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Still in disbelief

Gailgirl
Gailgirl Member Posts: 5
edited February 2022 in Just Diagnosed

I was diagnosed Wednesday with grade 2 IDC. I’m still in disbelief. It’s the only thing I can think about day and night

Comments

  • kksmom3
    kksmom3 Member Posts: 101

    I understand, that's how I felt too. I want you to know that it WILL get better. It may take awhile, but there is much that can be done these days. I

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857

    Gailgirl, I'm sorry you're facing this. One thing you might already know, but in case you don't: grade is not the same as stage. Grade refers to how different the cells are from normal cells. Grade 2 means they are somewhat abnormal. So clearly this isn't what you want, but it doesn't say much at all about your overall diagnosis or prognosis. It sounds like you don't have much information yet. That will come quickly. This forum and also the posts with the "main" breastcancer.org can help you learn a lot about your diagnosis.

    Good luck to you. Please let us know when you find out more.

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,934

    I'm sorry you've had to join us, but welcome! I found it helpful (for the space between my ears🤪) to schedule fun things between appointments and tests and surgeries. Nothing elaborate, mostly visits to parks, watching silly movies, whatever appeals to you. Think of it as putting good memories in the bank for later.

  • wondering44
    wondering44 Member Posts: 247

    Hi Gailgirl,

    When I joined this forum, I thought the other women who told me the constant thinking and fears about cancer would get better once I got a treatment plan in place after surgery could not be right. How right they all were. Time does bring ease to you. The treatment plan and final pathology from surgery do bring relief. As crazy as it sounds now, it does get better.

    You are right to go through the constant thoughts today, tomorrow, and many days afterward. It is a normal reaction. Don't fret about your feelings. Getting a cancer diagnosis gives you every right to think and feel how you do.

    I am sorry that you are going through this. It is not an easy road to travel. However, I am glad that you have found us. This place is full of knowledge and understanding from so many others who have traveled your road. I wish you many warm thoughts through each step of the cancer process.

  • rah2464
    rah2464 Member Posts: 1,192

    Gailgirl you are receiving some wonderful advice here. You will be experiencing a tremendous amount of emotion for a bit. It is kind of like a whirlwind of doctors appointments, information, education all that. Please continue to reach out to this site. There is a stellar group of knowledgeable women (and men) who understand the emotions of what you are going through and are willing to share their experiences to help you. Wishing you all the very best.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,474

    Gailgirl, I'm sorry about your diagnosis. It's so crazy in the beginning, but as others have said, it does start to get just a little bit better. Once you get a firm diagnosis and a treatment plan, you may start to feel a bit of control.

    Come back and let us know how you're doing. Browse the threads with your specific diagnosis and treatment plan. Wishing you the very best.

    Carol

  • waves2stars
    waves2stars Member Posts: 98

    Gailgirl, it sucks. I'm sorry you're here, but you've got a bunch of people here who know exactly what you're feeling and understand even your darkest fears. I stopped thinking about it night and day, the way you're thinking now, when I woke up from surgery. I still think about it, but it isn't the nightmare it was before. Believe it or not, I wake up every day feeling like I got Willie Wonka's Golden Ticket in this situation. HUGGGZZZZ!!!!



  • Gailgirl
    Gailgirl Member Posts: 5

    Thank you all I really appreciate all your kind words. It helps more than you know.I see the breast surgeon on Thursday.

  • nikko1963
    nikko1963 Member Posts: 7

    Im right there with you. Just diagnosed on Tuesday. Keep reading these boards. These women have given me both strength and hope.

  • ab45
    ab45 Member Posts: 153

    The beginning is the worst! A year ago this month I was diagnosed with IDC. I did not think I would make it through but I DID and you will too! No matter what tomorrow is, you can choose to face it with hope and determination...think positive...1 in 8 women are diagnosed...you are in the right place for support

    This too shall pass

  • Omega1
    Omega1 Member Posts: 1

    Hello Gailgirl,

    I just read your post and it’s my first time here. Sorry to hear about your news. It feels like a journey is starting for you and I both TODAY. I just received the histology report 3 hours ago from the biopsy done 1.5 weeks ago. My Dr called me and told me the news: invasive mammary carcinoma. Referred me straight away to a surgeon and cancer care. Expecting their calls tomorrow.

    This was following a routine mammogram. Called back and sent for diagnostic mammogram and US a week later with report of breast density and a mass, had core biopsies on the same day.

    I was completely blown away. No history in the family and there is so much swimming around my head. I feel for you and send you lots of good vibes. I guess our journeys just begun today to what appears to be far from boring! Best wishes to you. My biggest worries are how to tell my two adult children. With Christmas approaching, need I say more?

    Take good care and I am so pleased and grateful to have found this group of fantastic supportive new friends!

    Big hugs


  • kater2021
    kater2021 Member Posts: 9

    I was also fairly recently diagnosed (Oct 28)- triple neg stage 3b- and have done 2 of 16 planned doses of neoadjuvant chemo & immunotherapy (before surgery). In these few short weeks I had 5 biopsies (2 more scheduled Thurs -- MRI guided core biopsies of both breasts), CT, MRI, PET, multiple mammograms-- in short, *overwhelming*. Someone recently said to me that it makes sense I feel overwhelmed "because breast cancer is traumatic"-- but what I thought to myself is actually it is not that bc *is* (singular) traumatic-- but rather, about 40 different traumas rapidly unfolding with almost no time to process one bit of feedback, news, worry, etc before getting the next, having to muster up the courage for the next procedure, etc.

    I *do* also hope that things will get better. I see a light at the end of this short tunnel where the assessment phase at least takes a pause and I can *just* focus on treatment (which is for the first 3 months weekly chemo/immunotherapy, then 4 sessions over 3 months)-- and while that will be followed by surgery/radiation/more immunotherapy-- at least for this short time, a pause on the unrelenting series of hard things to face/adjust to, etc-- time to emotionally process and catch up.

    Definitely an overwhelming journey. We can all give ourselves lots of grace-- this is not just a trauma, but traumas. It's a lot. Strength, peace and health to all.

  • tntnsd
    tntnsd Member Posts: 124

    Hi Gailgirl, Omega1, Kate:

    I am so so sorry that you have to join us and deal with this at this time of the year (not that anytime is easier). No doubt it is a roller coaster ride, filled with anxiety for the last several week leading to official diagnosis. I still remembered how struggled both me and my husband last year between Thanksgiving to New year , waiting for biopsy and diagnosis. It’s weird that we had kinda sense of relief (from all the guessing and wandering to worst scenario) when my doctor called me on Dec 31st morning, telling me that I had BC (DCIS).

    Anyhow, we managed to keep that news to ourselves until we were able to see our doctor team and learn about what would be the treatment plan for the next couple months/years. And it is true that I think the hardest thing of this journey for me is the time I told my kids, and the rest of family about it, but it is absolutely helpful to have the treatment plan and explain that to them. And then telling my boss too….


    Looking back almost a year later, we feel blessed that we have found this group, and have a strong support system at home. I am forever graceful for many advices, listening ears on this group to calm our worry, to reassure us that it will getting easier at some point. And it is true.


    I hope that you all have the strength, support you need to get through this as well. My heart, my prayers are with you all .

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,684

    Thoughts to all of you newly diagnosed. You will find good support here from everyone. It is overwhelming and at this time of year it is stressful enough at the end of the year with all the holiday and winter and dealing with medical appointments as well. Take care of yourselves and let others do things for you if they offer. You may need some time to rest as well since you are probably not getting a lot of sleep right now either like most of us at first either. Best wishes.

  • emstein
    emstein Member Posts: 24

    hi everyone,

    I am joining you all as newly diagnosed and also a bit overwhelmed. I have my own thread going but wanted to join in and say hi. Diagnosed on 12/8 (was it only 2 days ago?) with IDC, 1cm Grade 2. ER+, HER2-. I met with my surgeon yesterday and she guesstimated that I'm a stage 1a, but kind of don't even want to say it out loud without knocking on wood. I'm so scared of hidden disease and/or lymph node involvement.

    I agree 100% about the trauma aspect of all of this. It's been rough.

    I know this is do-able. Some things I've been telling myself are: The only way out is through. And I don't have to be ok with this AT ALL. I just have to show up and follow the experts directions. So, deep breaths and love to all of you newly diagnosed. I'm with you.

    xoemily

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 12,994

    I found lots of support on the current threads - in fact 'met' people there I am still in touch with. I also read the month before I started, but it seems easier to go through treatment with others & share what's happening at the same time. Below is the November chemo thread. There are also current surgery threads.

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topics...


  • Gailgirl
    Gailgirl Member Posts: 5

    Hi everyone. Nice to meet you all. Still trying to wrap my head around this, but taking it one day at a time. I mean I have my moments. Met with my surgeon she explained everything to me which was a lot. My baby sister took notes because I just couldn’t deal. I had Several appointments after. I had a Breast MRI which lead to another biopsy. Biopsy was benign. Which was great news. So stage is I. Ki 67 is 51%. ER/PR + and Her2 -. I’m currently waiting for my genetic testing to come back. My surgeon spoke about me possibly having chemo because of my age (41)but we will see. All I know is that I will have surgery and radiation. My husband and I have decided to tell our four boys ages 21,19,17 and 12. We haven’t decided if we should do it before Christmas or a couple days after. Not sure if any time is the right time. I’m glad I found this space/forum.

    We will all get through this. We got this!!

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293

    I was first diagnosed in early Dec 2017. I told my whole family including kids right away. It didn't put a damper on xmas...if anything it made it more special, kwim?

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 12,994

    I took another route. I didn't tell any family or friends until I had a plan. That way I could answer their questions and hopefully assuage their fears.

  • hippmark
    hippmark Member Posts: 92

    Hi Gailgirl. We are on very similar paths. I was diagnosed Oct. 29 with a 1.8cm, Grade 2, Ki67-50% in the upper inner quadrant, right breast. I have also been overwhelmed with all the tests and appointments. Had an MRI that now shows a small mass in left breast, which I am going for an MRI biopsy on Friday to see what that shows. There is a bit of good news for you as you have been able to move this along quickly so far! My surgery is the 23rd and that will be 2 months after diagnosis.

    It sounds like you have a lovely family to support you and that will help so much! I'm certain you will find the right time for you to tell your boys. As well as your positive attitude! That means so much.

    This community has been my rock and a huge source of information. You will find comfort here.


  • piperkay
    piperkay Member Posts: 132

    Hi all! I'm another one diagnosed at the beginning of holiday season, 3 years ago. Told only my husband and went through Thanksgiving with extended family pretending I didn't just find out I had cancer. Ugh. But from all accounts, it was one of the best gatherings the rest of them had so I guess I nailed it! Had surgery on December 10, 2018, and on December 10, 2021, I didn't have one thought about that! Maybe that had something to do with me being in Las Vegas or maybe it's just big ole fat denial. Either way, it's great not to be thinking about it all the time anymore. Today is my 55th birthday, and I'm so grateful just to be here.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 12,994

    Happy birthday Piper!!!

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 184

    yes I remember LIke yesterday I believe we all can i was so happy planning our 2nd marriages when it found the lump while in shower. But once plan in place for treatment things do ease up some did for me anyway. I was think I g we have a plan lets get going. We are here for you sweetie. Inspiring others as I am now a 27 Yr.God Survivor Hope and Positivity faith family friends get me thru and my wonderful now husband been married 27yrs also. msphil idc stage2 0/3 nodes 3 mo chemo before and after Lmast got married then 7wks rads 5 yrs on tamoxifen. Hold on.

  • piperkay
    piperkay Member Posts: 132

    Thank you Minus Two!

  • Gailgirl
    Gailgirl Member Posts: 5

    Hi everyone. Hope all is well. Had my Lumpectomy and sentinel lymph node biopsy on Monday. On Friday got pathology results no lymph nodes involved great news. My follow up with the surgeon is January 20. Not sure when I meet with the oncologist. I guess I’ll contact my nurse navigator and ask. I didn’t realize all the steps we all go through just to get to another step. This is a process. I been in good spirits but after my lumpectomy I started to feel unsure like is this my new normal. Will I ever feel normal again. Maybe this is my new normal. Thanks for listening/reading. Praying for all of you.

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 184

    hey sweetie I couldn't believe my diagnosis just met man I prayed for to marry this our 2nd marriages then I found the lump. Had my cry then decided to fight the good fight with my faith fiance now husband family friends. Get 2nd opinion then treatment diagnosed idc. 3mo chemo before and after Lmast got married then 7 wks rads 5yrs on tamoxifen. Adriamycin cytoxin 5fu. Praise God this yr will be 28 yr Survivor. Hold on sweetie. Hope Positive thoughts.