, so thanks for piping up, y'all.

  • orlando74
    orlando74 Member Posts: 13

    I'm here! I'm queer! Been diagnosed with Stage 3b/c over 3.5 years ago!

  • saltmarsh
    saltmarsh Member Posts: 190

    Ooh, hey! I knew there were more of us on here. :)

  • vrobin
    vrobin Member Posts: 1


    38yo stage3 lesbian survivor here!

    In search of my tribe 🙂

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 6,951

    Welcome vrobin! Medicating

  • Hi there, fam! So happy to stumble on this thread. 39 y/o, identify as gay/queer, non-binary leaning. About three weeks post-bilateral with expander placement. Continuing to make strides on this marathon.

    Happy belated Pride month, all!

  • iamverystressed
    iamverystressed Member Posts: 2

    Hi everyone, I am a intersex trans woman who is askenazi and has a quite a extensive family history of breast cancer. After starting HRT ten years ago at 20 I have had quite a bit of breast growth past what I had from my original intersex puberty. Last week I had a mammogram because of a spot on my right breast and they found a mass in my left one. They did a U/S right away and graded the mass a BI-RADS 4a. I have a biopsy in around 12 hours to see if it is malignant.

    I am considering a prophylactic double mastectomy because every woman on my dads side of the family has died of breast cancer, at not exactly old, and i already have a tumor at 30. I have people i can talk to, my husband is a trans man who had his breasts removed two years ago and it was easy peasy, but its a lot more complicated than that for me as a woman. especially since i've had a more strange path to womanhood than most.

    I am estranged from my family so looking to them for support isn't possible so I guess i'm just looking for advice since all my friends are the same age or younger than me and havent experienced anything like this

  • saltmarsh
    saltmarsh Member Posts: 190

    Belated welcomes to vrobin and Icouldreallyuseacupcake! I apologize for the delay; I haven't been on the board in months.

    Also to you, iamverystressed! I wish I had worthwhile advice for you. I feel for your situation both as someone who has had cancer and lost a family member from it, but particularly for that last line about how you are the first among your friends to have these questions and have to go through this alone.

    I have been in that type of situation with pregnancy, with losing a parent young, and then again with the breast cancer. It was different each time, and lonely in all new ways each time.

    Here is the only advice I do feel I can give, and it's just my opinion: Please trust your gut, follow your intuition, and make the choices that feel right to you. Why? Because you're the one who will have to live with them.

    I hope that your biopsy came up clean and you should feel free to vent if it did not.

  • jh40
    jh40 Member Posts: 134

    iamverystressed- how did your biopsy go?

    I’m 40 and currently in treatment for breast cancer. I had a single mastectomy back in June.

    The first piece of advice that everyone on this forum gave to me was that it’s always good to see what the results are before getting worried. This is easier said than done of course, but it is so true.

    The next piece of advice was to try not to use Dr Google too much because you can go down a rabbit hole of dread and it can be disastrous. It’s good to research things so that you can advocate for yourself once you know what’s what, but it’s always good to keep in mind that the internet is unfiltered and not all information is good or will apply to your situation.

    This is a long road for most. And probably the best piece of advice when facing it is to try to take things one step at a time. As a person with a panic disorder/health anxiety this situation for me is my living nightmare, but I have managed to face and get through some of my very worst fears. I used to be terrified of surgery, but I no longer am.

    The time between finding something and finding out for sure what it is (or isn’t!) is the worst time, and that I can completely attest to. I lost so much sleep and peace in the 2 weeks between my gynecologist visit and my biopsy results. It was truly hell. So know you aren’t alone if this is what you’re experiencing.

    I’m a bit of a new kid on the block but I’m happy to answer any questions you’ve got that I can. Others will hopefully join in. Hugs!

  • iamverystressed
    iamverystressed Member Posts: 2

    Sorry for the delayed news, I have been dealing with a lot of physical therapy for a spinal cord injury and I got covid(brutal!) so I have been like flat out exhausted most days.

    The biopsy went well, it was much more intense than I expected(probably because it was right in my face unlike when I had skin cancer and that local wide excision was done on my back so I couldn't see it). I think they removed about half of the tumor with the core biopsy. It came back as a benign fibroadenoma thankfully.

    They want me to get a follow up ultrasound asap, then a mammogram in a few months. I was told my the doctor who did the biopsy that I should get genetic testing done so in November I will be meeting with the genetic counseling people at Jefferson. Hopefully my spinal problems are under control by that point so I can focus on this stuff when I need to then!

  • emotionalpond
    emotionalpond Member Posts: 31